Notes: IDK why, but I had a lot of fun writing this chapter for some reason. Thanks for the reviews! Hopefully this one should have less of a run-on sentence issue. (Thanks DragonDaemon93 for pointing that out) I'll see about editing the first chapter a bit later to fix it up.
Chapter 2: An Unlikely Alliance
"Well, this is awkward." Robin muttered and looked up at the spear lodged in the base of the monument. ...And back down at the unconscious god of Mischief. "If I actually thought I had it in me to kill someone, I would suffocate you with something for what you did in New York. Bastard." She muttered and stood up. Curiously, she walked over to the spear. Against her better judgment, Robin firmly took a hold of it and tried to pull it from the stone. It didn't budge in the slightest. Instead, she lost her footing and fell unceremoniously on her rump. Her bloody scraped palms didn't help much either, and left a smear of read on the cold metal pole. At least it didn't burn her hands off with some kind of alien nuclear radiation. Cursing under her breath, she got up and tried to lift Loki. And damn was he heavy. Must have been all the leather. In the end, she managed to half drag him back down the hill that led to the monument and shoved him roughly in the passenger seat of her car. He neither moved nor made any indication of regaining consciousness. He was breathing, at least. Whether or not that was a good thing was still up for debate. Again, the thought crossed her mind to just leave him there. But she'd no sooner do that than try and kill him. Robin knew full well that it would probably be days before any of the rangers actually bothered to stop by and check on things. Not that robin thought she'd be able to stop him from another attempt at world domination or anything, but hey, she had Tony Stark's phone number. That had to count for something, right?
The sensible thing to do would have just been to call the cops or an ambulance. Or hell, Robin could even have just called the called the Ranger's station and then left him there. She would have asked herself what in the bloody hell she was thinking, if she wasn't sure therein was the issue. Obviously she wasn't thinking. At best, she was harboring a war criminal. Wonderful. Whatever the case, she left the spear. She couldn't get out of the stone anyway. What is it, fucking Excalibur? Do I get to be a space Viking queen if I pull it out?, She thought to herself amusedly. Shaking her head, she buckled Loki's seat-belt and dug through her glove box for the spare keys to the bathrooms in the building she was parked near. She had to clean the grit out of the scrapes on her hands or the hour drive home was going to be balls. It was going to be balls anyway, who was she kidding? She had an insane (albeit unconscious) alien God in her car.
Luckily Robin found the keys and the water hadn't been shut off for the winter. She wasn't so lucky in the soap department, though. Not that she should be surprised. The bathrooms here were gross on a good day. She hissed through gritted teeth as she scrubbed dirt out of the scrapes with hot water and her fingernails. At times like this, she really had to wonder whether or not she was just a masochist. Frankly, cleaning had only made it hurt more. And she had a textured rubber steering wheel cover. Joy. Hoping it might help, she wrapped her hands generously in toilet paper for lack of anything else. Grudgingly, she climbed into the car and started it. Loki hadn't budged an inch. If nothing else, she wouldn't have to explain it to her mother. She was working an overnight shift and most likely should not be home until after ten the next morning. Robin, of course, fully intended to be en route to Stark Tower by then.
"And so help me God if Stark doesn't call me back before then, I'm taking you to him. Then you're his problem." Robin added aloud to the seemingly comatose God. His only reply was a slight hitch in his breathing. "Yeah whatever." She groused and turned the music on. If AC DC blaring through the speakers didn't wake him up, nothing would. And it didn't.
Tony hated board meetings. Loathed might have been a better word for it. Where the hell was Pepper when he needed her? She was better at this crap than he was, anyway. Boredly, he looked up at the clock over the conference room door. It was almost five and they were still sitting here harping about total nonsense that hardly required his presence. Or even Pepper's for that matter. He scratched at his goatee, stifling a yawn. There wasn't even anything in the room that could entertain him. Everything was plain white and grey. All clean edges, even the glass council table. It was almost clinical. He did at least get to smile knowingly when he noticed the woman next to him was less than entertained as well. She was hiding her phone under the table edge playing Angry Birds. Tony followed suit, though hopefully he could find something better to play than that nonsense. Or badly made porn to make fun of. Or anything, really. Instead, he saw that he had a missed call from the girl he was apparently hiring to be his manager for Stark tower. Well, for however long it lasted. Pepper was the only one that had so far managed to put up with his drama for any length of time. The thing that bothered Tony was that Jarvis had marked it as urgent. Which he was programmed only to do with calls from or to do with the Avengers. Or Fury if he tried to call more than five times in Succession. Either way, it was an excellent excuse to get some air.
Quietly, Tony excused himself. He stopped to get a coffee from a vending machine in the hall on the way. It was the worst coffee he'd ever had, but at least it was caffeinated. He'd have to see about getting a regular barista. At least for when he was stuck there like today. Once in the vacant CEO's office, he switched on Pepper's PC and pulled his phone back out. Pepper was in Seattle overseeing construction for a new production plant, so with any luck no one would bother him in her office. In spite of everything, he really missed being in a relationship with her. But that was never meant to be. She was just too good for him, really. That train of thought never ended well, and usually with too much scotch to be able to tell his head from his ass. So, he dashed it from his mind and listened to Robin's voicemail.
"'Avengerly intervention'? What the hell?" He complained in confusion and returned the call. The phone rang a good ten times before she finally answered.
"Hi, sorry! Driving." She said, as if it explained everything. Maybe it did. Not everyone had fancy voice commands that actually work. Wait, was that AC DC in the background? Wow, he liked her already.
"So. Avengerly intervention?" Tony asked, cradling the phone on his shoulder while he brought up the internet on Pepper's PC. He kind of doubted Amazon was going to have the parts he needed to fix the Heartbreaker's broken flight stabilizer, but what the hell. Might as well give it a try. …While he pretended not to think of how he'd broken said flight stabilizer. Yeah, Jarvis had new strict orders not to let him go drinking while in one of his suits.
"Yeah, uh... So… I have Loki in my car. I mean he's unconscious, but…" Robin began, sounding very much like a kid that just got caught with their Gameboy in math class. Tony had been taking a sip of his cheap vending machine coffee, and the entire mouthful wound up sprayed on the monitor in front of him. "You know, crazy space Viking, tried to enslave earth – that Loki." She continued when Tony didn't answer.
"Okay, woah. Back up a minute here. Why the fuck do you have Loki in your car? Please tell me this is just a hilarious 'I'm totally drunk' prank call and this just happens to be the last number you dialed, because –" Tony began, panicking. He had just starting getting over the anxiety attacks and the nightmares about the attack. Not to mention the mess with Aldrich Killian and Extremis that followed. He did not need this.
"I'm not drunk." Robin spat indignantly cutting him off. "I don't know why, okay! I was at High Point Monument and he just… I don't know – fell out of the freaking sky!"
"And you put him in your car?" Tony asked, incredulously. "Wait, where is High Point Monument?" Robin told him where High Point was and completely ignored his other question. His first thought was that she was a younger version of Pepper, with a healthy touch of his total lack of judgment and impulsiveness. Something about that made him instantly like her.
"Oh, by the way, there's this epic gold spear stuck in the bottom of the monument there. I couldn't pull it out. It kinda fell out of the sky after him." Robin explained. Tony just shook his head and told her to hang on while he had Jarvis run a few scans on the area. He brought the results up on the PC after he unceremoniously wiped the coffee off with a scarf that Pepper had left there. He'd have to buy her a new one. Ugh.
"Damn…" Tony muttered, stroking his goatee as he examined the results. Sure as anything, the energy readings were similar to when Thor decided to come visit and Jarvis confirmed it as a match. But that was odd. Loki hadn't come through the Bifrost last time. Wouldn't he have needed what's-his-face's permission that guarded the gate? The scanner also picked up another unknown energy signature in the vicinity. He had Jarvis hack a nearby satellite and get him a visual. And there was the 'epic spear' that Robin mentioned. Jesus. What the hell? "Okay, listen and do as I say. We don't have a lot of time before SHIELD picks up these energy readings and they all start crawling all over this like a bunch of angry piss ants." Tony explained.
"SHIELD?" Robin asked. "Anyway, yeah I'm listening."
"The meeting tomorrow afternoon? Nope, get down here now – like, yesterday to use your words. Bring Loki to Stark Tower. I'll meet you there. DO NOT let anyone see him. Hopefully the little time-out room I built for the hulk can keep him contained." Tony explained. "You'll get to me faster than I can get to you. Well, without anyone noticing anything is out of the ordinary."
"I hope I have enough gas for that." Robin replied. "Right. I do. Lucky, that."
"Good. ETA?" Tony asked, now pacing the office. He had to get a hold of Pepper and get her on this before SHIELD got a whiff of it. He had no idea why, but something about it all reeked of the time Thor had been sent to earth and stripped of his powers. After all, how the hell would a twenty something year old girl manage to knock out the same God of mischief that had bodily thrown him through a bullet-proof window? …Never mind that traveling via the Bifrost shouldn't have harmed him in any way. And if that was the case, well, Tony would rub his nose in it good and hard before he turned him over to SHIELD. Fury wasn't the one who nearly killed himself throwing a nuke into outer space and then suffered post-traumatic stress induced panic attacks ever since. …Not that Tony actually told anyone about all that. Except Pepper, of course. Even then it was only because of the nightmares.
"About three hours if traffic doesn't suck." Robin Replied. "But it probably will. It always does."
"Got that right. Did Reindeer Games say anything to you?" Tony added.
"Huh? You mean Loki? No, just what sounded like a 'Where the shit am I and who in the hell are you?'" She replied. "…And there's a cop. Goddammit. Bye." She said and hung up. Do not let her get pulled over, tony silently prayed as he dialed Pepper's emergency number.
"Peps, we have a code Loki. I need you and Rhodey to get High Point State park in New Jersey secured somehow and keep SHIELD out of there." He said in one breath before she even got the chance to answer.
"Wait – what?" She cried. "How do you expect me to do that? Tony, I - " She said.
"No time, just do it." Tony said and hung up. Forget the board meeting, he had some fine-tuning to do on Bruce's little playroom. Actually, he should probably call Bruce. The other guy was the only one who managed to kick Loki's ass pretty good the last time.
The cop didn't follow her. Robin breathed a sigh of relief. Her relief was short lived, however. Half a minute after she hung up on Stark, she heard a quiet moan from the seat next to her, followed by the sound of Loki's coat moving across the black leather seat. She turned the music down and bit her lip. Don't panic, don't panic, don't – Loki coughed and Robin quickly glanced away from the road long enough to see his eyelids finally flutter open. He rubbed his eyes blearily and looked around slowly. He looked as panicky as she felt. That couldn't be a good thing. She had to think fast.
"Um, hi." She said, deciding it was probably safest to play stupid. "So, uh. You like fell out of the sky and stuff. Yeah, are you hurt? You look like shit." Wow, very eloquent. No wonder you never get laid, she mentally berated herself. He did not answer, just stared out the window at the busy highway in rush hour. All right then. Silence was better than death threats, or worse. For a few very tense moments, neither said anything until Loki finally spoke up.
"Where are you taking me?" He asked, he sounded tired more than anything. Robin quickly realized that he probably didn't have the strength to actually do much. Thank God for small blessings.
"New York." She replied. There was no point in lying. He was awake now, so he'd figure it out sooner or later. Of course Loki would remember what New York looked like. "I work for someone there, you can stay at my place." It wasn't entirely a lie, but robin was nothing if not a good liar.
"That may not be the best course of action." Loki said quietly. "Or the safest for either of us."
"Probably not. It's a rough town and you look like you're a few months way too early for ComiCon. " Robin said in an agreeable tone. "So what's your story? It's not every day some guy drops out of the sky on top of High Point mountain." Again, playing stupid. It was probably best if he thought of her as an ally. He seemed to be scrutinizing her. She kept her eyes pointedly on the road and her expression carefully blank. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him relax a bit. Tricking the God of lies. Yeah, I've got this. I'm awesome, she praised herself mentally.
"It is a long story." He said offhandedly.
"We have a long drive." She replied nonchalantly. The more information she could get out of him, the better. After several more moments of potent silence, Loki finally started his tale. Well, he said nothing about New York. But he spoke of Asgard and Thor. Of fighting the Dark elves, and of attempting to destroy some sort of magic he called the Aether. In the end it could not be destroyed and Odin sought once again to seal it away. He didn't know where. It was probably for the better, Loki seemed not to trust himself not to try and harness its power for his own use. Apparently if mishandled it could destroy him. He went on, with some hesitation, to speak of his banishment and the removal of his powers. He did not mention his crimes specifically - only that he needed to "make amends" for something he had done here on earth. If he did he would be worthy of the spear, which he called Gungnir, and the throne of Asgard. He glossed over everything, leaving out many details. Robin wished she could have gotten more out of him about the Aether before he found out where she was taking him - while she still had some amount of his trust. She was willing to bet it had something to do with Thor showing up in London and the whole mess that happened there a few months ago. No one really knew what happened, but the characters that Thor fought sure had looked like these dark elves that Loki described. Well, from what they showed on the news anyway. Whatever the case, Stark would probably want to know about this epic space magic, if he didn't already.
Loki didn't know why he was telling her all of this. But it did truly seem that the strange woman was really helping him. If she was lying, or leading him into a trap – he could not tell. He was too exhausted to properly assess the situation. Either way, he didn't have much choice. She was small, but looked strong and certainly had an air of confidence. She wasn't his first choice of an ally by any means, but he had to have someone on his side. Especially now that he knew what being "mortal" felt like. He could not feel the faintest trace of his magic – not even the powers connected to his Jotun form. Vulnerable was the only word for it. Immortal or not, he would be a dead man if Fury or SHIELD got ahold of him in this state. After he said all that he wished to, they fell silent. The sun had long since set, and they now sat at a standstill as they waited to get into what the mortal called the Lincoln tunnel.
Robin actually had a reason for that, even though she preferred the GW bridge. If Loki wanted to try anything before they got into the city, she doubted he'd do it where the Hudson bay would come crashing down on top of him. While they were waiting, she pulled out her phone and texted Stark. "At Lincoln tunnel entrance. Should be there in about 20 if the traffic starts moving. He's awake but co-operating. Don't answer." She typed quickly and stuffed the phone in the pocket on the driver's side door where she was sure Loki couldn't reach it. He didn't seem interested anyway, he just watched the driver in the car next to them picking his nose as he read a Playboy. He made a snide comment about mortals and their lack of refinement. Robin snorted and shook her head, at least they could agree on something.
"So, you're really the Loki from all the Norse legends… That's awesome. Hey, you know, can I ask you something? You see, I'm actually a student of ancient religion so, I bet there's loads of things you could tell me about it that no book possibly could." Robin asked, desperate to break the silence. Deprived of his magic or not, she didn't want Loki to turn on her before Stark could (hopefully) save her ass. She was useless in a fight and she knew it. She had to keep him talking. He made a small sound of consent. "Right so… According to the stories, you're Sleipnir's mother. Did you really turn yourself into a mare and give birth to an eight legged horse? I mean, I'm just curious…" Robin bit her tongue, hard. Really? You asked that? To her surprise, Loki laughed. It wasn't much of a laugh, but he seemed to barely have enough energy to keep himself upright in the seat.
"No. I could, in theory, shape shift into a female body and bear a child. If I had my powers returned. I cannot shape shift like this. I doubt it would have eight legs, however. I am also not particularly inclined to try it. Bearing children, I mean. I do enjoy being a woman every now and then." Loki replied, thoughtfully. Robin didn't quite have a reply for that, but thank God he wasn't offended. Seeing as that went well, she decided to press her luck a bit.
"Did you tie your testicles to goat's beard at Skadi's wedding?" She asked, giggling. He turned to look at her, his eyebrows arched curiously.
"Yes. I was heavily intoxicated, much to my chagrin. I also once forced Thor to dress as a woman and pretend to be Freya. I sort of promised her hand in marriage to a frost giant against her will. Thor did not get found out until they made it to the bedchamber." Loki explained in the most serious tone he could muster. But the twitch of his lips did not escape unnoticed by Robin. Clearly this was a fond memory for him, though probably not for the 'Goddess' of thunder.
"Oh my… wow." Robin whispered.
"Have you any further questions regarding my tastes in debauchery?" Loki asked, a slight hint of humor in his voice.
"Uh, no." Totally do not want to know. Robin added silently, wondering if it was indeed possible for the mind to vomit. Thor in drag was not a pretty image, going by what she saw of him on the internet. They said nothing more for the rest of the trip. Though, Loki did look a little green as they passed through the tunnel. Obviously he wasn't very keen on the idea of being inside a narrow tube with a few miles of water on top of them. It was as she pulled up to Stark tower to find Iron Man waiting by the entrance to the parking garage, that the color vanished from his face.
Volunteering his time in the state-run clinic that looked after the homeless was thankless, and sometimes grueling work. But for Dr. Bruce Banner, it was a necessary catharsis that kept his head clear and his emotions in order. It also had the added benefit of at least making him feel that somehow he was slowly atoning for all the messes the other guy made. He didn't quite know if any of that applied to today, though. It started with a little Indian girl that was so sick she couldn't even lift her head to look at him. She reminded him painfully of the girl that Nastasha Romanov had gotten to trick him into meeting with her when he first joined up with the Avengers. Then there was the old man with the horribly infected wound in his foot. It would have to be amputated and Bruce sincerely doubted the state would want to pay for it. Basically, it had just been one of those days. And it sure didn't get any better when he saw the missed call and text from Tony Stark. That was never good. He ignored the voicemail and read the text. "There's a puny god due to arrive at my tower in a few hours. I could use some help, big guy." Bruce felt the blood drain from his face. He could only be referring to one thing. Loki. "I expect a better explanation when I get there in 15." He replied, typing furiously, and literally ran out of the office.
"Avenger's business." He said in passing when the secretary glared at him as he bolted through the packed waiting room. She always got angry when he left in the middle of a shift. Bruce would be willing to bet the oddly pidgeonish looking woman could give the hulk a lesson in anger management. …Or lack thereof.
When Bruce arrived at Stark Tower, Jarvis cordially informed him that "Mr. Stark is eagerly awaiting your arrival in the workshop". Quickly, he found his way to the elevator and pressed the button for the lab a little more forcefully than necessary. And there was stark – bent over the mess of a workbench soldering what looked like a pair of handcuffs.
"I'm here." Bruce said quietly and hung his somewhat shabby lab coat on the back of Tony's vacant chair. "Handcuffs?" He inquired, trying to mask his curiosity. Wouldn't it be better to just turn Loki over to SHIELD rather than deal with him themselves? Not that Bruce had any love for SHIELD, but they'd come for Loki the second they sniffed him out. The idea of being an obstacle was not something he wanted to entertain. Especially not concerning Loki, and Fury's bitter disappointment at not being the one to reprimand him.
"Sort of. Going by some of Jarvis's readings from the mess he made of my tower here, I'm trying to figure out a way to bind Loki's hocus pocus. I mean, magic isn't a thing, right? It has to be some kind of science. We just don't understand it yet." Tony explained. "Ok, so this is all probably useless and not going to do shit, but it's worth a try."
"Right. So, do you care to explain why Loki isn't facing Asgardian justice like Thor planned?" Bruce asked impatiently while he stealthily observed Tony's work on the magic-binding handcuffs. He had to admit, it was a pretty impressive concept. He wouldn't tell Tony that, however. Bruce didn't do ego stroking, particularly not when it was Stark. He was, after all, standing in the basement of a giant shrine wholly devoted to the man's ego. He listened intently while Tony told him about his new assistant, and her run-in with their least favorite bag of crazy cats in New Jersey. Bruce asked Jarvis to show him the energy readings and studied them with interest. It was definitely the same signature as the Bifrost points when Thor visited. He didn't know what to make of the spear, but he had a sneaking suspicion that like Mjolnir when Thor had been cast out, it wouldn't be able to be removed from where it had landed. Tony agreed when he voiced his opinion.
"That's what I thought. I mean, maybe he's here because Odin is naïve enough to think he can mend his ways. Who knows, Point Break thinks his little brother's good half is still in there somewhere." Tony replied, testing a joint on the cuffs. It snapped in his hands. He made no comment but picked up the soldering gun again. Silver was a great conductor, but not very strong. It was a good thing this was just a prototype. He'd have to see if a titanium or steel alloy could hold the necessary electrical current. "I'm thinking we need to hear him out before we turn him over to Fury. His 'silver tongue' didn't work too well on me last time and if all else fails, the other guy can fling him around a bit. I've been meaning to redecorate the third floor lounge after Thor dropped his God hammer of overcompensation on my marble tiles. Loki's pretty face can help with the removal of the old ones if you catch my meaning." Bruce felt a tug at the corners of his lips and relaxed by a fraction. The situation couldn't be that dire yet if Stark was having a jab at Thor's masculinity.
"All right. You know how I feel about him, but I actually think I might trust Fury less. For all we know, giving him to SHIELD could start a war with Asgard if he has him tortured or something." Bruce answered after a time. "I also don't think I can imagine a girl, or really anyone who doesn't have a green rage monster living inside of them being able to incapacitate him. What we will do, though? I mean if Loki is here to learn a lesson?"
"Well, we can let him try, I guess. I know that's probably not the answer you want. But you have to remember, if you add up all the deaths and pain caused by the weapons I've made… Loki doesn't look like such a bad guy next to me. And I got a second chance, because I had people who believed in me and gave me that chance. If Loki wants to turn his life around, who I am to stop him? I'm a lot of things I'm not proud of, but a hypocrite isn't one of them." Tony told Bruce, his tone serious. "But if he puts so much as his left pinky toe out of line he's getting wrapped up with a pink bow and shipped back to his daddy. Most likely first class with tracking to Asgard, because honestly he's not worth paying overnight shipping for. The same also obviously applies if he isn't here to make nice." He added with a hint of his usual sarcasm.
"You know, I don't mind. I got a second chance too. But we should keep this between us and Thor if he shows up. I doubt the others will be willing to forgive him, no matter how much he tries – if he tries. SHIELD will have to be told eventually, though. You know how Fury gets when you keep secrets from him." Bruce replied, still contemplating the energy signatures from the Bifrost point.
"Yeah, I get suspicious and hack into everything he loves. Then I steal his tech." Tony said with a bark of laughter. Bruce chuckled and shook his head. He liked Tony, even if he annoyed the living hell out of most people. The thing was, Tony wasn't afraid of him. He didn't mince his words and make it a point to try not to piss Bruce off. Nor did he regard him as a lab rat that should be researched. He could be himself around Tony, and their mutual love of science had made them fast friends.
"Sir, Miss Sheffield will be arriving in approximately two minutes. I am also detecting the presence of Loki Laufeyson, currently marked as hostile, but his usual energy signature is different from the records. He is still a dangerous criminal according to the SHIELD database. Extreme caution is advised." Jarvis' voice suddenly alerted them.
"Jarvis, mark Bambi as a civilian for now. Open the parking garage and get the Mark 42 ready, just in case. Bruce, follow me but don't go green if you don't have to. Collateral damage and all that." Bruce wordlessly threw his lab coat back on and grabbed the handgun he knew Tony kept hidden under the work bench as he waited for him to suit up. Then the two of them went outside and waited until a late model black Grand Am pulled up. Tony nodded to Bruce and he motioned for the little redhead driving the car to pull into the garage. Loki sat in the passenger seat. Bruce could see that his eyes were wide and his face was paler than usual. He clutched the pistol in his pocket tightly, praying he wouldn't need it. …Or the other guy's help.