Wander hummed to himself softly as he straightened out the blonde wig on his head.

"You're seriously still doing this? Hater's in charge of this planet, you know." Sylvia asked absently as she flipped through a magazine.

"Yes, I am." The orange alien answered as he slipped on a white dress, covering it with a powder blue cardigan. "I promised Andy I'd help her with her invention, and she wants to test it for at least a week before she introduces it at that convention. So Hater or no Hater, I'm gonna keep my promise!" After putting on his hat and a pair of flats, Wander slipped on the necklace. "So, how do I look?"

His friend glanced up at him briefly. "Like your mom if she was a brighter shade of orange," Sylvia answered as she turned back to her magazine.

Wander giggled. "Oh? Would Mother mix us up?"

"I think Ana can differentiate between her wife and her son, Wander." The Zbornak replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Wander just smiled. "Well, I'm off! Don't wait up!"

"Sir, we have a message coming from-!" Peepers was barely in the door before he had to duck, narrowly avoiding being hit by a green bolt of energy.

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO COME IN HERE WITHOUT KNOCKING!" Hater bellowed, glaring at his subordinate with the fury of a thousand suns.

"S-Sorry, sir! Won't happen again, sir-!" Peepers blinked. "What are you doing?"

Hater flushed, hiding his guitar behind his back as unobtrusively as possible. "N-Nothing."

"Why are you wearing casual clothes?"

"B-Because I felt like it!"

"... This doesn't have anything to do with that girl yesterday, does it?"

Hater blinked. "H-How did you-?!"

"Sir, the doors were glass. I saw her too." Peepers folded his arms. "Is she the reason that we're still on this planet?"

"I... uh..." Hater blinked, then glared at his commander. "Waaait, why am I explaining myself to you?" He shot off another bolt. "GET OUT!"

With a yelp, the monocular alien ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The skeletal conqueror sighed, pulling his guitar out from behind him, strumming the strings softly.

"I should tell you, I should tell you, I should tell you, I should tell you that I... I..." Hater grimaced, putting the guitar down and covering his face with a gloved hand. "Ugh..."

The overlord stood, pulling the hood of his jacket over his skull.

"I need some air."

"Hey, Toots! Nice legs!"

Wander faked a shaky smile, pulling the brim of his hat over his face.

The cat calls were getting more and more... inappropriate, making him more and more uncomfortable.

What would Sylvia do in this situation?

Punch the guy in the face and call 'em a scuzzmonkey!

Okay, so Sylvia wasn't the best role model in this situation. Mom?

Kick 'em in the nads!

Not Mom. Mother?

The man obviously has issues with respect. I would suggest asking him about his relationship with his-

Wander wasn't a psychiatrist. Corsair?

Well-

Nope, just... not going there.

Meander?

Just keep walking.

Good.

So that's what Wander did.

It... turned out not to be the best idea, as Wander soon found his path blocked by a giant of a man.

"U-Um..." Wander stuttered, not looking up. "C-Can I help y-you?"

The man grinned, reaching down and tilting Wander's chin up so that he was forced to look the man in the eyes.

"Well, I was just thinking that I'd love to take a pretty girl out to lunch, and don't cha know it, there you were!"

Wander giggled anxiously. "Y... Ya don't say..." He murmured, trying to back away as unobtrusively as possible.

"I do say. So, what do you say? There's a sweet little bistro just down the street."

The nomad swallowed nervously. "L-Listen, I'm sure that you're a great guy, but... I have a boyfriend." He lied, looking at the ground.

"Sure you do. What kind of guy would let a girl as pretty as you out of his sight?"

Punching this guy in this face was starting to sound more and more appealing. "The kind that considers his girlfriend to be a person instead of property!" Wander replied indignantly, noting that he was really starting to sound like his mom at this point.

The guy snorted rolling his eyes. "Right. Listen, babe, unless your man comes walking down the street in the next minute, I don't see any reason that you should be saying no to me."

Wander glared at him, then glanced behind the guy, his eyes widening as an idea came to him.

I sure hope he doesn't hate me for this.

"Even though the fact that I'm saying 'no' should be enough for you, it doesn't really matter, because my boyfriend happens to be coming this way." Wander said with a smirk, running around him and waving. "Hater, honey! Over here!"

The skeleton looked over at her, confused (and more than a little flustered). "Wha...?"

The nomad ran over to him, pulling his face down and pecking him near his mouth.

"He won't leave me alone; pretend you're my boyfriend for a minute, kay?" Wander whispered to him quickly.

Despite his extremely flustered state, the overlord managed to understand. "O-Oh, um, sure," he whispered back. He straightened, glaring at his fake girlfriend's harasser. "Hey! Are you deaf, pal?! She told you she's not interested!"

The other guy held up his hands, the realization of just how bad his situation currently was seeming to just now be dawning on him. "H-Hey, man, I didn't think that she was telling the truth about having a guy!"

"That doesn't make your harassment any less disgusting!" Hater growled lowly, taking a step towards the other man. "No means no, regardless of any factor!"

The man gulped, and with a half-squeaked "Sorry!" he ran off.

Wander sighed, visibly relaxing. "Thanks, Hater. Sorry I had to drag you into that."

"O-Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it..." He replied, grinning weakly. Any feeling of power or anger that Hater had had drained out of him, replaced by a nervous energy and his brain reminding him that 'Hope' was very, very pretty.

Wander smiled kindly at him, trying to suppress the feeling of guilt at deceiving Hater in his gut. "No, really, thanks- oof!" The tiny nomad was nearly knocked off of his feet when someone backed into him.

"Hey!" Hater shouted. "Watch where you're going, buddy!"

The worker who had accidently bumped Wander turned to the overlord, paling and dropping the box he was carrying to salute. "L-Lord Hater, s-sir! I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going!"

The overlord's gaze remained stony. "It's fine, just don't let it happen again."

"Y-Yes, sir!"

"What's all this, anyway?" Wander asked, peering around the man. "There's a lot of you guys, actually."

The worker sighed. "Every year, this town has a festival to our patron goddess, Vesta, to celebrate the harvest. But since our government got overthrown, we aren't allowed to have it."

Wander's face fell. "Oh, that's too bad... I would've really liked to have seen that, it sound pretty neat!"

Hater suddenly had an idea. "W-Well, I don't see why we can't still do that!"

Wander's face lit up, and he whirled around to face Hater. "Really?! You'd let them throw the festival?!"

Hater cleared his throat nervously. "I... If it really means that much to y- them. B-But, um, I'll only let it happen on one condition."

Wander frowned. "What?"

The overlord flushed, looking away. "Y... You have to agree to go with me."

The nomad stared at him for a minute, then grinned hugely. "Okay!"

"W-Wait, seriously?!" Hater asked incredulously, staring at 'her' with wide eyes.

"Yeah! I mean, you did help me out earlier, and besides, the festival sounds like a lot of fun!" The nomad turned, waving as 'she' ran down the street. "I'll meet you at the park across the street! Tomorrow at five?"

"That... tomorrow at five is great!" Hater called back, still in disbelief.

"Great! See you then!" Wander called as he finally disappeared from sight. He stopped after a few minutes, staring ahead.

"Oh, no."

Meanwhile, Hater stared after 'her', not believing his luck.

One of the workers cleared his throat. "So, uh, is she your girlfriend?"

Hater glared at him. "D-D... Don't you morons have a festival to set up?!"