The old shack creaked and groaned against the wind, the slats in the walls not close enough together to keep the air from seeping through. Lavi stirred a pot of weak soup over the old hearth. Even with how little they had this week, they managed to continue pressing forward. As they neared their destination, Lavi felt the tension between them rising.
He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it.
The door to the shack opened, creaking on rusted hinges as Allen entered. His shoulders slumped with fatigue, and Lavi could already hear his stomach protesting loudly when he smelled the soup.
Lavi smiled weakly, watching Allen drop his pack on the dirty floor. "Hungry?"
"Starving," Allen admitted, crossing the small, one-room shack and standing next to Lavi at the hearth. "I can't believe you managed to make something with the last of our rations."
"Don't get too excited. It's just vegetable soup." Lavi ladled out a large helping into a bowl and handed it to Allen, steam wafting off the liquid. "Here. Better eat up."
"Thanks." Allen took it and didn't bother with a spoon, drinking straight from the bowl. Before Lavi could even serve himself a helping, Allen pulled the bowl from his lips and let out a satisfied sigh. "Ahh, that hit the spot."
Lavi chuckled, stirring the pot once more and serving him a second bowlful. "That appetite of yours never ceases to amaze me, Al."
Allen took the refilled bowl, cupping his hands around it. "It's a pain, especially since we're low on funds." He took a sip of the soup, but didn't drain the bowl this time. "We managed to clean out some pockets in town, though. It should be enough to get us food and, if we're lucky, transportation. We'll need the funds to get to England."
Lavi nodded as he poured himself a bowl. Allen had received a letter from General Cross, telling him there was a way to remove the Noah memories from a host. A woman in Liverpool held the answers, and after Tyki and Lavi had run off with Allen, their entire journey revolved around finding this person. But it seemed that bad luck followed them around like the plague, and traveling to their destination was easier said than done.
"Good. I'm tired of walking everywhere—I'm gonna wear holes in my boots." He sat down on the floor next to the fire. The old shack had been abandoned for years, considering the condition, and there was no furniture in the dilapidated building. But, as they were short on cash and didn't have an option, it had to do for the night.
"We'll load up on supplies in the morning when we pass through town." Allen settled in as well, using his bedroll to cushion his legs. He cleared his throat before taking another gulp of soup. "Tyki should be back in an hour. He wanted to keep playing cards for a while. He thought he could get more money."
"Oh… Okay." Lavi had thought it odd that they hadn't returned together, but didn't want to ask.
Silence ate its way between them, and all Lavi could hear was the soft crackling of the fire next to him. He ate slowly, avoiding Allen's eyes as he sipped at the bland broth and chewed the occasional carrot or potato that brought a hint of substance to the soup.
It had been a week since the incident at the inn, and Lavi still had trouble being alone with Allen or Tyki for more than a few minutes at a time. At least when they were all together, he could pretend that the uneasy feeling was simply the animosity between Tyki and Allen flaring up again. But when he was alone with either of them, Lavi couldn't ignore that he was the reason for their strife. The guilt burned in his guts like hot acid, eating away at his insides. Lavi couldn't decide who was worse to spend time alone with. When he was with Allen, all he could think about was how much he'd hurt him by being with Tyki. And when he was with Tyki, he was reminded that Tyki thought he loved Allen—not him. He still hadn't admitted how deeply his feelings for the Noah went, though neither had Tyki. All he had to hang onto were a few comments he was certain he'd read too much into.
The silence stretched on, well past what was considered comfortable, and when Lavi finished with his bowl, he hurried to clean it just to give him something to do other than sit with Allen and not talk. Things had been easier before all this. They had been comfortable together, friendly. Now this haze of unease settled in around him, and Lavi felt like he was sitting with a stranger—that he was the stranger.
"If you want more, go ahead. Just save some for, uh…" Lavi fumbled, Tyki's name on the tip of his tongue. He tried to say it, but froze up, as if just the mere mention of him would cause the air around them to combust into flames.
Allen sighed, setting his empty bowl down. He watched Lavi, concern on his face. "You can say his name, Lavi."
"I'm sorry," Lavi said, shaking his head. Why did this have to be so hard? "I just don't want to upset you, and—"
"Lavi, stop." Allen pulled his arm and forced Lavi to sit down on the dirty floor next to him, their thin bedrolls stretched out and barely keeping the cracked floorboards from poking them uncomfortably. "This has to stop. We can't keep avoiding the subject like this."
Looking back at Allen was terrifying and comforting all at once, and it left Lavi unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want to talk, but the look on Allen's face was so comfortingly familiar that it was hard to pull away. And when he thought about it logically, they did need to talk, to clear the air.
After the three of them had run off together, Lavi had only divulged a few things to Allen. He had told him how he and Bookman had been captured by the Noah, and that Bookman had made a deal with them to save their asses. In exchange for information on the 14th, Bookman and Lavi were free to do as they pleased. After that, he had been stuck at the Noah's mansion, recording what they could from the Noah's side.
Lavi had made vague comments about how rough it had been, but other than that, he had never fully explained himself. There had never been time—not for just the two of them to converse without Tyki around, and even thinking back on those painfully dark days left Lavi feeling that same helpless chill in his bones. He avoided Allen's gaze until a warm hand pressed against his shoulder. Allen's touch was so soft and gentle that Lavi shivered against it.
"Lavi," Allen said, repeating his name in that sweet tone that made the redhead's legs turn to jelly. "Help me to understand why things are… how they are now."
He owed Allen that much, didn't he? Lavi rubbed at his face, hands trembling as he thought back on how it all began. "I don't know, Al… Sometimes I wonder that myself." He let out a weak chuckle before turning back to Allen. He was watching Lavi, patiently waiting for him to continue. "I… It was rough, being in that mansion with all of them. Bookman said we couldn't leave, not when we needed to record. But seeing the Noah every day—remembering how they tortured me to get the information from Gramps…" Lavi shook his head, as if to banish the memories to the back of his mind.
Allen's hand tightened on his shoulder, but he said nothing, letting Lavi regain his composure in silence.
"I didn't take it well… And I caused a lot of trouble for myself. I mouthed off too much. But, Tyki never hurt me physically like the others did. He preferred to taunt me with words instead. I thought he was no better than the rest, but…" Lavi rubbed at his chest while recalling the memories. "He was nice to me when I got myself in trouble a few times. Sheryl had broken my ribs one night, left me in the hallway to bleed out. But Tyki took care of me since Bookman was gone at the time. He kept saying it was because he was bored—that I was the only interesting thing in the mansion, and if I got myself killed, he'd have nothing better to do."
Lavi paused to rub at his arm, swallowing hard against his dry throat. "It was like that for a while. Tyki just kept taunting me, but helping me. I tried not to think about it, but when Bookman came back, he told me… told me that you had succumbed to the 14th. T-That you were gone."
Allen's eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat. He bit down on his lower lip, watching Lavi quietly as he waited for him to continue.
"I didn't know what to do, Al. I was so lost. I… I couldn't deal with the thought of you being gone. And that was when… when…" Lavi shook his head, forcing himself to spit out the words. "I slept with Tyki that night. I told myself it was just to forget about everything, even for just a little while. Just that one time. And it helped. I could actually forget about how everything fucking sucked for just a few minutes. But afterwards, I just felt worse."
It was like a dam had burst—Lavi felt the words tumbling from his mouth, too many words and thoughts and feelings all coming out too fast for him to even process. He'd held it all in for so long, and now that he could say it, could admit it, he couldn't stop talking.
"It was only supposed to be one time, Allen. But Tyki came back. I wanted to deny him, and God knows I tried, but it was so hard being stuck there with no one. And he made me forget everything that hurt. It wasn't supposed to get this far, but it became a constant thing. We would meet almost every day, and I…" He had to pause—the memories and feelings washing over him all at once left him more emotional than he'd thought he'd be. Tears prickled in his good eye. "I didn't mean for it to happen…"
Allen paused before he asked, "…Didn't mean for what to happen?"
Lavi sucked in a shuddered breath. "I love him." The words felt like hot fire on his tongue, burning and bright. They were words he'd never uttered in front of another soul, words he had tried to ignore, words that he wished he could forget. "I know it's fucked up and I know that he's… he's not good for me. He's possessive and rude and too rough with me sometimes. But he can be soft and thoughtful, too. And even though he won't admit it, I think… I think he loves me, too."
He turned to meet Allen's gaze, his green eye rimmed red as he held back tears. "But I still love you, too, Al. I love you so much. I've missed you…" He dug his fingers into his dusty pants to steady himself and shook his head as he continued. "I know we were never really together, that we never had a chance to—"
"Lavi," Allen interrupted, placing a hand on his cheek to steer his vision back to him. "Lavi, it's okay. I understand. You don't have to explain your reasoning. If you want to be with Tyki, then that's your choice."
Lavi was struck by the love in Allen's face. He had that smile on, the soft one tinted with just a hint of sadness, and it left Lavi's stomach clenched tight in regret. "But Al—"
"I love you, too. You know I do," Allen said, pressing both hands to Lavi's cheeks now. "You've always been important to me. Just because we're not together doesn't mean that will ever change. I just want you to be happy. So, please—be happy. Stop beating yourself up over this."
"Al…" Lavi felt his throat tighten and his hands tremble. He pressed them over Allen's as he held his face. It was too much, just too much to bear.
"Lavi, may I ask you for one thing?"
He nodded. "Anything."
"One last kiss?"
Tears finally slipped down the side of Lavi's cheek as he leaned in and captured Allen's lips with his own, not hesitating. It was so different than kissing Tyki. Allen's mouth tasted faintly of the soup they'd just eaten, wet and warm and soft. He whined into the kiss, reaching out to grab hold of Allen's sides, as if he'd disappear once Lavi let go.
Allen's thumbs wiped away the dampness on his skin, gently caressing his cheeks. It was just how Lavi had recalled their other kisses, hurried and stolen in between missions when no one was paying attention to them. They'd never gotten far in their relationship, and Lavi had never been able to confess like he had wanted. But it didn't matter now—Lavi was with Tyki, and for reasons he still couldn't understand, he loved him.
When Lavi pulled away, he watched Allen press his lips together as he gently let go of his face. He could see the myriad of emotions flickering over Allen's face, but couldn't speak to them. His heart was in his throat and the tears threatened to spill over his cheeks again.
"Let's get some rest," Allen finally said, pulling completely away. Lavi's skin felt twice as cold when Allen retreated. "We've got a long day tomorrow."
"R-Right," Lavi mumbled in response, grabbing their bowls and cleaning them before packing them away. Tyki still wasn't back yet, and he was still keyed up after his conversation with Allen. But once he relaxed against his bedroll, his back to the low burning fire, he felt the tension ooze from his body. Before he could think on what had happened between them any longer, he fell asleep to the sounds of the crackling fire and Allen's soft breathing on the other side of the room.
xXxXxXx
Lavi smelled cheap ale and stale cigarette smoke before he could even open his eye. He groaned as he felt pressure behind him, and an arm around his midsection. A bite of cold air sucked under the blanket for a moment, only to be replaced by the warmth of another body against his. He tried to turn, but was met with resistance, and lips on his neck. When he reached behind him, he found a mass of dark, curly hair, and tangled his fingers into it. "Tyki?" he mumbled out, still drowsy as he pulled himself out of sleep.
"Mm, Red," Tyki mumbled, nuzzling his neck and fumbling as he slid his hand over Lavi's stomach. "You went to sleep without me."
"Sorry," Lavi whispered hoarsely, "You were late and I was tired." He managed to extract himself from Tyki's grip long enough to turn around to face him. He smoothed a hand over Tyki's cheek, finding his skin rough from the stubble of not shaving for a few days. When his eye finally focused in the dim light of the shack, he saw Tyki's face close to his own, cheeks flushed and hot under his touch.
"Allen said you stayed to keep hustling." Lavi sat up slowly, regretting it as the cold air chilled him. "Did you win more money?"
"Enough to buy us passage to England," Tyki said, leaning in closer. Lavi smelled the alcohol on his breath. "We'll make it to Liverpool in two weeks, if we're lucky." He began kissing over Lavi's neck again, his hand snaking down to grope the front of his pants.
Lavi sucked in a quick breath, hips twitching up into the touch. "Tyki, don't. Allen's in the room, you know."
"Wouldn't be the first time," he whispered against his neck, chuckling as he tugged at Lavi's pants to undo the buttons.
"You're drunk, aren't you?" Lavi asked. He'd never seen Tyki drunk before, and while it was amusing to see the Noah in such disarray, it unnerved him more than anything. Tyki had barely interacted with him in the past week, and now he was all over him like a burr. "Aren't you hungry? We saved you some soup."
"I'd rather eat you." Tyki tugged up Lavi's shirt and licked along his stomach. Lavi flinched at the touch, too ticklish to hold still. "C'mon, Laaavi. Let me suck you off, at least. I want your cock in my mouth right now."
Lavi glanced over at their companion on the bedroll just a few feet away. Allen seemed to be asleep still, but if he let Tyki continue, that wouldn't be the case for long. This time, they didn't have the luxury of having Allen on medicine to keep him knocked out.
And Tyki didn't look like he would take no for an answer.
"Okay," Lavi whispered, sitting up and pushing Tyki off. He was still hovering too close, the smell of ale and cigarettes transferring to Lavi's own clothing. Tyki stumbled with him as Lavi attempted to quietly make his way outside.
They were far enough from the main road to avoid being seen, but as Lavi stepped out of the rickety old shack, he shivered against the chill in the night air. He pulled Tyki with him into the sparse trees that surrounded them. Before they could get far, Tyki grabbed onto Lavi and pushed him against one of the thick maples, kissing him sloppily as he tugged at the remaining clasps on his pants.
Lavi tightened his grasp on Tyki's shirt, pulling him closer. Something felt off, like a nagging thought in the back of his mind that wouldn't quite take form. "Tyki?" he asked as he pulled away from the kiss. "Are you all right?"
Tyki chuckled, fumbling to undo Lavi's pants. He was so drunk that Lavi had to hold him upright. "Never better, Red. Never better." He slid his hand into Lavi's pants once they were loose around his hips, fondling him clumsily.
Lavi gasped at the touch, but managed to keep his head on straight for the moment. "It's just… you don't usually drink when you gamble." Lavi leaned back against the tree, his hands on Tyki's shoulders as he watched him warily. He groaned softly as Tyki's fingers found purchase, wrapping around his half-hard length.
"Just felt like it, is all," Tyki said, pressing open-mouthed kisses onto Lavi's neck. There were still bruises from the last time they'd fucked, fading yellow against his freckled skin. Tyki charmed them back to life, sucking vivid black and purple hickies onto his neck and shoulders.
Lavi could sense the lies in Tyki's words, but bit his tongue to keep from calling him out on it. He seemed like he was in a good mood, but something brewed just under the surface that left Lavi unnerved in spite of Tyki's amorous touches. "A-Are you sure?" he asked, his breath catching when Tyki nipped at his skin a little too roughly. "Aren't you… I thought you were still mad at me?"
They hadn't spoken about the incident at the inn, and even though Tyki hadn't pulled away as deliberately as Allen had, their relationship had been strained over the week, more so than before. Most surprising of all was Tyki's lack of interest in swapping skin.
Tyki hummed, the sound reverberating in his throat as he continued to kiss over Lavi's shoulder, still tipsy. "What's the point of being mad? I can't make you love me instead of him."
Lavi froze up, hands tightening in Tyki's shirt. It was so out of place to hear Tyki speak like that, and he knew it had to be the alcohol's influence leaving his lips looser than normal. He spoke of it so flippantly that it left Lavi's chest heavy with guilt—as if it were impossible for him to love Tyki.
It reminded him of his talk with Allen not a few hours earlier, of their shared kiss, and he felt twice as guilty.
"Do…Do you want me to love you?" Lavi asked, pressing his face into the crook of Tyki's neck. His heart hammered in his chest, rattling his ribcage and making it hard to breathe.
Tyki snickered, though the sound was devoid of mirth. He pulled away from Lavi's neck and grabbed his chin, forcing them to meet their gazes. He ran his thumb along Lavi's lips before leaning in and kissing him with a needy groan. He didn't answer the question, and Lavi knew bringing it up again was fruitless.
Lavi moaned into the kiss, his hips jerking up into Tyki's hand as he continued to palm him. As guilty as he felt, he couldn't push Tyki away or stop the desperate noises from crawling up his throat. He let Tyki touch him, do whatever he wanted with his body. He didn't care, as long as it eased the sick feeling in his guts and made Tyki happy.
Tyki let go of him for a short moment, just long enough to undo his own pants. When he was free, he grabbed his own cock with Lavi's in his palm and worked them together with unsteady strokes. "Mmm… You want more, Red?"
Sucking in a breath, Lavi nodded and bit his lower lip. "Y-Yes. Whatever you want. Just do it."
Grinning, Tyki kissed over his jaw before letting go of their arousals and sliding down to his knees. Lavi watched him, cheeks flushed as Tyki grabbed his hips and slipped his erection into his mouth. He let out a strangled moan, knees weak as he grabbed the tree at his back and tried to keep on his feet. Tyki's mouth was hot and wet, and fucking perfect.
Lavi's nails dug into the bark as he struggled to keep upright. The rough wood bit into his back and he fought to keep his hips still as Tyki sucked him off. He watched Tyki with a half-lidded eye as he worked back and forth on his length, hollowing out his cheeks. Tyki's tongue slid over him, strong and wet, leaving a curl of want in Lavi's guts that only grew more intense with each stroke.
"T-Tyki…" he whined, head knocking back against the tree trunk. "Please…Feels s-so good…"
Tyki hummed in reply, his mouth too busy to speak, and tightened his grip on Lavi's hips, nails digging into soft flesh. Lavi winced, but the sharp feeling disappeared with a few more strokes of Tyki's tongue.
He needed more. God, he needed more.
His fingers smoothed into Tyki's hair, tugging him back with a gentle insistence. Lavi sucked in a few breaths, his thighs shaking as he fought to get the words out. "F-Fuck me, Tyki. I want y-you inside me." He was on the cusp of an orgasm, but didn't want to cum—not yet, not when he could have that full feeling of Tyki's dick jammed so far up his ass he could taste it.
Chuckling, Tyki slipped off Lavi's cock, his lips smoothing over every ridge and curve as he watched the redhead from below. "You want it that bad, Red?" he asked, wiping at his wet lips with the back of his hand.
Lavi didn't bother to hide his aching arousal or flushed cheeks. "Yes. Yes, please," he begged, his fingers tightening in Tyki's hair.
Tyki stood on unsteady legs, leaning into Lavi and kissing him firmly. Lavi tasted the hint of his own essence on Tyki's lips, along with the heavy burn of alcohol. When Tyki pulled away, he grinned at Lavi. "Turn around."
Lavi did as asked, hands tight on the tree trunk as Tyki pulled his pants down further until they settled around his ankles. Before he could say anything, Tyki spread his legs and leaned up behind him. His lips curved into a smile against Lavi's neck. "You want it rough, Red?" Two fingers slipped into Lavi's mouth, and he moaned against them as Tyki's cock strained against his ass. "Maybe I'll rip you in two."
Lavi almost choked on the fingers in his mouth, Tyki working them deeper than normal. When he pulled them free, saliva clung to the digits, and he started fingering Lavi's ass. He whined, already feeling the stretch to be painful without proper lubrication. "M-Maybe I want you to…"
Tyki pressed his fingers into Lavi, and the redhead gasped out in pain. It was too much, too fast, but Tyki didn't slow down. "Like the first time we fucked? You took me in so well, like your ass was made for me." He curled his fingers inside of Lavi, pressing harder. "You screamed so nice—I wanted to fuck you until you lost your voice."
Tyki hit that sweet spot inside him, and Lavi moaned against the feeling. He collapsed against the tree, barely keeping on his feet as Tyki abused that sensitive area over and over again. Pain melted into pleasure so quickly that it left Lavi's head spinning. He bit his lip hard to keep his voice from echoing in the forest.
"Maybe I'll do it tonight," Tyki said, pulling his fingers free and lining himself up against his entrance. "Maybe I'll make you lose that pretty voice of yours." Without another word, he plunged into Lavi.
Tears prickled at Lavi's eye and his nails dug into the bark as he bit back a cry. Tyki grabbed his hips, forcing him back and flush against him. Lavi bent over, still clinging to the tree as Tyki began his steady, rough pace. Each thrust rubbed against Lavi's prostate, leaving him weak-kneed and groaning at the touch.
Every noise he made only encouraged Tyki to keep at it, thrusting harder and harder to force another pitiful moan from Lavi's lips. His own aching arousal still burned between his legs, stiff and throbbing in the cool night air. Lavi couldn't grab himself, though. He needed to brace against the tree or risk toppling over. It would've been easier to fuck on the ground like animals.
The wet slap of skin on skin was like a drum beat, and Lavi fell into the rhythm. It was as rough as he remembered, and when Tyki spoke so unashamed about their first time, Lavi couldn't help but feel that chill of desire crawling up his spine. Forget, forget—it was the reason he'd let Tyki fuck him in the first place. He had wanted to forget how shitty his life had become, how pointless and painful each day was. This was no difference now, even if his reasonings weren't the same. He could let Tyki fuck him until he bled for days, score his flesh with nails and teeth, and at least in that moment, Lavi would know that he was alive and he had control over something.
And Tyki wanted him. Him. He was a broken mess, a failure. He couldn't be a Bookman or an Exorcist. His life was meaningless without direction. The only reason he was still alive was because of Tyki and Allen—they kept him going. If he could help them, he could at least be useful, even if he was nothing more than a plaything.
"Ahh—Fuck!" Lavi gasped out, a particularly rough thrust rocking his body until his knees nearly gave out. He scrambled to regain his grip on the tree, nearly numb from the waist down as Tyki kept pounding into him. It hurt so much that the pain turned to pleasure, and Lavi didn't want it to stop.
Tyki gripped Lavi's hips, bruising them with strong fingers as he kept working into him. "Just like before, Red. You're so fucking gorgeous."
Lavi heaved in a breath, his throat dry and sore from panting and moaning at every thrust. "K-Keep going, God. Don't s-stop." His nails dug gouges into the tree bark, and he pressed his forehead against the wood.
"God can't hear you now," Tyki rasped, punctuating his words with a hard pump of his hips that stole what little air was left in Lavi's lungs. "But everyone else can."
Lavi groaned, his erection strained and leaking against his stomach. Tyki was hitting him in that perfect spot once more, and at the rough pace he'd set, all Lavi could do was tremble and moan as Tyki fucked him harder and harder. He whispered half words and gibberish, shaking his head back and forth. Even their first time wasn't like this—wasn't this aggressive and crude.
But he deserved to be used like a cheap toy, didn't he?
With a gasp, Lavi stiffened up and arched his back. He was so full and raw, and Tyki didn't show signs of stopping. Even without touching himself, he felt ready to burst. "T-Tyki… I can't—I'm gonna—"
"Do it, Red. Cum for me," Tyki interrupted, leaning in and biting down on his shoulder.
Lavi let out a choked moan, spilling untouched against the tree he clung to. Tyki kept fucking him, working his hips at a painful pace until he came as well. When he'd finished, he collapsed against Lavi's back, one hand on the tree to help brace his weight and the other curled tightly around Lavi's waist. They stood like that for a minute, fighting to catch their breath as their bodies cooled.
Tyki pulled out of Lavi with a sigh, and Lavi winced at the empty feeling. He was raw, sore, and cum dripped from his backside and spilled down his still-shaking legs. Shame washed over him like a wave and his stomach clenched tight. Tyki turned him around, pushing him back against the tree and kissing him—softer this time, and so opposite of how he'd been just moments ago.
"You're all dirty, Red," Tyki mumbled, kissing his neck before sliding a hand between Lavi's legs. He toyed with the cooling cum smeared over his skin. Lavi shivered.
"I know," was all he could reply with, avoiding Tyki's yellow eyes. They were too intense.
"C'mon, then. Let's clean you up and go to sleep." Tyki took a step back, tugging Lavi's loose pants back up around his waist before leading him back to the shack.
Lavi followed on numb legs, limping as he tried to keep up. He hoped he could fall asleep without worrisome thoughts cluttering his head for once, but his mind was anything but silent.
xXxXxXx
"Are you all right? You're limping…"
Lavi snapped his head up at the question, trying to hide the surprise in his eye as Allen regarded him cautiously. "I'm fine. Just, uh, a cramp."
They had to walk to town that morning, too early for Lavi's liking, and by the time they made it to the general store to buy supplies, he was rethinking last night's activities. His ass ached worse than he'd ever remembered, and every step sent a shooting pain through his abdomen. Not wanting to let Allen know what he'd done, or let on to Tyki how much he hurt, he suffered through it and pretended everything was fine.
He grabbed a few loaves of bread from the shelf and handed them to Allen. "Let's just hurry up. The sooner we get supplies, the sooner we can leave. We need to get moving if we wanna catch the boat." He picked food off the shelves so quickly that he barely looked at what he was snatching up.
Allen frowned, concern written all over his face, but he said nothing to it. "We'll make it in time." He scanned the shelves, grabbing a few items as well, but with less ruthless efficiency than Lavi had. Lavi could still feel Allen's worried eyes burning a hole in the back of his head as he collected things they might need, but he ignored it. He didn't want pity or the attention.
They hurried to the counter with their purchases, and Allen paid with the money he'd swindled a few unsuspecting drunks out of the night before. They stuffed their bags full of supplies and headed back out onto the street. The sun beat down on them as they exited, the early morning already warm and promising an even hotter day. Lavi swallowed down a sigh, shouldering his pack and heading across the sidewalk.
Tyki stood at the corner, lit cigarette between his lips as he stared off down the road. There were a couple hours until noon, but the streets already bustled with activity. Tyki didn't notice them until they were a few feet away. He pulled the cigarette from his lips and let out a smoky breath. "Ready?"
Allen nodded, adjusting the straps on his shoulders. "Did you find us a ride?"
He shook his head. "I must have one of those faces. Everyone avoided me."
With a sigh, Allen started walking, not waiting for either of them. "Try to be a little more cordial and less murderous when asking for a ride. It might help."
"You know, I could just kill someone and take their horses. Honestly, it would be so much easier."
"I wish you were joking," Allen mumbled, lips set in a thin line.
Tyki settled into stride next to Lavi, Allen just a few paces ahead of them as they walked. "I am joking, boy. C'mon, I know the rules already. No killing any fleshbag humans."
"Not exactly the tone or word choice I was hoping for." Allen didn't even glance over his stiff shoulder as he snapped back his retorts.
They continued on like that, bickering back and forth as Lavi kept his pace. Every step was agony, but he didn't make a sound as they slipped past the outskirts of town and down the winding road. They would be walking all day, and in that moment, he wasn't sure how long he'd last before they caught on to his condition, or he collapsed.
He made it an hour before Tyki noticed his fumbling footsteps.
"You don't look so good."
Lavi swallowed thickly, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth in late morning heat. Sweat prickled over his skin, sticking to clothes and hanging in his hair. He shook his head and tried to straighten his stance, even as his backside ached. "I'm fine."
Allen turned, regarding them both quietly. His lips quirked downward, a frown marring his face. "Lavi, if you're not feeling well, we should stop."
"I'm fine—let's just keep going. We don't have time to stop." Lavi tried to keep walking, but Tyki grabbed his arm and held him in place. He tugged it, but his grip stayed firm.
"You've been acting weird all morning. What's going on with you?" Tyki narrowed his eyes, jaw set tight.
"Tyki, let go." Lavi glared back at him, but the attempt was a pointless endeavor. Tyki wasn't intimidated in the least, and didn't budge.
"Not until you explain what the hell's wrong with you."
Lavi pursed his lips and looked away. He wasn't going to admit how it was hard to walk with his ass ravaged from last night's activities—especially not in front of Allen.
When the silence went on too long, Tyki sighed and pushed Lavi to the edge of the road with a sour look on his face. "If you're so worried about wasting time, then you'd better explain yourself quick. We're not leaving until you do."
"Seriously, just forget abo—" Before Lavi could spit out his entire sentence, he tripped on an uneven patch of dirt and fell over. He landed on his ass and hissed in pain as he was jarred too roughly. Clenching his teeth tight to hold in another pain-ridden noise, Lavi curled up on his side, holding his stomach and squeezing his eye shut tight.
"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed, dropping his bag and rushing to the redhead's side. Lavi felt his hands on him, warm and comforting as he tried to help him up in a sitting position. But every time he even got close to putting pressure on his ass, he winced and hissed again.
"Okay—you can't say you're not in pain now," Allen added, brows furrowed as he looked him over. "What happened? Is it your stomach?"
He must've noticed Lavi holding his midsection, and God, Lavi wished that was the case. "No," he replied, breaking out in a nervous sweat. "It's… I…" Fuck, he couldn't say it out loud. He averted his gaze, staring at the ground instead of Allen's concerned face.
There was an awkward moment, silence between them except for the comforting twittering of birds above in the trees. Before Allen could pressure Lavi for an answer, Tyki pushed him out of the way, leaving Allen to snap a few obscenities in his direction. Tyki ignored it, grabbing Lavi's arm and pulling him back up to his feet.
"You're an idiot. You should've said something." He didn't elaborate, and tossed his own pack and Lavi's to Allen. "Carry these." Tyki twisted around and pulled Lavi up onto his back. Lavi didn't even have a chance to protest before he was being carried piggyback, arms around Tyki's neck and legs dangling on either side of him.
"Put me down, Tyki." Lavi felt a flush spread over his skin, and he buried his face into Tyki's shoulder to hide it.
"Aren't you the one bitching about us being on such a tight schedule? Shut up and let me carry you. It's faster this way." Tyki tightened his grip on Lavi's legs and started back down the road, Allen following up behind with their bags.
"This is embarrassing," Lavi muttered, suddenly very happy that they were on a deserted stretch of road. He didn't want anyone to see this—it was bad enough Allen witnessed it.
"But efficient."
"I'm too heavy."
"Lucky for you, I'm beautiful and strong."
Lavi made a strangled noise in the back of throat, unable to reply properly.
Allen caught up to them both, awkwardly juggling the three packs. "Lavi, what's going on?"
He turned to the side, finally opening his eye and looking down at Allen. He wanted to explain, if nothing else to keep his friend from worrying, but the words caught in his throat.
But Tyki's lips were looser.
"I fucked him too hard last night," he said without a hint of shame. He grinned over at Allen, amused by the way his silver eyes widened and his steps faltered. "Wanna hear more about it?"
"No, thank you," Allen replied in a curt tone, turning his gaze forward and quickening his pace. Once he was far enough ahead that he couldn't hear their conversation, Lavi sighed and tightened his grip on Tyki's neck.
"Why did you have to tell him?" He knew he sounded exhausted and defeated, but he couldn't help it.
Tyki shrugged as best he could while carrying Lavi. "He wouldn't stop asking until you told him, and I knew you were too chicken shit to admit the truth."
"How noble."
"Well? Would you rather have him hound you about it until you either had to lie or admit why your ass is sore?"
"No, but—"
"Then, you're welcome," Tyki said, cutting him off.
Lavi sighed and relaxed his head against Tyki's shoulder, nose buried in the back of his neck as curly strands of black hair tickled his skin. As much as he hated to admit it, Tyki was right. Allen was too worried to let it go, and the truth was easier than a lie.
It was silent for a while, and Lavi tried to focus on the steady thump of Tyki's feet against the dirt road as he walked. He was so distracted by it that when Tyki finally spoke up again, he was surprised by the low rumble of his voice.
"You're okay, right?"
Lavi blinked, lifting his head up. He couldn't see Tyki's face from the angle he was at, but he felt the stiffness in his shoulders, and the concern in his voice was unmistakable. "Yeah…" he replied softly before clearing his throat. "I'm okay. Just really sore. Walking isn't helping."
"I gathered that, considering you looked like death warmed over."
Lavi felt Tyki's thumbs slide over his legs, a gentle caress that left him smiling. "Thanks for telling me I look like shit."
"Hey, I'm an honest guy."
"Except when playing cards."
"That's different."
"Sure it is."
"Are you sure you want to get smart with the guy who's carrying your ass?"
Lavi snickered, and it felt good to laugh, even that little bit. Their banter was a welcome relief from the painful unease that had hung between them for too long now. "Well, the only reason you're carrying my ass is because you wrecked it last night."
Tyki was quiet for a moment, hands tightening on Lavi's thighs as he continued to walk. "…You're sure you're okay?"
The concern in his voice was palpable, and Lavi pressed his nose against Tyki's shoulder. "I'm sure." Even as embarrassed as he was, he placed a small kiss in the crook of Tyki's neck. "Don't worry. You only did what I asked you to."
Tyki let out a short, clipped laugh, but it rang hollow in Lavi's ears. "Worry? I'm not worried, Red. Why would I be worried about you?"
Lavi closed his eye, smiling softly to himself. "My mistake."
xXxXxXx
They had found a town to stop at before nightfall, and instead of pressing through, Tyki insisted they rest for the night. He was exhausted from carrying Lavi most of the way, and the redhead didn't look much better. He still had that sickly pallor to his skin, the corner of his eye pinched like he was in pain but wouldn't admit it. Besides, traveling at night and half-cocked was the perfect excuse for Akuma or Noah to ambush them. They couldn't risk it.
After grabbing dinner at the tavern, they retired to the inn to rest up for tomorrow's travel. Lavi crawled into bed as soon as he could, too tired and sore to do anything but pass out. With his head too jumbled to sleep, Tyki stood outside, smoking by himself as he loitered by the entrance. The cool summer air helped calm his thoughts and clear his head.
When he heard the front door to the inn open and close again, he paid it no mind. People had been filtering in and out for a while now. But movement next to him caught his eye. Allen stood at his side, a sour look on his face, and arms crossed over his chest. He stared at Tyki, stance aggressive as he narrowed his eyes.
"And what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, boy?" Tyki asked, turning his eyes back to the street and taking another drag from his cigarette. He already knew, or at least had an inkling, about what Allen wanted to say. But he liked playing dumb, if nothing else, to piss him off.
Allen stood there for a good minute, glaring with seething contempt. Just as Tyki was about to tell him to say something or leave, Allen pushed him hard against the wall, Innocence activated on his left hand. Tyki's head knocked against the wood as Allen pinned him there, claw tight over his chest. Tyki tried to move or phase through the hold, but Crown Clown was like iron shackles. He couldn't budge, and that itchy, uncomfortable feeling of being too close to Innocence made his blood burn—a deep need to destroy it bubbling to the surface.
Tyki grit his teeth, cigarette still pinched between them as he grinned down at Allen. "You seem upset."
Allen's eyes narrowed and he ignored the comment. "Listen, and listen closely, because I'm only going to say this once." He leaned in closer, looking up at Tyki. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing with Lavi, but it ends now."
A choked laugh rumbled in Tyki's throat. He strained against Allen's hold to glower down at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Allen tightened his grip, and Tyki winced, the cigarette falling from his lips. "I don't know why you're stringing him along, but I'm not letting it happen anymore. Leave him alone or you answer to me."
"As if that's a threat," Tyki scoffed. "Besides, Red wants me. Good luck with that." Even though he said the words with ease and confidence, doubt clouded his thoughts. But his poker face held up, even under Allen's scrutiny.
"You've been toying with him for months now. Lavi told me what happened." Tyki held his smug glare, ignoring Allen's words. "If you don't actually care for him, you need to stop this."
"It's none of your business."
"It's my business when you hurt my friend, Tyki. And I'd say after today's shitshow, it's obvious you're hurting him."
Tyki stiffened at the accusation, and he felt that annoying pang of guilt deep in his chest. He swallowed it down. "That was an accident."
"I think you hurt him on purpose."
"You're just jealous that he's fucking me and not you." Tyki spat the words out so fast, like a reflex. Allen didn't flinch, as if he'd been expecting the taunt, and it threw him off that he didn't get the response he'd wanted. "C'mon—you can't tell me it doesn't eat you up inside that he's mine and not yours."
"I don't care who he's with." Allen's face was set hard, his silver eyes never leaving Tyki's as he spoke. "All I care about is that he's happy and healthy—and I know he can be neither of those things with you right now."
Tyki couldn't keep eye contact anymore, twisting his head to the side and clenching his jaw tight. "Aren't you just a fucking saint."
Allen watched him for another long moment before finally letting go and deactivating his Innocence. The burning itch receded, but Tyki didn't move away from the wall. He still felt Allen's eyes on him, watching and waiting.
"You know he cares about you, right?" Allen said suddenly, the hard edge in his voice cracking just enough for Tyki to notice.
Tyki chuckled, digging his blunt nails into the palms of his hands. "Does he?"
Allen turned away and walked back inside the inn. "You'd be surprised."
Keeping his back firm against the wall, Tyki waited until Allen was out of sight. When he was blissfully alone once more, he let out a sigh and patted down his pockets, looking for his pack of smokes. He pulled another cigarette out and lit it quickly, taking a long drag and letting the smoke fill his lungs.
He would never get to sleep at this rate.
xXxXxXx
Lavi groaned, feeling the mattress dip down next to his hip as someone sat in the bed with him. He rolled to his back, still sore and bleary-eyed. He'd only slept for a few hours, and it had to be close to midnight by now. "Tyki?" he mumbled, rubbing at his eye.
He felt the weight shift again, now on his hips, but it was wrong—too light to be Tyki. When Lavi finally opened his eye and looked up, he blinked. "…Al?"
"Guess again."
Yellow eyes stared down at him, and Lavi stiffened up at the realization that this was not his friend pinning him to the bed—
It was the 14th.
Lavi jerked upwards, hoping to toss Alle—the 14th, off of him. He struggled, legs caught in the blankets and his head still fuzzy from sleep. But the tumbling ended as the 14th pressed the point of a blade at Lavi's throat. The tip dug in, sharp and tight.
"Ah, ah, ah," the 14th tsked, adjusting his position. He sat on Lavi's hips, one hand on his chest while the other pressed the knife point right against his neck. "Stay still or my hand might slip." The smile that curled up on his lips made Lavi's stomach churn. It was a look that should never have been on his friend's face. He wanted to puke.
He averted his gaze for just a second, but the 14th pressed the blade firmly against his neck. Lavi looked back, gaze captured by those yellow eyes.
God, they looked just like Tyki's…
"He's not here, Bookman Junior," the 14th said, raising his eyebrows as he leaned in closer. "It's just you and me."
Lavi's chest heaved up and down, panic ringing in his ears. He wanted to run, toss the Noah off him and make a break for the door, but one wrong move and the 14th would slit his throat without a second thought. He just had to wait—wait for an opportunity. Keep him talking—stall.
"What do you want?" Lavi asked, forcing himself to even out his breathing and set his jaw tight.
"Right to the point." The 14th's smile faded a touch, but he didn't move. "I know you've been traveling with Allen. I've seen that he has a plan. Tell me what it is."
Lavi blinked, frozen in place as he stared back up at the 14th. He swallowed, feeling the pinch of the blade against his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, what a liar you are." The amusement in the 14th's voice sent a chill down Lavi's spine. Even using Allen's body, using his voice, he sounded nothing like Allen. "Tell me or I start using you as my new favorite pincushion." To illustrate his point, he ran the knife blade over Lavi's skin, scraping his flesh and leaving a score of red marks.
Sweat prickled over Lavi's skin, but he held firm. He'd survived the Noah's torture when he'd been trapped with Bookman—he could handle this. He could handle this.
"I don't know. Allen never told m—Ah!"
One sharp twist of the knife nicked Lavi's skin. The initial sting faded, but he felt the blood well up against the cut and dribble down the curves of his neck. He missed Lavi's vital points, but the message was clear—he wasn't fucking around.
"Don't make me hurt you, Junior. I would just feel terrible about it." The 14th shifted his weight, pressing his hand harder on Lavi's chest.
There was a beat, silence filling the room when Lavi refused to speak. The 14th continued to watch his face, then hummed. "I can see why Allen likes you."
He twitched. He hadn't meant to, but he couldn't help it.
"He's harder to control now, you know," the 14th continued, as if they were talking over tea instead of with a knife pressed to Lavi's throat. "It was easier when he was alone. He's so stubborn, but his friends give him an edge."
Another beat of silence, then, "And how he loves you, Junior."
It wasn't the first time Lavi had heard the sentiment, but having the 14th say it, that he knew it as well, left Lavi full of emotions he couldn't process. His breath stilled in his throat, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Words failed him.
The 14th smiled, sickly sweet, and tested the blade on Lavi's neck once more. He drew blood with a shallow cut, waiting for a reaction. Lavi held his breath, not moving. "Maybe I should kill you. If he didn't have you, he would be easier to control."
Lavi's eyebrow twitched, but he said nothing. His solitary green eye stayed trained on the Noah pinning him down.
The 14th's lips pulled up in a mirthless smile as he watched Lavi's face. "Or, I could just hurt you… Hurt you so bad that Allen would be too guilty to stay." The hand on Lavi's chest slipped lower, nails scratching down his chest until his fingers settled over the slight bulge of his pants. Lavi sucked in a sharp breath, tried to pull away, but the knife dug harder against his neck and stilled his movements. "I'm sure Allen wouldn't be able to look you in the eye after I ruin you."
"Don't—" Lavi tried to swallow, but the knife was too tight against his neck. He lost his composure, uneven breaths leaving his body trembling.
"Technically, this is Allen's body," the 14th said, groping Lavi more deliberately. It was a rough touch, unwelcome. "Don't you want him? I'm sure you do… I've seen some of his memories of you."
"N-No, I—"
"Allen and I both know how you like it," the 14th added, cupping him tighter. Lavi winced and closed his eye. "You let Tyki dirty you. I'll have to be extra rough, just to make it hurt."
"I didn't," Lavi insisted, his hands tightening in the sheets under him.
"Liar," the 14th said, his voice melodic as he nicked Lavi's skin again. This time, Lavi hissed in pain, wincing hard as he tried not to move too much for fear of having his throat cut more. "It doesn't matter, though. As long as I hurt you enough, Allen will give in."
Lavi's neck burned from all the shallow wounds, the cuts itching as blood dribbled over his skin. But the knife wounds were nothing compared to the way the 14th touched him through his pants. It left a disgusted shiver trembling up his spine. He couldn't stop him, couldn't move without risking a knife in his throat, and when the 14th began to undo his pants, Lavi knew he was fucked. He closed his eye and clenched his jaw. He only hoped it would be over quickly.
Then, in a flash, the pressure on his body was gone. He heard scuffling and the sounds of struggle filling the room. Lavi opened his eye, free of the 14th's hold. He sat up in bed and his gaze drew to the two men on the floor.
Tyki straddled the 14th's hips, one hand on the back of his head and pushing his face into the floor as he pinned his arms behind him. Lavi saw the 14th struggling with Tyki's grip, but he couldn't move more than a few inches.
"Get the fuck off me!" the 14th growled, teeth grinding as he squirmed under Tyki.
Ignoring the command, Tyki turned his focus on Lavi as he fought to keep the 14th still. "Red, get the rope from the bag."
Lavi could only stare down at them, watching the 14th's face twisted up in fury. He couldn't see any of Allen in that violent visage, even with it being his. The 14th's essence seemed to take over every cell of Allen's being, and even Lavi had a hard time recognizing him. He was not the same.
"Lavi," Tyki called once more, this time using his name. "The rope. I can't hold him down forever."
Snapping out of his thoughts, Lavi stumbled out of the bed, legs tangling in the sheets as he tried to pull free. He hurried to one of their packs and pulled out the rope—a short length of it, just enough to tie someone up. They'd carried it just in case of such a situation, at Allen's request. Lavi had hoped they wouldn't have to use it.
He had hoped for a lot of things.
Lavi untangled the braided rope, wrapping a length of it around the 14th's hands until they were firmly tied behind his back. Once he'd finished, Tyki hauled him up by the knot and tossed him into a chair, tying him to the frame before binding his feet as well.
Standing awkwardly by the disheveled bed, Lavi watched as Tyki finished off the knots. The 14th struggled and cursed under his breath, but was otherwise immobile. Tyki stood a few feet away, watching their bound companion with a wary eye as he caught his breath from the tussle.
The 14th narrowed his eyes, glaring at Tyki. "Didn't you know it's rude to interrupt?" he spat, arms and legs straining against the bindings.
"You're lucky I didn't rip out your heart and make you eat it," Tyki growled back, taking a threatening step forward.
With a chuckle, the 14th leaned back in the chair. "Touchy. Someone doesn't like it when other people play with his toy, does he?"
The crack of knuckles against the 14th's face resonated through the room and Lavi jumped back at the sound. Tyki had moved so fast to punch him that he barely saw it happen. The 14th's skin blossomed with a dark red mark just over his scarred cheek, and Lavi knew it would turn to a nasty purple and blue before morning. The punch nearly knocked the 14th out cold, his head lolled to the side like a ragdoll. He didn't speak after that.
Tyki moved forward, ready to clock him once more, but before he let loose his fist for a second time, Lavi grabbed his arm at the elbow to stop him. "Don't—You'll hurt him!"
Turning on Lavi, Tyki's eyes widened, a look of disbelief on his face. "Hurt him?! Are you kidding me, Red? You're defending him after what he did to you?!"
Lavi had to take a few steps back to give himself space. Tyki's outburst was too loud, too angry to deal with in that moment. The backs of his legs hit the mattress, but he stayed standing, knees weak as he wobbled in place. One hand curled protectively around his neck. The cuts still stung. "If you hurt him, you hurt Allen, too."
"Of-fucking-course," Tyki growled under his breath, turning away from Lavi. His shoulders stiffened up, shaking from the pent-up rage as he snatched a bag off the ground and rummaged through it. He said nothing after that, the tension simmering in the room like a pot ready to boil over.
Lavi glanced over at the 14th, and found his painfully yellow eyes staring him down. He shivered against the glare, averting his gaze and staring at the floor. He ran a finger over one of the deeper cuts on his neck, smearing blood against this skin. His throat felt tight. He couldn't breathe…
"Sit."
The command took Lavi by surprise, and when he looked up, Tyki was next to him, gauze and first aid supplies in hand. He did as asked, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed as Tyki pulled out the antiseptic. He tilted up Lavi's chin with one finger and began cleaning the shallow wounds. As pissed as Tyki had sounded earlier, his touch was nothing but gentle as he disinfected each cut. The cold cream against his skin had Lavi wincing.
"I'm fine. You don't have to do this."
"Just shut up and let me help you," Tyki said, exhaustion heavy in his voice. He smoothed over each cut and nick with a gentleness that Lavi wouldn't bother with for himself. He could feel Tyki trembling with each touch.
It reminded Lavi of their encounters at the mansion, when he would mouth off to the wrong person and get himself smacked around for the effort. Tyki always seemed to show up at just the right time to help. It was no different now. Had he returned to the room a few moments later, Lavi didn't know if he could claim he was simply "fine."
After bandaging the wounds, Tyki put the supplies away. Lavi didn't budge from his spot on the bed. His body felt like lead, heavy and immobile. Silence blanketed the room, and all Lavi could hear was Tyki fumbling with the bags. When he was done, he sat on the edge of the bed next to Lavi. He gently touched the small of his back before finally speaking again.
"Go to sleep. I'll keep an eye on our uninvited guest for the night."
Lavi snapped his chin up and stared at Tyki. However, his eyes were focused on the 14th, unwavering. "You haven't slept at all yet. I can watch him," he said, sitting up straighter.
"Sleep." Tyki said nothing else after that, not even meeting Lavi's gaze. But the hand on the redhead's back smoothed over his hip, a soft caress that had Lavi's heart in his throat. He knew he couldn't argue anymore.
Without a word, Lavi crawled onto the mattress and slipped under the disheveled blankets. He turned on his side, facing the wall as he curled up into a ball. He felt the eyes of the 14th burning into his back, uncomfortable and intrusive. It made his throat ache and his skin crawl.
Tyki shifted his weight on the bed, but didn't leave it. The warmth and pressure was the only thing keeping Lavi from panicking. When had Tyki's presence become so calming? So comforting? He didn't know, couldn't recall the exact moment, but it helped his heart stop beating like a drum in his chest and gave him the chance to relax. Before he could put too much thought into it, he fell asleep.
xXxXxXx
Allen felt like shit.
He woke early that morning, sunlight softly streaming into the inn room and irritating his tired eyes. Consciousness came in hazy spurts, but he noticed two things immediately: he was tied to a chair, and his face hurt like hell. With a soft groan he pulled his head up straight, blinking carefully and taking in his surroundings.
His gaze was drawn to Tyki—sitting next to the small window and smoking as he stared down at the street below. He was oddly quiet, a pensive look on his face. When he noticed Allen was awake, he focused on him.
"Ah, look who's back."
Allen tried to swallow, but found his throat dry and sore. He shifted in the chair, testing the rope around his wrists. Heaving a sigh, he dropped his chin to his chest. There was only one reason why he'd be tied up like this. "What did he do?"
Tyki took another deep lungful of smoke, letting it simmer inside him before slowly blowing it out his nose. He didn't answer right away, or even move from his seat near the window. It put Allen on edge. "…You want the abridged version or the play-by-play?"
Allen shifted against the restraints again. "Tyki…"
He stood up and snuffed out the cigarette directly on the window sill before turning back to Allen. "He attacked Lavi."
Allen's heart dropped into his stomach, the blood running cold in his veins. "What?!"
"Keep it down, boy. He's still sleeping."
Panic welled up in his chest, and he fought the bindings furiously. He had to check on Lavi, make sure he was okay, see what he did to him. "But, what happened? Is he—?!"
"He's fine. Stop pissing yourself over it." Tyki untied the knots at Allen's hands and feet, freeing him from the bindings. His hands pulled free first, and he rubbed his sore wrists, watching Lavi from across the room with worried eyes.
Allen already felt the self-hatred growing in his guts, black and writhing like tentacles of dark sludge. "What happened, exactly?" Part of him didn't want to know, thinking it would be better if he stayed in the dark. But if Lavi had been hurt, he couldn't sit idly by and stay ignorant. He might not have been the one to hurt him, but it was his body that was used to perpetrate the acts. It left him feeling sick and dirty.
Tyki finished untying the knots at his ankles. "I don't know what all went down," he said, not looking up at Allen as he worked. "But when I came in, he had a knife to Lavi's throat while he was grabbing his dick. So, what would you call it?"
"Oh, God," Allen mumbled, feeling the swell of his last meal attempting to crawl back up his throat. "Oh, God." He covered his mouth with his hands and squeezed his eyes shut tight.
Self-loathing ate away at Allen, dragging him down a dark path he'd hoped he had strayed from since joining Lavi and Tyki on their mission to free themselves from their Noah memories. But life had a way of knocking him down every time he thought he'd had a steady foothold. Now, he couldn't even trust himself to be alone around anyone. He was a monster. A menace.
Dangerous.
When he finally looked up again, Tyki was watching him with wary eyes, his face a strange mix of concern and disgust. It was weird seeing him like that, as if he had an ounce of compassion for his plight. Though, Allen figured that if anyone could understand his predicament, it was Tyki. He wasn't the only one with another consciousness hoping to take control of his body.
"Did I—" Allen cut himself off with a cough, clearing his throat. He barely recognized his own voice. "Is it bad? Are you sure Lavi's okay?"
Tyki's gaze drifted towards Lavi's sleeping form for a brief moment before he regarded Allen again. He chewed at the inside of his lip before replying. "He's got a few scrapes on his neck from the knife. He was mostly just shaken up."
While Tyki made it sound minor, Allen couldn't keep the creeping dread from suffocating him. He could've hurt Lavi—he could've killed him. That sick feeling clenched his stomach again. If something had happened, if something worse had happened, and Tyki hadn't been there to stop him, Allen didn't know if he could keep going with that guilt. As it was, the burden was too much to bear.
"Tyki," he said, voice wavering as he stared at Lavi's back, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. He was still asleep, and Allen counted it as a small favor. He wasn't sure he could face him right then. "If it happens again… If I lose control and the 14th takes over, just kill me."
Tyki chuckled, low and mirthless as he moved back to his seat at the window. "You think Red would let me even touch you?" He shook his head, and scratched at his chin absently.
"It's for his own good. If I can't…. If I can't control the 14th, then I'm useless." Allen continued to rub at his sore wrists, focusing his eyes on Tyki. "Just end it."
"That doesn't sound like you, boy, giving up so easily." Tyki leaned back in his chair, smirking over at Allen. "I didn't realize you were so weak."
Allen sighed, a sad smile gracing his lips. "I am weak, and tired. And I don't know how much longer I can keep walking."
Tyki let out a haughty chuckle, pulling his arms behind his head. "All right. I'll kill you if need be. It would be my pleasure."
"Thank you," Allen said, relief flooding his chest. He knew Lavi would be against this arrangement, but it didn't matter. It was for his own good, and everyone else's. He couldn't be a danger to them anymore.
Allen rubbed his face, and flinched when pain radiated through his cheek and nose. "By the way, why does my face hurt?"
"Because I hit you," Tyki said, unashamed. "Well, I hit the 14th, but technically, it's still hitting you."
With a soft laugh, Allen closed his eyes. "It feels like old times." He gingerly touched his nose and cheek testing the flesh for sore points. "Are you going to try to rip my heart out again?"
Tyki's grin was less than comforting. "I might."