In an instant she was out of my arms and across the room, crouched in a defensive position. Her eyes were red and hungry as they darted through the occupants of the room. Confusion plagued her beautiful features and wrinkled her brow. Her eyes widened and she gulped in surprise.

"Bella, are you okay?" I said gently, extending a hand towards her.

Her eyes, still frantically searching the room, grew wider and she flinched away from me. Her mouth curved into a perfect o and she struggled to find words.

"What… who…?"

"It's alright, Bella. You're one of us now. The pain is all over." Esme cooed.

"Who are you?"

The words stunned us. We all froze, gaping at Bella's confused stare. Was she making some kind of a reference to the fact that she could see us all much more clearly with her new eyesight? I hoped so.

"Come on Bella, we don't look that different." Emmett joked from across the room. Obviously believing that her acting skills had improved with her eyesight.

Her stare grew frightened after a moment. She was serious. She didn't remember us.

My heart plummeted. This had never been expected. She didn't know us… she didn't know me. Her own husband!

"Oh no."

"Bella, do you know where you are?" Carlisle spoke. That was classic Carlisle. Always thinking and keeping things together.

"No."

"Do you remember anything?"

"No. I remember the pain… but… who are you?"

"My name is Carlisle, Bella. Can I ask… do you know who this is?" He gestured to me.

Her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second before she slowly shook her head. "Should I?"

I couldn't hear anymore. The breath whooshed out of me in a loud gasp and I covered my mouth with a shaking hand. She locked her bright red eyes on me again for a split second before I darted out the door. I paid no heed to the condition of the house or the screen door as I burst out the back and sprinted into the woods. I ran for what redefined my opinion of eternity. Sobs escaped me at regular intervals and my chest heaved with emotion.

The tree's whipped by me at top speeds, reminding me of Bella's weak request for me to focus on not hitting the tree's on the day that I first brought her to the meadow. Calling upon that memory opened up the flood gates to every other memory that I used to cherish. All of those times… the best moments of my existence… were mine alone, now. No longer could I share them with the only person I would ever want to share them with. She didn't remember. She didn't know how much I loved her. She didn't even know that I was her husband.

The sobs overtook me. If I had ever felt alone before, it was nothing compared to what I felt now.

The eternity of love and devotion that I had been so ready for had been smashed completely. The thought of my Bella, scared and seemingly alone in a house of people that she didn't recognize… staring at me with utter blankness on her face… I couldn't bear it. Seeing her eyes so vacant of the love that I had grow so accustomed to crippled me. I never thought I would have to exist in a world where Bella didn't love me. I knew that I would never stop loving her, and she had promised me the same. We hadn't planned for this.

Devastated, I crumpled to the forest floor and let my body slacken against the damp leaves and brush. I wrapped my hands around my legs and buried my face in my knees.

So this is how Bella felt when I left her. Alone and unloved and completely helpless.

I knew I was being unfair. This wasn't Bella's fault. I should have been at home right then, helping them try to jog her memory. I was probably the one who could help her remember the most, and I knew that. I just needed a moment to clear my head. Seeing Bella's empty eyes hurt me more than I could have ever imagined and I needed some time to calm down before I could return to that.

My phone rang.

Alice.

A sudden misplaced rage built up inside of me as I answered.

"Why didn't you see this!"

She was silent for a moment.

"Edward, come home."

That was all she said. The line went dead.

I suddenly was overcome with remorse. I shouldn't have yelled at Alice. This wasn't her fault either. I wasn't ready to return yet, but it was necessary nonetheless. I shouldn't walk out on my family now, and I especially shouldn't walk out on my wife.

If Bella saw me the wreck that I was, it would certainly not help her remember any faster. She needed to see me the same way she always saw me… even if she couldn't remember it. I stood and brushed the leaves and earth from my clothing before taking off in the direction of home.

I ran across Jasper's path on my way home and it didn't take me long to catch up to him.

"What is going on?" He demanded. "Alice sounded devastated on the phone."

I met his eyes for one agonizing moment as he read and fully comprehended the emotional turmoil within me.

"I… she…"

"What's wrong with her?" He understood, slowing down to better accommodate a conversation.

"She doesn't remember, Jazz. She doesn't know anyone… she doesn't know me.."

I felt the denial spill out of his thoughts like acid. I listened to the biting no of disbelief as he thought it. I tried so hard to keep it together. I had never really shown any emotion around Jasper before. I knew he could feel it anyways.

He felt this, now. This paralyzing anguish that had consumed me. He knew what I felt and he only knew one way to try to help me. I saw our embrace in his head before it actually happened, but that did not hinder it's effect on me. I collapsed into his shoulder, a thunderous sob ripping from me. He clutched my shoulders tightly and supported me when I needed it the most.

"I know, Bro. I know." He promised as he patted my back in an awkwardly comforting manner. Somehow, the fact that he did know, and not just pretend to know… he actually knew how I felt, made me feel less alone. Less like the mad-man that I was quickly turning into.

"She has to remember." I pleaded silently to myself.

"Maybe she just needs a few days…" He encouraged Either way, you being out in the forest beating yourself up over this isn't helping her any.

"I know." I responded to his unspoken statement. "We need to get back."

He nodded and clapped me on the back again in encouragement before we started running.

With each step that drew me closer to Bella, my nerves went into overdrive. I began to panic. What if she didn't like me this time around. What if she was afraid of me?

I continued worrying over the never ending stream of 'what ifs?' until we ascended the porch and walked through the already repaired screen door.

Alice was the first one to greet us. She swooped in and greeted Jasper with a discreet kiss and linked her fingers in his as she explained to him what he already knew. He listened patiently, reacting in all the ways he knew Alice would want him to react until she finally turned her attention on me.

"And before you ask.." she snapped, "No I can not see Bella's future."

"Why?" I mused.

"Carlisle thinks he knows. He is waiting to see you in his office. Go." she dismissed me.

I wanted to find Bella. I wanted to see her at least one more time, but I knew that seeing her wouldn't do me any good right now.

"Come in." Carlisle welcomed as I raised my hand to knock on his door.

"Edward." He greeted. "Welcome back."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry about… how I acted earlier. I shouldn't hav-" He waved off my apology with a flick of his hand.

"I understand, son." He assured me.

I matched his gaze for a moment. His thoughts were swimming with concern for Bella, but more than that, for me. I saw Bella in his mind, where she was now. Esme was in our bedroom… Bella and I's bedroom with her, getting her new clothing and explaining to her everything that she could in the least frightening way she could manage. I should be there, I knew that. I should be helping explain to my wife what she couldn't remember. It was my fault. I should never have changed her. I should never have run, either. I should have stayed with her no matter how much it hurt me to see her look so afraid of the family that had accepted her as their own without a second thought.

"I think I might know what happened to Bella." Carlisle's voice jolted me out of his thoughts.

"Oh?" I considered momentarily just listening to the thought-out version of his explanation, knowing it would be faster, but I also knew that Carlisle would much rather verbalize things like this, so I let him.

"Bella's mind has always proposed a problem to us before." He began, "The privacy of her mind had always rejected the mental powers that we possessed. It is my belief that her insusceptibility was also valid when it came to our venom. When the venom reached her brain, her brain fought back. It didn't want to accept the venom and succumb to the change like it should have, it resisted. Of course, our venom being what it is, there was only so much fighting her mind could do before it was exhausted. It put up a fight for three extra days, and when she finally became completely changed, her brain had been so over-exerted that the memory was severely damaged."

It made perfect sense, of course. Carlisle's theories rarely added up to anything less than the perfect explanation.

"And as for Alice…" He continued, "She's not attuned to this new Bella. She was attuned to the old Bella… the Bella who knew us… but its much harder for her to catch glimpses of her future now."

"Is there anything we can do?" I asked. I knew it was a long shot. I knew that the likely answer was no, but I had to ask for my own sanity.

"Edward, the likelihood of her memory returning is a very slim chance.. If not completely nonexistent. I would like to be able to promise you that she will get better, but I can't do that. It is up to you to make her understand and make her fall in love with you again. None of us want to lose her, but there is only so much we can do to keep her here. She feels no connection to any of us and if we want her to stay with us… she needs something to keep her grounded."

I nodded… holding back the panic and sobs that built up inside of me.

"You need to re-acquaint yourself with your wife, Edward. And you can start by going with Rose and Emmett to teach her how to hunt."