Emma hadn't known what to expect when they'd pulled into the drive at the Mayoral Mansion. She was still reeling from the events of the preceding two hours to have given much thought to the rapidly approaching situation.
Her experience with her parents had been a trip. Regina had seemed to thoroughly enjoy explaining to her stricken mother about how their hearts were entwined, adding in a wink for good measure. She'd cackled as her nemesis visibly paled and was forced to quickly find her seat, lest she fall in a graceless heap onto the floor.
Once Emma had reassured Snow, explaining about their circumstances, her parents had implored her to stay with them, stating that Regina would simply have to make do. Naturally, Regina had cackled at this, before explaining that she'd rather kill them all in their sleep than playing happy families with the 'nauseating pair of idiots'. Emma privately agreed, it wasn't like they had much room, and somehow she couldn't see Regina as a willing roommate. She probably kicked in her sleep too.
The Mayor had insisted on getting her car from the office, despite the Bug being closer. By the look of horror on her face when Emma had suggested she drive them, she'd have thought that she'd propositioned her. She'd hurriedly packed a bag when she'd gotten to her place, thankfully her parents had elected to not prod Regina any further, and instead gone to inform Henry of their temporary change in circumstances, mercifully he was at a sleepover and therefore away from any potential dramatics.
She'd only been in five minutes before Regina had started impatiently beeping the horn. Emma had signed and grabbed up a few toiletries and changes of clothes, she really hoped she wouldn't have to be away long. She may not even survive the night.
She closed the door behind her, locking it, before heading down the stairs and outside to the car, to meet a glaring Mayor. Sighing once again, she got into the passenger seat, barely having time to put her seatbelt on before the car lurched into the night.
….
'Really Miss Swan, I do not live a hovel like the one you're so accustomed to, pick that bag off the floor this instant' Regina snarled, almost the second Emma had walked through the door and seen fit to throw her bag next to her pristine Chaise Lounge.
'Really Regina, I don't know where you expect me to put them. Good hosts offer to take their guest's belongings instead of just leaving them holding a sack full of clothes you know?' Emma fired back. It wasn't like she'd emptied a bag of dirty underwear across the living room. She'd neatly placed her clean backpack next to the couch she was going to be sleeping on. What was she supposed to do, carry it around permanently?
'I also know that you're no guest. You're an unwanted nuisance who has once again foisted herself upon my hospitality because she can't keep well enough alone.' Regina responded, irritated. It wasn't as if she'd asked for this intrusion from Emma Swan, or any of the preceding ones for that matter. It was a cruel twist of fate that she'd been forced to deal with the clumsy blonde on a regular basis, never seemingly finding escape from her, nor from her idiotic parents.
'Hey, me coming here wasn't my fault you know. It was magically pre-destined or whatever, it's not like you'd have to deal with me if you hadn't gone all wicked witch of the west and cursed a town full of Disney characters' Emma responded, indignant. It wasn't like she'd asked for any of this. If she'd had a choice, she'd have forgone the pressure of being a saviour in favour of some normal, loving parents any day.
'We're not from Oz, as you well know. With your boorish mannerisms, I doubt you'd even be wanted in our kingdom, they'd probably foist you off on some unsuspecting dairy farmer as soon as you came of age.' The Mayor shot back, furious at the reference. It astonished her how Emma could be so clueless as to her heritage, although she admitted privately that she may have played some small part in that. She wasn't about to share that with the Sherriff, however.
'At least they probably wouldn't try to execute me before banishment, your highness. Imagine being so petty that you'd try to kill Snow White over a beauty contest. With a poison apple tree too, I mean, talk about cowardly.' Emma smirked, noting the tell-tale eye twitch which meant she'd scored a point against the Mayor. She wasn't a difficult woman to read if you knew where to look, and Emma was very practiced at trying to figure her out.
'When will you learn Miss Swan that things are never as simple as those childish cartoons of yours make them out to be? As if anyone would ever be willing to cast the curse over mere jealously, grow up.' Regina shot back. Henry's book had always been very black and white, she was the villain, pure and simple. She didn't have the luxury of explanations, it was just taken at face value that she was intrinsically evil, that she'd been born wanting to live her life that way. Real life was never that straightforward.
'Grow up? Says the woman who's been in her 30s for at least a few decades.'
'It's hardly my problem that I look good for my age Miss Swan. Perhaps you could take some tips from Aurora, I hear she's good at working with hopeless cases.' She fired back, smirking. She did look good for her age, not bad at all for 60. She'd been 30 when she cast the curse, she certainly hadn't been an underachiever.
'It's no wonder you had to be the villain Regina. God knows you aren't likeable enough to be the hero. I'm just surprised you haven't blown the town up yet out of sheer boredom.' Emma responded. She was growing tired of the exchange, but it wasn't like she had anywhere to leave to.
'Miss Swan, as you well know, I haven't tried to kill anybody in at least a few months. Give me a little credit, if I were to kill members of this town, it would be with finesse. Your mediocre detective work would never be able to catch me.' The Mayor replied, a little insulted. It wasn't as though she lobbed sticks of dynamite through open windows. She was sophisticated and calculating, hardly a common criminal.
'Finesse, like how you just uprooted dozens of people and created a whole town just to get your revenge?' Emma replied, snorting. Really, the woman wasn't half as subtle as she thought she was.
'Don't presume to know my motives Emma. Your brain probably can't handle the complexity. I don't know why I'm bothering to speak with you.' Regina replied, finally beginning to lose patience. She was loathe to let Emma have the last word however.
'Because you secretly enjoy my company and want to get to know me?' Emma asked, smirking.
'Hardly Miss Swan. I simply wanted to ensure you wouldn't destroy my sitting room. Do try not to dirty up the sofa, or better yet, try to keep of the furniture.' Regina replied, a haughty expression on her face. Really, she should be commended for allowing the blonde into the house at all. The woman looked prone to spillages.
'I'm not a dog Regina' The blonde responded, put out. She'd never encountered anyone who had the ability to be so thoroughly condescending. Emma idly wondered if she practiced in the mirror.
'A dog would have better manners. At least a dog is trainable.' She responded, sneering.
'I'm trainable. Wait, not what I meant.' Emma started, but immediately backtracked.
'Dinner is at 8 Miss Swan. I expect you to wash up and be on time. Even you should be able to manage that from the next room.' Regina replied, choosing to ignore Emma's comment. It did provide her an amusing mental image however, something to laugh about later in the privacy of her bedroom no doubt.
'You're cooking for me? I thought I wasn't a guest?' Emma responded, confused. She hadn't expected any kind of hospitality. She'd actually been concerned, her stomach never seemed to stop growling, and she didn't really want the walk into town to pick something up from Granny's, especially given she'd have to drag a reluctant Regina with her, who'd no doubt moan the entire time.
'It was either that or let you loose on my kitchen. Given your cooking ability, I don't feel the need to sacrifice any of my utensils, nor waste any of my supplies. And I'm not particularly keen on the stench of fries and burgers permeating my entire home. I'd have to have it fumigated.' She replied. She wasn't sure why she was being so accommodating in truth, but she supposed it was better than the potential damage to the kitchen, or having the blonde wander off to feed herself and ending up killing them both.
'I don't only eat fast food Regina.' Emma replied, indignant. It was true, she'd definitely had some vegetables at some point recently. Not on a burger either.
'I've never seen any evidence to the contrary. It astounds me that you maintain your waistline.' The Mayor was genuinely surprised, it wasn't as if Emma had had to do a lot of running around recently, and she ate so poorly. If Regina had cared at all for the blonde's welfare, she'd insist on nutritional supplements at the very least.
'Admiring my figure Regina?' Emma winked, adopting a sultry expression. She loved flirting with the Mayor, it was always a good way of getting under her skin. Honestly, for a woman who wore fetish gear as a way of life, she seemed to be quite the prude.
'Humph. Hardly. I simply want to ensure that the Sheriff my tax dollars are paying for is capable of running to catch criminals without keeling over from a heart attack. Clogging your arteries full of grease on a regular basis hardly inspires confidence.'
'I still think you've been checking me out.' Emma pushed, batting her eyelashes.
'I really don't care what depraved thoughts go through your head Miss Swan. 8, sharp.' Regina huffed, before turning and stalking away.
Laughing to herself, Emma turned on her phone. She noticed with dismay that she had several missed calls, no doubt from her mother. She quickly began to formulate a text, to let the woman know that she was still alive, that she hadn't yet goaded the Mayor into killing her, although there was still plenty of time. At least she'd get to try her famous cooking before she died. That was an experience she was really looking forward to.