I'm going to try to update these in between homework, but don't hold me at gunpoint over it, ok?

Remember: every review saves a unicorn's life! (I will NEVER get tired of saying that.)

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Chapter Two – Androids in Conflict

Luke, Clyde and Rani collapsed onto the couch in the attic. Luke was home from uni for a few weeks, so the three of them were spending as much of their shared time aliening as possible.

"Sarah Jane."

The level voice of Mr Smith greeted them.

"Hello Mr Smith. The creature was returned home with minimal effort, as it turns out."

"I'm glad to hear it, Sarah Jane. May I enquire as to what the alien was? All I could determine in my scans was that a foreign animal had awoken from suspended animation by means far beyond humans."

"It was a hrorgaein from Garrh in the Cystorrin System."

"That explains why I couldn't detect the species, Sarah Jane," the xylok said. "My scanners are pitched to detect alien life but can only provide species detail if it gives off conscious thought. Hrorgaein brains are not known for being able to complete a task much more complex than avoiding walls."

"Species detection is a task not beyond even the simplest computer." This proclamation came from the corner of the room. "I am unsurprised to learn that your programming does not allow for such undemanding chores, Mr Smith," the electronic voice continued.

Luke's return had also meant the homecoming of K9. Along with this came the metal dog's recurring disagreements with Mr Smith.

"K9," said Mr Smith, firing up his arguing circuits. "If you could detect the species, why didn't you inform Sarah Jane before she left?"

"Enough, both of you!" said Sarah Jane. "Despite your advanced computing systems which are more complex than anything Earth will see for at least 700 years, you argue like a pair of pigeons squabbling over a…a…"

"Bag of bread?" suggested Rani.

"Yes!" Sarah Jane said in frustration. "You will just have to learn to respect each other's qualities. I was meaning to ask Mr Smith something, but you two will sort out your problems first."

"Sorry, Mistress," said K9, his head bowing slightly in shame.

"My apologies, Sarah Jane," said Mr Smith.

"Thankyou. Now. Who's up for a cup of tea?"

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

"Will K9 and Mr Smith be alright?" Rani asked when they'd gone downstairs.

"Or are they going to laser computer viruses to each other until one reboots itself?" asked Clyde.

"K9's circuits looked okay when I updated them a few months ago," said Luke, overly concerned by the situation.

Luke had recently rewired K9's mobility circuits: now the metal dog was about as fast as his human counterparts were when they ran. Sadly, he could only move fast on level surfaces, and his hover pad was much slower. Getting down the three flights of stairs in Sarah Jane's house took him about five minutes, which was not especially useful if everyone was in a rush to 'go aliening' as Clyde so elegantly called it.

"Oh, I'm sure Mr Smith and K9 will be fine," said Sarah Jane confidently. "Their programming telling them to argue with each other is overrun by their programming to obey my orders."

Luke laughed. It was nice being back home.

"I'll go put the kettle on, shall I?" suggested Rani, heading into the kitchen.

"So, how do you think Rani'll take Maria's arrival?" asked Clyde quietly.

"They've talked on webcam before, I'm sure it'll be fine," said Luke.

Maria was coming over from America to visit her mum in a week or two, but they'd made her promise to spend every available moment with them. Maria's mum, Chrissie, said she'd be happy for her daughter to spend time with Sarah Jane on the condition that Maria was returned safely home to her flat for dinner every night. Maria was also required to go on at least two shopping sprees with her mum during the trip. Maria hadn't seemed exceptionally excited by the prospect. Unlike Rani, Maria wasn't big on shopping.

"Clyde!" Rani called from the kitchen. "How do you like your tea? I forget every time."

"Black, one sugar, same as you!" he called back.

"Right, knew that!"

"Can't remember anything, that one," said Clyde.

"I heard that!" Rani shouted indignantly.

Clyde laughed.

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Having consumed the deliciousness that was their tea and home-made spongecake, everyone traipsed back upstairs to see how the two machines were faring.

"Having listened to your many invalid points, K9, I have come to the conclusion that I am the computer with a wider range of abilities and higher chance of being taken seriously. You are nothing more than a programmable oddity item with a mobile analysis feature."

"I will have to disagree with your point there, Mr Smith. I travelled with the Doctor and his companions in the TARDIS for many years, and have much more experience with other life forms than you do. I am more approachable, more agreeable and more reliable."

"Honestly, you two, when will you ever agree?" said Sarah Jane in exasperation.

"My apologies, Mistress," said K9. "I will succeed in the endeavour on the next attempt."

"I highly doubt that," retorted Mr Smith.

Sarah Jane sighed.

"Oi, budge," Clyde said, nudging Rani.

Rani shook her head.

"I am staying here. This couch is mine. Find your own," she said.

"Mr Smith, can you trace the frequency that was used to wake up the hroraegin?" she asked, having come to the conclusion that neither android would see the other's perspective without a heavy duty rewiring.

"Scanning now," the xylok answered in his ever-patient voice.

Sarah Jane paced back and forth, tapping her finger on her sonic lipstick absent-mindedly. Luke and Clyde seated themselves on the step after deducing that Rani was not about to move from her position sprawled over the couch.

"Sarah Jane."

She looked up from her pacing. The deep purple lines that had been buzzing animatedly had vanished, replaced with the kaleidoscopic crystal pattern Mr Smith displayed when talking.

"I have the readings here. The frequency used was at a pitch far beyond anything that could be replicated by any form of human technology. It would be completely inaudible to most forms of life in the universe, but hrorgaeins are one of the few life forms that have ears sensitive enough to react to it."

"What do you mean, react to it?" asked Rani.

"There is a pitch found on some mobile phones that has been nicknamed 'the mosquito'," Mr Smith said, "which creates a painful buzz in the ears of children, but is too high to be heard by adults. The frequency used to wake up the hrorgaein works similarly to 'the mosquito', but is much higher pitched and much more painful – painful enough to pierce through the suspended animation and wake the animal up."

"Is that why it was so angry?" said Clyde. "Cause it felt like something had been drilling into its head?"

"Negative, Master Clyde," K9 said. "Hrorgaein just have a natural bad temper."

"So," Sarah Jane continued. "What caused the frequency blip?"

"A low flying starship created the frequency wave," Mr Smith answered her. "It wasn't targeted just in that area. From what I can tell by my cross-referencing with other hyper-sensitive computers, it was sent over the whole world."

"Could it have caused any damage or woken anything else up?"

"I highly doubt it Sarah Jane. The frequency transmitted was at an exact pitch of 208,045.673540023657-"

"Yes, I understand Mr Smith."

"Only the hrorgaeins react to such a precise pitch."

"So the frequency wave wasn't accidental, then?" asked Rani.

"Why would anyone fly close to Earth just to wake up an angry alien pig?" ask Clyde. "Why would you bother?"

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I need to improve on this chapter lark, don't I?