A/N: Anyone know Anderson's first name? Also, Lestrade needs his Wilkins back… Perhaps I'll write about it later. Also, I'm absolutely pulling these facts out of my a-. Feel free to correct me.
Paucity – smallness of quantity ; scarcity; scantiness
It has come to my attention that there is a rapid decline in the intelligence quotient of the human population. To prove my point I have examined four individuals in order of increasing (though still minimalistic) intelligence:
Anderson
33, married for six years. No children (thankfully). Serial adulterer. One of the most insufferable human beings to walk the planet Earth. If his brain were to work any less efficiently, he would probably forget how to breathe. An idiot of the highest degree. Hardly worth elaborating.
King Arthur/Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All/ David
Age unknown. Yesterday I met an interesting man at the park. Amidst his random ramblings about the end of the world, Merlin and occupy London, this homeless man had piqued my interest. A far better example of Homo sapiens than Anderson. I was able to garner intriguing facts about survival in a city whilst escaping authorities. I labeled such information as "interesting" and set it aside to test for at a later date. Unfortunately, some officers came by (dull) and recognized the man as an escaped convict from the nearby mental health institute and promptly carted him off. Pity. The next time we meet I will have to inquire about escape tactics.
Gregory Lestrade
Detective Inspector for the Scotland Yard. 42. Has shown penchant for romantic comedies which he and John secretly watch together. Unhappily married and soon to undergo a divorce in which his spouse will be granted full custody over the children and the deed to the house. Tolerable. His redeeming quality is knowing when he is out of his depth, which is almost always.
John Hamish Watson
Army doctor recently returned from Afghanistan. Well informed in matters pertaining to medicine and the human body. Is incredibly sentimental and prone to random outbursts of anger upon seeing one of my experiments (Note to self: check on nose in breadbox for malignant growths). John is knowledgeable in many useless areas such as some planets rotating around some star or other. He is also well versed in cooking, and cleaning. Useful. Possesses questionable taste in clothing. Is terrible at writing. Good for fetching things (if one can put up with the lecturing and grumbling). Favourite colour is blue. Favourite TV show is IQ. He has proven to be incredibly adept at distracting consulting detectives from their original experiments. Further investigation required.
A/N: I painted a moustache on my thumb. Thought you ought to know.