Chapter Two
There was a familiar ringing beside her, and she groggily rolled over and stared at the intrusion.
5AM.
Wonderful. Beckett could vaguely remember the ride between the hospital and her bed, but she was certain Castle had something to do with it. After 2 more days in a haze in that beige hospital room, the doctor had allowed her to leave given that she takes her meds and takes it easy. Grant had scheduled her follow-up next week to make sure there was no brain damage. Castle, at that point, almost made a quip but stopped when she shot him a look. She was about to get ready to head into work but soon remembered she wasn't needed at the precinct. So she collapsed back into the warmth of her bed, for once thankful for the Captain's insistence and closed her eyes.
When she woke again, it was nearing noon. Her hearing was muffled with a slight whine and she closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. Grant had mentioned that this might continue for a few weeks on and off, even if she feels ready to get back to work. Hopefully, it would be more off than on. She sighed. Reluctantly, she went to the bathroom to take a shower. She stared into the mirror and examined closely. The abrasions on her brow and her temple were already beginning to heal. They were no longer the angry red colour it was after the explosion. The laceration on her cheek, from a piece of shrapnel, was a little more stubborn. She winced when she touched the back of her head. She sighed, changed her bandages and headed to the kitchen. However, opening up her refrigerator reminded her that she hadn't gone grocery shopping in weeks. The old take out was beginning to grow a new species while the eggs were starting to give off an interesting odour. Giving up, she brewed herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a box of dry cereal and pulled up a book that she had been putting off to read.
But the silence was deafening.
Deep in thought, she stared at her car keys. Looking quickly at her father's watch, then back at the car keys, she took a deep breath and committed. Running to her car before she changed her mind, she started the engine and found herself driving to a familiar red-bricked building. She had parked and was now stalled in the driver's seat, again toying with a thought. God I'm an idiot. She sighed and rested her forehead on the steering wheel.
A knock on her passenger side window caused her to jump. Seeing the familiar face of Richard Castle made her smile. "Do you need help getting out of your car?" he said, muted by the closed window.
"No, " she replied as her door swung open, "I'm not you."
"Ha." He said dryly. "What are you doing here? A day off work and you miss me already?"
"Don't flatter yourself." The truth was, she did miss him. His morning coffee with two sugars... "I was in the neighbourhood and I was just seeing if you, Alexis and Martha wanted to grab some brunch."
"It's just me actually." he smiled "Mother is in Martha's Vineyard with Chet, Alexis is on a trip. They'll be back next week. You ran out of food at home didn't you? "
"I didn't have time to do groceries."
"Well, now you do." his smile widened, "let's get you some food."
The pair left the car and walked to the nearby grocery store. The scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the sliding glass doors, re-awakening memories of her and her mother shopping for food on a Saturday morning when she was young. She smiled as she saw that ritual repeated with a little girl watching her mother order some croissants from the baker while her son placed items to her cart when she wasn't looking. Castle tried to read her thoughts as he glanced at her. "Pastries and coffee?" She nodded.
They walked together at the market, down each aisle, easing in and out of conversation. She talked animatedly using her hands to express herself about how she and her mother use to go to the market together, and about stealing more than one sample allowed for customer when she was a child. Castle shared a few anecdotes about Alexis and her harrowing visits to the grocery store. Beckett turned the corner down the frozen foods aisle and picked up a bag of peas.
"Oooh ice cream is on sale." he called out in front of her. His head was already stuck in the freezer trying to figure out which chocolaty bucket to buy.
"Just pick one Castle." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "If memory serves me correctly, you have tubs upon tubs of chocolate ice cream at your house."
"You forget I live with two women. Oh there we go, triple chocolate. Fantastic." Then tossed it into the cart.
"Is it me who's doing the groceries or you?" Her shopping was quickly filling up with various amount of stuff that Castle had 'mysteriously' added. "I hope you know that I'm not taking any of that stuff home with me."
"Good then that means you'll be coming to my place more often." He said with a grin.
A buzz signaled her to reach to her back pocket, forgetting about her bad arm, she flinched. Damn it. "Hey Lanie."
Castle echoed the sentiment.
"Was that hunky writer boy?" She asked. Colour began to creep into Beckett's cheeks. She could practically hear her friend's lips widen into a smile "Am I interrupting something?"
"I'm doing some grocery shopping Lanie. Groceries. As in food."
"You know what else you can pick up right?"
"Not your phone calls?"
"Enjoy your day with Handsome." She said coyly and ended the call.
"Aw, does she miss us?" Castle suddenly piped up.
"When you say us, I'm assuming you mean me, then yes, she misses 'us'." He then threw in some jellybeans he found on sale in the middle of the aisle. "Castle, seriously, what is with you and sugar?"
"It helps me write. And I have a novel to put out." He threw her a knowing look. "So what are you going to do for the next few days if I may ask?"
"I don't know. Catch up on my reading… maybe find a new couch since my last one kind of exploded into a billion pieces... My new place has a little more room so maybe also get a couple of new shelves."
"Don't you have weekends to do this?"
"If you haven't noticed, Castle, I'm usually a little busy on weekends. You know, like running down leads and interviewing witnesses?" She looked absently at her spoils, counting in her head for the amount of money this shopping trip was going to cost her "Just because you get to choose to go home to Alexis on weekends doesn't mean that we all get to. And when I am off, I usually just collapse with a book."
They made their way to the checkout and left with six bags of groceries. Castle was beginning to see Beckett's point about buying too much. They headed back to his apartment but he had trouble opening his front door without dropping one of the bags.
Richard Castle was doing research. There were books and papers strewn across the countertops and a few balls of paper were crumpled in the basket labeled 'For the shredder'. "Sorry for the mess." He piped up. "I'm putting this in the fridge. Make yourself at home."
"Thanks." she said as she offloaded the bags into the kitchen. Beckett walked by his bookshelf, her fingers lingering on each and every book spine. Their owner, who had religiously marked sections with blue, yellow, pink and purple Post-Its, had read them all. Some of them were fading and some were brand new. A few peaked her interest, so she left herself a mental note of the ones she must borrow from him. The man was interested in everything, and every book she came across had their place in his novels. Some had some bearing in the cases that they solved.
Their first case had been a cautious dance between the two of them. She had known men like him- a highflying self-obsessed playboy who just happened to be one of her favourite writers. She was happy to shake him lose after she had told him about the crime and the posing of the bodies. Although the hard-nosed detective had to admit that he was, as much as he was a jackass, charming. So when he stole evidence pertinent to her case, she took even greater pleasure then to arrest him at the New York Public Library. Just when she thought she could possibly grow to like him, the case ended and she thought nothing more of it. That was until the next morning when he appeared at Captain Montgomery's desk with a proposition and weaseled his way back into her life. She did not need a partner. She already had two other detectives at her disposal. Although he had been a good resource and wall to bounce ideas off of, in her mind, he remains that playboy who cared of nothing but him.
Unfortunately and reluctantly, she got to know him.
As months drew on, with every case, he peeled like an onion. She even conceded that he was useful. Who knew playboys had sides? Now she couldn't help but miss his annoying quips when he was off on a book tour or a publicity event and not with her at the precinct. Then there was that amazing kid of his. She picked up black-framed photo of the two of them. Alexis must have been only five, walking with her father's hand wrapped around hers. Richard had leaned slightly to accommodate her. Her heart warmed at the idea of Castle as a father. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. It almost makes up for his shallowness when he chose his dates. But then there was Kyra. She was unlike the Page Six starlets that he dated or fell into bed with. She was smart, savvy and caring... and despite trying to, very hard to dislike.
"I didn't know you went for real. Tough breakup?" she had said to him as they left the elevator that morning of the bridesmaid's murder. He had been so serious, so forlorn, and so un-Castle-like. To the question, he replied: "It was a long time ago."
She moved from his table when she noticed the leather bound ones sitting on the shelf in the corner. There were about 16 of them in total, with no titles in its spine. She tipped one out and carefully slipped the leather strip out of its holster holding in its contents.
In Heat
Cold Heat
Heat of the Night
Heat Wave.
It was the manuscript to Heat Wave, handwritten with a black fountain pen. She flipped through. There were a few pages missing, as there were tear marks on the binding. She could see he didn't particularly enjoy those pages and ended up throwing them out. Beckett reminded herself that the author, as much as he was a techno-geek, still preferred the traditional way of writing. There were scribbles of notes on the side margins. Suddenly, she felt as if she was intruding and reading his love letters, and she quickly placed it back on the shelf.
"Find anything interesting?" He said, breaking her out of her reverie. He held out a cup of coffee.
"Just reading through what you have." She couldn't help but smile at him. "What were you up to today before I rudely interrupted your day?"
"Nothing much. Writing or researching, you know, general procrastinating. It's no fun at the precinct with you guys." then his eyes lit up, "let's relax a little today shall we?"
"What do you have in mind?"
They started walking from his apartment without a destination in mind. They ended up at some point at Central Park. Autumn always brought out the wedding photographers and their clients; Babies were being pushed in their prams; old men in their poor boy caps sat disgruntled at the newspaper they were reading. She breathed in the cool crisp air. The Captain was right, she needed a break and the fresh air helped her in and off headache. She glanced over to her companion who was in the recounting his story of how he was once stuck in a tree with Alexis and his mother watching. They stopped for hot dogs and as they sat to eat, they found themselves watching a young couple trying to get their child to walk.
"Ever think about having one of those?" He said softly, crushing the empty hotdog foil into a ball. She said nothing for a while then she asked:
"Do you want another one?"
"Yeah sure, some day but you still haven't answered my question." He could see she was struggling with a thought. She had her Shut-Up-I'm-Thinking-Castle look plastered on her face.
"What was it like having Alexis?"
"Well I wouldn't know Detective. I seem to lack a womb to make that happen." Beckett cocked an eyebrow as he paused to gather his thoughts. "It was so strange holding something so little for the first time Her hands were so small, she could only grasp my pinky." He smiled at the memory of gathering up his newborn daughter in his arm, she holding on to his fingers. But she already had him wrapped around hers the moment he saw her. "It's hard to put into words how I felt that day but everything changed. It was like I had been living in the world upside down before her and didn't know it."
They sat in silence for several more minutes, watching the couple pack up their picnic and gather the child back into the stroller.
"I'd like one..." she told him with a slow grin, "or two... someday… But I never understand how cops handle having kids. I'm busy enough as it is." Castle remembered that case with the missing child, how good she was with her when she found her. He was thankful for the female influence that she had on his only daughter, giving her advice he could not give her. He had glimpsed a life that he could have with her in a flash. He would sit at home with their kids to write, while she would save the world from evil. Then she would come home in the evening, picking up their kid and swing them around, smile on her face... He was getting away from himself again. He had been catching himself daydreaming about Detective Kate Beckett and her crooked smile. It was getting a little irritating.
By the time they returned to his apartment, it was 6. They cooked, cleaned and settled down. He had spent a full day with the detective and there was no talk or calls of dead bodies. Beckett was relaxed and it was refreshing to see her like that.
But he could have lost her.
He was fumbling with the radio dials and playing with the windshield wipers. He had gotten out of the car and wanted to run after the detective when she told him off, but he was knew he was only going to be a hindrance. Then something exploded, so powerful it shook the car and almost took his legs from under him. He flipped on the radio and called for an ambulance then instinctively ran towards it. Not Beckett, not Beckett, not Kate. When he found her, she was disoriented and her sleeve was soaked through with her own blood. He heard himself let out a breath of relief. He had yelled for her but the ringing in her ear could have caused her not to hear him. She struggled to lift her gun to protect herself but once she recognized him, she put it down.
Beckett caught him staring at the bandage around her wrist as he fiddled with his bowl of risotto. She took his hand and squeezed, prompting him to look up at her. "It wasn't your fault. All the other times, yes, but not that time. You did what you were supposed to do. I didn't want you in the middle of it because you could most definitely had been hurt. And then what would I say to Alexis then? I promised her I would look out for you, I would have fell short of my promise. You could have ended up like Ryan but you stayed put." She smirked, "Besides, who else would annoy me and bring me my coffee in the morning at the precinct?"
She pulled up a book after dinner, while Castle was trying to write on his laptop. But he blamed her for making it more difficult. She looked more at home, curled up on his couch. She was deeply engrossed in the novel, eagerly flipping the page to find out what would happen next. She was unconsciously playing with the stray lock of hair He wondered if she looked like that when she was reading his novels, perhaps in a bathtub. He shook his head to clear his mind.
"Having trouble with the words today Mr. Castle?" She said, eyes never leaving the page. The corners of her lips were pulling into a small smile as she turned to the next chapter.
"Never." He scoffed and swiftly returned to his keyboard. He started writing. When he took another peek, he noticed Kate Beckett was fast asleep with a novel in hand. He didn't have the heart to wake her so he pulled a blanket on top of her and gently placed her book on the coffee table, marking her place with a spare sheet of paper. "Until tomorrow Detective." He whispered, and as he grazed her forehead with his lip, he caught a whiff of her shampoo.
Ah. Cherries.