cruise XIII Chapter 2: geting there is hell in a handbasket, a kingdom hearts fanfic

GETTING THERE IS HELL IN A HANDBASKET

TIME: 5:30

LOCATION: Org. minivan

Xemnas sighed. He never knew how annoying or tireing driveing to the docks could be. 'Great! Anymore nobodies in this thing, It'll explode!' Mansex thought. It was true. All 13 of them and their lugage where cramed into that thing. Vexen had shotgun, reading something about feet; Axel, Roxas and demyx where in the in the front row behind him, singing 'I like big butts', behind them where Xigbar, Xaldin, lexaeus, and luxord where playing go fish; in the last row was zexion, marluxia, siax and larxene, playing road kill bingo.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "will you three shut up?!"

Xemnas rolled his eyes and looked up into the mirror. Meanwhile, Xigbar and Xaldin were shooting or stabing little innocent creatures they happened to pass on the road, lexaeus and luxord where playing polker, while a certan keyblader just had to start singing sexyback. "kingdom hearts strike me dead where I sit." saix siad, geting to the point where he wanted to stangle him. He shrugged and stared out the window.

Even though he was the one prone to going bezerk over the littlest things, he was still thinking about haveing a heart. Daydreaming go the better of him while the rest of the organization went into a tailspin.

"aw! come on xemmy! just turn on the radio!" demyx whined as the batterys died in his cd player.

"I said no number nine." mansex replied, geting red in the face.

"please?"

"no"

"pretty please?"

"I said no!"

"Oh come on!" demyx reached for the radio, turning it on only to hear a horrific tune pissing xemnas off.

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
I think your special, what's behind your back?
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.

He wasn't the only one pissed, Larxene looked up from her bingo card, with the murderous intenet in her eyes. She thew a kuni at the radio, almost xigbar in his good eye, changeing it a even worse song.

Well you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind

Saix, looking really creeped out, reached over to the "sound box of doom" trying to find something better that what was playing. Unfortunely it was to "my milkshake"

My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like "It's better than yours"
Damn right, It's better than yours,
I can teach you, but I have to charge

Demyx swayed along with the beat, but was short lived when Xaldin, who was geting annoyed, stabed it untill it was no more. Demyx wore a forlorn look on his face, while the rest of the group sighed in relefe. "at least that's over with" xigbar said with his head and dual sniper out the window. "uh..xig? what are you doing?" Zexion asked as xiggy was aiming for something in the air. "Giant bird little dude! This'll be on hell of a trophy!" BOOM! "RAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!" "Uh-Oh." what was comeing out of the sky above them was not a bird. It was long and serpantine, had five toes on each claw, snow white carp-like scales and a dog like face and was spialing down toward them. "catch it!" marluxia yelled as the "thing" hit the car's sun roof and fell into xigbar, Xaldin, luxord and lexaus's lap while it's really long tail rested on vexen and xemnas.

"what is that montrosity?!" marulxia asked in a panic. "don't look at me! but I think it's from the land of dragons." Xaldan said as it blood dripped onto the floor. "I don't care what that thing is just stop it from bleeding!" xemnas yelled nowwith his livesaber out. "give it to me" zexion said reaching over the seat and lefting it by the head. "it's female." he siad.

"how do know?" larx said dryly.

"short horns" zexy simply replyed.

Siax looked over it. The thing was atleast 40 ft and was bleeding badly. "bandage it up" he said thowing him a roll of cloth and some glaze. "whatever." zexion tended to the injured thing as axel, demyx and roxas looked on in aw. "ooooo! shiney!" roxas said as he grabed it's tail (which was srangleing mansex) and started tryed to keep it from smacking him the face. "let me try!" but it was too late, the thing was already trashing from the sting of the glaze. "GET THE DAMN THING UNDER CONTROL!" larxene screamed trying to bat it away from. axel grabed on to it's hind leg trying to pull it down, only to be slashed in the face by it's claws while marly was trying to get a hold of it as it whent over toward saix. "get away from me." he snarled. It smiled at him as if it was a little girl and curled up on the floor undered the seat. "whoa. I never knew fangface could calm it down" larxene snickered. the curious thing started slithering around the car near vexen and started nuzzleing him.

"I'm geting way to old for this" he muddered as it turned towared xemnas. "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" he yelled at it. With a whimper, slithered back toward saix and coiled around him shakeing. "why. me." Axel was trying to keep himself the snickering dispite the pain in his face when a 20 dollor bill got slaped right in his face. "HEY WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" he yelled. it snickered in reply. "I bet laughing at your hair axel." luxord said as it fell asleep. "at least that's the end of that." xemnas sighed.

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Three hours had passed after the "drake" as zexion called it had joined them in the car. they there all asleep except zemnas as night started to fall. the drake was asleep among the lugage; larxene and marluxia were drooling, xigbar was snoreing; saix and xaldin where proped up by the window; axel, demyx and roxas where in a pile asleep; Luxord had a ryoal flush in his hand and sleeping during polker game with lexaeus who was also asleep and vexen was curled up in the chair. Xamnas looked like liveing dead and already had three cups of coffie, he wasn't to excited about this anymore. 'are you alright?' "what?" A quiet voice entered his mind. "who's there" 'the one you told me to go away.' he turned around to see the drake bearly awake looking at him.

"I admit that I yelled at you. your a threat to us."

'why? my kind are peaceful.'

"I don't care."

'your mean!'

"I know I am"

'and a manwhore!'

"what did you just say?!" He got no reply, the drake had gone back to sleep among the lugage, with a redish tint in it's scales, but he couldn't tell because darkness of the night. But he had a bad feeling that something was gonna go very,VERY wrong.

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Morning had arived. The sun was shineing, the organization members where finaly at the dock where the cruise liner ,called the S.S Jokster and everyone was full awake...well...almost everyone.

Xemnas was now whiped out. He litterly fell out of the car and whent to sleep on the ground...out cold. "my god what happened to him?" marluxia said sarcasticly. "14 hours of driveing does that to ya." xigbar said opened the trunk. His good eye widened seeing the unexpected, a woman just about axel's age but almost as tall as saix was just wakeing up among the bags in a nightgown as white as her hair was siting among the bags.

"what time is it?" she said rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"what's takeing so- what the?" axel said with a nosebleed

Roxas looked at him, then at the woman and asked. "what's your name?"

"lunix." she replied. Saix came to the scene and started geting the bag, ignoreing lunix. She got out herself and left to the boat, but not with out giveing a good kick "down south" to xemnas leave him in the fetal position whineing in pain leaveing axel to say as he got up "this'll be one hell of a vacation"

(reads over fic) I know this chapter is short but please bear with me, hopefuly the next one with be longer and any and all ideas are accepted! so please review!