Chapter 2 1/2
by kiana unei
I'd just put the first chapter up for a joke, but since you liked it, here's more. Different day.
Harry and his world belong to J K Rowling.
icu2: sup
Wooober: sup
icu2: what's hapnin
Wooober: nothin much. U?
icu2: nothin much.
Wooober: dude.
icu2: totally.
(Bobthebob has entered the chat room)
icu2: sup Bob
Wooober: sup B. What's up?
Bobthebob: nothin much. U?
icu2: nothin much.
Wooober: dude.
icu2: totally.
(HPiscool has entered the chat room)
icu2: sup HPiscool
Wooober: sup HP
Bobthebob: sup H. What's hapnin?
HPiscool: nothin much
icu2: dude.
Wooober: totally.
(Snuffles has entred the chat room)
icu2: sup Snuffles
Woober: sup Snuffle
Bobthebob: sup Snuff
HPiscool: sup S. What's hapnin?
Snuffles: do you people do this every time someone comes on?
icu2: .......
Wooober: uh, yea
Bobthebob: HPiscool, what does HP mean?
HPiscool: Harry Potter.
icu2: dude, Harry Potter's gay.
Snuffles: he is?
icu2: yea.
Wooober: totally.
HPiscool: is not!
Bobthebob: is too!
HPiscool: is not!
Snuffles: SHUT IT!
Snuffles: thank you!
Snuffles: now, I don't see that this is any of your buisness!
icu2: dude, Harry potter stupid.
Wooober: totally
Snuffles: HE IS NOT!!
HPiscool: yea! Harry's the best!
Bobthebob: One day I read PoA fifty times, and the next day the wart on my little finger was GONE.
icu2: ur weird.
icu2: U read poa 50 times in 1 day?
Bobthebob: yeah! Harry rocks! Ron rocks! Hermione's the best! Sirius Black is stupid!
Snuffles: HEY!!
HPiscool: R U sure U read all of poa?
Bobthebob: well, the pages are torn out starting from page 9.
Wooober: UR stupid.
(I_say has entred the chat room)
Bobthebob: sup I say
icu2: sup I S
Woober: sup I
HPiscool: what's hapnin?
I_say: nothing much.
I_say: hello
I_say: CANNONS RULE, BUT U DONT NO WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, CAUSE YOUR STUPID MUGGLES!!!
HPiscool: not true!
Snuffles: lemme guess . . . Ron?
I_say: o sorry. Snufles? were are yuo?
Snuffles: I am not going to tell that to you over a public communications port.
I_say: okay.
HPiscool: O i get it UR pretending to be thecaracters me 2 ill be harry.
icu2: u guys r stupid.
icu2: anybody here from new zeland?
Wooober: no
Bobthebob: no
HPiscool: no
I_say: n
Snuffles: nyet.
HPiscool: so, snuff, how u doing?
Snuffles: fine.
HPiscool: good. the dursleys r stupid i wish ud come over and kick their @&&s.
Wooober: u guys r dumb.
(Wooober has left the chat room)
icu2: totally.
(icu2 has left the chat room)
(Bobthebob has left the chat room)
Snuffles: Dursleys? Harry?
HPiscool: yah?
Snuffles: why is your name 'harry potter is cool'?
I_say: hahah.
(HPiscool has left the chat room)
(HPiscool has rentered the chat room as harrypotter995)
harrypotter995: hi.
I_say: hi harry how r u?
harrypotter995: fine. Sirus i dont want to live with the dursleys arnymore
Snuffles: I don't blame you.
I_say: is dudy still fat?
harrypotter995: yup. he ate his smelting's stick yesterday.
I_say: eww!
Snuffles: WHY?
(ididntdoit has entered the chat room)
ididntdoit: hi chaps whats new?
I_say: hi. noting.
Snuffles: i didn't do it, either. what didn't you do?
harrypotter995: hi we're playing hp wanna play?
ididntdoit: sure! i like pretendingt o be other oeople. I'll be sirus!
Snuffles: . . .what?
harrypotter995: cool!
harrypotter995: oops i mean . . . cor! ......i think......
ididntdoit: hi harry where are you?
harrypotter995: at the dursleys i don't like them.
I_say: fred n george told mum yesterday that they wanna b just like u when they grow up, Sirius
ididntdoit: im trying tyo send u an owl harry but i forgot what ur adress is.
Snuffles: did she scream?
harrypotter995: #4 private drive, little winging, surrey
ididntdoit: thanks!
Snuffles: don't give strangers pretending to be me your adress!
I_say: yup. really loudly, 2.
ididntdoit: 'pretending to be me'? what r u talking about . . ?
harrypotter995: he's not a stranger snuffles, he's my fodgather!
Snuffles: your what? ...no, harry, he's NOT your godfather, I am!
ididntdoit: hay! im being sirus right now! u can be him later!
Snuffles: you're not understanding me. I am, in real life, Sirius Antony Black, escaped convict, wrongfully accused man, and Harry's godfather.
I_say: Antony and Cleopatra!
harrypotter995: antony's a stupid name. it should be sirius lee black.
Snuffles: thankfully, mum was kinder than that. And who'r you calling stupid? I had to talk James out of nameing you Holden McGroyn Potter. Seems he thought it funny.
ididntdoit: ....howd you know about that . . .? R U really sirus?
Snuffles: YES! It learns! And my name is "Sirius". NOT "Sirus".
ididntdoit: uhoh . . .
Snuffles: 'uhoh' what? 'Uhoh . . . it's Sirius Black, the infamous convict'?
ididntdoit: er . . . . hi, sirus . . . you're not still mad at me, are you? I mean
Snuffles: "Sirius"!!!
ididntdoit: we're both adults, and so fourth, so we can put our differeances behind us, right, Padfoot? Huh? Right?
Snuffles: .......how do you know my nickname? the only people alive who would call me that are Remus, .............................and it.
ididntdoit: hey! I'm male, you [oophead!
Snuffles: DIIIIIIIIIIIIE TRATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ididntdoit: can't get me over the net! hahahashahahahahaha!!!!
I_say: just a tic, ill brb.
ididntdoit: what?
Snuffles: YOU DID TOO DO IT YOU LYING SOB!@!!!!
ididntdoit: why does everybody always talk in codes?! BYOB, ASAP, AKA, BRB, SOB- even the Muggles have codes! NASA, BBS, ID . . . its' not fair. 'I' don't have a code.
(Bogieface has entered the chat room)
Bogieface: SIRIUS!! "Bogieface"?! Thanks a lot! Next time I'm going to enter you in as "Dog Breath"!
Snuffles: Sorry, Bogieface.
Snuffles: that's becvause your too styupid, Peter!!!!!!!!!!! When I get my halnd you on ilyyhy kat oyljhao8uthnfvlu lazlij e !!!!!!!!!!!!
ididntdoit: see? even YOU have a code!
Bogieface: no; he tried to strangle the keyboard. Sirius, what ARE you doing? Oops, the computer I've got has automatic dictation. It writes what ever I say.
Bogieface: Oh, well. Sirius, stop it!
harrypotter995: what's he doing?
Bogieface: Oh, hi, Harry. Your godfather is smashing his poor keyboard with a spanner, cursing at Wormtail. Abnormal behaviour, even for him.
Bogieface: No, YOU shut it, Sirius, and leave that thing alone!
ididntdoit: bogieface, do i know you?
Snuffles: yea, you know im. e's Reus Lupin.
Snuffles: ey! Te is't working!
Bogieface: Beg pardon?
Bogieface: Oh. Well, you WERE slamming the poor board with a spanner, so....
ididntdoit: huh?
Bogieface: I refuse to speak to you, murderer, but- well, Harry, it seems as though your godfather has broken his keyboard. It won't type "h" or "m". Sirius, go through the keys to see which, exactly, won't comply.
Snuffles: a c d e f g Eric te alf-a- ee. i k l n o p q r stuvwzyz
Snuffles: , , , and won't work.
Bogieface: "b, h, j, and m".
ididntdoit: haha.
(cannonsrking has entered the chat room)
cannonsrking: My team, you are thee
cannonsrking: I hate the embassy 'cause they can't see
cannonsrking: they think you made a foul- how'd they like to be fat cows?
cannonsrking: Cannons are King.
Snuffles: Let e guess- you wrote tat.
cannonsrking: yup! 2the tune of godsavethe queen!
cannonsrking: They'r simpley the best!
cannonsrking: defeating all the rest!
Snuffles: now you'r ust eing a pest, 'cause you tink
cannonsrking: Cannons are King!
cannonsrking: oh, yeah? well what's your team then?
ididntdoit: You like the Cannons? Me too!
Bogieface: figures.
Snuffles: God, RAT, are you still ere?
cannonsrking: hey! hay! leave ididntdoit alone, dogface! Cannons are KING!
Bogieface: As you repeated many times in your little song.
Snuffles: O don't you DARE stand up for tat disgusting TING!!!
cannonsrking: just because he likes the Cannons?!!
(ieatthereforeiam has entered the chat room)
Snuffles: No, ecause e's te RAT!!!!!!!!! And cannons stink!
ididntdoit: no, YOU stink! Leave cannonsrking alone!!!!
Snuffles: ey! it isn't Y fault I aven't een ale to take a sower for 15 years!!!
cannonsrking: u havent taken a SHOWER in 15 YEARS!?!?!?!?
Bogieface: Ewww! Sirius!! Go take one RIGHT NOW!!!!
Bogieface: NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!
(Snuffles has left the chat room)
ieatthereforeiam: Snuffles? Ron? Hi!
Bogieface: Who are you?
ieatthereforeiam: Harry!
ididntdoit: but . . . harry's already here.
harrypotter995: yeah, man, I'M being harry right now!
ieatthereforeiam: Okay, first, I would NOT have my name as my screen name. it would be a target for death eaters.
cannonsrking: good point. harrypotter995, get otta here! you aren't harry!
harrypotter995: u guys r mean!
(harrypotter995 has left the chat room)
ididntdoit: that wasn't very nice!
Bogieface: Look who's talking!
cannonsrking: Harry, what's wrong with your name?
ieatthereforeiam: It's Dudley's password. I'm using his computer. 'I eat, therefore I am.' It suits him well.
Bogieface: DeCarte would drop dead if he knew what his bit of wisdom had turned into.
(i8rats has entered the chat room)
i8rats: ey! it's supposed to e "i 8rats"!
cannonsrking: u can't have a space between any letters.
ieatthereforeiam: eww. . .! Snuffles, don't remind me!
Bogieface: yes, Padfoot; I'd rather not know about any . . . delecassies you've sampled whilst on the run.
i8rats: No! No! Not "i8rats", "i 8rats"!!!
ieatthereforeiam: Ron's right though- you can't put any spaces.
i8rats: it's not a space- it's an
ididntdoit: ......that's a space.
i8rats: "I -space- ate -space- rats!" Not "I ate rats!"
cannonsrking: er.......
Bogieface: Oh! Padfoot, did you mean, "i Hate rats"?
i8rats: Yes! Tank you, oony!!
ididntdoit: that's not very nice.
i8rats: and enoyed the . You're next.
ieatthereforeiam: eugh!