Post Date: 17 June 2008
Revision Date: 21 June 2009
If I go crazy,
then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well,
will you be there
holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side
with my superhuman might
Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down
Chapter Two: Kryptonite
Some people think I'm crazy.
I'm not; not really.
I mean, yeah, sure, the curse scar on my forehead gives me a link to the Dark Lord that's currently trying to destroy practically all Wizarding kind, so I can feel his thoughts and emotions, among other things. And, yeah, I love – loved – my godfather to death (literally), even though he's the supposed betrayer of my parents and the reason they're both dead. And, of course, I've got the self-esteem issues of a house elf (even though I fully blame the Dursleys for that).
But I'm not crazy.
I mean, I can't be. Merlin forbid if the Wizarding World's saviour is insanely twisted.
No. He's Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the epitome of Gryffindor, Perfect Potter, firmly ensconced in the Light, without a trace of Darkness in his entire being. He's the saviour who will vanquish the Dark Lord and save the entire Wizarding World from their doom.
Crazy isn't in the job description. Sorry to disappoint.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'm not crazy after all. It certainly feels like it at times, let me tell you. The times when my head feels as if it's about to burst with all the stupid emotions I have – grief, anger, guilt, and the like – and I just want to fucking scream at the entire world… those are the times where I feel like nothing's going to be all right again, that nothing's going to turn out okay and that everyone's doomed. Sounds a little pessimistic, doesn't it?
But I can't be pessimistic. Harry Potter isn't pessimistic. He's a bloody optimist, seeing the good within the bad, finding hope where others find despair, laughing when the world looks bleak. Merlin forbid he give up hope. Because we all know what would happen if the Saviour gives up hope.
The Wizarding World will crumble.
Not that I would complain. The leaders of the Wizarding World are idiots, doing things for the good of themselves and only thinking of the people when there's something in it for them.
It's too bad that I'm supposed to be one of those leaders. Ha. Yeah, right. I wouldn't ever become a willing figurehead for the Wizarding World even if you paid me.
Merlin knows I don't need the fucking money anyway.
I wonder, though, what the people of the Wizarding World would do if they thought their Saviour was crazy. Or Dark. Or anything that ruins their beautifully painted picture of what the Boy-Who-Lived should be. Would they ignore it, saying that he was doing it all for the betterment of the world as a whole? Or would they just turn on him, slander and ridicule him, lock him up and throw away the key without a care, never mind the fact that he's supposed to be the only one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord?
It's times like these when I wonder.
And it's times like these when I think I really am crazy, after all.