Seeing little kids with guns always amused me. When I see a six year old wearing a little pony nightgown pointing a glock at me, well it's funny.
If I could talk I would tell her that there's no reason to be afraid, but I can't talk, so I grunted and stumbled away. My chest still ached, and lately my sanity is becoming bothersome. My body Is like a giant cage. I can't be who I want to be in my current state.
Before last week I hadn't thought of being human in years, about that happiness I felt when I was alive, about how amazing love can feel, about well, anything that didn't involve getting dinner. But that girl, something about her made me CRAVE life. Crave her, and not in an eating way. The image of her all alone in that baby pink dress with her hair pulled back, made me smile. Not just WANT to smile, but actually smile. She brought me warmth and life, and I AM going to find her again.
I haven't a clue what I'm going to do when I see her. Images of holding her in my arms, petting her fire orange hair, making her laugh, smile…This is what is on my mind as I wonder aimlessly through the streets, no destination, only wondering, always this horrid empty sorrow that will never leave me alone.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to die, actually die, it might be better than wondering forever. But when I die it'll be by her fair hand. I eventually ended up in a giant lush garden, times may be ending for humans but the plants are living it I could smell my nose would be overwhelmed by the sweet delicate roses that were in full bloom, and the honeysuckles that soaked in the summer sun. The orange of a cactus' bloom reminded me of the girl, this made me, for the second time in many years, smile.
Again I noticed my lack of hunger, the ache that normally lived in my stomach had moved to, and wasn't leaving, my chest. A living bird even had the nerve to perch on my shoulder. I grabbed it and shoved it in my mouth, crunching slowly on the bones, and slurping its tiny organs. It tasted so wrong that I had to spit it out, which is saying something because I had lost my taste buds the day I had changed.
I swear my ache was thudding…almost like…holy shit! My arm slowly flew up to my neck and searched until it felt a tiny flutter, followed by another, then another, and they didn't stop. "Heartbeat." I murmur softly, which shocked me even more. "What hell?!" I demand loudly, unable to be fluent, but still impressive none the less.
A woman I hadn't noticed, who had been tending the roses, looked at the bird on the ground –or what was left of it- and then looked to my swearing undead mouth. Her jaw dropped and she screamed, which alerted every dead walking creature in a five mile radius. "Run. Now." I moan to get the words out, but they were loud and clear. She took my advice and ran for her life. The dead gathered slowly and saw the spat out bird, though it was small, a crowd of about twenty fought over the remains. I was grossed out; even I had more class than fighting for scraps.
Then I became re-aware of my pulse…maybe I should see a doctor…