.:WaRnInG:.

LOOKY HERE!! THIS IS A WARNING!! THIS IS A SPOOF AND IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOSLY!! IF YOU DO TAKE IT SERIOSLY, I WILL HIT YOU ON THE HEAD WITH A GARFIELD COMIC!! ': "

AND...SOME OF THE CHARACTERS ARE VERY OOC!! THATS ANOTHER WARNING MIND YOU!! SO, IF YOU DON'T LIKE RANDOME SICK-AND-TWISTED HUMOR, I SUGGEST YOU JUST STOP READING THIS. PERMANENTLY. YOU WILL GET SCARS!!

.:eNd oF wArNiNg:.

no flames. though, cookies will be apreciated. : L drool

Disclaimer: I CANNOT OWN INVADER ZIM!! SO, (damn lowyerss no pun intended..) YOU CAN STOP POKING ME WITH PITCHFORKS NOW!!!!!!!!

takes a chaingun from butt pocket (i DEFY gravity and the law of.. LAW!! HAA!!) " I SAID BACK AWAY!" starts cackling evily MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA !!!

KKK.. read on, my humble readers. read on.

Chapter 2: Obessed much?

Zim just sat on top of her, waiting for and answer to pass from her lips. Or some form of communication, no less.

Gaz had her mouth hanging open, and she guffawed," WHAT?!! WHAT DID YOU SAY ZIM?! Before wriggling free from his tentacle grasp and hitting him in the stomach with all the force she could muster. Gaz slowly turned around, and then jumped off the roof, sprinting away.

I had her!! I had her in my clutches, now why did I go and say such an imbecilic thing like that?! Damn, I need to work on my social skills...Zim muttered to himself and to anyone else close enough to hear. Unfortunately, the person or "robot" that was close enough to hear was Gir.

"Ouch…Masta, you need some luvin'. And ya need to work on your social skills" Gir squealed profoundly, making Zim's antenna's twitch in anger under his wig.

Before standing up, Zim replied, "When did you become the doctor of love? Zim spat sarcastically, "GO BACK INSIDE, BEFORE I SHUT YOU DOWN!! THAT WAS A COMMAND, GIR!!"

Gir's eyes and belly glowed red, when after saluting and yelling, "YES SIR!" After his eyes once more turned cyan blue, Gir giggled and hopping into the window, a few minutes later the click of the remote was heard, followed by Gir saying, "I love this show."

I might as well join, for all I care. After the very awkward turn of events, Zim had been suddenly left standing on the roof alone and saddened. He really wanted to hit it off with the Gaz-human, and maybe try to get into her "pants" as the humans referred to the mating rituals as. He wearily drugged himself towards the window, his tentacles dragging behind him for a short period of time before retracting into his "pak" as he continued his mopey mood, he went to turn the radio off before carelessly flinging himself down the stairs (yes, he did indeed fling himself down the steps, later resulting in a huge bruise on his forehead) yet he didn't care. He sat next to Gir on the couch, watching TV when all of a sudden a commercial popped on, namely a product used to seduce women…

New and improved "hatchet", with added "nnnst nnnst" the TV announcer said.

A teen earth boy was showed on the flickering screen, putting the spray across his chest. He then goes to soccer practice, and all the girls and "soccer moms" tackle him into the ground, ripping his clothes and kissing him all over the face.

"I NEED THAT!!" yelled Zim before dashing towards his voot cruiser to the front. Yessss... I can see me now! The Gaz human licking my Flagstblha and serving me cola… VICTORY FOR ZIMMMMM!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Because Zim has more than likely ADHD and BY-POLER SINDROME, he missed the warning of the commercial.

Warning: boiling zits, growth, urges to ahem release, yelling comments to women such as "I like chicken" and "hickey Dickey DOO wish for me to go out with you" will likely result if you are an alien with no nose, ears, and have antennae, and millions of gallons of water are exposed to your skin. pfff, but what are the odds of that?

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Meanwhile, Next door to Zim's house…..

"What a creepy little boy, Elroy." And elderly lady, 4 feet tall, said flatly while staring at the place where the "incident" occurred.

"GET OFF MY BACK, WOMEN!! And go make me some pizza." Said an old, grumpy grandpa.

"I can't dear, not until you get a job, remember?"

"Oh yea."

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Gazzy's POV

WHAT DOES ZIM THINK HE IS??!! He thinks he can treat me, the Queen of darkness like that?? No, never.

Then why did you blush, little Gazzy? I know what you were thinking... Replied an inner voice. She shook her head violently, trying to shake the persistent thought out of her conscience. She took in her surroundings with a lack of interest. Houses, lined in rows together on either side of the road of her, matched. Gaz was now walking on the paved sidewalk, shooting looks at people who dare even glance her way. When she reached her familiar looking house, she roughly opened the door, slamming it behind her.

"Dib, you still here?" Gaz asked into the hallway upstairs.

Her only reply for awhile was silence, then a small "yes." She went to investigate, and found Dib's upper portion of his body poking through the floor boards.

"So, sister, how was the visit?"

Gaz shuddered. "Up yours!" she said as she stomped on his gargantuan head, causing a yelp and him falling back down on the first floor with a 'thud'. Gaz took her GSXV out of her pocket and began playing it, running into the door of her room because of her lack of attention.

She fell on her bed with a 'Flunk', asking herself the same questions earlier that Saturday morning.

Does zim…. Perhaps…like me? No, that's not possible. It can't happen, and I also bet he lacks the requirements for bed antics. She snickered to herself at the thought of him having nothing there downstairs next to the wallet.

Dib burst into the room at that exact moment,

"WHAT DID YOU DO AT ZIM'S HOUSE?"

What a dumbarse. He finally noticed?

She smiled inwardly at her opportunity at making Dib's life a living hell-hole, at the same time making sure he'd leave her alone after this.

"We made out and he was yelling my name (switching to Zim's low voice,) oh Gaz! Ohhhhhh GAZZ!!"

It did the trick. Dib, was veryyyy red in the face, blood vessel's throbbing in his neck as he clenched and unclenched his fist. (Lol it sounds like he's jealous...)

"WHAT DID HE DO?!?! GAZ, HOW DDAAARRREEEE YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!" He Boomed.

Oops, Gaz thought, I didn't want to make him go over the edge. Oh well.

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Zim ran towards the man behind the counter, gaining looks from the people at the tables.

"I NEED THE HATCHET-SPRAY!" Zim yelled.

"Uh, sir, this is a bar. A gay bar."

"Oh. Could you then point me in the direction of a local shop where they sell this, perfume?"

The bartender looked at him oddly for a moment, and then pointed towards the local ceiling-mart. Ermmm... what is this gay thing? Is it a drink? Hmmmmm…. Zim asked himself as he headed towards the voot cruiser, hopping in and speeding away to the mart.

He ran in, threw 5 dollars at the cashier, and ran out, carrying 21 little cans in bags and stuff.

"Hey, it's $5.28 ya know!!! Oh well." The cashier yelled after him.

Zim threw all of the bottles into the voot cruiser, and was going as fast as he could towards his humble little earth home (partly because he had left Gir at his house for awhile and the security system was not activated) when he got stopped and pulled over.

AAAAhhhh!! WHERE'S MY LICENSE!! NOOOOOOO!!! Zim screamed in his mind as he rummaged through the many bottles of hatchet frantically looking for it.

"Do you know how fast you were, son?" the officer asked, walking up to the vooty. (The nickname I made for his little car)

"NO! (You stupid earth stink) I do not!! BUT YOU DO!!" Zim shouted at him before pulling out a ray gun and aiming it at the cop's head. 2 seconds later, he was driving madly towards his house with a tide up officer and 21 cans of spray in his already crammed vooty. As soon as he walked into the house with the many cans of cologne, he dumped them onto the floor and began spraying himself frantically, minimoose just floating there and gir running around with a can in his hands spraying and running around in circles.

"WHHEEEEE!!" cried Gir.

"GIR! STOP THAT INFERNAL RACKET! I am trying to win the earth females attention WITH MY MIGHTINESS!!"

21 cans of hatchet and an hour later….

HA !! SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST ME NOW!!! Zim happily thought when he was walking with GIR on a leash, 5 mins. Later, he arrived at the membranes home, fixing up his disguise the best he could. He could feel his squeedilyspooch doing flips and his fingers going numb as he rang the door. it flew open seconds later, when zim finally shouted,

"CAN YOU NOT RESIST THE ALMIGHTY ZIM! BE MINE EARTH MONKEY!!"

Unfortunately for our little zimmy, the person at the door was not Gaz. Quiet the contrary, there was a very red-in-the-face dib standing there, and if looks could kill, Zim would be a pudding zombie. (I like pudding.)

No, i don't like pudding that much. i'de rather settle for sum bubble gum. while i was reading other peoples comic thingy's and fanfiction, i came across one that said how not to win a human females affections or somthing like that. turns out, they also parodied axe. now, it looks like i copied them. I AM ORIGANAL DAMNIT! HOWEVER, I WILL QUOTE THINGS OFF OF GOOD SHOWS OR ETC. ETC. feh. oh, and if your wondering what the hell happpened to the cop, i'll tell you on the 4th chappie.

REVIEW!! OR YOU SHALL ALL FACE THE WRATH OF MY MIGHTYNESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! NAHAHAHAHAHA!!! oh, no wait. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!