DemonPanther: WHEE! LOOKS LIKE CHAPPIE 2 IS DONE! SORRY IT'S SO LATE, BUT THANK YOU ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWERS AND OF COURSE ICHOCOLOVE! WITHOUT HER, MY GRAMMAR WOULD BE ALL OVER THE PLACE! YAY!–spins around room-
Wolf: Is she stuck on Cap Locks or sumthing? .''
Samus: Who knows...with her it's always a mystery.
DemonPanther: -drools- SUGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR! –continues spinning and smashes into wall-
Everyone: O.O''
DemonPanther: -gets back up- Curse the smallness of this room! –goes into bigger room and spins instead-
Ike: Are we going to be stuck with the disclaimer this time?
DemonPanther: - somehow hits wall and is knocked out-
Smashers: -twitches-
Fox: -sighs heavily- Fine, I guess I'll do it then. –glances over at DP- Thankfully, DemonPanther does NOT own any of us characters from Super Smash Bros, or the game itself.
Roy: -pops up randomly- BUT, I bet u she wishes she owned me! :D
Fox: -punts Roy off screen for K.O.- And flaming will be frowned upon. So please don't flame, on with another chapter.
--
The smashers were already food deprived. Some were nearly dead, pale and muttering about Master Hand and his unfairness. Others were considering burning Samus at the stake, though Snake and Falcon were objecting the idea completely.
Link sat at a charred table crying sad tears of sadness that formed into a puddle of salt water on the ground. causing Lucas, the person relaxing next to the green clad elf, to drown. The hero continued to drench the floorboards while Falcon performed CPR.
Peach- tired of watching this development, decided to cheer him up. So, she got off her royal tush and treaded over the soon to be ocean carefully. "Link?" She started emphatically, resting her hand on his shoulder, "The world isn't fair."
He turned towards Peach, eyes wide and damp and he bawled until his tear glands ran dry, soaking Peach's favourite dress. Now, the Mushroom kingdom Princess wasn't awfully happy with the situation, because unlike all her other 104 pink dresses, this one was special, unique, exclusive in fact!
In truth, this one was actually DARK PINK! OH, the horror, her dress would never be the same. Now it was ruined, soaked, stained, and STANDARD PINK. Reflexively, the mushroom kingdom princess brought out her pan- poor Link never had a chance.
Smashers watching the event winced in pain, Peach left fuming and Link sighed, rubbing the hockey puck sizedbump on his head. He began bawling again, making the pool grow in size once more.
"Since when was there a pond in front of me?" Ness asked, not directed at anyone in particular, but asking all the same. The body of water continued to quickly increase in size.
Roy noticed the exact same thing as his baseball cap wearing, psychic, little friend, but realized something Ness didn't. That was: a gray triangle sticking out of the water.
"What's wrong?" Ness asked, not really interested, but decided to question Roy anyways.
"IT'S JAWS!" he screeched, running around the room in full circles, eventually to hit the wall and fall with a large BANG on the floor, unconscious. The smarter people in the room got up and ran for their lives, trampling over each other towards the door. It looked like feeding time at the zoo, except more violent and sad.
Link's face perked up, as if his previous trip to the corner of emo-ness never occurred, "We can eat shark right?"
A silence fell over the room and the people who hadn't been trampled over stared at Link, seriously scared.
No one showed any signs that they were willing to answer, so Link inspected the shark himself.
He found a beautifully pointy, long stick and began poking around in the water. After awhile of poking, his arm altered into a stringy noodle like form from holding the stick too long. He finally hit something, and whatever it was, it was attached to his beautiful piece of conveniently placed driftwood.
The green clad elf grinned triumphantly, "I found it!" he explained, pulling his catch from the water.
To everyone's horror, it was a dolphin. Since the stick pierced its heart or somewhere near it, the little droplets of red stuff us intelligent people know as bloodwere gushing out like crazy.
"LINK YOU FOOL!" an unimportant background person called out.
"FLIPPER'S DEAD!" aninfant, also in the background cried.
"WHEE, SASHAMI!" anothersquealed in delight. Everyone glared at the individual. The crowd, not too happy with this, mauled him and chucked him out the window, causing the glass to break.
Lucario sighed mentally. "Master hand's going to make them pay for that..."
The elf jabbed the dolphin's smooth, damp skin with his finger, clearly not disgusted at all."But, we can still eat this thing...RIIIIIIIIIIGHT?" he chimed and glanced over to the smashers.
Everyone twitched.
No one was actually sure if he was asking a serious question or if it was a joke. I mean, IT WAS A DOLPHIN! A cute, innocent, sinless, little dolphin AND HE WANTED TO EAT IT!?
"Link, that's quite...disturbing," Fox explained straightforwardly, while everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.
"But it looks so good!" Link whimpered.
No one dared to comment -they were already frozen from shock.
Disrupting the silence, an oversized bird flew in from the cracked window and carried off the dolphin, along with Kirby, Pikachu, Lucas and Jigglypuff, who apparently all looked like food. Link's last string of hope was cut.
"THERE IS NO GOD!" He screamed dramatically, triggering the domino effect of face palms around the room.
Zelda, the logical one, stepped forward in front of the smashers figuring out something important no one truly became conscious of, "Actually, Link was right..."
Everyone stopped and stared like the song implied, "Has the green elf contaminated your brain?" they all said in unison.
"Not yet," she started grinning and coughing somewhat, but continued on with her announcement, "He's right about the fact we need food, since Master Hand won't hire another chef...we should to cook."
"Did someone say my name?" Master Hand sang, randomly popping out of nowhere. His unexpected appearance caused Bowser to jump backwards with a jolt and land hard on the floor, but on something soft. Several pikmin lost their lives that day.
Everyone ignored the fact Olimar retreated into the corner of emo-ness and instead, crowded around Master Hand like an angry mob, which they were in fact - complete with torches and pitch forks!
"WHY CAN'T WE HAVE OUR CAVIAR!?" Marth questioned loudly, pointing at the hand with his hand. (Wow, how strange was that sentence. O.o'')
"He's right! I MISS OUR FOOD!" Lucas explained thinking of recent meals he'd eaten. A large wad of spit escaped from his mouth.
"LUCAS, STOP DROOLING ON MY SHOES!" Peach squealed. She had the strong urge to bring out her pan, but resisted that urge because he was only a child and weak minded one at that.
"Master Hand you better give us back our chef or...or, WE'LL FORCE YOU TO WATCH TELETUBBIES!" Lucario threatened dangerously.
Master Hand held the laughter within his invisible mouth.
"Wow, Lucario don't go making SUCH scary threats." Ike responded with a VERY noticeable hint of sarcasm in his voice.
A certain red headed general shuddered, obviously not catching the sarcasm, "I don't even want to imagine if that happened to me!"
The smashers glanced over at Roy sweatdropping, except Olimar who was still mourning the loss of his pikmin in the corner of emo-ness. Roy met the vacant stares directed towards him, finally grasping the concept of the joke.
"WHAT?! The teletubbies scare me OK?! They're so round and inhumanely cushy, plus they have weird antenna things, WEIRD ANTENNA THINGS FOOLS! HOW CAN YOU NOT BE SCARED OF CREEPY, ALIEN, CHILDREN STALKER THINGERS!?" He asked, flailing his arms frantically.
"Because we actually have brains," Fox explained calmly, watching the general smash into a wall again.
"Anyways, Master Hand," Zelda turned to the hand's palm, "Is there really no way to get our chef back, because everyone's starving and going slightly insane."
Master hand checked the clock behind him."It's only been an hour though."
The hyrulian princess sighed. "My point exactly. So, is there any possible way?"
"Nope, not much," Master Hand explained. If a hand could smirk he would be doing it right now-sadly, he had no face.
"What if we raise the money?" Zelda asked.
"If you feel like raising a million dollars."
Everyone in the room stopped,
Many twitched violently,
Some doubted the capacity of their hearing,
Others cleaned their ears,
Most prayed to god they had heard wrong.
Master hand merely repeated his sentence, "One million is what they need to fix it."
Silence continued.
"I'm serious!" the hand explained wondering if all the smashers had died from shock...some had. Double checking, he poked Falco with one of his gigantic, chubby fingers. Falco only fell to the floor with a CLUNK, as solid as a statue. They revived after a minute or so though.
"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SERIOUS!?" the smashers yelled in unison.
"Are you people all deaf?" the hand asked coldly.
"After the last chapter and the incident with those fangirls, some of us are," Marth explained.
Master Hand sighed, "I'll hire the chef back if you raise the money...otherwise-"
A grey puff of smoke wisped in front of him. When the smoke dispersed, the cookbook titled 'cuisine for idiots' was revealed.
"-This is your savoir."
"A book, our savoir?" Roy asked staring at it cautiously, as if it might have jumped up and bitten him in the nose any second.
"Wait, WE EAT THE BOOK THEN?!" The red head asked appalled.
Master Hand didn't want to answer Roy's idiotic question, but responded anyways, "No."
"Ah, I get it now, because of paper cuts!" the general smiled as if he understood what Master Hand was getting at, though he was far from it.
"Sure, whatever, that works too."
"So when do we start cooking?" Roy asked prancing around with the book, like the reindeer in all the really old Rudolph movies.
"YOU, don't do anything." Master Hand snatched the hardback away from disaster's clutches, "The mansion will burn in your hands." He handed the book to the Hyruilan princess instead.
Roy groaned like a little kid, while Zelda politely accepted the book.
Master Hand having done his business, felt no need to stay, "If I wait here any longer I'm afraid my brain will be infected with further stupidity." Just as Falco was about to comment on the fact Master Hand didn't have a brain, Fox knocked him out cold.
"I highly doubt I can count on you to not destroy every single valuable possession in this mansion, so I'll just leave it at that," the hand explained before departing, adding in one last sentence beforehand. "OH, and you people WILL pay for the window." Master Hand said, looking menacing...or at least as menacing as a hand can look. "Good Luck!"A time rift appeared in the middle of the room and Master Hand squeezed in, leaving.
"I told you he'd notice the window!" Lucario moaned.
"Anyone would notice the million pieces of shattered glass on the ground," Fox stated.
"There are more important things to be worrying about right now, namely FOOD!" The baseball cap wearing lad pulled both fighters over to Zelda.
The smashers all collected around the book, as if it were the Holy Grail; to the smashers it was. A grail that would change their lives, and for some, eliminate them, but none the less, it was their savoir. A cooking book, 35 inexperienced smashers and a burnt kitchen. What awaits our precious characters in their future adventures in cooking? You'll see in the next retarded chapter.
And so, it begins...
--
Lucario: Wow, I'm surprised that some of the readers actually survived that chapter!
Peach: Though the sashimi guy didn't...he's still being mauled by flamers.
-screams of horror and total pain in the background-
Zelda: Shouldn't we help him? .''
DemonPanther: But there's more important things to worry about...LIKE THE NEXT CHAPTER! This one was so late and I feel seriously bad I haven't updated for so long! –cries-
Bowser: About that, I wanna be in the next one, I'VE HAD NO SCREEN TIME!
Olimar: And all you've had me do was mourn the loss of my pikmin, IN BOTH CHAPTERS! Olimar Jr. And OliOli are the only two left!
DemonPanther: I guess you two are right...I'm forgetting some of the other characters. I HAVE AN IDEA! :D
Lucario: That's NOT a good sign!
Smashers: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! –runs around frantically-
DemonPanther: What? Teaching fangirls the correct way to shriek is an important skill needed! D:
Smashers: -glares-
DemonPanther: AUGH, that doesn't matter anymore. I want YOU, the readers to go decide who you'd like to see in further chapters. So give me feedback! In the mean time, HOT CHOCOLATE FOR EVERYONE! :D
Smashers: YAY! –boiling hot chocolate rains from the sky burning all the smashers-
(Somewhere off in the distance Roy learns the whole cast had hot chocolate) Roy: -cries-