The two men ducked inside, heaving the doors closed behind them. Hopefully these too wouldn't be disintegrated by the wayward robotic u-bend unclogger on their tail.

"It's bigger on the inside!"

"Lord give me strength… You said that the first time."

"Yeah, but I was pissed then."

Rik hoisted a satiric eyebrow midway up his forehead and advanced further into the TARDIS, exploring every surface and console in the vain hope of finding the button marked 'on'. He didn't know how they had managed to start it at all in the first place, or why he and Ade had decided it was a good idea to go look in the blue phone box that had mysteriously materialised in the pub garden. All he remembered were the angry shouts of the man who had parked it there as they drove off in it… and now this…

"Help me look for an instruction manual, there must be one somewhere." Poking around the considerable expanse of the otherworldly vehicle's interior, he came across a rather snazzy brown trench coat. After shooting a shifty look around he picked it up and slipped it on, his nose wrinkling up in disgust when he found he couldn't do it up. Whoever it belonged to must have been one skinny bean pole. He was about to take it off again when the contraption heaved alarmingly to the soundtrack of "Exterminate, exterminate!"

"Fascist!" Rik roared at the top of his voice, thrusting two fingers up at the closed door. "Have you found that instruction manual yet?"

"Yes indeedy do… It says 'ong wong wong, oogy boogy doo be de bop chikachikachika squiggle'…"

"Are you holding it upside down, Ade?"

"…Yes. Silly me." Ade flashed a sheepish grin, somehow managing to retain balance as the TARDIS began rocking more violently. "Ah, this makes more sense. Now it says 'gno gnow gnow, ygoo'…"

"Give it here." Making his treacherous way across the floor, the latest Doctor snatched the hefty tome out of his companion's hands, his cheeks sucking in over his cheeks with annoyance when his eye fell on the page. "Ade, this is in Chinese. Glasses."

The man reluctantly handed them over and received a painful jab in the eye. Through drastically blurred vision he watched as yet another push rocked the TARDIS, knocking Rik over into the main console bank. He fell against a lever, pushing it up and pressed several buttons trying to get back on his feet. This was followed by flashing lights, strange whirring noises and the feeling of vertigo that usually accompanies rapidly ascending lifts.

Outside, the TARDIS disappeared before the Dalek's very eyepiece.