Sorry this chapter took a while to arrive, I forgot to update! :S Anywayy, I just realized that I also forgot to put a disclaimer in the last chapter, so here you are: I don't own any of the characters, plots or settings in this story, in fact I don't own anything except the crap I made up. Also, I don't own Victoria's Secret.

This chapter is a lot shorter than the first one, but I hope you like it!

Chancellor Palpatine's office was a large, circular room in the topmost spire of the Senate complex, with a spectacular view of the sprawling city. Today, Palpatine was sitting at his wide desk in front of the huge windows, loudly chomping on donuts while several unfortunate Jedi Masters crawled around, searching for the lost toenail clippers.

'So, what's this Separatist war thing?' he asked in between bites. 'The Senators were discussing it, but it's the first I've heard of it.'

Mace Windu pulled his smooth, bald head out from under a nearby chair, his bad mood only increasing at Palpatine's ignorance. 'Chancellor, we've been telling you about it for months now!' He paused to stare wide-eyed at the subject of his speech, who was meticulously clipping his toenails with a red lightsaber. Noticing how everyone was staring at him, he asked innocently, 'What?'

Mace decided it would be counter-productive to make any remark whatsoever, and went back to groping around on the carpet. 'Do you think it will really come to war, Master Yoda?' he asked.

The diminutive, green Master Yoda, who was sitting in the rubbish bin, closed his eyes and felt the flow of the Force around him. In the distant future, he could see only blurry, indistinct shapes; nothing was certain. However, he was alarmed to see that Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi was going to accidentally steal his lunch.

'Impossible to see, the future of the war is,' he said wearily, shaking his head. 'But see other things, I did.' He glared suspiciously at Ki-Adi, who licked his lips nervously.

At that moment, Padmé stalked into the room, her brow furrowed in obvious annoyance. She immediately set to work upturning vases in the search for the toenail clippers. Yoda turned towards her with difficulty, thanks to his uncomfortable position in the bin. 'Sorry for your loss, I am,' he told her quietly.

Padmé glowered into a crystal vase. 'Yes, it was a very expensive bra.'

Everyone looked slightly apprehensive, except Ki-Adi, who was otherwise occupied with a slice of old pizza he had just pulled out from under the sofa.

'Uh…' croaked Yoda. 'Your handmaiden I meant.'

'Oh!' Padmé exclaimed, eyes widening in understanding. 'Cordé. Oh, yes. She was wearing my bra at the time.'

Yoda nodded uncomfortably, and they continued their search in silence. After a few minutes of turning the Chancellor's office upside down, Mace gave a cry of mingled disgust and delight; he had discovered the toenail clippers hanging off the ceiling fan. Not even wanting to think about how they'd got there, he returned them to the Chancellor's desk. Then, clearing his throat in an attempt to regain his characteristic dignified air, he said, 'We think disgruntled spice miners are behind the attack.'

Palpatine glanced up from his vigorous toenail clipping. 'What would spice miners want with my toenail clippers?'

Mace glared at him, breathing violently through his wide nostrils. 'No! I meant the explosion of Senator Amidala's space-' He fell abruptly silent as a rogue toenail clipping struck him on the side of the head.

Padmé shook her head, deep in thought. 'I think Count Dooku was behind it.'

Master Yoda and Mace exchanged skeptical looks. Count Dooku was a former Jedi who had left the Order many years ago, and was therefore an unlikely suspect, despite his involvement with the Separatists. Besides, he was over seventy years old; he was getting far too old to do much but sit around playing bingo.

Gingerly rubbing the spot where the toenail clipping had hit him, Mace snapped, 'What would you know? You're just a stupid politician!'

Palpatine decided that, as Chancellor, it was his responsibility to prevent his colleagues from killing each other. 'We should get you some bodyguards, Senator Amidala,' he said loudly.

Padmé's head whipped around to face Palpatine, who recoiled slightly. 'I already have eight bodyguards! All they do is drink my coffee and throw parties in my house!'

The Chancellor stared thoughtfully out the window at the towers and spires of Coruscant. 'How about if it was Obi-Wan Kenobi and his apprentice?'

Surprised at this suggestion, Padmé considered it seriously. Obi-Wan had been a good friend to her during the Naboo war, and it would be nice to see his apprentice as well. What was his name again? Allan? Adrian?

Sending a shower of toenail clippings everywhere, Palpatine stood up. 'It's settled then! I'll call them up.'

Relieved that he could finally get back to his important Jedi business, Mace walked over to the rubbish bin and extracted Yoda from amongst the mess of donuts, paper and broken glass. Ki-Adi Mundi finally managed to pull his double-domed head out from under a chair, and they moved eagerly towards the exit. As they reached the door, Mace turned to see that Palpatine was already on the phone.

'…And two supreme pizzas please. Thankyou.' He put the phone down and leaned back into his chair contentedly.

Mace growled. 'Idiot!'

He whirled round and marched out the door to his follicle appointment (he was trying to grow back his hair). Ki-Adi followed him on his way to wash the pizza out of his own sparse, grey hair, while Yoda hurried off to remove his lunch from the fridge before Ki-Adi could get to it.

Padmé sat down on a plush velvet couch to wait. Noticing that the room had gone strangely silent, she glanced over at Palpatine; he was snoring quietly with his head resting on his arms. She sighed, shaking her head, and walked over to the desk to contact Obi-Wan herself. What a bunch of idiots her colleagues were.

Haha, I loved making Palpatine so stupid. I also love picking on Ki-Adi Mundi; there's plenty more where that came from. Please review, and tell me what you think!