A/N: No flames, if you don't like, don't read.
All things in BOLD are things that are said out loud.
All things in ITALICS are interviews by the contestants.
Things in REGULAR type are descriptions of events.

SURVIVOR DISNEY:

BRAINS VS BRAWN VS BEAUTY

Jeff P: 39 days, 3 tribes, 18 contestants, and only one will be the ultimate survivor.

[CUE THE INTRO IN YOUR HEAD, YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES]

The 18 contestants scramble onto the beach, having been thrown viciously from the Jolly Roger by a band of swarthy pirates. Captain Hook smiles at them and tips his hat while Mr. Smee looks down at them over his tiny round glasses. The ship then turns and heads away from the beach, reinforcing the idea that, yes, stranded means STRANDED.

Already a few contestants have edged ahead of the others. Eric has made it through the water effortlessly and waits as everyone catches up. Pocahontas and Naveen are close behind him. As soon as everyone gathers around the three separate piles of buffs, Jeff emerges from possibly out of nowhere and greets all the contestants with his trademark smile.

Jeff P: Welcome to Survivor Disney. I won't go into a lengthy explanation of the rules, even though I do like to hear myself talk, so I'll cut right to the chase. There are 18 of you and 3 tribes. We've divided it by brains, beauty and brawn. Look around at your fellow players and see if you can guess which is which. I may not even need to say it.

The contestants look idly about and it IS rather obvious for some people, for others it is a murky gray area. Belle, for example. Both smart AND pretty. Casting really had to make some tough choices here.

Jeff P: The Brains Tribe – Milo, Merlin, Doc, Belle, Jane, and the Emperor.

Said contestants retrieve their green buffs and step aside. Belle and Jane immediately flock to each other. Merlin and Doc repeat the goings-on to themselves and end up becoming utterly confused by the proceedings. Milo tries to explain things to them evenly but Doc and Merlin are easily offended and they sputter at him in turn. The Emperor's face has remained impassive.

The Brawn – Gaston, Brom Bones, Mulan, Hercules, Pocahontas, and Tarzan.

Said contestants retrieve their orange buffs and admire each other as being slightly superior to the other two groups. Pocahontas is somewhat disgusted by many of her alpha male teammates but she notices Tarzan seems genuinely modest. Gaston, Brom, and Hercules begin to flex for some odd, random reason, and Mulan rolls her eyes.

And finally, Team Beauty – Aurora, Esmeralda, Naveen, Jasmine, Eric, and Cinderella.

Said contestants grab their purple buffs. Esmeralda eyes Naveen flirtatiously while Jasmine spends her time glaring over at the Brawns team. Aurora, Cinderella, and Eric remain slightly quiet and unassuming, at least for now.

First thing you need to do as a tribe is set up camp. At the end of the third day, we'll have an Immunity Challenge with a reward of flint in case the winning team hasn't gotten their fire started yet.

-.-.-.-.-

Day 1 – Brains Camp

Milo, Washington D.C. -

It's an interesting experience, but I think most of us are thinkers and not doers.

DOC: Perhaps if we made a sort of arc like a tent…

MERLIN: Confound it, you, I was thinking! Man needs fire just as much as he needs shelter and I propose we do that first.

BELLE: That sounds like a good both do. How about we split up and three of us work on the shelter and the other three try to make fire?

JANE: Capital idea. Mr. Merlin, Belle and I can help you make the fire.

MERLIN: Um, yes. Quite.

The three drift off a few feet away and begin gathering necessary kindling for the fire. Doc continues to plan out in his mind's eye the perfect tent of a shelter. The Emperor stands much where he did several minutes ago, neither speaking nor moving.

Milo –

So I'm standing there, waiting for directions. Both the Emperor and Doc look like they have decent leadership skills, but none of them say or do anything. I'm wondering if they expect me to do all the work?

MILO: Uh, don't you think we should start gathering some wood?

Milo stands beside Doc and Doc has forgotten Milo is right beside him.

DOC: Well, uh, y-y-yes.

The Emperor has finally moved, coming to a lotus position sitting on the sandy beach. He appears to be meditating and nothing can break his concentration. Doc and Milo begin to gather large pieces of wood together, though this is rather difficult seeing as Doc is too short and tubby and Milo is far too weak and clumsy to bring back any significant planks of wood for use. They return to camp with a bundle of sticks that would be better off for use as firewood. Back at camp, Belle and Jane hover around Merlin.

BELLE: Don't worry, Merlin, I'm sure you'll think of a spell.

JANE: Yes, I'm sure if you retrace your memory, perhaps a similar spell-

MERLIN: Aha! Yes. Higitis Figitus for the game, create the FLAME!

A tidy little flame begins burning among the wood pyre and grows steadily. Jane and Belle smile at each other and then at Merlin.

Merlin, UK –

Rather nice girls, those two.

JANE: I suppose we should see how the other half of our tribe is faring.

BELLE: I have my doubts.

Belle, France –

I had no idea there was a heavy penalty for valuing intellect over attractiveness. Jane and I are in a tribe full of old men!

On seeing Milo and Doc's contributions to the shelter, Jane and Belle frown heavily. Milo shrugs self-deprecatingly and laughs a little. Doc continues to try and create the tent in his head using the dismal little branches. Merlin blows a bit on the fire, making it rather large indeed. Jane and Belle glance over at the Emperor, still in a trance, and shake their heads.

Jane, UK –

I'm a firm proponent in every person doing his part, and that Emperor fellow is shirking his responsibilities.

MILO: Sorry. Maybe I could look for some water?

JANE: Yes, I'll come along.

Jane –

If someone didn't go along with the poor chap, we none of us would ever see him again.

Milo and Jane travel through the wooded area beyond camp. Jane proves to be slightly clumsy herself which Milo appreciates.

JANE: Milo, is it? Do you know anything about the Emperor?

MILO: The Emperor? Not really. I don't think he's said a word.

JANE: That's incredibly strange. If we're forced to eliminate someone in three days, he'd certainly get my vote.

MILO: You swear?

Milo looks at Jane nervously and doesn't notice the tree directly ahead of him. He collides into it and lands on his backside. Jane immediately helps him up and when she sees he is uninjured, she lets out a small laugh.

JANE: You're not afraid of being the first to go, are you?

MILO: I'm a little out of my element, here.

JANE: So is everyone else. I'd as soon get rid of Belle or Merlin as you.

MILO: That guy is a little scary.

JANE: Nonsense. He just likes to be the wisest person in the conversation. I think Belle and I have succeeded in bringing him to our side.

MILO: So we're agreed? Me, you, Belle, and Merlin?

JANE: Unless something drastic happens, yes.

Milo –

I still think that Merlin is scary.

-.-.-.-.-

Day 1 – Brawns Camp

Gaston, France –

Personally I think I'm on the wrong tribe. No one's as handsome as Gaston.

BROM: What I think we could use here is a little leadership.

GASTON: If you're referring to me, I accept.

HERCULES: I think we should put it to a vote.

Mulan and Pocahontas try to conceal their utter disgust and Tarzan tries to fade into the background, knowing full well the consequences of too many alphas fighting for dominance within a tribe.

BROM: Fine, then. All votes for Gaston?

Gaston lifts his chin up proudly but finds it hard to swallow when no one raises a hand to his credit.

GASTON: This is outrageous.

BROM: Votes for me?

No one raises a hand for Brom either. Brom turns red with rage.

HERCULES: Do I get any votes?

Mulan and Pocahontas drift away from the group and Tarzan tries to follow unseen. MULAN: We need fire. I can make a fire near camp.

POCAHONTAS: I can make a place for us to stay. I could use help, though.

Pocahontas glances at Tarzan and he brings himself over to them, shyly.

TARZAN: I…can help.

Pocahontas and Mulan smile.

Mulan, China –

The very first thing that happens when we get to camp is a battle of the egos. Thankfully Pocahontas, Tarzan, and I are actually moving forward to get things done.

Pocahontas and Tarzan gather substantial chunks of wood from the nearby forest area, bringing them back to camp. Within a short while, they manage to create a workable shelter for the six tribe members. Meanwhile, Hercules, Gaston, and Brom remain embroiled in an argument.

GASTON: Do you have bimbette groupies following you around town as well?

BROM: Well…yes. Yes I do.

HERCULES: I'm an action figure!

Mulan glares over the trio as she nurses her sparks into a great fire.

MULAN: Can you guys make yourselves useful and look for some food?

The men do not hear her and Mulan becomes indignant. She sighs and tries again.

MULAN: I could use the help of some big strong men. I don't think I can get food for the tribe by myself…

Mulan –

I can't believe I did that.

The three men look over in Mulan's direction, eyes bugging out at the sight of a functional fire, and walk over to her.

HERCULES: You are in need of some help, ma'am?

Mulan –

Hercules looks like he could be nice, but he has this fake hero thing I can't stand.

MULAN: If all of you could get food for our tribe, I promise we'll vote for a leader.

GASTON: Then I plan to get the biggest…thing for us to eat.

BROM: I'll get one bigger.

HERCULES: What exactly would one eat here?

Mulan blinks and realizes that yes, she is in fact a part of the Brawn tribe.

MULAN: There's a beach, so…fish. And there's a forest over there, so…woodland creatures.

The three men wince and make gross faces at each other.

HERCULES: I don't mind fish. We can go to the beach.

GASTON: I think we should hunt wild game in the forest.

BROM: Why should you decide?

HERCULES: Let's vote.

Mulan rolls her eyes egregiously.

Mulan –

Was I not smart enough for the Brains Tribe?

Pocahontas and Tarzan put the finishing touches on the shelter.

POCAHONTAS: You've done this before.

TARZAN: Yes.

POCAHONTAS: You're awfully quiet.

TARZAN: Yes.

Pocahontas, Virginia US –

Tarzan is different from the other men. I can't explain it, but I feel that I can trust him.

POCAHONTAS: Thank you for the help.

TARZAN: You're welcome.

Pocahontas and Tarzan walk over to where Mulan is sitting, keeping watch over the fire. Hercules, Gaston, and Brom are nearby, still arguing about what to hunt for food and where to hunt it.

POCAHONTAS: I might be able to spear a few fish if I can make a tool sharp enough.

MULAN: That would be great.

Mulan and Pocahontas sharpen a random branch on the face of a jutting rock. Tarzan watches in silence.

Mulan –

Tarzan is an interesting person. I don't know what he's thinking but I'm also positive he'd vote with us rather than against us at tribal councils.

The trio of men argue their way down the beach and then later they argue their way into the forest area.

MULAN: Listen, as much as those guys argue, I don't doubt for a second that they won't band together to get rid of one of us.

TARZAN: You don't know that.

MULAN: Is there something you're not telling us?

TARZAN: No, but…

Tarzan pauses and looks uncomfortable.

POCAHONTAS: As it stands, if the three of us are in an alliance, we need one more person to swing the vote in our favor.

MULAN: Tarzan, can we trust you?

Tarzan gives a slight nod.

MULAN: Then who would be our fourth?

POCAHONTAS: Hercules doesn't seem quite as…

MULAN: Buffoonish?

POCAHONTAS: But on the other hand, Brom and Gaston would be easier to lead. If we made them think they were leading instead.

MULAN: True. But Hercules would be much easier to live with, I think.

-.-.-.-.-

Day 1 – Beauty Camp

Naveen, Maldonia –

All around me there are beautiful women. It is just a shame that I have to share them.

Naveen indulges in flirting with Esmeralda, winking at her and flashes his brilliant teeth.

Esmeralda, France –

If he's as selfish as he looks, I think I could use him.

ERIC: I hope those pirates aren't the only way off this island.

Cinderella and Aurora laugh at his joke, relieved at the infusion of humor. It is clear that they, especially Aurora, are both quite uncomfortable. Jasmine regards the gentle flirting between Naveen and Esmeralda and turns away in distaste.

JASMINE: Are you all right?

Jasmine looks at Aurora in concern. Aurora appears very fragile and hugs herself as if cold.

AURORA: I'm all right. Nothing I can't get used to.

CINDERELLA: If you're anything like me, I'm homesick.

JASMINE: I'm not homesick yet but I know I will be.

The three girls begin to walk along the beach. Eric has been fiddling with two sticks trying to make a fire. After several attempts, he only manages to make smoke. He sighs and tries again. Naveen comes over to him.

NAVEEN: What are you doing to those pieces of wood?

Eric laughs.

ERIC: Just trying to get a fire together so we can keep warm and maybe cook stuff. If we ever find any food.

NAVEEN: Now that you mention it…

Esmeralda joins them, fluffing her hair out seductively and making the most of her sex appeal. The three girls continue their walk down the beach, but they notice Esmeralda getting quite friendly with the only two men in their tribe.

JASMINE: I can't believe those two are falling for that act.

AURORA: What act?

JASMINE: She's going to have them eating out of the palm of her hand, soon.

Jasmine –

I despise women who play to men like that. It's like the rest of us don't exist.

CINDERELLA: Everyone has a strategy.

JASMINE: An underhanded strategy.

AURORA: I bet Eric is a real gentleman.

Jasmine –

Aurora seems nice. Not very intelligent, but nice.

JASMINE: If we could get Eric alone somehow…

CINDERELLA: It's about time for us to split up the tribe chores anyway.

JASMINE: Perfect. We need to find a source of fresh water.

AURORA: I don't mind walking in the forest.

The girls go back to camp, finding Naveen and Esmeralda lying near the beach talking. Eric is by himself continuing to fiddle with his non-existent fire.

JASMINE: Eric, Aurora and I were going in the woods to look for a watering hole. Would you like to come with us?

Eric gratefully abandons his attempts and follows Jasmine and Aurora into the woods. Aurora soon takes up singing a very operatic song in a very high register. Jasmine rolls her eyes and Eric is a little confused by the impromptu concert.

Jasmine –

She has a gorgeous voice, don't get me wrong. We all do! But I could have done without the aria.

Eric, Denmark –

She just randomly started singing. It was almost like Jasmine and I weren't even there. It was weird.

The three continue to wander through the woods, Jasmine and Eric discovering that Aurora gets along with practically every kind of wildlife in the forest. They take note of this and store it away in memory. Meanwhile, Cinderella has taken up with trying to light the fire, but every time she manages to get a little smoke going, the fire puckers out. Eventually Naveen walks over to her and smiles. Esmeralda is still on the beach.

NAVEEN: I could not help but notice your problem.

CINDERELLA: I can't seem to get the fire going. Do you know anything about starting a fire?

NAVEEN: Not really, but I do know something about keeping a charming lady entertained.

CINDERELLA: Oh?

Cinderella, while amused, is slightly wary based on his initial affinity with Esmeralda.

Esmeralda –

I'm going to be honest. I know it's not enough to just have Naveen and Eric under my thumb. I need one more person to control the majority. And since Aurora is pretty spacey and Jasmine acts like a snob, Cinderella is the only person I'd feel half-comfortable aligning with.

Esmeralda watches from the beach, trying to disguise the fact that she is watching. Naveen hums a zippy little song and dances a bit, very much the showman. Cinderella admits that Naveen is indeed handsome and charming, and she wonders how much of it is genuine.

CINDERELLA: Very good. I'm impressed.

NAVEEN: Now you. Do you sing?

CINDERELLA: Not really. Only when I'm doing my chores.

NAVEEN: Do you dance?

CINDERELLA: Only at parties.

Cinderella laughs shyly, wondering why Naveen is taking so much interest in her. She tries to hide her suspicions and discomfort with the situation, but she becomes even more uncomfortable when Esmeralda joins the two of them near the campfire that remains unlit.

ESMERALDA: Hey, Cinderella. We haven't really gotten the chance to talk.

CINDERELLA: No, I suppose we haven't.

ESMERALDA: Listen, I like to shoot straight. If you side with Naveen and I, and Eric, I can promise you that we won't vote you off. I know Jasmine is trying to form a little gang with the three of you but do you really want to trust her? You've got a good head on your shoulders, right? As soon as Jasmine feels safe, she's going to go after you.

Cinderella looks uneasy. Naveen, while impressed at Esmeralda's cunning, is mildly out of place among all the tactical discourse. He smiles pleasantly and whistles a bit to himself.

ESMERALDA: Don't trust Eric either. I think he's going to straddle both sides until the last minute. Give it some thought and let me know. But watch your back around Jasmine. I know her type.

Esmeralda goes back to the beach and Naveen follows her, waving at Cinderella in farewell. Cinderella sighs and looks deeply conflicted. Eventually Eric, Jasmine, and Aurora come back with canteens full of water.

AURORA: Can you believe it? We actually found a watering hole!

JASMINE: As long as we have water, I think that's a good start.

ERIC: But what about a hut? What if it rains?

Eric –

I'm a little confused here. I was kind of hoping we'd be better off than this.

-.-.-.-.-