YOU GUIZE, just remember this was written while on heavy amounts of cheer-me-up crack, so if it seems cheesy, that's because it is; you should just pour some wine and put it on a slice of baguette and enjoy. Thanks for reading, now go frolic in the smut fields of LornaCat's broken mind.
Useless warning: dirty words ahead!
Kyle stood in only a pair of boxers and brushed his teeth over one of three sinks in their shared bathroom. Erica sidled in next to him, in a pair of baggy sweats and a 'School of Ass-Kicking Graduate' t-shirt, and took a big ol' thing of dental floss out of her mirror cabinet. He didn't acknowledge her presence, even when she took a moment to do a quick shoulder-chest-abs-hips-calves-hips-chest-shoulder check on his beyond-perfect body.
"Did you have fun tonight?" she asked, pulling out a complete arm span of floss and snapping the end off.
He only grunted in response. The buzz of his battery powered tooth brush accompanied the sound.
"We stole some good art, huh?" asked Erica. "Good heisting?"
Kyle shrugged, and spat his foamy toothpaste into the sink.
"And we met Lisa." said Erica. "That was unexpected."
Kyle threw his head back and gargled a mouth full of Listerine. Oh my god, do you know how much that hurts after just fifteen seconds, let alone the full thirty? Kyle is so harrrrrrrrd. He swallowed it too, because his insides are made of steel.
"What a day." Erica marveled.
Kyle sighed, and put his toothbrush on the shelf behind his mirror. Without another word, he walked out. Erica smiled to herself, hoping he would like his surprise.
When Kyle got to his bedroom, he could see a person-shaped lump under his fluffy black comforter. He narrowed his eyes and turned on the lamp that stood on his bedside table. "And who, pray tell, might this be?" he murmured, pulling the covers aside. Beneath the blankets he found a grinning Lisa curled up in his bed, wearing only a thin white negligie. "What are you doing here?" he asked her, not in the mood for games.
Lisa giggled, and then suddenly feigned utter seriousness. "I'm here to fuck you." she said, as if it were a life or death mission she'd been assigned. With Kyle, sometimes it could be.
"You are, are you?" Kyle said, anger fading. He smirked, as Lisa was quite drunk and quite ready to go. She was touching herself, squeezing her thighs together around her hand. She bit her lip and stifled a moan, looking Kyle's hard body up and down.
"She is." said Erica. "But I told her I get first dibs."
Kyle turned to see her leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed. Kyle grinned, and Erica smiled back at him. That's when he noticed the dangerously short pink nightie that seemed to climb up her thighs rather than cover them as she strolled toward him.
"Finally." Kyle teased her.
"All you had to do was ask." she teased him back. She pressed her body breasts-first against him, resting her hands lightly on his biceps.
"As if I would ever make anything that easy." said Kyle, his hands holding her waist.
"Is this what you wanted?" Erica asked, looking at his mouth as his hands wandered down to her hips. "Me, coming to you?"
"You coming, period." said Kyle, squeezing her hips with both hands.
"Trust me," Erica said wryly. "We can make that happen."
"Lay down next to me." said Lisa, as sweet as the caramel frapuccino that this author was given by mistake (she wanted mocha. *eye rolllll*). Kyle turned his head, and Lisa pushed the covers aside, rubbing her thighs together as she caressed the spot on the bed right next to her body. Kyle noticed that she wasn't even wearing any panties. Oh yes, this was happening.
"One minute..." Erica murmured. She wanted to at least make out with him a little before letting him get into bed. Lisa touched herself while she watched them kiss, until she just couldn't take it anymore and started rolling around in Kyle's bed, smelling the Fresh Mountain Breeze scent of his freshly washed sheets. Kyle moved his hands slowly around to grip Erica's ass. The more tongue she gave him the harder he squeezed, until HE couldn't take it anymore and he drew one hand back and smacked that ass. Erica inhaled sharply, breaking the kiss. With his other hand he pulled the bottom of her barely there garment up, running his hand all over her lower back and back down to cup her ass. She wasn't wearing any underwear either. Kyle's mouth came open just slightly, and a smirk formed slowly as he continued his search anyway. He reached further down, between her legs. His fingertips found a very soft, very wet spot; her breath hitched, and she stood on her toes, pressing herself against him.
"You two don't mess around, do you?" he asked teasingly.
"Uhhn," Erica moaned as he fingered her. "Well, we sure as hell didn't come here to pillow fight."
Kyle groaned at her snarky quip, drawing his hand back and smacking her so hard on the ass she cried out.
"I'd watch a pillow fight." he told her.
"Yeah?" Erica taunted.
"Yeah." Kyle growled, pulling her closer and pressing his hard cock into her thigh.
"Oh my god," Lisa moaned suddenly. "You're so hot together."
Erica and Kyle turned and saw Lisa with both hands between her legs again, masturbating as if she could come just from watching their foreplay.
"We really have to keep her." Kyle murmured.
"Come on," said Erica, using the distraction to shove Kyle toward the bed.
"Watch that, now." he scolded her, grabbing her wrist, yanking her forward and slapping her ass as she passed him. She turned her head as she climbed onto his bed, giving him an I'm going to get you for that look that nearly yanked his boxers down for him.
Erica crawled on her hands and knees over to Lisa. She straddled the young recruit and pulled her wrists from between her legs. "Stop that." Erica said softly, scolding Lisa with a smile as she took Lisa's hands and pinned them over her head. "You have to wait until it's your turn again."
Lisa squirmed happily under her. They both felt a bounce when Kyle jumped ass first onto the bed. He laid down on his back and folded his arms behind his head, giving her an expectant look.
"Saddle up." he said to Erica. He'd taken off his boxers, and Erica's first look at his huge, hard cock was accompanied by a jaw drop.
"I knew you were packing heat, Kyle..." Erica released Lisa's wrists, and rolled from Lisa's lap right onto Kyle, grinding her hot, wet, naked sex against his. "But this is getting a bit ridiculous."
Kyle groaned, grabbing her hips and pushing the fabric of her nightie up her thighs so he could see what she was doing to him.
Lisa crawled over and knelt beside Erica, reaching out with one hand to touch her pretty pink negligie and squeeze the big breasts hidden underneath it. Erica turned to Lisa, and Lisa looked at Erica, into blue eyes and at lips that parted slightly, asking Lisa for more. They kissed, pressing their lips lightly together and letting their tongues do all the work. Kyle watched from below as Lisa just barely moved her head this way and that, her tongue sliding lazily over Erica's. They moaned, and Erica reached for Lisa's hand, guiding it lower.
"Put him inside me." Erica whispered against her lips. She raised herself far enough for Lisa to get a good grip on Kyle, and she held still so Lisa could guide him to her entrance. "Right there..." she breathed.
She rocked her hips forward and back as she eased herself down onto him, saving all her air for a big moan when he was all the way inside of her. It was everything either of them had imagined and more - and they'd imagined quite a lot.
"Oh, god," Erica moaned. "Why did we wait so long to do this?"
"I haven't the faintest fucking clue." Kyle groaned. "But let's never not do this again."
"Deal." said Erica, crying out when Lisa's fingertips slid over her clit. "Deal!" she shouted, the reflex being to begin humping the both of them.
Kyle grinned. "Well, now I know how to negotiate with you."
Erica let out a lusty chuckle. "All it took was a hot blonde and finding out I'd fucked Ryan to get you into bed. I'm going to have to come up with some new surprises."
"I don't think that will be a problem." said Kyle. Erica always managed to surprise hi-
"Enough cheesy narration." Erica interrupted me. "Just fuck me, Kyle."
"Yeah, fuck her, Kyle." Lisa chimed in, because even while having a threesome she had to be adorable.
"Thank you, Lisa." Erica said as she continued to grind and thrust her pelvis against Kyle's. "Now, tell him what you told me."
"Oooh," Lisa moaned. "You want me to tell him that I quit my boring job as a docent to become an expert thief, just like you?"
Kyle groaned when he heard that dirty, filthy word. He gripped Erica's hips tighter, pulling her down onto him and pushing his cock in deeper.
"...That I want to learn the art of the heist?" Lisa continued. Erica cried out, and not only from the feeling of Lisa's fingertips softly teasing her while Kyle filled her inside. Erica turned her head, capturing Lisa's dirty mouth with a sloppy wet kiss. "Mmm," Lisa moaned into her mouth, breaking the kiss so she could go on. "I want to watch you steal things." she said.
"Fuck..." Kyle grunted, thrusting his hips up into Erica.
"And then I want you to watch me steal things." said Lisa.
"Oh, yeah..." Erica moaned, thrusting her hips harder against Kyle's cock and Lisa's hand.
"Expensive things," said Lisa. "Rare things. Things that people would kill for!"
Kyle and Erica both cried out at once, again and again, as the passion took them over. Lisa fell back onto the bed, still talking. The passion had taken her over too.
"I want to take part in dangerous, life-threatening heists, and then party on a yacht afterward, with our stolen treasures all around us!"
"Oh god, Lisa, don't stop!" Erica shouted.
"Lisa don't stop?" Kyle asked incredulously, momentarily distracted by jealousy.
"Kyledon'tstopeither." Erica added quickly, smiling down at him and patting his chest reassuringly as she rocked against him.
"Tell me how big I am." said Kyle, thrusting up from below even harder than before.
Erica moaned, digging her fingertips into Kyle's chest. "You're sooo big, Kyle...you're bigger than the security detail on the Black Orlov diamond exhibit we hit."
"But there were so many of them!" Kyle growled, feigning incredulity for the sake of hotness.
"YES, you're bigger than that!" Erica insisted.
"Now tell me how hard I am." said Kyle.
"Ohh, you're harder than the diamond itself...you could have knocked down those titanium bars tonight just by swinging it..."
Kyle moaned. "Only because I was crouched next to you. Do you have any idea how hot you are when you're heisting?"
Erica sighed, high pitched and moaning. "Tell me." she ordered him. "Tell me how hot I am."
"You're hotter than the fire we caused, blowing up the World Bank right after we robbed it."
Erica gasped. "That fire melted everything for miles."
"You're hotter."
"I wholeheartedly agree." Lisa said, breathless beside them just from watching.
"Mmm, that's why we brought you home." said Erica, catching a glimpse of Lisa with her hand between her legs yet again. Three of her fingers weren't even visible anymore. "Oh, jeez." Erica muttered. She'd thought it impossible to be any more turned on until she saw that beautiful vision. "Now tell me how wet I am, Kyle. Tell me how tight I am!"
"Remember the last castle we raided?"
"Uh huh..." Erica moaned slowly.
"Remember how we almost drowned when the booby-trapped chamber flooded with holy water?"
"Uh huhhh..."
"I could drown in you, Erica."
"Oh, Kyle..."
"And you're tighter than the halls we had to squeeze through to escape."
"Fuck, those catacombs were tight!" Erica shouted, remembering how her ginormous rack had almost 'booby-trapped' them there forever.
"Wait!" Lisa exclaimed, her masturbation on pause until someone set the record straight. "You raid CASTLES?"
"As often as possible, baby." Erica panted.
"All the fucking time." said Kyle.
"Oh, shit." Lisa moaned, starting up the motion of her hand again. She was going to come again, like now.
"Oh god, fuck-" Erica shouted, getting close herself.
"Fucking, god, yes-" Kyle groaned, sensing Erica's climax.
"Fuck, yes, god!" Lisa screamed, hearing the other two.
And then they all, all three of them, at the same time, they all-
BUT WAIT, wait wait wait, hold on for a hot wet orgasming minute. What has Ryan been doing all this time? Let's check in on him.
"Who can it? Who can it? Who can it beeee nowww..."
Ryan just couldn't get that song out of his head. He was sitting on his bed, reading the December 1984 issue of Starlog, his favorite, the one with Diana the man-eating lizard on its cover.
And then his phone rang. It was one of those old-fangled corded phones, the kind made of clear plastic so you could see all its inner workings. Those phones were the shit, if you don't have one right now or at the very least desire one, you have failed at life.
Ryan picked up the phone carefully, the entire thing, and set it on his lap, waiting for the fourth ring. When the fourth ring was half over, he carefully picked up the receiver, stretching out the cord so it wouldn't be twisty anymore.
"Hello," he said in an even tone. "You have reached Ryan Nichols, but he's not home right now, so please leave a message after the beep...beeeeeeep!"
Ryan grinned, and waited for whoever called him to start talking.
"Ryan, are you there?" said Val's voice. "Ryan, if you're there, please just say hello, I really don't like it when you pretend to be an answering machine. Hello? Ryan?...Okay, I guess it's for real this time. If you could call me back when you get this-"
"I'm here." he said, interrupting her only after she'd given up.
"Ryan!" Val complained, even more annoyed when Ryan laughed like Sesame Street's Ernie in her ear.
"I'm sorry baby, it's just too easy. Whatchu need, girl?"
Back in Kyle's bedroom, two exhausted blondes made up the bread of a snoring Kyle sandwich. Erica was just leaning over his body to kiss Lisa good night when Ryan ran into the room, his corded phone still in his hand. He'd ripped the whole apparatus out of the wall in his haste.
"They kidnapped Val's baby!" he said, still in shock over the news.
"What?" Erica said harshly. That wasn't just Val's baby, that was Ryan's baby too, Erica's godchild, the subject of all of Kyle's abortion jokes! That baby belonged to all of them, even Lisa now that she'd joined the club.
"Kidnapping." Kyle said gravely, now wide awake.
"That's a form of heisting." Erica added grimly.
"You know what that means." Kyle said to her in all seriousness. Erica nodded, and they both looked to Ryan so they could all say it together.
"Re-heist."
Lisa suddenly chimed in with a loud, high-pitched moan-gasp. "Sorry," she said sheepishly, shifting her body ashamedly as all eyes turned to her. "I think I just came again."
~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~tbc~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~V~
And that...is THE END...of chapter 2. I couldn't think of how to end the chapter, so I made up a cliffhanger. HAHA JUST LIKE A REAL TV SHOW. WHERE IS MY EMMY? If you can't live without more of this story, please tell me so and I'll write poquito mas.