-1"Now that your staying in the tower for a while, X, I'll have you know that there are a few rules that go with it."

"I want a llama."

"Didn't you say your name was Spencer?"

"You should know. Your mom was screaming it allll niight loooonnggggggggg."

"I highly doubt it."

"You don't have to believe it. Just as long as the possibility of me being your bona-fide father doesn't scare you."

Robin blinked, and I couldn't exactly tell whether he actually seriously thought about it or not.

Haha, dumbass.

"As I was saying..."

Maybe Robin didn't have a twitching problem. Maybe he just had little mini seizures all of the time. Kinda like that one guy I met that one time, in this one place.

"What do llamas eat, anyway? Straw?"

Robin glared at being interrupted again. Gawd, be could be a bitch sometimes.

"No touching things that aren't supposed to be touched."

I swear to fucking god, he's just setting himself up for these!

"No going into places that you aren't supposed to go."

...

"And just in case you ever run into any trouble, make sure you carry protection at all times."

I choked up with laughter, which of course earned me looks from the circle of pubescent heroes, but fucking seriously! Could all of them really be that stupid? I guess nobody ever lets heroes in on the whole birds and bees thing, somebody needs to throw them a friggen limb out there.

Might as well be me.

"Hey, guess what."

All of them looked at me, of course.

"Vagina."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Now, this is a Kodak moment.

"Robin..." I heard Starfire ask, in that dumbshit tone of voice. "What is this...vagina...that Red X speaks of?"

What the fuck? What the hell is it called in that fucking universe?

"Yeah, Robin," I egged on, highly amused and ready for how Boy Blunder would dig himself out of this one. "What is this...this vagina? A state or something?"

Robin shot that glare at me, the same exact glare that I see him give Slade.

Pf, Slade. Another creeper in the book right there.

Robin turned a bright red as Starfire continued to stare at Robin innocently. Well, with her outfit, you think she'd be used to conversations like these!

"I...uhhhh...I have to go train!"

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen him run so fast in my life.

I thought it was pretty great, how they could stare death in a face,

but Robin runs away at even the word vagina.

Yup, I confirmed to myself,

He's totally gay.