A few months later...
"Humph," I let out involuntarily while being tackled to the ground. Usually Ken liked to play around the jump on my back, but two pants-less legs wrapped around my waist, so I knew it must have been Clare.
"What did you do that for?" I asked. Clare just giggled, laying on my back.
"Because I knew you'd hate it," she said.
"Well get off!" I said, pushing her off my back.
I felt her body weight come off my back and I slowly pulled myself back up to a standing position.
"What's your problem today?" she asked with her hands on her hips.
"Sorry I don't like being pummeled to the ground," I said, rubbing my shoulder. I started walking to the front door since it was time to leave.
"Oh, I think someone is embarrassed because a girl brought him to his tummy," she said with a smirk on her face.
"I don't care about a girl beating. I know girls are tough. It's the being crushed by gravity feeling I don't quite appreciate," I said.
"Oh of course. Why do you always have to talk and act all proper?" she asked. I know she hates the way I talk, because I always thoroughly explain myself when she's wrong.
"I don't act or talk proper, I just like explaining why I am always right," I said. She punched my left shoulder, the once facing her.
"Oh, come on Goldsworthy, you can't possibly be that arrogant," she said.
"Uh, yeah, I can," I said.
She rolled her eyes. One thing that was so difficult about talking to Clare was that she always has an attitude. Not the kindest of people.
"You want to go to my house?" she asked.
"Sure," I said.
In the few months I've known her, me and Clare have grown to become good friends. She's told me about her ex-boyfriend/step-brother, her best friends who have ditched her since she's come to a new school, and how her mom is currently on her own since she is on the brink of another divorce. Right now, it's just the two of them, and it's quite pitiful. Her mom has become worthless, always being at home while her husbands worked, and she was always spoiled in expensive things and Clare was sort of pushed to the side. Her mom didn't pay as much attention to her, which is probably why Clare used to party a lot and likes to drink when her mom is home,only in the house. She hasn't exactly come out and said she's wildly party or done drugs, but she's made many vague reference's to what she calls 'crazy nights', so I feel that has a reason to do with why she was transferred to this school, but I still don't know. In response I have told her about my bi-polar and my struggles, but mine aren't as interesting as hers.
I planned on finding out why she's here though. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was someone with a story, and I want to learn it.
We eventually got to her house. It wasn't fancy or rich, probably to her mom's dismay, but it was comfy. It wasn't decorated around any theme, almost like who ever picked out the decor and furniture just looked around and pointed at whatever they liked. That's what made it cozy; it actually felt like a home, not a catalog insert. When we came in, Clare shot past her mother in the bar and went right up to her room, and I of course followed. Clare's room was comfy too, just empty. Maybe everything was organized and put away nice, but I've always wondered why her room has so much empty space.
"Do you want to do our English assignment together?" she asked, kicking herself up on the bed and relaxing. I've also come to know that Clare is a very sloppy person, and since I'm her friend, I am more than subjected to deal with it. Right now, her legs were slightly open and I could see her white lace panties up her school girl skirt.
Sure, it turned me on, but I still see her as my friend, and I didn't want to see that.
"Cross your legs, Clare," I said.
"Why?" she asked.
"I can see your underwear," I said.
Her cheeks blushed as she sat up and pulled her skirt down. She looked off at the floor. I didn't see why she was so embarrassed though, I mean, we're just friends, aren't we?
"Sure, let's get started on the English assignment," I said, pulling my folders and notebooks out of my backpack.
"Do you mind if I change first?" she asked.
"No, go ahead," I said, taking a seat on the bed.
She slipped off into her walk-in closet and pushed the door in, but not so far as to completely shut the door. I still couldn't see in though. I started reading the assignment again, refreshing my brain with the directions, when the heater kicked on. I heard a creak from inside the room, and looked up at the closet instinctively. The door has opened from the air being kicked on, and now I could see in Clare's closet, and of course, she had to be in front of the door.
With her back to me, I watched her pull on a button up shirt, and slowly button up. She bent over to take her school girl skirt off, revealing her white lace thong and her round, curvy bottom. I mean, I knew Clare had curves, but damn. This was nice. I tried to ignore it though, so I went back to my English assignment, trying to push her out of my mind unsuccessfully.
"Were you watching me?" she asked. I looked back up at the door, and her head was popped out of the door. She didn't sound unhappy or intruded, but rather, confused. Most guys would probably say no, but I knew Clare, and she knew I always told the truth, and that if lied, it would be out of character for me, so I just told her the truth.
"Yes, for a couple of seconds," I said, going back to my assignment.
"Why would you do that?" she asked. Her eyebrows were even more scrunched, and she sounded even more confused.
"I didn't mean to heart or upset you. I just looked up and the door opened," I said.
"Did you see anything?" she asked.
"Yes," I said again, being brutally honest.
"What did you see?" she asked, seeming more curious that upset now.
"Your butt," I said.
She just smirked.
"Lucky you, but it's never happening again," she said before closing the door.
I just shook my head and went back to my paper. Eventually she came out in leggings, a short skirt, and a short-sleeved button up shirt. She took a seat on the bed and we started working on our finished about 45 minutes later.
We sat there in silence for a while, until I asked if she had any more homework.
"No, that's all the homework I got tonight," she said. One thing I liked about our school was that they didn't give us a lot of homework.
"I just have to do something for my science class, but I can probably do it in like, five minutes," I said.
"You can do it now," she said.
"No, that's okay, I'll just to it at home," I said.
"What about the school band concert thing? Have you decided if your going?" she asked. She reached over to the table next to her and grabbed her phone.
"No, that's just not my thing," I said.
"Lauren said her and Christi will be there, and I think their bring Rock," she said, going through her phone.
Rock was a friend of mine, and I liked Lauren and Christi, and I remembered how Ken said he was going to go watch his sister, though he hardly can stay through a show. Besides, when Ken and Lauren get together, we always end up doing something totally different then we planned.
"Sure, if Lauren's coming," I said, leaning onto her bed and looking up at the ceiling.
"You like Lauren?" Clare asked.
"Yeah, she's a fun girl. Her and Ken always do the craziest things," I said, still looking at her ceiling.
"Yeah, that's definitely true. I just didn't know you liked her," she said. I could sense a bit of attitude in her words.
"What's wrong with Lauren?" I asked, still not looking at her. It felt good to just relax and look at the ceiling, and I wasn't going to quite just because she has an attitude.
"Nothing, I guess," she said, but I could tell in her voice that wasn't true.
"Are you scared I'll take your friend away? Because I'm only going if her and Ken will be there," I said.
"Why her and Ken?" she asked.
"Because with the two of them, we'll probably end up not watching the show and going on an," I paused to lean on my side and use air quotations to mock Lauren's wording.
"'Adventure,'" I said.
Clare giggled, knowing exactly what I meant by that.
"Do you don't have a crush on her?" she asked.
Oh shoot, I should have watched my wording. I just totally realized that with what I said, Clare probably thought that I like Lauren, which I don't. I can't stand being alone with Lauren because of how crazy she is. However, if I did like Lauren, why would Clare even care?
"No," I said.
"Good," she said under her breath, going back to her phone.
I squinted my eyes at her as she ignored me.
"Why is that good?" I asked.
I could see in her eyes, a brief second of panic, but she turned to me and said bluntly;
"She doesn't like you very much," she said.
"Well I don't like her either," I said, laying back on the bed.
Clare chuckled and kept scrolling through her phone.
At the recital
Clare's POV
Eli was totally right about not doing what we were originally going to do. Lauren and Ken decided to take me, Eli, Christi, and Rock on another on of their 'adventures'. Even though we were supposed to only be in the auditorium, we sneaked out and started walking around the school. Luckily the school was very big, despite the small student population, and as much as I love watching shows be put on in the gorgeous theater, it was fun sneaking around with these guys. Lauren and Ken were in front of us, laughing about inside jokes about anime and such, while Eli and Christi were both next to me, talking about the uselessness and impracticality of the extremely eloquent architecture of the school's hallways. I kind of stared off into space, but I didn't totally zone out of their conversation. It was humorous to hear just how condescending they were about others.
"You guys would make such a annoying couple," I said, not totally paying attention.
Lauren and Ken gasped and turned around.
"Who's a couple?!" the ever so gorgeous, dramatic Lauren said.
"No one, I was making a joke," I said, walking around her.
"Clare has suddenly become very interested in my love life," Eli said, and even though I couldn't see him because I was in front of everyone. My feet started getting mixed up again because of my Mary-Jane's. The principle stressed that since parent's would be here, he wanted us back in out uniforms if we were coming, so I had to change back into my school clothes.
"Oh, my, god, she totally loves you! Why else would she be so curious in who your dating, right Clare?" Lauren ask at a fast pace, linking her arms with mine.
"No," I said continuing to walk with her on my arm.
Eli scoffed behind me, and even though it probably meant nothing to anyone else, I knew exactly what he meant. I whipped myself back around, unlacing myself from Lauren.
"Well I don't," I said.
I could tell everyone was a little shocked by my sudden passion, so I knew I had to cover my tracks, so I crossed my arms and have Eli my classic 'look'.
"Your probably just jealous because I told you you can't look at my butt again," I said.
Everyone started chuckling and gasping, but I just started giggling.
"Oh my god, you love her," Lauren said.
"No, I don't," Eli said. I hated that he sounded more convincing than me.
"Well, I'm just saying, maybe you are jealous," she said.
"Wait," Christi jumped in.
"When did you look at her butt?" she asked.
Eli just smirked, his eyes never leaving me.
"Earlier today, when she was changing," he said.
"By accident," I quickly added.
"Nice," Ken said, going in for a fist bump with Eli, but Eli just pushed his hand down, shaking his head.
There was brief moment of silence between all of us, but Eli and I just kept staring at each other.
"I bet their gonna have sex," Christi joked. My attention snapped when she said. I don't know how she could just say that, like sex is no big also stood next to her, laughing.
"No, there's no way I'm loosing my virginity to that freak," I said.
"Wait, your a virgin?" Ken asked.
"Yes, why?" I asked.
"Well, what about those pictures that," Ken started, but as soon as he mentioned pictures, I immediately stopped him.
"Shut up!" I yelled. There was a stiff tension between all of us now.
"What pictures?" Eli asked.
Luckily Lauren jumped in. Even though Lauren was known to be a drama queen and a bit of freak, she knew how to be serious and a loyal friend.
"Why are you guys picking on Clare? I was just joking about her and Eli, their just friends, and it's not a big deal if she's a virgin. Lot's of people are. Just leave her alone," she said.
Eventually everyone sort of rolled their eyes, but they all nodded their heads.
"Thank you Lauren," I said.
She just smiled.
"Let's keep walking," Christi said.
We continued to walk down the hall which was coming to a stop.
"Ken, have you ever been in the girls locker room?" Lauren asked, lacing her arms around Ken now.
"No, why?" he asked.
She began drawing on his chest through his shirt with her fingers.
"Because I want to show you a few things in there," she said. She made some sort of signal towards Ken. His eye widened and he smiled, nodding his head.
"Hey guys, I want to check out the French room. I am going to take French next year, and I want to see what the rooms like. I heard it's beautiful," she said, making a quick pace to the stairs.
"Wait, your taking French next year? You haven't taken it yet?" I asked. She giggled and turned back.
"Nope. Guess who's going to summer school," she said, she headed up the stairs.
"Any where you want to go that you haven't seen before?" Eli asked.
I had been to almost every part of the school at this point since my classes were spread across the building, but looking down the next hallway, I could see a room I hadn't gone too yet.
"Yeah, the nurse's room," I said.
Eli stopped and looked at me with obvious confusion on his face.
"The nurse's room?" he asked.
"Yeah, I haven't been in there before," I said.
"What's so special about the nurse's room?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just want to see what it looks like," I said.
"Hm, you know I think there's a bed in there," Christi said from the stair way to the French room.
"Christi!" I yelled.
She just continued up the steps, not listening to me.
"If you want to see it, I'll show you," Eli said, sounding indifferent. Christi was already upstairs and I didn't feel like hanging out with her since she was annoying me, and I didn't want to follow Lauren and Ken. I knew what they had planned.
"Sure," I said.
We walked down the hall and into the room. It wasn't really all the special. It was a desk and a few chairs in one room, which had a room adjacent to it that had a single cot, and not much else, beside's file towers and such. I kept walking towards the cot, and Eli turned all the lights on, startling me.
I ran to the light switches and turned the off.
"What if someone see's us in here?" I said.
"Relax Edwards, there no one here," he said, turning them back on.
I rolled my eyes and walked back to cot. I couldn't get those things that Christi kept saying off my mind, or what Lauren said about me liking Eli. I can't say I loved Eli, but I can't quite say I only like him as a friend. The truth is, I've only known him so long, I don't really know what I thing of him.
Eli came back and sat right next to me on the cot.
"You know we were only messing around with you back there," he said.
"I didn't like it," I said, fidgeting with my hair and looking at the ground.
"Clare, why are you so shooken up? Is it about what Ken said?" he asked.
Christi has gotten me so upset that I barely even remembered what Ken had said about those pictures. Those stupid, stupid pictures. Even though that wasn't what was bothering me, I lied.
"Yeah," I said.
"What were those pictures he was talking about?" Eli asked.
My heart stopped for a moment, and I stopped breathing too. I hadn't told anyone about the pictures. Anyone who knew about them only know about them because they saw them, had them, or were told about them. It was the real reason I got sent here. I liked to say it was just drugs, but it wasn't.
I sighed and told him the truth for the first time.
"You know how I told you I used to do drugs?" I said.
"Sure," Eli said.
"Well, a little while ago, I threw a party when my mom went on a vacation with her ex-husband, and it got way out of control," I started. I kept swallowing the lump in my throat, because I knew this wasn't going to be easy.
"It went on the whole weekend even though I wanted it to stop after a couple hours. It was horrible. The first night..." I caught my breath and kept going.
"I took a drugs with my friends, and we were all dressed, I guess, kinda skanky. We were just being silly and we didn't think anything of it, but I ended up taking too much, and I did some bad things," I said.
"You don't have to tell me," Eli said. Putting his hand on my knee to console me. I held his hand.
"I didn't have sex though," I added.
"That's good," Eli said.
I turned at looked at his pillow-lips, but tried to ignore this strange sensation I felt. I looked back into his eyes.
"Can I ask you a personal question?" I asked.
He nodded his head in return.
"Have you ever had sex?" I asked.
He looked away.
"You usually don't like talking about sex," he said.
"I don't like talking about casual party sex," I said.
"Sex has to mean something, you know? It just has too..." I said.
Eli nodded.
"I agree," he said.
I waited quietly for his answer, but I didn't get one.
"Did I cross a line?" I asked.
He brought himself back up to my eyes.
"You really want to know the truth?" he asked.
I nodded my head.
"I have had sex... but it didn't always mean anything," he said.
I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. He just told me that sex means something, not he's telling me it doesn't?
"You just said that you agree that sex means something," I said.
"And it does," he said, cutting me off.
"It absolutely does. But before I was treated for my bi-polar, I didn't always see it that way. I'd go through episodes, and I would have sex with girls for no reason, and then when I stabilized, I always greatly regretted it," he said.
I bit the inside of my lip. I didn't even know he was capable of that.
"Do you still do that?" I asked.
"No," he said.
We kept staring at each other with hands clasped in the others.
"What's it like to have sex?" I asked, surprising myself. I've always wondered what it was like to have sex. I guess I just never though I would ask someone like Eli about it.
"It feels great, and passionate, and beautiful, but it isn't always perfect," he said.
"I don't want perfect," I said almost immediately. By now it was no secret to me that sex doesn't always work out perfect.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I want to know what it's like," I said honestly.
"Your just scared to," he said. I nodded my head. He was totally right.
Eli surprised me by laying his hand on my waist, but he took my breath away by intensely kissing me. He close-mouthed kissed me at first, leaning back onto the cot, and slowly slipped his tongue into my breath. I was so taken aback, I didn't know what to do. I sat up straight and separated my lips from his, and slapped him.