A/N: Yeah, okay so I totally meant to get this written and uploaded before last Monday's episode, but I've been soooo busy what with finals and the holidays. Here is the finale to Before We Come Undone. This was not beta read (neither was the first chapter) any mistakes are mine alone...This chapter is kind of depressing, I apologize.

On a happier note, how amazing was last week's episode? Who doesn't love Sarah kicking ass, and saving her man?

Bolded italics are flashbacks.

Chuck sat down on the grass. It was a nice sunny day. He played with a few blades of grass, trying to find the words that wanted to come out. He couldn't believe that it had already been a year. A long and trying year since his ordeal, and he was still seeing the CIA psychrist. Doctor Dreyfus refused to give up on him, but he was still unable to flash. He had also given up any hope, or love of being an agent.

His heart started to pound in his chest when he heard leaves crinkle behind him. He turned his head quickly, and watched a squirrel run up a tree, a nut held securely in his mouth. Normally an image like that would bring a smile to his face, maybe even make him chuckle. Not anymore. Chuck had lost that part of himself a year ago today. The events of that as vivid in his mind as if they had only happened yesterday.

Who was this woman? Tall, blond, beautiful. Chuck felt as if he knew her, and yet he could not put a name with the face. He felt his heart accelerate when she spoke to him. He wanted nothing more than to remember her, but he couldn't force himself to.

He watched in stunned silence as she turned quickly, and spoke in a very calm yet threatening voice. The man she spoke to didn't seem frightened of her, and yet Chuck somehow knew that her threats were not merely just that. He could tell that she meant to do what she threatened, and though he knew that should scare him, it didn't.

It was only then that he saw one of the men on the floor start to move. He pointed a shiny silver object at him, and Chuck suddenly felt fear rise up inside of him, and he started to shake. He watched silently as the beautiful woman moved to stand in front of him. The sound that erupted in front of him sounded familiar, though it was the same sound that was erupting throughout the entire room.

In one swift motion, he watched as the woman fell to her knees. The sound that came from her lips made his heart hurt. Quickly she lifted her hand that held a similar silver object up and pointed it at the man that had obviously hurt her. The same sound erupted from her object, and the man, that had hurt her, eyes closed.

He watched as she slowly fell onto her back. Her eyes bore into his, and in that instant it all came flooding back to him. Everything. Sarah, his Sarah, was bleeding to death in front of him and he couldn't help her.

"I promised you were safe…"

"Sarah."

The words were a mere whisper, but he put every ounce of love he felt for her into it. He thought he saw a hint of a smile cross her lips, as her eyes closed.

"Hey sweetheart. I can't believe it's been a year. It seemed to have moved so fast and yet so slowly. It's been hard, and Beckman is still insisting that I talk to Dr. Dreyfus. I'm kind of sick of it all though. I'm done with the agency, even if Beckman says that my country needs me. Why would they need me? I have no intersect…I have no you. I am nothing. Just Chuck Bartowski…"

He paused, as he wiped a tear from his eye. He picked up the flowers he brought with him, and sat them down on the headstone. He let his fingers linger on the words that spoke too much truth.

"I miss you every day. Ellie said that you did it for me. So that I could live but I'm not living, not really. It's too hard to go home at night. To crawl into our bed, and know that you're not going to be there, that you're not coming home. Sarah, you meant…you mean the world to me. Everything I thought I knew about love went straight out the window when I met you. Being with you was like heaven, and now that you're gone it's like I'm stuck in damn purgatory. Like nothing I do can bring out of my own personal hell. The only thing that can bring me back is you, but you're gone…"

Chuck stood, his back against the wall of the waiting room. The doctor had explained to them…or at least the translator explained to them that she had lost a lot of blood. That he would do what he could, but he couldn't promise that he could save her.

"She's a fighter Bartowski. She won't give up that easily."

"It's not about her giving up Casey. It's about whether or not she can survive her injuries…"

Chuck was usually one to look on the bright side of things. To not dwell on things that could happen, but he couldn't get the image of the smile that crossed her lips before she closed her eyes. It was almost like she gave up right then and there.

His head jerked up as the translator, followed by the doctor came out. The look on the doctor's face said it all.

"I did what I could…the internal bleeding was too extensive."

Chuck didn't want to, or couldn't listen to anymore. Shoving his hands into his pockets, and trying to keep the tears from falling from his eyes, he walked away. He just wanted to be alone so that he could break down. So that he could grieve the only woman he had truly loved.

He pulled a beat up piece of paper from his shirt pocket. A few tears fell onto it, as he looked from the paper to her headstone.

"This.." he waved the paper at her headstone. "It was my proposal plan. I just need you to know that I did plan on asking you to marry me. That I wanted nothing more than to marry you…to raise a family and grow old with you. It was all in the plan that would end with me asking you to marry me at the beach in Malibu. Our beach…from our first date. We'd watch the sunrise, just like we did that night, and I'd tell you how I can't live without you. That you're my everything, and even with as cheesy as that sounds, that I mean it with everything inside of me, and that I can't picture my life with anyone but you, and that it would be an honor to spend the rest of my life married to someone as absolutely fantastic as you are…that was the plan anyways…"

"Hey, thought I might find you here…oh my god. Is that what I think that is?"

Ellie sat down beside Chuck, as he handed her the piece of paper.

"Not the original…it's the one I revised…the one I was going to use to ask Sarah. Guess that's gone to hell, along with the rest of my life."

"Chuck, listen to me, please. Sarah would not want this. She wouldn't want you moping around like this. It's alright to grieve your loss Chuck, it's to be expected, but it's been a year. It's time to start moving on. I'm not saying that you have to go out on a date; all I'm asking is for you to get up from the couch that has become your bed, and go to work. Hang out with Morgan, hell hang out with me. Anyone is better than lying on that damn couch all the time. Sarah wouldn't want to see you like this, it would break her heart, and it's breaking mine. I know you love her, and I know that you're hurting, and that is fine Chuck, but please don't stop living your life because of it."

Chuck laid his head on Ellie's shoulder, as tears slipped down his cheeks. It was the only time he let himself cry over what he had lost, besides that day…a year earlier.