Me: Hey, so… here's the next chapter. I hope that the two…maybe three of you that enjoyed it like this one too. So thanks for reading and double thanks to anyone who reviews.

Disclaimer: My younger puppy just turned one! And though this may indicate otherwise, I do not own Bleach.

Chapter 2 – A Day In The Life…

Tick tick tick tick.

Glance.

Tick tick tick tick.

SLAM!

"Yeah!" I took my hand off the 'set time' button and fist pumped. There, now every single clock in the flat was perfectly synced. I yawned and stretched, briefly wondering where Flowerchild was before deciding that I didn't really care.

I made my way over to the fridge for my victory beer. I took a long drink, grinning to myself. I had had a very fruitful day indeed.

After waking up around noon, noting that Woodstock wasn't around, and having my good-morning beer and a pop tart, I opened up my laptop and logged onto my neighbor's wi-fi. I spent about six minutes searching for part time jobs before becoming distracted by an article about the health benefits of hemp smoothies.

What a load of bull. Probably some washed-up middle-aged ex-hippie out for one last hurrah. But I wouldn't know, I only looked at the pictures. And speaking of hippies, I couldn't help but to have noticed that my new roommate's corner was looking very bare. Apart from a few personal belongings, he had not decorated at all.

Perfect.

The next hour or two was spent finding, printing and taping up wholesome decorations above Granola's bed.

And by wholesome, I mean pictures of dead pandas, oil spills, capitalists, Richard Nixon, SUVs and the occasional non-organic fruit and/or vegetable.

I stood back to admire my handiwork. Yup. I'm awesome. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face. Glancing at the clock, I noted that it was 1:38 p.m.

Glancing at my laptop, I noted that it was 2:47 p.m.

...

Wait a minute! That was an inconsistency of 69 minutes.

Haha. Sixty-nine. Not an hour and nine minutes, sixty-nine minutes.

After chuckling to myself for a few minutes, I resolved to make every clock in the apartment match. Down to the last second.

And that's how I ended up here, relaxing in my kitchen with a well earned cold one, when Peace Corps got home.

"Hi." he greeted somewhat awkwardly. I made a non-committal noise in reply. He took a deep breath, pulled on a totally fake smile, and asked how my day was.

I was tempted to say something sarcastic, but I was in a good mood. "Stellar." Alright, I couldn't do away with all sarcasm. "I synced all the clocks." I added rather smugly.

"That took you all day?"

"Yeah." I figured he'd find out about my little interior design kick soon enough.

"But there are only two clocks."

And there went my good mood.

Party pooper.

-o0o-

Renji watched as her face turned from a self-satisfied smirk to the ugly sort of face that Rukia made when someone spoke ill of Kuchiki-Taicho; the kind made you fear for the well being of certain man-parts.

Only Rukia wouldn't sink that low, no pun intended. He wouldn't, however put it past this human girl.

-o0o-

I gave him a look that I sincerely hope made him fear for the well being of certain man-parts.

He did look genuinely concerned, but only for a moment.

Damn.

"Hey, I never got your name." He put on a pretty brave face. I pondered that for a moment. I figured after he had managed to live through my gunna-castrate-choo glare without pissing himself, he had earned at least my name.

"Fine. I'm Aiko."

-o0o-

Aiko?

Was she serious?

It was all Renji could do to keep from laughing.

It was probably the cutest name he had ever heard. It gave him the mental image of an adorable five-year old skipping and blowing bubbles. It was the kind of name Yachiru would have: cute.

And cute was the last word he would ever use to describe this woman.

Some of his amusement must have shown on his face. "Is there something funny about my name?"

Aw, shit. The glare was back.

He had to distract her, and quick.

"Guess what I did today?" He asked, an excuse already made out. Who said living with a human had to be hard?

"I don't care."

Well, at least she wasn't angry anymore.

He held up a bag human clothes Matsumoto had so graciously provided him with. "I went shopping!" He tried to sound as happy as possible.

Aiko just gave him a look of disbelief before turning and marching into the other room mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like " Oh, great. He's gay too."

-o0o-

I flipped on the T.V. and sat down on my couch. Well, perhaps 'sat' was the wrong word. I layed on my back, my butt and thighs where my back should have been, my feet dangling over the back of the couch, and my head hanging limply, upside down over the front.

Reefer gave me a weird look as he walked past, in the direction of the bedroom.

Not two minutes later, he came back into the room and stood with his hands on his hips, which isn't very manly at all. "Why are there pictures of... a squash?"

"It's a non-organic squash." I corrected.

"Why is it next to my bed?"

I sighed. Why did he have to ask such dumb questions? It's hard to think properly when all your blood is rushing into your head. "Come here." I commanded.

He obeyed, albeit suspiciously, and stood in front of me. It was only then, upside down with my head a good five or six feet lower than his, that I noticed he had changed clothes. Gone was the strange hippie outfit, and in its place were a very normal jeans and t-shirt.

Wait, was he not a hippie then? That would explain the lack of reaction at the squash thing. I had to admit that, with normal clothes, he didn't look half bad. Of course, he didn't really look half good either.

"Are you a hippie?"

He didn't answer right away, like he had to think about it.

"It's a yes or no question, Tofu."

-o0o-

He had been asked the same question before. Though he couldn't quite recall what exactly a hippie was, he knew how to answer.

"No. Sometimes I just dress different." He tried smiling.

"Damn."

"So, you never answered my question; why are there strange pictures on the wall?" He sat down on the floor and crossed his legs, bringing him closer to his eye level.

"Never mind." She said grumpily, then added, "I don't know what to call you now."

"You could just call me Renji, you know, my name." He suggested, but she wasn't paying attention. She was staring at his hair and cackling somewhat manically.

"You know, from here," she said between chuckles, "your head looks like it's exploding~!"

"Um, thank you?"

"'Cause your hair, it's all shpfooooo!" She explained, waving her arms in a way that was apparently very explosion-like. Renji decided that upside down was not a very healthy position for Aiko to be in. He shook his head and got up to leave, but not before pulling the little lever on the side of the couch. The built in foot rest popped out, causing her to slam her chin onto her chest.

This time, he could not stop himself from laughing a little as he returned to the bedroom, leaving her looking like an upside down turtle and cursing fervently.

"You're an ass! A big fuckin' ass!"

Such a little sweetheart she was.

(Bakuha = explosion. Nothing too exciting)

Tum: That was short.

Me: And you smell like dead baby farts.

Tum: I'm surrounded by idiots

Me: Only one idiot, dummy. Anywho, thanks times 4355485 for reading!

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