Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma Saotome, Serena Moonstone, Usagi Tsukino, Bunny Tsukino, nor any other variant of Sailor Moon, I do not own hello kitty, I do not have any rights to the characters in this story. However, My Ideas are my own, go figure.

A twisted Tale of Ranma

Chapter 2

Written by Gabriel R. Lopez

Mara's transportation medium was circles, any circular object from a toilet bowl to a compact disk could easily transport the demon from one location to another, unfortunately because some people take a joke too seriously, Mara had earned the reputation of being known as the toilet fairy… and since watching Ranma was favorite schadenfreude pastime on Niflhem, Mara was now the laughing stock of the entire underworld.

Obviously since Mara was granting a demonic wish it would be granted with the full force and authority as any heavenly wish, with one exception, Yggdrasil had already established the wish was redundant and it was obvious to everyone except Ranma that he would never go through with any wedding his father arranged. Therefore the wish was wasted, and since Mara didn't have to do anything to make Ranma's life miserable her job was completed in a matter of seconds… at least that's what she thought.

Mara walked into her luxury apartment somewhere in Tokyo, on every wall, and in every room there was hello kitty merchandise. Mara had become obsessed with Hello Kitty, from the time she first witnessed the bizarrely shaped feline, she knew it was the second coming of the Anti-Christ. Mara's obsession with the coming of her dark lord and master extended to realms beyond midgard, as she had also purchased the World of Warcraft: Hello Kitty expansion pack. She was still trying to figure out why she paid 15 dollars a month to constantly get destroyed by the Demon Knight KronoSkuld. Mara's thoughts of eventually destroying Kronoskuld were cut short when her hello kitty cell phone started ringing.

"Hello?" Mara asked

"Did you grant Ranma's wish " It was Hild…the big boss.

"Well, my eyes didn't glaze over, my markings didn't do anything special, and there was no spectacular light show , but yeah I granted his wish. Why, is there a problem?" Mara was confused

"Yes, and no…you said granted, even though Yggdrasil rejected the wish." Hild then cleared her throat

"I don't follow" Mara was beginning to worry.

" let's just say its in your best interest, to keep an eye on Ranma for the time being" the conversation ended Mara wondered what the heck that was supposed to mean.

Elsewhere….

"WAHHHHHHH!" the demon of unrequited love cried, anyone unfamiliar with this teenage boy would say he sounds like a big sissy…of course anyone familiar with him, knew his true name was Ryoga, and in order to explain his presence in hell on the weekends Hild gave him the unofficial title as a joke, even gave him the scrolls for the Shishi Hokodan. The reason he was behaving like a big whine baby was because he was recently dumped by Akari. No, she didn't dump him officially, he came to this conclusion all on his own. He knew she had dumped him for her pet sumo pig Katsunshiki, who was clearly Ranma in disguse … Honestly, hugging her sumo-pig, and scratching him behind the ears, and kissing him on the forehead. A sane person would have realized Akari had been treating Katsunshiki like a pet. Not Ryoga, he was jealous. Akane did those sorts of things with p-chan all the time while they were dating. Ryoga's face turned into an expression of anger as his mind had once again altered the state of reality to blame Ranma. He failed to realize Akane was unaware that he and P-chan were the same being, but then again Ryoga was not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

"RANMA THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Could be heard throughout Kyoto. Then Ryoga smirked evilly as he thought of the little surprise he had in store for Ranma.

Meanwhile…

Ranma sneezed in a horrible cliché, as he put on his tuxedo…stupid toilet fairy getting his hopes up like that, and then and then to just leave him twisting in the wind. The chaos that is Ranma's life had him in a tuxedo less than 15 minutes after making his wish. "what the-" ranma soon realized he was dressed like a penguin "What the heck am I wearing?" Ranma asked no one in particular as he looked at the digital clock on the nightstand in the guest room. Although he could tell 15 minutes had passed since he went into the bathroom, for the avatar of chaos it was as if he was in the bathroom one minute, and the next it was as if someone beat him over the head with a shovel.

"it's called a tuxedo son," Soun, and his parents appeared as if by magic…damn that

toilet fairy! "you have to dress appropriately for your wedding."

"My what?" Ranma had a 'oh hell no' look on his face.

"Son, Akane has consented to the wedding isn't that wonderful?" Genma slapped Ranma on his back shoulder in congratulations. Ranma was about to kill his old man when he noticed his mother was there as well.

"oh, my son is so manly. My how dashing Ranma looks in a tuxedo."

Mara stared in horror at the television screen in her apartment as Ranma finished his bow tie in the mirror. "Frak me! FRAK ME! how stupid could I be!?" of course being a demon Mara used a more colorful language than was acceptable for people under the age of 18, however the language she spoke was more frequently spoken by 13 year olds and Sailors.

Mara had to do something quick, or she would be…thoughts of the tentacle monsters and dolphins singing "I love you, you love me" in the section of hell that was reserved for a certain large purple dinosaur sent shivers down her spine. It was at that moment that she had a real monster of a bad Idea, well a bad Idea was better than no idea at all. Mara Quickly rushed into the bathroom and flushed herself down the toilet.

Moments later she came out of a vortex through a donut hole Ryoga was eating. Ryoga wasn't sure at first, but somehow his was Ranma's fault. "Quickly, we don't have much time. I need you to help me stop Ranma from getting married." The blonde ordered.

Ryoga stared at the woman. She was obviously another one of Ranma's fiancés, how Ranma could string all these women along never ceased to amaze the fanged martial artist. And, now Ranma had just ruined his enjoyment of a freshly baked chocolate glazed donut with sprinkles. "FOR RUINING MY HAPPINESS, I WILL DESTROY YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL RANm-"

"Yeah, yeah, save it for the wedding jackass." Mara grabbed his collar as she dragged him through the donut hole only to reappear moments later escaping from the Tendo family royal throne. Ryoga and Mara landed in a heap on the bathroom floor. Ryoga then got to his feet and with the assistance of Mara managed to get lost three feet from where the wedding was taking place. But soon Ryoga heard the terrified screams of civilians, being a hero Ryoga smashed through the nearest wall launching Genma Saotome face first into a wedding cake. The scene was total chaos, and it appeared Mara didn't need to ruin the wedding after all, The Nermia Wreaking Crew had done an excellent job on their own. Mara was in shock, there was no way she was going to get herself further involved in this insane asylum.

It was at that moment Ryoga noticed the cask of naniichuan "Nanniichuan HERE? RANMA YOU BASTARD!" Ranma must have had a cask hidden at the dojo the whole time, it made perfect sense now. Ranma tricked him into falling in love with Akari, so that he could keep the only remaining cask of Naniichuan. "RANMA PREPARE TO DIE!!!"

In the midst of all the chaos a man spotted Mara, her foreign appearance, her flowing blonde hair, her nice big juicy boobs. "Sweeto!" The man cried as latched himself onto her chest, and that's when it happened the cask and all its contents drenched a very angry toilet fairy and the parasite clinging to him…

Judging from the red and black aura coming off the creatures body, it was safe to assume he was male, and royally pissed off. He slowly peeled off Happosi, the grand pervert of anything goes. Hapossi was mumbling in fear, for the first time in a hundred years he feared for his own life, and was using the Saotome crouching tiger technique to his advantage "Oh please forgive me great and powerful-"

"SHUT…UP." Mara-kun growled in a voice that made effective use of both sets of his vocal cords. Everyone stopped fighting except Ranma and Ryoga who were still duking it out. If she could summon a ball of lightning, rest assured Happosi would have been dead in an instant. As it stood she, or he, Mara ,or whatever 'it' called itself now had wasted so much energy she barely had enough to rip the perverted master apart molecule by molecule. within a matter of seconds, a huge magical ball of ki was headed straight for both Happosi and Mara-kun. The disaster was averted however when it was intercepted by the brawling Ranma and Ryoga, the two had rolled in the path of the oncoming attack. Ryoga on top of Ranma when he turned to see what had terrified his rival.There was a blinding flash of light. Then nothing. All that was left of the two matial artists was a charred hole in the ground.

Of course it was Haposi's most trusted students, Genma and Soun who came to the rescue of their master by producing a scroll that would open the gateway to a parallel dimension called the moon kingdom. A horrifying place that was supposedly filled with uber powerful man hating lesbians, the scroll was 10,000years old, give or take a century or two. They had been waiting for an opportunity to destroy their master once and for all, unfortunately he was rarely distracted from their schemes. Genma and Soun quickly summoned as much ki as they could manage to destroy the thing and their master and then fired the blasts with a unified cry of "BREAKFEAST SERVED EVERYDAY CHEERY SODA HEART ATTACK" of course if you translate it into English the attack sounds really ungodly stupid, but in the ancient tongue… anyway the attack was a success, only it vaporized the wrong demon and martial arts master. It would appear that Ranma and Ryoga were tragically vaporized. Oh well, C'est la vie.

Mara-kun, having seen two humans with demigod like power vaporized decided to get lost while the getting was good, and found the nearest circular object through which she or whatever it was used to escape. Haposi had a heart attack and never made it out of the hospital, Genma and Soun weap over the loss of Ranma. The fiance's moved on with their lives. Akane never figured out that her P-chan and Ryoga were the same person, and after searching everywhere for him. Nabiki and Kasumi felt sorry for Akane, so they found p-chan's doppelganger at a flea market and then pretended to run over her with a car. And, so it was Ranma and Ryoga never returned, but this is only the beginning of a whole new adventure.