Chapter 2: To Love or to Lust
The end of the week came far too fast, with little more than formalities exchanged between the lord and his guard. Worse, it came with unexpected news rather than a commission. Aedan's heart sank when he heard the commission was, once again, going to Fergus instead- another notch on his sword rather than a first on Aedan's. Rather than travelling north with a compliment small enough to justify excusing himself often with Ser Gilmore, who was to be acting as his first officer, Aedan was to go to Amaranthine and attend yet another banquet in hopes that he may meet someone before his father felt pressed to make a match.Glorious, he thought sarcastically to himself. Still, the news did afford an opportunity despite his sinking heart. In delivering the news to Rory, perhaps he'd know what it all meant for the other man.
With that purpose in mind he set out to find the guard in question. Aedan found Rory in the company of the guard captain as well as nearly a full compliment. Great, he thought dismally, preparing his silver tongue for the task of prying his lover from watchful company without raising suspicions.
He approached, a formal and meaningless smile spread wide across his lips "Captain, I'm afraid I'll need to speak with Ser Gilmore privately for a moment, assuming this is nothing of particular urgency."
"My Lord, this is highly unusual," protested the captain.
With a thoughtful, regretful, and utterly fake expression Aedan continued "Teyrn's orders I'm afraid, regarding the commission he is to set out on at first light, can't be avoided and it would be best not to delay," he explained apologetically.
Ser Gilmore himself looked suspiciously on the other, but followed along regardless. It was not usual for Aedan to raise suspicions in any way, let alone ask for a moment in private in the middle of the day surrounded by guards. Still, Rory was given leave and he followed his, not many options left to him after that appeal. He was lead out to the stables, arguably so they could speak without interruption, but he had his doubts.
"So, what's the emergency?" Roland asked, arching a brow at the somewhat taller man.
"I've lost the commission, you'll be marching with Fergus," he started slowly, careful not to put too much of his own emotion in the statement, searching for Rory's.
"And you couldn't have told me this in front of everyone? Maker, my lord, you raise questions for nothing."
Aedan's heart sank a notch and he couldn't help but spend a moment or two with his gaze in the general vicinity of Rory's kneecaps with his jaw set. "Maybe I thought it would be easier to get an honest reaction in private, sorry for the bother then" he pronounced, looking up to the other's eyes with a newly stone expression.
"Well it's not like it's anything new, your father's always keeping you from commissions. What's on your mind?"
Aedan groaned softly at the mere thought of it "Amaranthine, Howe's daughter and some women lady Landra picked out, some nonsense. I just, I was looking forward to being away from prying eyes is all."
"Well, it has to happen eventually doesn't it?" Rory asked, always the voice of reason. "The arl's daughter is beautiful anyway, you should be glad your father's letting you choose your match."
"Pretty enough, sure, but I have to say she—lacks the proper parts."
"Oh I'm sure the people of the Bannorn would love that, we're not in Orlais, Aedan, sometimes certain protocol must be adhered to."
Aedan scoffed slightly and grinded his teeth on the inside of his lip and his cheeks "so you won't miss me?"
Roland sighed softly and took the other's hands into his own. He looked into Aedan's eyes "I'm going to the coast not off to the wilds, it isn't like I'll never be coming back, Maker knows I'll probably be working in this castle until my last breath."
Aedan felt determined to get a response of some emotion, not more talk of duty and how unfortunate it would be if Rory was trapped forever by his side. Determined to have something, he decided that the knight should miss his body, if not his company. He took a step closer and kissed the other. He tugged softly on Rory's bottom lip before slipping his tongue out to line the other's top lip began to work his fingers towards the straps of Ser Gilmore's armour before the man decided to break the kiss and pull away.
"It's midday, Aedan, and people know we're together, I hardly think coming back with armour full of hay will go unnoticed."
Aedan sighed and pulled his hand free from the other's, turning away slightly "of course, how foolish of me. Well, enjoy the battle, at least."
Rory smiled comfortingly, sorry that he could do nothing more under the given circumstances "if things were different—but we both have things we must do, don't we? Just, try to enjoy your flirting, you're rather good at it anyhow. Hopefully you won't be married by the time we both get back, yes?"
Aedan smiled lightly and dropped his gaze lightly, He opened the stable door for the other, unable to add more words to the situation.
The Journal of Aedan Cousland
9:30 Dragon—Eleventh of Guardian
'Hopefully you won't be married' what the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it the sign of affection I've been looking for, or merely a sign that we'll have more fun. If I thought there was a chance the guard would accept, I think I would have asked to run off to the provinces together then and there. But, if nothing else, it is clear to me that duty and career will always come first, so what's the point in asking when I know I'd have my heart thrown against a wall anyhow? Well, at least they have good wine in Amaranthine; perhaps I'll be able to forget for a moment that I'm a damned Cousland, enslaved by my own mandatory honour.