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I Want to Hold Your Hand

Shots of Seattle.

Meredith (voiceover): Heartbreak affects us each differently. It's so colossal that sometimes it's all we can think about.

Cut to Nurse's station. Derek is talking to Nurse Olivia. Meredith walks by wheeling a patient. Derek watches her sadly.

Meredith (VO): For some of us, it's easier to pretend we never were in love or that we're better off alone.

Cut to the OR. Christina is operating on a patient, looking very intense.

Meredith (VO): For others, it's about whatever gets you through the day. All we have to do is cope.

Cut to hospital. Izzie, smiling brightly, hands a basket of muffins to Dr. Bailey.

Izzie: Here, Dr. Bailey. I made these this morning so they're fresh from the oven. Pumpkin. My favorite.

Bailey: (accepts the basket and furrows her eyebrows) Uhh…thank you, Dr. Stevens. (Camera pans out to reveal Alex, Cristina, and Meredith) Okay, people. We've got a busy day today. I need two of you to go and collect a heart from a donor at Mercy West.

Izzie and Alex both look up. Bailey nods at them.

Bailey: Karev, Stevens, up to the helipad. (Alex and Izzie rush out) Yang, you're scrubbing in on a coronary angioplasty in five minutes.

Christina: (pumps fist discreetly) Yes!

Bailey: Grey, you're with Dr. Sloan. Three burn victims just came in so I assume you'll be collecting skin grafts. Now move! (Christina and Meredith exit)

Dr. Richard Webber enters. He stands next to Bailey, who is now looking at the surgical board.

Richard: Full board today, Bailey.

Bailey: (smiles) Yes sir.

Richard: Looks like things are starting to pick up around here!

Top of the hospital. Izzie and Alex are standing near the helipad.

Izzie: So do you think you'll see her?

Alex: See who?

Izzie: Don't be stupid. I know you've thought about. What's it been, a week since she told you she was leaving?

Alex: Ten days. (Izzie raises her eyebrows at him) Okay fine, you're onto me. But that doesn't explain why you're going, does it?

Izzie: Any excuse to get out of work, right?

Izzie starts walking towards the helicopter. Alex watches her skeptically.

Inside hospital. Meredith and Mark are walking down the hall.

Mark: So you're really not going to tell me what's going on with you and Derek? What happened to the confidence of the Dirty Mistresses club?

Meredith: I am a reformed dirty mistress and you are…still dirty. (Mark grins) The club has been disbanded. Besides, it's none of your business what I do in my personal life.

Mark: What if I wanted to make it my business? (waggles his eyebrows)

Meredith: Stop. Derek is supposed to be your former best friend.

Mark: So there is something going on with you and Derek.

Meredith: That's not what I said!

Mark: Well fine then. Just take these samples to the lab, and find me when you're done.

Meredith walks away. Mark watches her.

Mercy West office. Addison is sitting at her new desk. She hears a knock on her door.

Addison: Come in.

An attractive male doctor comes in. He has a Mediterranean look; short black hair and blue-grey eyes. He extends his arm to Addison.

Man: Just wanted to stop in and introduce myself to the new chief of surgery of Mercy West Hospital. I'm Christopher Gordon, neonatal surgery. (Addison shakes his hand and smiles)

Addison: Yes, and you have been out for the past week –

Christopher: At a conference in London. And I'm familiar with your former practice.

Addison: Well great, I guess that means I'll be seeing you in surgery.

Christopher: You bet. I'm sure I have plenty to learn from one of the few neonatal surgeons who can separate fetal blood cells. (He winks. Addison laughs and looks down at her hands.)

Mercy West hospital. Izzie and Alex are exiting an OR. Alex is carrying a cooler.

Izzie: Alright, we got the heart. Ready to go? (looks at Alex) Okay, you have five minutes to go find Dr. McHottie. Meet me back here. (Alex smiles) Go!

Alex exits. Izzie looks around her. Further down the hallway, she sees George exiting a patient's room. She rushes over.

Izzie: George!

George: Izzie? What are you doing here? Do you work here or something?

Izzie: (face falls) Uhh no. Alex and I took the helicopter over the pick up a heart.

George: Where is he?

Izzie: Umm he went to the bathroom. Look, George, I volunteered to come over here today because I really needed to talk to you -

George: (looks around) Not here.

George pulls Izzie's arm down the hall.

Mercy West Linen Closet. George opens the door and pulls Izzie inside.

George: Izzie, I'm sorry we haven't talked since the wedding. Things have been crazy and Callie and I –

Izzie: (quietly) Have been trying to have a baby I know. (George looks confused) Callie told me. That's why I came today. From the get go, I never took the two of you seriously. And that wasn't fair to you, George. But you guys are starting…a family…and that's pretty serious. So I'm walking away. I love you, you know that, but I can't wait for you to leave your wife and I certainly can't compete with a baby…so…I'm out of the running. I hope that someday when all of this is behind us we can look at each other and smile. But until then…goodbye George.

Izzie kisses George on the cheek and exits the closet.

Shot of George's face, stunned.

Mercy West hallway. Izzie closes the door behind her. Runs her fingers through her hair. Shakes her head and starts walking away.

Another Mercy West hallway. Alex is walking quickly, looking around. At the end of the hallway he sees Addison through a window. She is smiling and shaking hands with an attractive male doctor. Alex stands there for a while, watching. Finally he turns and walks away.

Nurse's Station. Mark sidles up to Derek, who is reading some papers.

Mark: Bailey assigned me Grey this morning.

Derek: (tenses) Oh yeah?

Mark: What's going on with you guys? She was a wet blanket all morning.

Derek: That's none of your business.

Mark: Come on, Shepherd. You used to come to me all the time with your lady problems.

Derek: Yeah, until your "solution" to my problems was to sleep with my wife!

Mark: Aww, I thought we were moving past that.

Derek: We are. Look, you and I are fine. But I am still not going to talk to you about my relationships.

Derek exits. Mark looks down and sees Dr. Bailey sitting at the Nurse's Station.

Mark: No one's feeling very friendly today, huh? (grins)

Bailey: (gives him a nasty look) Not when it comes to you snooping around in everybody's personal life. (Bailey grabs her charts and exits)

Hallway. Meredith sees Derek walking towards her and quickly hides in an empty room. After Derek passes, she leans her head on the wall and sighs.

Another hallway. Christina turns a corner. Alex runs into her and grabs her arm.

Christina: (looking annoyed) What?

Alex: I was just wondering when you were going to let Meredith come home. You seem to be holding up fine and I'm a little worried about Izzie, I think she could use another female around the house.

Christina: Hey, buddy, I'm not making Meredith do anything. (Alex looks at her) Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.

Christina rushes off.

Seattle Grace OR. Izzie walks out of the OR into the viewing room. She removes her surgical mask and throws it in the garbage. Colin Marlow enters, frowning. He has blood on his scrubs.

Colin: A heart transplant is a very difficult procedure…we can't save every patient.

Izzie nods.

Izzie: So what should I do now?

Bailey enters.

Bailey: Uhh…Doctor Stevens, go find Doctor Torres in the clinic and see if she needs any help. Page Doctor Karev and tell him Doctor Shepherd and I could use a hand in OR 3. (They exit)

Free clinic. Callie is setting the bone of a patient. Izzie enters and sees her. She stops walking, takes a deep breath and continues.

Izzie: Doctor Torres, Bailey sent me down here to see if you needed a hand.

Callie: Yeah, sure. There's some suturing that needs to be done at beds four and five.

Izzie sits down by the bed next to Callie's and begins stitching up a patient. Callie begins cleaning up her station while her patient recovers.

Callie: (to Izzie) I'm sorry about your heart patient.

Izzie: Oh, you heard?

Callie: Yeah. Well, you can't win 'em all.

Izzie: Right. (concentrates on stitches)

Callie: (looks up at her patient) We'll prescribe you some minor painkillers and then you're good to go.

Patient: Ugh, I can't believe you actually take pleasure in setting bones.

Callie: Most of the time I don't. But in less than an hour, I get to go and pick up my husband from work. (she smiles to herself) We've been trying to have a baby.

Patient: (smiles) Congratulations. There's nothing greater than a happy family.

Izzie looks up from her suturing and glances over at Callie.

Burke's apartment. Christina and Meredith are folding laundry.

Christina: Mere…look, you don't have to stay here anymore. I'm fine, really.

Meredith: No, I want to be here. You're my best friend and you're going through something nobody should ever –

Christina: (interrupting) Meredith. I don't really want to say this… but I'm going to anyways. You need to leave. It's not doing either of us any good to wallow together. Besides, I don't really wallow. You do. And it's kind of bringing me down. And I'm saying this all because you're my friend and I love you, but I think it's time you starting dealing with your problems instead of focusing on mine. (Meredith nods, hurt but understanding) Go see Derek.

Meredith: No, I really don't want to see Derek. But, I get what you're saying. I'll go.

Meredith exits and Christina watches her go, worried.

Hospital hallway. Derek exits an OR and pulls off his scrub cap. Mark is leaning against the counter of the Nurse's Station wearing his leather jacket.

Mark: Hey, Shepherd. You look like crap run over twice. What do you say I buy you a drink?

Derek: (pauses) Just let me change.

Derek exits. Mark smiles.

Meredith's kitchen. Izzie is pouring two glasses of red wine. Hands one to Alex, who is sitting on the other side of the island.

Izzie: Long day.

Alex: (sighs) Tell me about it.

They both sip their wine and are quiet for a moment. Finally, Izzie slams her glass down, spilling some wine.

Izzie: Dammit Alex! What are you even doing here? You have someone out there who you care about and you're sitting here with me, moping? No, it might be too late for some of us, but you have to go see her. You have to go see her and tell her how you feel.

Alex: Iz, she doesn't want me.

Izzie: She does want you! You just screwed things up by making her think you didn't want her. You can still to fix this. And believe me, if you don't say anything now, you'll spend every day after wishing you had. (sighs and looks down at the counter) And it will be excruciating. And I know you don't think so, but you deserve to be happy.

Alex looks down at his glass while Izzie grabs a towel to wipe up the spilled wine. He finally gets up, grabs his keys, and paces around the island to kiss Izzie on the cheek.

Alex: Don't wait up.

Alex exits. Izzie continues to clean the counter and starts laughing. Her laughing quickly turns into sobbing. She rests her head in hands and takes a few deeps breaths. She looks up to the sound of the door opening. Meredith enters.

Izzie: Hey.

Meredith: Hey.

Izzie: So, are you…back?

Meredith: Yeah. (looks around) Can I have some wine?

Izzie smiles and pours another glass.

Addison's hotel room. Addison is on her bed reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, looking puzzled. She hears a knock on the door. She gets up and opens it to reveal a breathless Alex.

Addison: (very surprised) Karev! What are you doing here?

Alex: I just had to come by and say a few things. Can I come in?

Addison: Uhh…yeah…sure.

Addison shuts the door behind him and watches as he paces a while before turning back to her.

Alex: Okay… (takes a deep breath) okay. Listen, I know you think that all I want from you is sex (Addison winces) but that's not why I'm here. See, the reason I was such an ass before was that I didn't think I deserved someone like you. And I knew the second time I told you no that I had killed any chance I had ever had. But when we talked in the church, and you said yes, again, I was willing to take whatever you would offer me. Because just to have one piece of you would've been enough for me. But not anymore. (Addison frowns) Here's the thing. I can't settle for just one little piece of you anymore. I want it all. And I know this might sound like a load of crap right now but if you'll just give me a chance –

Addison looks at him sadly and raises her hand to cup his cheek. Their faces get closer. Suddenly, her pager goes off. Addison checks it.

Addison: (sighs) I have to go. I'll be back in an hour. Just stay here, make yourself at home. The minibar's unlocked.

Addison hastily exits.

Joe's bar. Derek and Mark enter, smiling.

Derek: Is this really a good idea?

Mark: Of course it is. Besides, since I came to Seattle you've been neglecting your wing-man duties. I need someone to keep all the ladies off of me.

Derek: Like you could find any.

Mark: (grins) It's good to have you back. Come on, I'm thirsty.

They amble over towards the bar, Mark's hand on Derek's shoulder.

Callie and George's bedroom. Callie is in bed reading a book. George crawls in beside her.

George: Ugh. Nice…cozy…bed.

Callie: I hope you're not too tired…

George: Who me? No way…

George leans over and kisses her. He leans down and nuzzles her neck and she wraps her arms around him, laughing. Camera pans up.

Hotel. Addison uses her key to unlock the door to her room. Door opens to reveal Alex sitting in a chair, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He looks up when Addison enters. Addison closes the door and leans back against it as they stare at each other. Finally, Alex stands and walks over to Addison. Their eyes stay locked as he slowly brings his face closer and brushes his lips against hers. They stare at each other for another moment until Addison closes her eyes and kisses him back. Alex's hands come up to cup her face. Her hands come up to cover his hands.

Shot of Seattle.

Meredith (voiceover): In the aftermath of a tragedy, we all have different ways of coping. Drinking –

Cut to Joe's. Mark and Derek are seated at the bar. Mark is chatting up a cute bartender while Derek looks on, amused.

Meredith (VO): -a good joke-

Cut to Meredith's house. Through the window, the camera shows Meredith and Izzie laughing and drinking.

Meredith (VO): -sex-

Cut to Callie and George's bedroom. Callie and George are in bed making love.

Meredith (VO): -or diving into our career.

Cut to Cristina and Burke's apartment. Christina enters looking exhausted with her jacket and bag slung over her arm.

Meredith (VO): But sometimes coping isn't even a possibility when life decides to throw you an unexpected curveball.

Christina reaches the kitchen counter, looks down and frowns. Camera pans down to reveal a key – Burke's key. It's obvious that he has been at the apartment.

Grey's Anatomy

Soundtrack to this episode:

Broken Social Scene: "7/4 (Shoreline)"

Andrew Bird: "Heretics"

Tegan and Sara: "Not Tonight" (Ending scenes starting with Addison and Alex)