Chapter 2
Neal couldn't believe it. He couldn't comprehend who was staring back at him.
"Hey Neal! Forget about me?"
The likeness was so familiar. Everything was as he had remembered him. The way he dressed, the way he looked. But the presence of the man alarmed him. It could've been so many people and it had to be him.
"Come on. It's me! Nick. Nick Halden!"
Nick Halden… Neal could not help but laugh. Out of despair more than anything. It had only been one day in solitary and he was already going crazy. It didn't take long. And who else but his alias? He could've imagined something else in his cell, anyone else. Anyone could've been better than this, even Wilkes!
Neal realised how frail his mind had become. The talented mind that conned his way through all the safes of the world's most secure banks, the same mind that evaded capture from Peter for several years. Now the same mind that had come so close to ending it all, the same mind that was playing tricks on him. How could Neal trust his mind ever again?
"Come on. Smile. At least you won't be spending the next few months alone." Nick quipped.
At least he wouldn't be alone… Nick had always been so much more positive and wittier than Neal. His first identity was one that Neal was not likely to forget fast, and playing a role, Neal liked the freedom that it gave him to cure the imperfections that he felt he had. In his mind, Kate didn't fall in love with him; she fell in love with Nick. That's why it had been so hard to reveal his secret to Kate. Not just the secret that he was a conman, but that he couldn't hide behind another identity again, that maybe Kate wouldn't love him for his real self. He'd never let anyone else in before, too afraid that they wouldn't like him for who he was.
"You know, it's not nice to treat guests this way… thinking about their girl… Yeah, don't forget, I know exactly what you're thinking." The pitfalls of having a conversation with yourself.
"You're not real!" He shouted, believing that Nick would suddenly disappear.
"Haha. You can't get rid of me that easy. We're in this together. Always have been. Always will be!" Nick taunted.
Hopeless. Totally hopeless.
Neal spent the next few hours trying to ignore Nick, he was just always in the background, always talking, going on and on about how ignoring him wouldn't help. The moment the door opened for Neal to enter the exercise yard felt like salvation for Neal. The ability to escape the cell, to escape himself just for 30 minutes had been a welcome prospect. Nick wouldn't follow him there; he cared too much about Neal's wellbeing.
WCWCWCWC
WCWCWCWC
A few minutes into Neal's calming walk around the exercise yard, a guard approached him. Neal kept his head down, he didn't need any more trouble.
"So you're Neal Caffrey?" The guard sounded surprisingly friendly.
"Uh, yeah. And you?"
"Just call me George. How are you handling solitary? Crazy yet?"
"No." Neal replied falsely. Neal didn't want to answer truthfully. It wasn't the possibility that this was an undercover guard, but the reality of admitting that he was talking to a figment of his imagination, admitting that Nick was there in his cell with him.
George however knew exactly what was going on.
"Don't worry. It happens to everyone. I see and hear people talking to themselves out here all the time. You've just got to stay strong, make sure you remember the difference between what's real and what's not."
"Easier said than done."
"Don't worry. I'll help you out. I hear you're good with words."
"Words?" Neal was cautious, especially knowing that he had turned most of the prison system against himself with his antics.
"Well, my anniversary is coming up, and well, I'm not the most romantic guy out there. And you broke out of prison, just for your girlfriend. Keep this quiet but I do admire your actions."
"Well, thanks… I think. But what do I get out of this?"
"I can't get you out of prison earlier if that's what you're insinuating. But I can get you leniency, or do you some favours if you need it. Quid pro quo."
"I'll see what I can do." Neal was playing it cool but inside, he was overjoyed at finally having something to do. Actually having something to do in solitary!
"Good good. I'll get you the stuff you need."
The other guards began signalling that Neal's time was over. Neal flashed a smile back to George, as he entered the compound once again. At least someone in here was on his side, even if it was just for a little help.
WCWCWCWC
WCWCWCWC
There was an overwhelming sense of dread that Neal felt as the door slammed shut and he was back in the confines of the cell, and back to the ramblings of Nick.
"Well if it isn't the infamous Neal Caffrey."
Neal's heart started to race. The voice was not familiar, not one of his alter egos. It was strangely familiar however and as Neal's eyes landed on the man's face, the colour ran from his face.
"Remember me?" The guard. The guard from the hostage incident.
"Well, thanks to you, I've been placed on leave. You've destroyed my life. So I'm going to destroy yours."
Neal just stood still there, frozen like a deer in the headlights. There was no way to escape this situation without adding to his prison sentence. Lose-lose situation. He didn't like where this was heading.
"Please. I have absolutely nothing."
"Do you even remember what you did to me? You got off easy! That damn Burke came to your rescue! No I'm here to make you pay!" The guard was beyond angry, his voice raised in anger.
The guard had now grabbed Neal by the shoulders, pushing him back against the wall. He smiled, finding great joy from the fear in Neal's blue eyes. There was a great anger in the guard's eyes. A punch to the stomach elicited a loud scream from Neal, as he bent over from the blow. He tried to fight back but the pain was overwhelming. It was just like replaying the previous few weeks with Wilkes – Neal couldn't wait until he blacked out, for it to be over.
Suddenly, the doors started grinding open.
"What's going on here?" It was George. After hearing the commotion of the exchange, it wasn't long until a number of guards had surrounded Neal's cell, some of them smiling in delight.
George pushed the threatening guard away from Neal, as Neal himself doubled-over onto the ground.
"You won't always be so lucky Caffrey. When you least expect it…" the guard said to Neal as he turned to leave the room. "I hope you have nightmares about me… just like I do about you." Despite the pain, Neal had heard him loud and clear. He tried to maintain his composure, to show them that he didn't crack underneath the pressure.
"You ok, Neal?" George asked, giving him a hand to pull himself up from the ground.
"Yeah…" Even though they had barely known each other for less than an hour, they had their own level of understanding between them.
"Head up. I'll make sure he won't bother you anymore." George smiled reassuringly.
Neal nodded back.
"Oh, what I originally came to do was give you paper and pens and to say that my girlfriend's name is Joanne. You know, it might be important." George joked.
Neal laughed.
For a few moments, Neal felt normal again. It had been so long since he had felt normal.
WCWCWCWC
WCWCWCWC
Despite George's reassurances, Neal couldn't think about the other guard's threats. Who knew what could've happened if someone hadn't been there to save him in time. And who knew how many other guards were in on his plan. He didn't feel safe at all. No one would find him until it was too late.
Every time Neal drifted off to sleep, he'd see himself being grabbed by the guard, shaken by his shoulders, being hit over and over. It just never stopped. He had no fight, he couldn't even find the energy to move. He woke, sweat drenching his clothes. This was a fear that Neal had never felt before.
Nick appeared in his moment of desperation.
"You know we can break out from this place?" said Nick.
Neal normally wouldn't listen, but now he didn't care whether Nick was real or fake, he just wanted to find a way out.
"It's impossible." Neal replied disheartened. He had examined all his options in the first few minutes that he entered the cell, and short of digging a hole in the wall with his fingers, which would take a million years; there were no options whatsoever.
"Not if you know how."
"If I don't know, how do you?" It was a good question.
"You know it. You just didn't want to see it. Until now." Nick raised a sly smile. "You just need to write a letter."
"To who?"
"Peter."
Peter. Was Neal really willing to get Peter trapped in another web of his lies? The thought of deceiving Peter another time, once a prospect he loved when they were playing the cat and mouse game, but now, now Peter had proved himself as his friend, someone he could trust. He had caused too much trouble in Peter's life already, especially after the whole hostage incident. He had pushed the boundary of the friendship too much before, precisely why Neal ended up in this situation.
But the thought of attempting to survive another 10 or so months in solitary, that was enough. No matter what collateral damage there was with Peter, he'd rather keep his body and mind intact.
With a shaky hand, Neal put pen to paper but realised that he couldn't find the words. He was caught up in all the emotion of the moment.
Neal pushed on, knowing the end goal.
Freedom.
Sorry for the really really long wait for this chapter. Being busy and then writer's block does not make for easy writing. But I hope that you enjoyed it!
I really hope that you stay along for the ride! I'm striving to update every week since I now know where this story is going.
Thank you for the nice reviews so far, they really motivated me to write! :D