Thank you very much for the nice reviews. You made me change my mind: this is now a story of several chapters. More to come.

Chapter 2

Kate stood there as she watched him leave. He left her sight as he turned right outside the park. She was left there wondering what her future could be like. In DC, with an important job. But alone. Or here in New York, surrounded by her friends, her father and Castle. At the precinct doing the same job for a few more years.

She went back to the swing and grasped the chain, looking at where Castle had sat a few minutes earlier. Once again she was alone. No one was beside her anymore. The seat was empty. She sat on her swing again, holding the chains tight, as though she was trying to get the frustration out of her body. It was a deja-vu experience. She had been sitting there a year earlier, under the rain. Once again Kate had a life-changing decision to make. She realized that now he had given her an ultimatum. She realized that if she had told him, she could have had both. But not anymore. Now it was one or the other. The job or the boyfriend. Her professional or personal life.

What was harder to find again? Another job opportunity like the one that was within easy reach or a man who was ready to be by her side no matter what? Or maybe she still had a chance to change his mind, to make him come with her to DC, to have both?

Kate got lost in her thoughts, weighing up the pros and cons of both options when she got brought back to reality by the presence of a little boy. He climbed laboriously on the other swing. Castle's swing.

"Something wrong?" he asked in a little voice.

A shy smile appeared on her face.

"No, I'm fine," Kate answered.

The little boy scrutinized her, holding on to the chains of the swing not to fall. He wouldn't leave sight of her and tilted his head a little, wondering something.

"Why tears?" he asked touching the corner of his own eye.

With his gesture, Kate noticed his eyes. His blue eyes, full of innocence and mischief. Castle's words came back to her mind. I'm just happy it's happening now... and not five years from now, when we're married and have kids. This little boy was around five years old. This boy could be theirs, he could be their future. Same eyes, same hair... Kate bit her lower lip and awkwardly smiled at him without answering his question. It felt like her possible future had just paid her a visit. Kate looked towards the exit of the park where Castle had disappeared a few minutes earlier. She couldn't do this on her own. She couldn't get her thoughts in order. She needed help. She needed an external point of view.

# # # # #

Kate knocked at the door and hoped for her friend to be home. She was. Lanie opened the door a minute later, surprised to see Beckett on her doorway. Seeing the look of despair on Kate's face, Lanie knew she would have some comforting to do.

"Oh, sweetie you're alright?" she exclaimed. Kate simply shook her head without saying a word before Lanie invited her in. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

Kate slowly stepped forward and stood there in the middle of her leaving-room.

"I'm losing him, Lanie..." she said, worried.

"Who, Writer Boy?" Kate nodded, before shaking her head in incomprehension. "What happened? Come, sit down."

"There's something... I haven't told you. I haven't told the boys," she said taking a seat on her couch. They had done that many times. Lanie stayed quiet, waiting for her to open up. "Remember the drone case, with agent Stack?"

"Oh yeah, I remember him," she said with a smile as though he had caught her attention.

"He encouraged me to go to an interview for a job in DC. A job directly under the order of the Attorney General. And I did... I went to DC. That's why I was late on our latest crime scene," Kate paused, giving her time to understand the importance of the situation. It was a life-changing situation. "And I didn't tell Castle about it until after I went to the interview. He found a boarding pass at my place so I told him. He was all upset because I didn't talk to him about this offer before I went to DC... I would have told him!" she defended herself before Lanie could say anything. "I just wanted to know what's what, if I had a chance to even get the job. Why talk about it if it doesn't lead anywhere?" Kate said speaking fast as though time was counted.

"Hold on, Kate... You interviewed for another job without telling him?" she asked with the same serene and reassuring voice she always had in those situations.

"I would have told him eventually. I was just waiting for an answer first."

"Are you serious about this job?"

Kate sighed as she looked away for a moment. No need to lie to herself, and to her friend.

"I'm considering it, yes."

"And it didn't occur to you that this would have a huge impact on him? I mean... not only is he your boyfriend, he's also been your partner for five years."

"I just wanted to see what was out there first. What's wrong with that?"

"Okay... okay..." she said trying to calm her down. They needed to take one thing after the other if they wanted to make sense out of all this. "Do you have an answer?"

Kate quietly nodded, pensive. It would have been so much easier if she hadn't gotten the job.

"The job is mine if I want it."

"Does he know?"

"Yes. I'm just back from a talk I've had with him." Kate suddenly felt tears coming back when she thought about the way they had left things. "He... wants us to take some time apart to think. He told me to meet him next week to talk about all this again."

Lanie realized how serious the situation was and how much Castle had taken it to heart.

"May not be a bad idea, Kate..."

"I'm supposed to give them an answer tomorrow! And I have no idea what to tell them," she said almost in panic. "What am I supposed to do?" Kate noticed the look on Lanie's face. Lanie was concerned to see that her friend did not know what was more important to her. "I... I love him, Lanie. I care about him a lot. But this job... You know my career is also important to me. And this is a great opportunity. I became a cop because of what happened to my mother but now... It's done. I found who's responsible. So maybe it's time for me to move on, for good? You know what I mean?"

"I understand, Kate. You want bigger things for you career, I get that. It's not surprising coming from you. But... Do you know if he's willing to go with you?" she suggested.

After all it seemed like the best and most simple solution.

"He said he would have. But not anymore. That's what he told me. It doesn't make any sense! Now I've got no choice but to choose one or the other. It's either the job or Castle. It's not fair."

"A lot of things are not fair, sweetie. But... if I may," she said cautiously, not wanting to offend her friend. "Take a step back. You were already in this situation before, except you were in Castle's shoes. Sorenson broke up with you at the time to take a job in Boston. What did it feel like?" Kate was about to object but Lanie didn't give her time. "Don't tell me it's different because it's not. You used to complain about Josh putting his job first and not being there for you. Now you have found a man who's there for you... but you're walking away from him."

"I'm not walking away from him!"

"So he's just supposed to follow you?" Lanie asked nicely.

"No, that's not what I said. And he won't anyway! That's not even the point anymore. He said he doesn't want to go back to those kinds of relationships, full with lies... because he's been there with his marriages and other relationships."

"He's been hurt before, Kate. It's understandable. The guy went through two marriages that failed so maybe he needs time, maybe he's not sure where this relationship is going and that's why he wants a pause."

"Oh no, apparently he knows where he wants to go..." she said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lanie was trying to decipher her tone.

Kate was shaking her head not understanding what had been happening between them for the last couple of weeks.

"A couple of weeks ago, when I asked him straight in the eyes where he thought we were going, he didn't answer. And today he tells me he's happy this argument is happening now... and not years from now when, quote, we're married and have kids, unquote."

"Oh my..." Lanie said her eyes wide open. "You, Kate Beckett,... have found a man who's ready for commitment, who's thinking long-term relationship, and let me tell you this ain't easy to find, and you're doubting whether you should choose him or a job..."

"So, what? I'm just supposed to do what he wants?"

"That's not what I said." Kate sighed strongly. "You used to do things on your own. You've always made decisions depending on you, and you alone. This is not a criticism. You did this because it was your life and that it was up to you to choose your path, what you wanted and what you did not want. This is a big change for you. You need to take into consideration what he needs, what he wants. That doesn't mean you need to accept and agree with everything he says and asks. But you need to take his opinion into consideration, you need to build this together. Because you're not alone anymore."

"You sound just like him," she noted.

Lanie had just used the exact same words. You're not alone anymore. In other circumstances this would be a positive, comforting assertion.

"From now on, the decisions you make have an impact on somebody else too, not just on you," she continued.

"You think I should decline the offer and stay here with him," Kate deduced.

"I know that if I were in your shoes, that's what I would do. If I had found a man who was devoted like that, willing to risk his life for mine, I would choose him." Kate let her head fall backward on the couch, staring at the ceiling and sighed strongly. "Some people work to live and don't live to work. Others, on the other hand..." she said letting Kate figure out the rest. "Which side are you? Is your job what dictates your life-"

"That's not fair, Lanie. You can't blame me for wanting to evolve professionally."

"I don't blame you for that. It's your right and sometimes we need to evolve. I'm just saying that now may not be the time for that. You are in a rather new, important, relationship. At a critical point. You should tackle one thing at the time. Who says that once you two are settled and have a stable relationship, another offer won't come your way?"

"I don't even know if he'd take me back... What if I decline the offer and he breaks up with me next week? I find myself losing everything."

"Jeez, you two make things more complicated than they should be," Lanie sighed.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked looking back at Lanie.

"When we look at you two, it's obvious you are meant for each other. It's obvious you can't stay away from each other very long. And yet... you always find ways to complicate things. You've kept secrets from each other that almost destroyed you, before you even were together. You may not want to go down this road again."

"You're not helping, Lanie," she said frustrated to hear about this again.

"I'm your friend. I'm not supposed to tell you what you want to hear, sweetie. I'm telling you what I think. What I believe is true. And truth can hurt. Just like lies do... You lied to him for a year pretending not to have heard him tell you he loved you. How is he supposed to feel like when you lie to him again? Again about something as important as this?"

"He lied to me too-"

"I know! You're not a saint, he's not either. You both lied to each other. We agree on that. But let me ask you this. Look back at the past year and tell me... have you ever been happier in your life? Because from as long as I've known you, I don't reckon you have."

To be continued...

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