Time flew by and they weren't even near figuring things out. It seemed like for now all they had to do was stay alive, just survive long enough. Alice pushed the thoughts of giving up away and brought Jack some food as he was taking care of the man with the shrapnel all the time now and he clearly didn't think of saving himself for a change.

"How is he?" she asked when handing the doctor a plastic plate full of fruit and then sitting by his side.

"Thanks," Jack said when accepting the meal and then he answered her question somberly, "He's not responding to antibiotics. I counted a perforated lung and some internal bleeding and that's just the tip of an iceberg."

Alice truly didn't know what to say to that. The man seemed to be beyond saving, yet Jack wasn't giving up on him, hoping that something would work, hoping for a miracle. She actually felt guilty when watching his struggle. There she was, most of the time wishing she was dead while somebody else was fighting for his life with all he got.

To change the topic, she picked up a piece of paper from a makeshift table.

"What's that?" she asked and unfolded it just when Jack warned her not to. It was too late, though. She already saw the mug shot. What more, it belonged to Kate.

"He had it on him," Jack informed with a sigh. "Apparently, he's a marshal. When he was awake, he told me not to trust Kate. He warned me that she's dangerous."

Alice frowned in disbelief, now actually feeling relieved that it was Kate who was the criminal among them and not someone else.

"I don't think she is," she then told Jack and he looked at her in surprise. "I've spent a day with her when we went to the mountains. She seemed all right. If she wanted to do something to us, she would've done it by now."

"Well, maybe you're right," Jack admitted. "We have bigger problems anyway." He looked in the direction of the tent where his patient was resting.

"How's your back?" Alice asked when standing up.

"Very good, actually," Jack said, looking up at her with a smile. "Somebody sewed it up pretty damn well."

She smiled right back at him and then she put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently before walking away.

During sunset, Alice heard Jack and Kate arguing near the tent. She managed to make out Kate asking Jack to put the marshal out of his misery, but Jack responded angrily, telling the woman that he wasn't a murderer and then he stormed away.

Alice chose that moment to come over to him. "Jack, maybe you should just let it go," she said gently, trying to speak to his mind.

"I can't, Alice," he answered in a broken voice as he shook his head. "I can't let go. I'm supposed to be saving people."

"But what if you can't?" she asked. "You can't save everybody."

"I have to try. It's my job." After having said that, he looked at her one more time before slowly making his way back to the tent. Suddenly, a shot rang out and Jack looked at Alice in panic. She only reciprocated.

"Kate!" he yelled, but it wasn't Kate who walked out of the tent. It was Sawyer.

"What did you do?!" Jack screamed at him.

"What you didn't have the guts to!" the blond answered.

Before Jack managed to answer him, the marshal started moaning in pain all over again.

"The hell?" Sawyer asked in surprise.

"Where did you shoot him?!"

"I aimed at his heart!"

"Well, you missed!"

Alice couldn't seem to move. She watched Jack coming back into the tent and then the moaning grew stronger until it stopped altogether. She understood that the doctor finally put the man out of his misery just as Kate had asked him to. She also knew that this time it was really too late and Jack knew he couldn't possibly save him.

Once he emerged from the tent again, he was shaking and she ran over to him, ignoring Sawyer still standing there, now in deep shock.

"Jack," Alice started when getting to the doctor, but he pushed her away.

"Not now!" he screamed and only fastened up.

It was the middle of the night when Jack found Alice sitting alone on the shore, watching the dark ocean.

"I couldn't sleep," she told him once he joined her.

"Yeah, me, too. Listen... I want to apologize. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You were only trying to help. You were right... I... I really can't let go. I don't know how to. Most doctors would've long given up..." His eyes were actually glassy by the time he got it all out and then he winced, trying hard to stop the tears from coming. In the end, he wasn't able to and Alice did the only thing she could for him - she pulled him into a hug.

"I can't let go," he repeated and let her embrace him.

Eventually, both of them parted to go get some sleep when not saying anything. They didn't have to, really. Jack's eyes told Alice everything she needed to know. He was grateful that she was there for him. And she was really glad about that because while she was worrying about him, while she was helping him, she felt like she still had a purpose and she didn't have the time to brood over her past.

The next day brought an unpleasant task - the dead bodies needed to be taken care of because they actually started to smell. The survivors couldn't possibly dig over forty graves, so Jack suggested burning the bodies at sunset. With a little bit of luck, a plane or a boat could actually spot them and come to their rescue. Alice didn't really believe that, but the task at hand at least kept Jack busy and prevented him from thinking about the previous night. She tried to help as much as she could herself. She really did, but in the end the horrid sight was a little too much for her and she was grateful for the distraction when Claire came over, asking if Jack could lead a memorial service for the dead. He wouldn't do it. Alice by now knew him enough to guess that he would say no. He handled the living best when fixing them. Caring for the dead wasn't really his job anymore.

"Why don't you do it?" he asked the pregnant blonde.

"I can help," Alice offered eagerly.

"Really?" Claire smiled to her brightly. "That would be great."

"It'll be my pleasure. I don't think I can spend another minute among these..." the word bodies somehow didn't want to escape her mouth.

As she began helping Claire sort through all the passports and personal belongings, she spotted Jack coming over to a black woman who'd been sitting alone ever since the day of the crash. Alice smiled when seeing the doctor joining her, keeping her company. Yes, Jack was most definitely better with the living.

The sun finally set and they started a fire to burn the bodies. Claire took the lead and organized something resembling a service. She didn't know any of the people on the plane, but she did her best to say something about every single one.

Alice couldn't find Jack among the crowd and she really needed him at the moment. The funeral on the island was too painful for her and she wasn't sure she could stay till the end. She didn't want to do it, she didn't want to remember, but in the end she couldn't help the memories rushing back to her.

The night had long fallen when she came to the beach to scatter the ashes. She didn't want anyone to see her as she was pretty sure that what she was about to do was illegal. Only she had to do this. It was their biggest dream to visit Australia, to see the kangaroos. And the only way they could do it together now was this.

"I miss you so much," she said. "I miss you every day... I don't know what to do without you," her voice broke.

When it was all done, she sat on the cold sand and started crying. She truly had no idea what to do with her life now and how to go on. Alone.

Eventually, she stood up and left. She had a plane to catch in the morning, after all. She was coming back to Los Angeles and then... she simply didn't know.

Alice wiped a stray tear from her face. She needed to get away from the fire and the bodies. She finally spotted Jack sitting alone on the shore and decided to join him.

"Are you ok?" she asked when sitting right next to him. She only hoped that he wouldn't tell her to leave him alone. "You didn't come to the service," she then pointed out when he remained silent. A few more seconds later she added, "All right. I see you'd rather be alone. I'll go."

She was just about to do that when he said, "This will sound crazy, but I saw my father in the jungle today."

Alice hesitated before asking, "Was he on the plane?"

"Yes... at least his body was," Jack answered. "He died in Australia and I went there to claim it."

"Did you find it after the crash?" Alice wanted to know, now just feeling confused.

"That's the thing, I didn't. I just saw him standing right there." He pointed a spot not so far away from where they were sitting. "I know it's crazy. I know that it had to be a hallucination caused by the lack of sleep and anxiety. It just... rattled me and I couldn't join the service. I can't bury him, Alice," Jack looked her in the eye. "And I wanted it all to just be over back in Sydney. I can't bury my own father and I just want it to be over."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jack," she said and touched his hand. "For what it's worth, I know what you're going through."

"Did you lose someone, too?" Jack asked gently. That would explain a lot, he thought. There was something tragic about Alice, some kind of pain visible in her eyes even when she was smiling. He'd actually been wondering about that, but was afraid to ask too soon.

"Yes," she admitted when letting go of his hand and looking at the horizon in front of her. "I lost my entire family in a car accident. I had a twin sister..." she confessed and then her voice trailed off as though she was now focusing on the painful memories. Still, she needed to get it out. She needed to tell someone. "We weren't like most families. We actually liked each other. That day... that day we were going on a trip. A truck came out of nowhere as they usually do... my parents were killed on the spot. My sister..." Alice's voice broke. "My sister died on the operating table because the doctor on call made a mistake. And just like that... I was left all alone. I came to Australia to scatter their ashes because it was always our dream to take a trip there." By the time she finished, she was already crying and Jack wanted nothing more than to put his arms around her, to comfort her, but then he only gasped, her tale stirring something in his memory.

He was finally able to speak after a minute or so. Maybe he shouldn't, he hesitated, maybe it would be better if he didn't. He didn't want to lose her. He didn't want her to hate him.

"My father's name..." he started and stopped, then decided to just get it over with. "My father's name was Christian Shephard and mine is Jack Shephard." He could already feel her stilling beside him, but he didn't have the courage to face her just yet. "I thought you looked familiar," he continued, "but then again... that girl was dead and I never looked into the details. I only saw her briefly on the operating table after she died. My father was suspended... I'm so sorry, Alice," Jack's voice broke again. "He escaped to Australia, ashamed… thinking that his family was ashamed of him, too; thinking that he was nothing but a disappointment to us. And he was... he really was... especially to me," Jack confessed it all.

Alice couldn't say anything to that. She was still in deep shock, her heart beating too fast in her chest, causing her to feel dizzy, overwhelmed. She still couldn't believe this crazy coincidence. How come she and the son of the very man who'd caused the death of her twin sister, had been on the same plane? How come he was here with her right now, that they were so close? How was that even possible?

"Alice, I'm so..." Jack started again, desperately wanting to be there for her, wanting to help her, but he knew that in this case it might be crossing a line.

"I need..." she then said weakly, but kept avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry, I need to be alone now." She raised to her feet and walked away, crying her eyes out.

She remembered the pain... the smoke burning her eyes...

When she came to, she was confused. For a while she thought that she simply woke up in the morning like any other, but she quickly realized that it wasn't the case. Her head felt heavy, aching; her limbs hurt and there was something sticky plastered to her forehead. When she put her hand there and then looked at her fingers, she noticed blood. And it all came rushing back to her. There were screams all around her and the smoke... She sat up on the hard concrete and moaned in pain. Somebody must've moved her here, gotten her out of the car. She saw the wreck a little further ahead and two strangers. They must've stopped on seeing the hit and run on the road and now they were just carrying her sister out of the destroyed vehicle.

Alice remembered the truck that had barreled into them and then... nothing.

The men brought her sister to her and Alice was terrified because Annie wasn't conscious.

"It's all right," one of strangers addressed her then. "The help's on the way. Just try not to move, ok?"

Alice opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Then, finally, she managed to ask, "My... parents...?"

She saw it on the men's faces before they even said it.

And then the wreck blew up and Alice started screaming.

Later on, she found out that her parents had been dead long before the explosion, taking the worst blow when the truck collided with their car.

Miraculously, Alice walked out of that accident with only a few bruises.

That night Jack had even more trouble sleeping than usual. He was too worried about Alice. He wondered if she would ever speak to him again. Technically, he wasn't responsible for her sister's death, but it was still his father who'd caused it. And he'd seen what his father had been doing, hadn't he?

When morning came, Hurley got to him before he even managed to leave his tent.

"There's... someone... someone's drowning and I... I don't swim!" the big guy informed in an erratic voice.

Jack didn't ask any questions, he just sped towards the ocean and jumped into the water. Eventually, he reached Boone. The moment he grabbed the guy, he heard a woman screaming for help further away. He couldn't possibly save two people at once and he was already hauling Boone, so he made the hard but unavoidable decision to come back to the shore.

Once his feet touched the sand and Hurley helped Boone out, Jack screamed, "We have to go back for her!" He was terrified that the woman was Alice, that he wouldn't be able to help her just like his father hadn't helped her sister; that she was upset when she'd gone for her morning swim and caught a cramp. She was a good swimmer, so that was the only explanation that came to Jack's mind.

"What woman?" Hugo asked Jack with a frown.

"There! In the water!"

"Jack, there was only me," Boone said and Jack stilled, looking at the younger man in shock.

"What?"

"There was no woman," Boone repeated. "I went for a swim after a fight with Shannon and I caught a cramp. That's all there was."

"But I heard..." Jack came to a sudden stop when he spotted Alice approaching them. She wasn't drowning. In fact, her clothes were dry and she looked like she'd just woken up.

"Is everything all right?" she asked in confusion, but then Jack only perplexed her more when he came over to her and hugged her, wetting her clothes.

"Jack?" she asked in an unsure voice when he let her go and his eyes fixed on something in the distance. "Jack, are you all right?" Only he didn't answer her. Instead, he ran towards the jungle. "Jack!" He did not stop.

He saw him again and this time he wouldn't back off. This time he would go after him and solve this once and for all. He was going to finally face his demon if that was the only way to make it disappear.

When he entered the woods, Christian Shephard was standing there, his back turned to Jack.

"Dad?" Jack asked shakily and then suddenly, the man faced him.

"You have to save her, Jack," he said and when Jack blinked, his father was just gone.

"Save whom?!" Jack yelled, but no one answered him. "Dad!" Then he saw his father again and followed him.

The day was hard with Jack running away with no word of explanation – even if Alice kind of suspected what or rather whom he'd seen – and with Claire collapsing while talking to her. Alice immediately called out to some men so they would help transport the pregnant woman to a more shadowed place. Once she wanted to give Claire water, she discovered that there was nothing left and she had another brief moment of panic. Another one when she wished she'd died along with her family. It would've saved her a lot of misery, after all.

In the end, Jack interrupted the beginning of a fight among the survivors, coming back and informing that he'd actually found a stream. After making sure Charlie gave a bottle to Claire, Alice retreated and sat down near the shore just like Jack had done the night before. She was kind of hoping he would come to her.

And he did, bringing her some water as well.

She accepted it with a smile. "That was a nice speech about living together so we wouldn't die alone," she said when taking the much need gulp of fresh liquid. "You seem to be a born leader, Jack. They listen to you."

"My father never thought so. He kept telling me that I didn't have what it took," Jack admitted. "I'm sorry," he then added. "I shouldn't..."

"No, it's fine, really," Alice cut in when looking at him. "I am not angry with you, Jack. It wasn't your fault. She wasn't your patient. I saw you with all the people here. I saw how you helped them, how hard you tried. You're kind and good. It wouldn't be right to judge you by your father's mistakes."

"Still, I feel horrible and I felt that way when it happened, too. I wished so many times that I'd been the one on call that day."

"But you weren't and it's no one's fault," Alice told him when taking his hand. "I'm just glad you're here now," she confessed when removing her hand and then looking him in the eye. "You have no idea how much you've already helped me," she then told him. "In fact, I have no idea what I would've done without you. I..." she stopped, wondering if she should tell him the whole truth, but in the end something prompted her to just do it. "I wanted to die, too, Jack. I couldn't stand being left all alone and I wanted to die. When the plane was falling... I thought good, I want to die, bring it on, I just want it all to end. I was the sole survivor of that car accident and somehow I survived a plane crash, too."

"Maybe we were meant to," Jack just said. "And remember that you're not alone anymore. I'm here." He reached for her hand again. "And I'm not going anywhere," he added when looking her in the eye. Then he suddenly realized what his father had told him earlier in the jungle. Shortly after it happened, Locke saved his life and encouraged him to follow his white rabbit that was Christian Shephard. He'd done just that. And his own personal white rabbit had told him to save her. To save Alice. It all made perfect sense now, even though Jack was a man of science, not faith.

Notes:

I decided to go with Hurley when it came to telling Jack about Boone drowning, because it didn't make any sense with Charlie who – hello! – died in season 3 after swimming into the Looking Glass station. Hugo fitted best. Also, did I plan to name the OC Alice so she would fit into this chapter? Nope. But sometimes things just happen as they're supposed to and the puzzle fits all on its own.