Sandor, my love,

It's been about three months since that very nice man knocked on my front door and told me the news. Three months since Gendry moved in. Three months since your funeral.

Remember how when you left I would complain about how the neighbors wouldn't leave me alone? It's worse now. Without asking, I get my lawn mowed, the hedges trimmed, my flowers watered and all that. Dinner gets brought over to me still, and it's been three fucking months. Sorry for swearing, but I'm very frustrated. Where were these people when we first moved in and didn't have help unloading our truck? They're fakes and they're only doing this to make them feel better.

Your funeral was small, the way you wanted. We buried you in the morning and by the time I came back that night, there were flowers all over your grave. Looks like the Lannisters liked you a little more than you thought. They're beautiful flowers, too, but I had to laugh. You hate flowers. You always have.

Lady cried when she saw me crying. It's like she knows, Sandor. She knows you're not coming back. She used to snap at Gendry, because I think she thinks that I'm replacing you with him, but she doesn't do it so much anymore. Just when Gendry tries to mess with your DVDs.

Arya doesn't do that much anymore. When you were first deployed, she came over every day and messed with them. She's still over most days, but I don't think she likes my moping. I never did end up painting our master bedroom. And I gave our quilt away. I just don't need that much stuff, since it's just me.

My Mother was a lot sadder than I expected. She said you were good for me and we got in a huge fight, because why weren't you good for me when you were alive? God I miss you so much it's not fair. Why didn't someone else die? Why was it you? You didn't deserve it and I had such hopes for our future.

Sandor, I had our entire wedding planned. I did it while you were gone. I know you never proposed, but when I checked the e-mail, I got the one about the ring. It hurt so much to call and cancel them. At least we got all the money back. I used to want to convert what is now Gendry's room into a nursery, so that was all planned out. Sandor, I named our kids. And now, I'll never meet them.

In one of your earlier letters, you said that you took away a kids hopes and dreams and I'm glad you're not here to see how much your death is affecting me. I miss you so much it hurts, but I don't get to countdown until I see you again. That's not fair. Nothing about life is fair and you told me that and I didn't listen and now I know. Sandor, now I know.

Please, wherever you are, please be happy. Because it's my turn to come to you. Don't worry, I'll come on my own time, just because I can't imagine the speech that I would get if we reunited early. I'll see you again. I promise.

I love you,

Sansa