(A/N) Major thanks to all who read, reviewed, favorited, followed, etc. Chapter one. Feedback fuels self-improvement, and I am very grateful for it :)
The conversation with Mike only revived my anxiety. I tried to take it in stride, even as I passed the living room and spotted Donnie lying uncharacteristically unconscious on the couch. Fighting instinct, I sighed and let the genius be. There was very little help I could offer that at the moment. I approached the dojo and rested my hand on the door.
The lair was awfully quiet, despite three of us being out of bed. The silence should make for deeper meditation. Once inside and cross-legged, I began to slip into a familiar trance. Thoughts faded with each mantra, replaced with raw emotions. As my subconscious exposed more qualia, I felt a nuance.
Curious and concerned, I attempted to align my focus with it, but it was evasive and uncertain. Irritated, it sifted back and passed through the dark barrier beyond my mental range, disappearing. Counting breaths to stabilize myself, I recounted and pondered.
It wasn't until later that I realized how much, as a family, we gravitate towards solving each others' problems.
The smell of eggs from the kitchen tethered me back to reality. Stretching in my hammock, I released a terrific yawn before I slid out of recline, feet touching stone. I started pulling my gear on, knowing Leo was probably going to call for training soon, although I wasn't sure how up for it everybody would be, considering what went down yesterday. My stomach's complains pushed me out the door and towards the kitchen.
He better have left some for me.
I located Mikey hunched over the sink, whistling and scrubbing, and cursed inwardly. But still, I'd never pass up the opportunity to take the trickster by surprise, and so I leveled myself with the ground and inched closer.
As he reached for the hand-towel, I snaked my arm around him and casually adjusted the water temperature. He yelped and I sniggered, sliding backwards to dodge his punch. He feigned a look of betrayal, making my eyes roll. Turning towards the cabinet, I located the bread and, removing a few slices, looked back at Mike, who had resumed cleaning.
"Hey, how's Don been holding up?"
"I'm not sure. He was pounding on something earlier, and Leo found him passed out on the couch. He says we should just give him some time, wait for him to come to us."
That's just what I expected from Leo, although it was probably killing him inside. I feel like I understand the genius more than any of my brothers, although I couldn't be certain. After depositing my bread in the toaster, I walked to his lab, passing him on the couch en route.
I flicked a switch to provide some light. His blueprints and plans were covered in desperate scribbles and markings. I sighed and left, taking his cup of now-tepid coffee back to the kitchen with me. I was putting it in the microwave when my toast sprang up.
"Well?" Mike asked.
"Well what?"
"Did you find anything?" he persisted, leaning to one side of me.
"No Mikey. He just… he thinks…"
He waited patiently.
"I don't know, I really don't," I resigned.
Unsatisfied, he returned his pan and plate to the proper cabinets.
"We'll have to see how he is during training," Leo interjected, strolling into the kitchen, giving me a nod of acknowledgment, which I returned.
"You're not…" Mikey started.
"Of course. Last night proved how much we all need to improve. Finish eating and we'll start. Mike, can you go wake Don?"
"No need," came his voice from the entrance of the kitchen.
He offered a transparent smile, but his eyes reflected something else; something darker. It was something I knew all too well.
"You're not…"
"Of course. Last night proved how much we all need to improve."
The overheard words carried with them an unintentional but searing pain. I stood and ghosted towards their voices. I felt detached, not only from myself but from them.
"Mike, can you go wake Don?"
Exhaling, I stepped forward and pretended to be okay.
"No need," I spoke up nonchalantly, my lips arching upward, tugging back against my real feelings.
All eyes fell on me. I scanned their expressions for feedback. Raph was surprised; they all were, but his face showed something more, some recognition beyond general acknowledgment. I decided to ignore it, they weren't happy with me. How could they be? I wasn't happy with myself. It was like I'd just intruded on something, and they were all unsure of my presence. Whatever.
"Hey, you're up. We were just talking about you," Leo offered warmly, obviously trying to be delicate.
They weren't letting me down hard, although internally, I was screaming for them to get it over with.
"Yeah," I answered passively.
They exchanged glances and we made our way to the dojo. During the process, Raph's arm draped across my shoulders. It felt so false and scripted, but, despite wanting to throw him from me and run ahead, I suppressed my impulses.
I'm not myself lately. I never was.
I think he picked up on something, because he brought it down when we entered the papyrus room.
They'll welcome me back eventually, but it'll all be pointless. It already is.
Saying that Don was affected by last night would be a major understatement. It was clear in his posture and in the way he spoke that he was devastated. As much as I wanted to say something, to comfort him, Leo's words rang in my head.
He'll be alright, just give it some time. It usually takes him a while to get over things like this.
Still, I met his blank stare with a worried look and a gently smile before heading to my room to retrieve my gear. I fastened the leather straps and delicately removed my weapons from their place on my wall, giving them a tentative twirl. I smiled. Leo was right, Don would be alright. It would just… take some time.
I began walking back towards the Dojo, a little more spring in my step and spirit in my eyes.
But that doesn't mean we can't help him out a little.