The Experiment Execution

"Six is up!" The cook called and Penny moved from her spot leaning against the freezer door in the back and picked up the two plates of food. She expertly balanced them on her forearms and backed out the door to the dining area.

It was a quiet night, a Tuesday which were usually the slowest day of the week and she enjoyed these days because she was getting paid to do very little.

Penny never thought much of how stagnant her life was; really it was better not too. Yeah she was still at the Cheesecake Factory and yes she hadn't had a decent acting job since her hemorrhoid commercial that had just recently been taken off station rotation. But she was still going to auditions, she was still trying and for the most part that was enough.

She was good at this job, having done it for almost seven years now. It paid the bills and kept her out here in Pasadena, chasing her dream, chasing… something.

"Here you go." She said with a bright smile as she set down the pair of cheeseburgers in front of the middle-aged couple that looked as if they'd just had a rather intense argument with one another. The man was glaring in Penny's general direction and the woman was smiling with a great deal of fallacy.

"Thank you." The woman said as she lifted her napkin onto her lap.

Penny nodded and pulled out her pad. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

"We're good," the man grumbled before lifting his burger and taking a huge bite.

With that, Penny shuffled away with a promise to return and moved to the next table in her rotation.

That was when she saw him, sitting alone as he scanned through the menu even though he wouldn't dream of ordering anything else. With Bernadette going with Howard to New Jersey, it was nice to see him here today; it made her feel as if she weren't in some strange city. She had at least one familiar.

"Good evening, Dr. Cooper." Penny said happily as she rested her hands against the chair that sat on the opposite side of the table.

Sheldon lowered his menu and offered her a tight smile. "Hello, Penny."

"Eating alone?" She asked, reaching up to push a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Actually no, I'm waiting for Amy… she should be here any moment."

Penny's brow furrowed. "She's not here, how did you get here?"

"I took the bus," he answered quickly. "Despite my disdain for the public transportation in this city, I, as a superior being, am nothing if I cannot adapt."

It was hard for her to really accept his words, as if Sheldon Cooper had ever adapted to anything. He certainly hadn't when to the people in his life. Apparently adaption was only possible when all other options were null and void. Besides, his coming here wasn't adapting, adapting would be sacrificing his precious schedule because he was unable to complete it.

Sheldon wasn't adapting at all, he was just desperate for the stability that he'd lost with his friends going away.

"You do make those denim skirts work with that rockin' behind, Bestie!" Amy's voice filled her ears and even though the words made her uncomfortable, it was a pleasant sound.

Penny turned to see Amy approaching the table, back in her usual attire of long dresses and sweaters. Already there, Penny pulled the chair back and moved to the side of the table as Amy sat down. "Thanks sweetie, what can I get you two to drink?" Penny said as she saw her manager and knew he wasn't a big fan of the extended time she always took at this table when these people were here.

"I'll have lemonade." Sheldon said without falter.

Amy folded open her menu and started to hum. "Is it too much to follow up a night of inebriated dancing and drinking with a margarita?" She asked Penny.

The blonde shrugged. "If you want a margarita, I'll bring you one." She finished with a smile.

"Margarita it is."

"Okay," Penny nodded. "I'll be right back."

"You went dancing last night?" Penny heard Sheldon say as she made her way to the bar.

Bryan was working the bar tonight, he'd always said it was the only tolerable job he could handle here. For the most part, Bryan was a good looking guy. He was 24, two years younger than Penny. He had messy, dark blonde hair and a relatively charming smile. His eyes were what drew most of his prey (girls) to him though. He had a squint, a broody glare that penetrated his dark eyes into whatever he was after.

Penny found him attractive sure, but he'd also slept with half the staff here and she wasn't about to be a notch on that bedpost.

"Hey sexy." He said with a smirk. That didn't mean he hadn't tried with her. "What can I get you?" He asked, taking the flirt out of his voice and readying himself to mix a drink.

"I need a margarita and lemonade."

He looked past her to the table she'd just come from, he'd been here long enough to know that when the geeks came in, that was Penny's table. "I didn't see the Indian boy comin' in… who's ordering hooch?" He noticed only the back of the tall one's head. "Not Spock?" He looked scandalized.

"Oh God no… his… date." Penny said awkwardly, she didn't know how to describe that relationship, she certainly didn't have enough time now.

Bryan then found himself leaning over even further to get a look at the table, he nearly fell over in his attempt. "Wow… they kinda fit right, like a loser convention."

"Watch it," Penny warned as he started to make the drinks. If there were any two people in the world that Penny would stand up for, it was Sheldon and Amy. They were only themselves and for that they deserved to be praised, even if Amy could be blunt and Sheldon could be horridly aggravating, they never warranted any malice.

However, her comments didn't draw Bryan back, they just made him look at her shrewdly. "Easy, I'm not about to poke the bear. Everyone knows you don't fuck with the geek table."

Penny rolled her eyes as he finally handed over the drinks. Taking them, she glared at him. "You're damn right you don't."

It took her only a few strides to return to their table where Amy was talking joyfully about her experiments.

"It was particularly interesting because when I offered Ricky an electronic cigarette replacement… he refused it like Mrs. Wolowitz at a salad bar." Amy completed just as Penny sat the drinks on the table. "That boy behind the bar was watching you the entire time you walked over here."

Turning slightly, Penny saw Bryan wink at her before turning his attention to a patron at the bar. She groaned and focused back on the table but noticed that Sheldon was looking towards the bar as well, his gaze lingering on Bryan a moment longer.

She smiled shyly when he looked at her in focusing back to the table. "Okay… so barbeque burger for you I'm sure." She looked to Sheldon and he nodded curtly. Penny then focused on Amy. "What can I get you, Sweetie?"

"I'll have the Cobb salad, gotta keep this booty tight am I right Sheldon?" Amy's voice carried a slight bit of hope in it as she eyed him.

Typical, Sheldon looked at her with absolute indifference. "If that's your priority I would say you could eat the steak and lobster tonight then schedule a round of liposuction at any number of plastic surgeons who make their living in the city of Los Angeles and end up with the same results as a lifetime full of salads and fruit."

It was easy to miss and would have been if Penny hadn't been watching so closely, but Amy saddened for only a moment before pushing up her glasses and letting her expression flatten.

"I think you have a great booty, Ames." Penny added with a smile before trotting off to put in their order.

Sheldon could be such an ass, even though she knew it was rarely intentional.

Cursing as she reached the top step and found herself still shivering, Penny ran her hands through her hair and clutched her jacket tight. It had started raining around midnight and though it was fun to watch the lightning while she drove home, she was only out of her car for a good twenty seconds and the heavy falling rain had soaked her.

Just as she was about to make the turn for her apartment, she heard a noise from 4A and immediately knew something wasn't right. Dr. Schedule was never up this late.

Staring at her keys for a moment and then her apartment door, she turned on her heel and knocked.

It didn't take very long for the door to open. "Hey Sweetie," she cooed as the door opened and displayed a disheveled Sheldon. His hair was a mess and in his plaid pajamas she knew that he'd attempted sleep and failed.

"You're wet." He commented sleepily.

Penny smiled slightly and glanced down at herself. "Yeah, it's coming down pretty hard, why are you up at two in the morning?"

"I believe it would be for the same reason that you're shivering." When he stepped away from the door she hesitated for a moment before stepping inside.

"So the storm is keeping you up?" She asked but tilted her head to the side in confusion as he started down the hall towards the bedrooms and ignored her. Now standing alone in his living room, she took a step back to make her exit but stopped when he reappeared with a green towel in his hand.

With long strides he was next to her. She gratefully took the towel and ran it over her hair.

Sheldon returned to his spot. "Yes, the thunder and lightning, though simple acts of nature, have successfully ruined my allotted eight hours."

"Honey you've slept through plenty of storms before, worse ones than this." Penny moved closer to where he sat, the towel wrapped around her shoulders as she watched him shy away.

"Apparently my… concerns, no matter the irrationality of them, are greatly increased by the fact that I'm currently alone in the apartment." He was embarrassed and she could tell but for some reason, as it always was with him, she found it sweet.

Licking her lips, Penny slid down onto the couch next to him and folded her hands on her lap. "I don't really like the thunder either." She whispered and he looked at her with questioning eyes. "I used to sleep on the second floor and I always knew that if it ever hit the house, it was going to get me first. Most of the time I'd run to my parent's room and sleep with them."

He cast his eyes to the floor. "I attempted to find refuge with my parents during a storm once when I was six. My father told me to stop being a baby and sent me back to my room."

Through her time with him, Penny knew that Sheldon's relationship with his father was strained at best; she honestly didn't enjoy hearing much from Sheldon's past. Most of it consisted of him being outcast and forced into things he didn't want to do. Sure Penny pushed him at times, but she would never belittle him or scare him.

She thought herself more of a protector for him, knowing full well that if it the situation were too far gone, he would do the same for her.

Following her yawn, Sheldon cleared his throat. "I appear to be keeping you from what is clearly a much needed sleep. You have bags under your eyes and your face is an off-white pale that is a clean sign of fatigue. You should rest."

"Well what about you, you can't stay up all night."

He shrugged. "I've done it before." There was no hint of worry in his voice but Penny couldn't help but notice how exhausted he looked. His hair a mess and she could tell that he was frustrated at his own childish fears by the way he kept looking away from her.

Battling her own war against sleep, Penny reached over and laid the palm of her hand against the side of his head, losing her fingers in his tousled hair.

Sheldon eyed her oddly, clearly taken aback by her touch. She pulled away but kept her smile. "I'll worry about you up all night, you'll be a wreck for work tomorrow." That was when she remembered she had to take him to work. "Jesus, Sheldon it's two-thirty and we're still up, there's no way I'm going to get you to the University on time!"

"I assumed as much, given your current schedule of swing shifts at the Cheesecake Factory, I've taken it upon myself to arrange other means of transportation."

Her mouth fell open; she couldn't imagine him suffering through the bus. "How?"

He sighed. "I've… decided to pay… Kripke," he said the name as if it physically pained him. "To come by in the mornings on his way into work and pick me up. In exchange for my money he's promised to refrain from speaking in my presence."

"Oh, Sweetie I could still take you sometimes." She said softly and he nodded.

"Yes, I know and I've told Kripke that if I text him "NO" then he is not to pick me up, those will be the days you are available to drive me. Lord knows I'd rather spend fifteen minutes in that death trap car with you than the same amount of time in Kripke's vehicle." Again he looked at her, something gentle in his deep, blue eyes. "You need to rid yourself of those wet clothes, you'll catch cold and then I'll have to shun you from the apartment."

Sighing with a reserved smile, Penny pushed up to her feet and nodded. She really was cold. "Okay, I think the storm is passing anyways."

"You're right." He said, standing as well. "I will see you tomorrow I'm sure, Penny."

With the brightest smile she could muster, Penny offered a goodnight and made her exit.

As Sheldon finally curled back up into his bed that night, his phone buzzed with a text message.

He checked it in the dark of his room.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, pur…

G'night, Sheldon

~ Penny

No one was around to tell Sheldon he was smiling as he finally went to sleep.

"I'm gettin' too old for this shit." Penny mumbled as she mimicked Lethal Weapon, of course it was on cable so they bleeped out the curse word and whenever that happened on anything she watched, Penny made sure to fill in the blanks.

It was a little past noon, Sheldon was gone and she had to go to work in four hours for another 4 to 2 shift. The swing shifts were tough because they basically took her out of the functioning world. She didn't have enough time to really spend her day with anyone or do anything. Penny liked to sleep so even now, being up this early after a swing was surprising.

So she decided to clean and watch one of her favorite movies. With her Swiffer duster in hand, she swiped it over all her table tops and windowsills. Penny found herself in a surprisingly good mood considering she'd quietly admitted herself last night that she was in a massive rut. She hadn't had an audition since her hemorrhoid commercial that was supposed to be her big break. Her job was becoming absolutely secondary, to the point that her mind didn't even have to function to make her body move through the motions of it and she was about as single as a person could be without being lost at sea.

Hell even Sheldon had more going on in his social life, whether he acknowledge it or not he did have dinner with a woman last night.

That drew her thoughts to him and his state last night. He was oddly vulnerable as the storm rolled through Pasadena and Penny found herself going to sleep worrying about him. She'd even texted his silly song to him in hopes that it would make him feel better. She knew it probably didn't, she was shocked he didn't text her back with a reminder that he wasn't sick.

Still, she hoped he slept well enough to get through his day. Trotting into her room for a bit, she pulled her phone from it's charger and swiftly texted him.

U sleep okay?

After she sent it she felt silly. Why it bothered her so much she didn't know but a part of her realized that he hadn't lived alone in a long time and though this was a grown man who, judging by his financial state, could clearly do a better job of independence then her, she was drawn to take care of him.

Penny found herself oddly intense as she continued to do her chores but constantly looked back to her phone to check for a response.

One didn't come, but a knock on her door did. Muting the television, she moved to her door and checked through the peephole before opening it quickly. "Amy? What are you doing here?"

"I am here to divulge you with what I remember the teenage girls in my school called 'girl talk'."

The blonde stepped aside as Amy walked in hastily. "Okay, but shouldn't you be working?"

"Lunch break, I hauled my butt down here because I absolutely had to tell you about my dream last night."

Shutting her door, Penny made her way across the living room and into her kitchen. "Alright, you want anything to drink? I'd offer you food but," she then revealed the emptiness inside of her refrigerator.

"I'm okay, I ate while I was driving, despite the warnings from officer Dave in those warning films they'd show us in school that started with a bright young girl sipping coffee in her car only to be brutally killed in automobile accident." She then proceeds to sit on the couch for only a moment before standing again. She was pacing, she was nervous and so Penny crossed the room and stopped her. "Sorry, "she muttered with a shy smile. "I just had a wonderfully erotic dream, you were there!" She boasted and Penny pursed her lips and took a step back.

"I—I was there?"

Amy nodded boisterously. "Yes, giving tips and for some reason you were able to play the violin… it was odd, you don't play the violin do you?"

"Uh," Penny shook her head. "No."

"Darn," Amy grumbled but her smile stayed intact. "Anyways, I was engaging in intense sexual intercourse with Sheldon, though it was really just his body, when he spoke he sounded a bit like Sean Connery. Anyways, when I woke up I was flushed and my heart rate was through the roof and it made me realize that I am ready to lure Sheldon to the bedroom."

In that moment, something sunk down hard on Penny's chest. She thought for a second that she might be having a heart attack as she stepped back and found solace in one of the stools by her counter and sat down.

It faded just as quickly and Amy, in her joyed state, didn't seem to take notice.

Penny smiled. "That's going to be tough, what with him being crazy and all."

"I'm merely going to put on a sexy outfit and some equally enticing undergarments and then attack him like the German's invaded Poland!" Amy clapped her hands and bounced over to where her best friend was sitting. "I was hoping you would help me reach the proper level of sex appeal that most men find desirable. I'm certain I won't be able to carry it like you do, hell you're wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt that would fit on my father and yet you still look undeniably sexy."

Closing her eyes with an embarrassed look and an awkward laugh, Penny nodded while grabbing Amy by the shoulders. "Of course I'll help you," Penny checked the wall clock to her right. "I have to work in four hours though and I'm sure you have to get back."

"One moment," Amy said before she shuffled away to the opposite side of the room and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed a number and waited for only a moment. "Yes, this is Amy Farrah Fowler, I'm afraid I won't be able to return to work today…," a few seconds passed. "Yes, I'm afraid I've come down with a serious case of bowel issues and my presence would only endanger those who wished to use the facilities in the biology department." Penny couldn't help but cringe as she shook her head. "Very well, goodbye."

Amy then looked at the blonde expectantly. Penny threw her head back with a genuine smile and stood. "Let me change." As she shuffled to her room, Penny grabbed her phone and saw one unread message.

Your text message last night was helpful

Penny grinned widely as she stepped into her closet.

Twenty minutes later they were at the mall. Penny had her mind racing as it always did in a place like this only now she was trying to focus her energy on Sheldon. "Okay… there," she pointed to a memorabilia shop a few clicks away and started for it.

"Um," Amy stammered and hesitated. "Shouldn't we be going to a Victoria Secret or something of that nature for this? I'm quite certain that sexy bras and panties far outweigh Spiderman costumes and power rings when it comes to the male libido."

Penny stopped and looked back with a sly grin. "Have you ever known Sheldon to take any interest in that sort of thing?" Amy shook her head. "Exactly, you have to reach Sheldon on his level and what does Sheldon love? Comic books, so instead of getting you normal sexy, we get you geeky sexy."

For the most part it went exactly as Penny wanted it too. She found Amy a few shirts with various super hero emblems on them. They were tight fitting and displayed her curves quite nicely. Penny even suggested Amy buy him a comic book to offer when she made her approach. Amy was planning on being aggressive and even though Penny didn't see the plan working, she was willing help because she cared for Amy.

It was while Amy was checking out that Penny saw it on the rack. A simple t-shirt that was small and would fit her snugly and it was something that wouldn't go with anything in her wardrobe but… she was drawn to it.

I'm in love with the fastest man alive

Those were the words written across the red shirt in yellow lettering. Below it was a familiar lightning bolt that brought a strange sense of warmth to her.

Penny was about to put it back on the rack but found herself unable to. The idea of not owning it was oddly unsettling, it was cheap enough anyways… would be a good shirt to wear over to the guy's apartment one night when they all came back.

Yeah, they'd get a kick out of it.

"Yeah," she whispered before holding it to her chest and walking to the checkout.

Bad idea

It was a simple text that Penny received around ten o'clock that night. Amy's complete lack of extra information was unsettling to say the least. Even when she was frustrated with her work or her mother she would always go into immense detail.

Now though, a simple two word message spoke volumes.

Penny kept on her smile when she bought six plates of food to a traveling family before she returned to the solace of the kitchen and started typing.

What happened?

Again Penny had to serve a few more tables as she waited for her response. They were crazy busy tonight and her tips were actually piling up quite nicely, she might even be able to afford those shoes she'd seen while shopping with Amy, the ones she had to practically drag herself away from to maintain focus.

Eventually her phone buzzed and because of that the table with an older man by himself had some fairly shoddy service as she nearly spilled the coffee she was pouring him. So she smiled and flirted a little to try and salvage her tip.

Not her proudest moment but neither is eating crackers and peanut butter for dinner.

Finally catching a break, she pulled out her phone and saw a long message waiting her.

I went in guns blazing and tried to seduce him with a comic book but he asked me what I knew about it and the silly lantern on my t-shirt and when I couldn't answer right he started explaining it to me, so I pounced on him and he threw me out of the apartment. I apologized to him and he accepted but told me to keep my distance for a few days because I'd made him uncomfortable and that he was clearly NOT interested in me in that way, he merely enjoyed my company…

Thank you anyways for the help, Bestie

Penny scowled at no one and felt an overwhelming urge to punch Sheldon right in the goddamn throat.

I'm sorry, sweetie. Ice cream and wine tomorrow night, okay?

She was upset the rest of her shift and her tips suffered for it.

By the time it ended she was worn down, her feet hurt and she had a massive headache.

It was quiet in 4A which meant that Sheldon had most likely found his usual sleep pattern tonight. She was aggravated with him, she wanted him to find something good in his life and Amy was something good. She really cared about him and was attracted to him and…, he just couldn't stop fucking it up.

With a heavy sigh, Penny chose to let it go for the night and made her way home but stopped at the sight of a yellow sticky note on her door.

Plucking it off the wall, she read it.

Forcing Amy Farrah Fowler onto me tonight was unpleasant. That's a strike.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Sucking on her teeth, Penny crunched up the note and stuck it in the pocket of her uniform before quickly entering her apartment. She grabbed the guy's spare key from the bowl and stomped back across the hall.

She unlocked the door quickly and made her way inside. It was dark and oddly serene inside, as if she were looking at this immensely familiar place upside down, it looked strange so empty.

Ignoring her recently wandering mind, she charged down the hallway and didn't bother to knock on his door. She stepped inside and found him sleeping on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other hanging off the bed past her field of vision.

Penny walked right up next to his bed and called his name. "Sheldon." Nothing, so she tried again. "Sheldon!" She hollered this time.

"Danger!" He shouted and before she could react he was using the arm hanging off the bed to swing something large at her.

The impact of the plastic lightsaber knocked her back into his dresser where she slipped on a fallen toy and fell hard to the floor.

When she regained herself a little, she saw him standing over her, hosting up his unlit weapon. "Penny?" He asked, recognizing her and putting his arms down.

"What the hell, Sheldon?" Penny groaned before pushing herself up and rubbing her sore back and forehead.

Immediately he dropped his plastic toy and shame ran across his face. "I—I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, my mother told me to never strike a woman… I apologize profusely." He said before reaching down to help her up.

His touch was surprisingly gentle as his fingers laced around her forearms to lift her. She looked at him, clear and unaltered guilt in his eyes, she was surprised that the mere light from the moon could still make the blue shine in them.

Then Amy snapped into her mind and she bristled. "What happened tonight? Why did I get a bunch of sad texts from Amy?"

He let her arms go. "I shouldn't be speaking to you, really." He said before turning away and sitting down on his bed.

"Sheldon I was trying to help you guys." Penny pleaded, still holding her injured body parts.

His gaze leveled on her, his eyes sharp, he was mad. "How many times must I tell you that I am not interested in a physical relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler?"

"But she really likes you and you must like her because you make time to hang out with her." Penny challenged as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Sheldon shook his head with condescension before sighing. "I merely enjoy her company, Penny, much as I do Koothrapalli when he isn't being tainted by the presence of Howard. She and I talk about things and she understands where I come from on an intellectual level. I don't wish to add a sexual component to that, ever."

"Well tonight might have cost you that, intellectual and everything." Penny's voice was soft now, she felt sad for him and a bit guilty because she had helped Amy practically force herself onto him but Amy was desperate for his attention and Penny was only now realizing he didn't have any attention in him to give.

He looked at her, finally. "No, I believe we will be able to resume our relationship as it is, I've texted her and she has agreed as such, though we've decided to take a few days apart from seeing each other."

"So that's it?"

"That's it," he said, there was intensity in his eyes that made Penny flush with an odd discomfort. "And I'm telling you to accept it, I do not wish to deal with this anymore. Frankly, it is none of your business."

Properly chastised, Penny lowered her head and nodded. "I'm sorry, I won't push for it anymore. I just… want you to be happy, Sheldon." She glanced up at him through the cover of her fallen hair. "I worry about you getting lonely." He said nothing in return as she licked her lips and nodded before heading out of his room.

"Penny?" He finally called out to her and she turned around a bit too quickly. "I was hoping to take a trip to the farmer's market in Bakersfield tomorrow around noon, I know you don't work and I was wondering if you'd be willing to go with me."

Taking only a moment, she answered. "Sure."

Sheldon nodded with approval. "Very well, goodnight."

Penny left his apartment that night fighting off that horrible sinking feeling in her chest.