Till kingdom come
A/N: I was completely blown away by the responses for the first chapter. You guys are absolutely amazing and your support helps. I'm really happy you like it. Many thanks to my beta Gemilh and AngelofLight for bouncing ideas with. Enjoy.
II.
"What the hell?!" Emma says in angry confusion.
Tan fingers touch her tingling lips. She shakes her head as tears fill her eyes. "We can't do this Emma. I'm married." The mayor stumbles back a little.
The moment the words leave Regina's lips she knew she would regret it. The burning hope that shined in Emma's eyes faded. She felt like she broke this woman's spirit and it left a horrible ache in her heart. Regina moves forward to touch the blonde but the woman flinches and takes a step back.
"Don't." the blonde warns pointing at her. "I want you and if you touch me…"her voice wavers as she moves another step back.
"It's not that simple Emma…we have responsibilities to our respected partners. I made a vow…" she presses her hand against her chest feeling her heart beat wildly underneath her skin.
"He is not my…" Emma starts to say in a broken whisper. "He's just someone there... I was lonely and he was so persistent but if I never gave him a shot…then… we would never…." She trails off to look at anything in the office other than the brunette's face that she knows will break her resolve.
"As much as I am delighted to hear that because truly I am. Him touching yo-… " she stops the sneer forming and takes a second to collect her thoughts. "Look Emma. Daniel… He's my husband."
"But you feel it don't you?" she turns looking into those chocolate eyes and steps closer placing her hands to cup Regina's cheek. "Please tell me I'm not making this up…" Tears fall from her eyes and Regina finds her simply beautiful.
Regina takes a sharp breath in and closes her eyes. "Yes…I feel it too." Brown eyes open up and shed a few tears. She looks deeply into sun burst green irises. Emma's eyes float up and down. Her breathing increases. The need to connect them again is so great. Slowly she pulls Regina forward and stops until their lips are millimeters away. Regina whimpers when Emma rubs the tip of her nose against Regina's "Does he make you feel like this?" Emma asks in a low sultry voice her eyes stare at the slit on the brunette's lip. She swallows thickly and licks her lips, their breathing picks up.
Regina's response is answered by cupping the back of Emma's head and pressing their lips together. There was no denying this. She felt like an addict and her drug was Emma Swan.
Two Months Later….
Affairs are chaotic and scary but also exhilarating. You lose yourself in carnal desires (and in this case just kissing and some heavy grinding). You feel reawaken by the attention of this new lover. Everything becomes thrilling and more vibrant. You discover things about yourself that was lost in the ether by routine. Sometimes you feel unappreciated and crave the attention but that is not what Regina was feeling. Daniel was the perfect husband. The perfect partner. The perfect friend. He looked at Regina like she was the very stars that shined every night. He talked to her about everything and anything. He encouraged her and supported her, he was attentive and just such a good person. Rarely did they fight. All he wanted was to make her happy but Regina wasn't happy because Daniel wasn't the blonde.
Emma changed something in her. Made her realize that she was empty; It baffled her and terrified her. A stranger walks into her life and disrupts everything and because she is trapped, because she has responsibilities it made her feel like a caged bird. The downside to an affair is the guilt, the lying and the betrayal that comes along. The moment the bliss wares off and reality hits and it breaks you.
Regina was taught at an early age that love is weakness. This was a constant lesson her mother drilled in to her conscious. In order to get ahead one's emotions must be put on the back burner. Regina became a woman of logic. Her mind created planned, rationalized things. The easy thing about Daniel was that she didn't have to feel with Daniel. Rationally he made sense. He never pulled this deep emotional response out of her. Which is why Emma was such a surprise, she pulled emotions out of her that she didn't think existed. She made her body react in ways that felt unnatural and Regina's body isn't in control, her mind is!
Regina started to go to sleep later than Daniel because she couldn't fall asleep in his arms. Everything about them felt wrong. The walls of their home were slowly suffocating her. She felt horrible when he would come home happy to see her but she would turn away not noticing the fall in his face. He knew something was wrong but he trusted in their relationship that Regina would tell him if something was wrong.
When you build a life with someone it becomes extremely difficult to walk away. The tangible pieces of yourself fade in to theirs.
Regina played the scenarios in her mind on how she could do it but she was bound by laws and obligation. She needed to be rational about the situation. You can't just throw your entire life away for a feeling. Her mother said that love is weakness and right now Emma was making her weak. Emotionally, physically and mentally weak; she couldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't function. Emma left and it was making her sick.
She wants Emma that's for certain but she doesn't want to leave Daniel. She couldn't hurt him like this. He did nothing wrong but is it selfish to stay with someone you don't love or is it selfish to hurt them to be with someone else, someone you feel like you can't survive without?
Regina laughs to herself because she knows absolutely nothing about the Blonde. She knows that she used to be a bounty hunter and that she is a cop for the Boston Police, she lives in Boston and that she's 26. She doesn't know anything important like her goals or dreams. What was her childhood like? What does she like for breakfast? Did she go to college? What makes her angry? Does she want children? Can she be trusted?
What are the probabilities of a successful relationship if it started out of lies and infidelity? What would her mother say? What would she do? There were so many possible outcomes if she leaves but she knows what would happen if she stayed.
She will wonder what if?
And that simple question. What if? It's so dangerous. What if I could be happier? What if this can be more? What if I stay and end up in a loveless miserable marriage? What if he isn't my ending? What if there is more to life than this? What if?
Emma created questions.
Daniel never made her question if she wanted something more and she doesn't know if it was because she was content or she didn't think that there was anything else to live for.
But she will know that the missing piece of herself was out there living without her. She was tired of settling. Tired of taking the easy road. She needed to know if Emma felt the same. Of course she knew that Emma felt the same and after what happened in her office. Emma left her card and walked out. Like she gave Regina a preview of happiness, a taste, a fucking tease, she left Regina's lips tingling with what she tasted like. A taste she couldn't get out of her mind.
Regina looked at that card every day for hours for the past 2 months, Sergeant Emma Swan. She was terrified that if she heard Emma's voice she would lose herself again. Regina was a woman of order and practicality, a woman of logic and rationality and everything about this situation wasn't her. She needed to know if it was still there. She needed to see Emma.
She needed to figure out what if…
This of course was a very bad idea.
"Hey darling how was the flight?"
"Not bad. I'm just pulling into the hotel."
"Ok I'm meeting with Neal later for dinner. He came back up here for the weekend. He sounded pretty messed up."
"I'm sorry to hear that…" The brunette says with a disinterested voice as she rolls her eyes.
"Stop being mean." He cuts her off laughing "I know you don't care about Neal."
"Indeed I will not deny that." That earns her a soft chuckle. "Please whatever mess you make please clean it up before I get home."
"I promise. This time we'll order out."
"Good."
There's silence for a second "hey get me a pair of cowboy boots."
"Please you couldn't pull off the look Daniel."
He chuckles some more "You're right. Just don't tan too much. I hear the sun is brutal in Texas this time of year. "
"I doubt I will have time. The resources summit will be during the day. I am not looking forward to being in the room with gray middle aged men…again."
"Hey it's the perks of being the Mayor."
"Did I mention I hate the governor?"
"haha. Yes all the time. Try to have fun love. Maybe go to the spa. You've seem down these past couple of weeks. I've missed you."
"Daniel…."
"No its ok. Sometimes we just need a break and I love you. Just be careful and come home to me."
"I have to go. I'm about to check in."
"Ok call me tonight. I love you."
"Me too." Regina quickly hangs up and places her phone in her purse. She looks both ways before crossing the street. She takes a deep breath gathering all her courage and walks into the prescient building.
The 38th prescient was loud and busy. Men and woman in uniforms walking around to business as usual, people in handcuffs being pulled in to back rooms. Regina walks up to the front desk. This old overweight man sits there. His breathing was heavy and rattling like Jabba's last moments before his death.
"Can I help you?" his voice was thick with a Boston accent.
"I am looking for Sergeant Emma Swan?"
"The sergeant?" his head turns to the side "Ey Mickie Where's Swan?!" he shouts and the brunette rolls her eyes, why is this man still in service?
"She's out on patrol with Meyers!" the man calls back.
The officer turns back to face the brunette. "She's out on patrol with Meyers." He says that like the woman understands.
"Do you know when she will return?" she asked with an annoyed tone.
"Nah. If ya want I'd take a message?" his breathing gets heavier as he moves to grab the pen.
"No that's quite alright I wouldn't want you to work any harder than you've become accustomed to." She says with a false smile. She quickly turns and walks out, the sounds of her heels clicking on the linoleum mixes with the sounds of phones ringing.
Regina walks back to her hotel. Ok so that wasn't successful. She thought by now they would meet and Regina would have the validation she needed to go back home to Daniel. She slips off her heels and pads over on the soft rug into the bathroom.
She'll take a bath, have some dinner and try again tomorrow.
Regina sinks in to the hot water, a sigh of relief escapes her lips. She feels the tension slowly escape her body. She finally has a moment to think about this…she lied to Daniel. She's in Boston. What would she even say to the blonde if they did meet? She made a snap decision and this is the first moment she is taking account of her actions. She is fucked. She wasn't thinking at all when she switched her ticket from Dallas to Boston. All she knew was she had an opportunity and she took it. The tension started to return as well as the anxious butterflies fluttering in her belly. Oh god. She sits up abruptly sending water slashing on the tiled floor.
She needs a drink. The mayor gets out of the tub and gets dressed. She puts on her red pencil skirt white silk blouse and black heels she arrived in, she didn't have any causal clothes because she was supposed to be at the resources summit. She closes' her eyes tightly. She seriously didn't plan this through.
Regina sits at the bar in the dive she found a few blocks down from her hotel. The bar in the hotel looked too sophisticated and she was not in the mood to be approached as a high end escort. She wanted something dark and grungy because she felt like her behavior was only reserved for those lurking in the darkness.
"What can I get ya?" the bartender asks as he wipes the bar down with a rag.
"Whiskey sour." Regina responds as she opens her wallet and places a twenty on the counter.
"Coming up." He takes the bill and returns with her change and drink.
She sips on her straw as she looks around the bar. It was dark but a decent size. Sports memorabilia riddled all along the walls. Flat screen TV's displaying whatever sport was in season. There were pool tables at the other end. It was pretty filled for a Thursday night not like Regina would know what a bar occupancy would normally be for a bar in down town Boston. She sighs as she knocks back the rest of her drink. She taps the bar asking for another. She grabs her purse and heads to the bathroom.
After she washes her hands she looks at herself in the mirror. What are you doing? She asks herself. This is the most spontaneous thing she has ever done. She rests her hands on the sink, taking slow deep breaths. This is crazy. She's going to finish her drink and head back to her hotel, sleep and leave. Coming to Boston was a bad idea. Two months passed and Emma was probably ready to marry Neal. She sneers at the thought but Emma wasn't hers and they weren't anything but why hasn't she allowed Daniel to touch her since the blonde left? She shakes her head and she steps back out. The room was filled with more people. She maneuvers her way back to her spot at the bar.
"It's been like over two months. I thought she would call." The voice makes Regina stop dead in her tracks. She looks around unable to notice the face with the voice that made her heart pound faster.
"You said she was married Em." Regina turns to the man's voice.
"I know and fuck I never should have kissed her but David…if you would see this woman. Like seriously. It's so wrong how beautiful she is." Emma's voice was soft but full of sadness that it made Regina's feet move closer to the voices. Whatever Emma was feeling, she wanted to alleviate it.
"You know I was completely thrown off when you said you broke up with that Neal guy because you met a girl at his father's wedding. Talk about an ego crusher." The dark blonde hair man next to her laughs.
"I never meant to hurt him and I was starting to think that maybe he would be enough you know? But the moment I saw her. I knew." Regina watches Emma take a shot back. "I knew that I had to talk to her, make her smile. Like something was pulling me beyond myself and I couldn't control it. I didn't even know I was attracted to women!" she says exasperatedly.
"Hey it's ok" David places a supportive hand on her shoulder. "Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants, that's how I felt for Mary Margaret." Emma's partner smiles at the blonde.
"But she didn't call me." The blonde pouts at her friend.
"Emma I bet it wasn't simple for her. She's married. She has a life with someone. Neal was just a boyfriend and from what you told me not that serious, you guys didn't have things together. They have a life together." He tries to reason with the blonde. She gives him a look and he shuts up.
"I guess it was for the best." She says in defeat as she lifts the bottle to her lips.
Here is your moment idiot. This is what you wanted. You have the validation you need now walk away! Regina's mind yells at her but her feet are cemented to the ground. She found her. Emma the beautiful blonde is sitting a few feet away from her. Her back was turned she wore that black leather jacket that was burned into her memory. The long blonde hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She looked so sexy from behind. Fuck. Turn away! She will never know!
At the moment her mind finally gains control with her motor functions the blonde turn her head.
Regina wanted to laugh at Emma's double take. It was a bit comical. Their eyes meet and it feels like the room silences to nothing. The only sounds are of heavy breathing and pounding hearts.
"Regina…." The blonde whispers
Yeah. This was a very bad idea.
"Governor White speaking."
"Hello dearest how are you this evening?"
"I'm doing very well. Got into Dallas a few hours ago."
"How's the weather?"
"Hot as hell."
"I can only imagine… have you seen my daughter yet?"
"No I have not but usually I see her before the meeting starts, so that will be tomorrow morning, Why?"
"No reason. I'm just wondering. She hasn't called me yet."
"Cora…we all know that your daughter doesn't like you. So why do you expect her to call you?" the man laughs at his own humor
"Yes. Well. I wish she would just learn that all I did was because I wanted what was best for her…"
"Like making her marry my nephew was what was best for her?"
"Daniel was a necessary evil. She went to college and thought she can continue with that Art nonsense. I was losing her and she needed someone to waste her excess energy on. He was the right choice and I didn't make her, she said yes."
"Manipulation is a form of control you know?"
"My daughter is a smart woman but she was always weak at heart. She just needs some guidance."
"Sure sure. Cora hold on." The phone shifts as the voices become muffled "Hello Cora. Steve just informed me that Regina's plane landed but your daughter was not on the plane."
"Oh really?" she says intrigued
"Do you want me to look into it?"
"No dear, thank you for the offer. I will find out myself."
"Very well. You'll let me know what happens?"
"Yes of course. Good night Dear." The older woman hangs up the phone. Who would have thought that her lover, Leo White would make such a good partner? His greed and hunger for power were what attracted her to him. They met at her husband's funeral. Old partners at the firm. He understood Cora's need for control and helped her with what she needed. Control over her daughter.
Regina had a trust fund, a very substantial trust. Something that her father, Henry did for her. He knew that Regina loved art and also knew that sometimes the life of an Artist was a struggle. He created a trust so that if she does pursue art she wouldn't be starving. This was all written in his will. Regina of course didn't know about this. Cora needed to keep her daughter preoccupied until she turned 30 because after that time the value of the trust would accumulate to 4 million dollars. She needed to make sure nothing happens to her daughter that's why she keeps her on a leash.
Just a few more years. Regina needed to be alive for a few more years then she will go quietly like Henry.
Every one leaves a paper trail and Regina's had her located in Boston. What was her daughter doing there?
It's funny they say that love conquers all but what if something or someone stands in the way? What if the course set out by destiny is interrupted by forces beyond your control? What if the choices we make to seal our fate was never our choices to begin with?
A/N: And the plot thickens...*pauses for dramatic effect* (dun dun dahhh!) Thoughts, Please...?