Decide that there's a point to all this and walk over to him, knees atremble and tongue going dry in your mouth. It isn't something you want to do, but rather something you have to do. Things are going nowhere here and you are much too sick of being seen as the fragile little girl caught crying on the cover of Times magazine. You're sick of being the poster-child for the greatest disaster that ever happened in the Heartland. Watch him stare at you and feel your breath catch. He smiles and makes it that much harder for you. Take a breather and gather your thoughts, he's only human; he's only Clark Kent.
The Talon is swamped and he offers to help. Refuse him. Think of all the times he's let you down, all the times he's pushed you away. Shake your head in aggravation because it doesn't work; only brings back the memories of the fun times you had and the numerous instances he's saved your life. Go back to the kitchen and clear your head, because heaven knows you need to. Clark makes you want to stay, makes all your plans collapse. You take too long and when you come out, he's gone. Coward; you decide that's what you are.
Chloe comes in and she looks at you sadly. She's been sending you the puppy eyes since she found out you've decided to leave. She walks over and you wonder if maybe you should walk the opposite direction, take the road of avoidance because it's easier. Decide against it, and sit down beside her. She's like the sister you never had. The closest thing you've had to a family since you moved away from Nell. She mentions that she saw Clark leaving and asks if you've told him yet. Shake your head, no. Keep your face impassive, like it's not a big deal. Like this isn't tearing you up inside. But it is, and she knows it.
It is three days before you see Clark again. He looks tired and forlorn, and for a moment you want to drop everything and maintain the status quo but you are stagnating there and you have to get out. Open your mouth and start talking, because it's better to just get it all out; quick and painless like pulling a band-aid off your skin. He looks confused, asks if it's because of him. Shake your head, tell him it isn't even though for the most part, it really is. Tell him that you're sick of things here, that you need to get out. Smallville is suffocating you with the restrictions and the judgment and the memories of the past.
He is the only one who can possibly talk you out of this. Tell him so, and wait for his reaction. He gazes sadly at you, and for a minute you wish he would say something, anything. But he doesn't, and you look awkwardly away before walking off.
Go home to Chloe's and try to sort through your things, really just looking for something to do. Wonder if you've really made the right decision.