"Satou Kazuma. You have died."
The words echoed in my head.
Damn, death is weirder than I expected. Although I'm not sure what I expected in the first place.
The spear of light piercing my chest was the cause of my death, that I know for sure. But how much has time passed since then I wonder? The experience itself felt like one messed up dream sequence. Or would it be called a nightmare? I looked down at my chest and touched it. To my surprise, there was no injury in sight. Not even a scar or a trace of blood. But my clothes still had a hole where I was impaled.
"Your untimely demise was due to the hands of a Fallen Angel."
A Fallen... Angel?
What is that, an angel who tripped and sprained their ankle? Hey, I've been called 'Fallen Kazuma' for falling down the stairs when I was in Elementary school. I sprained my ankle that day... I'm getting off topic what are we talking about again?
"I… What?"
"I will answer your questions. What is it that you want to know?"
"What happened to Issei?" I answer straight away.
"Ah, perhaps you mean the other boy." I feel like the girl before me is forcing a smile. I wonder if that's my imagination? "He was reincarnated into a Devil."
"A what."
"Yes, a Devil. Before you ask any more questions, allow me to explain. In the world you live in, most, if not all mythologies and legends exist."
My jaw dropped at the revelation of information.
"Yes. Gods, Devils, Fallen Angels, Angels, Dragons, Heroes, Youkai, Vampires, they all exist."
The supernatural exists...? Then... Then that must mean that creature must also exist!
"D-Do, succubi exist?" I nervously asked, masking my excitement.
The blue-haired girl twitched.
"...Yes." She had a very unimpressed face. But it didn't bother me anyway what so ever. "You do realise I am a Goddess right?"
"You're a what."
"I am Aqua, the Kono Goddess of water."
"Hi I'm Kazuma."
Did I just introduce myself instinctively? What's wrong with me?
Getting off topic again.
"Um, about Issei. I heard that he got turned into a Devil but... is he alright?"
"How should I know? I'm not an all-knowing entity."
"..."
What a pitiful excuse of a Goddess. I sure hope that not all Gods and Goddess are like her.
"Besides. Now that he's turned into a Devil, he is now an entity of Evil! I would forget about him if I were you."
"Hey! He's my best friend!"
The impression the Goddess gave me two minutes earlier was completely gone. I'm starting to dislike her.
"Anyways, Here are two options now that you've died: Option One- You go to Heaven, Option Two- You go to another world. Oh, and by the way, Heaven is really boring. It's lead by a boring Angel named Michael. I really advise you not to go there. Seriously, it's boring."
Hm? What about God, the Biblical one? Doesn't he lead Heaven?
"On the other hand, If you choose to go to another world, It would be amazing! And as a bonus, you would be granted a one and only power. It could be a powerful unique ability. For example, a legendary weapon. Come on, it can be anything. You have the privilege to bring this one thing to the other world."
This sounds oddly like an advertisement on a radio...
After hearing Goddess' explanation, I took the catalogue and started browsing it.
On it was 'Unnatural Strength', 'Super Magic', 'Holy Sword Arondight', 'Demon Sword Murasame'… And all sorts of names. I got it, I could choose one item from here. Am I about to become an Isekai Protagonist? Was this my destiny from the very start? (Am I going to get a Harem?)
But… I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I could just abandon the world I grew up in.
I hesitated. Everything was happening too fast.
Is this truly all right…? But more importantly, does this mean that I will never meet a succubus?
"Hey Goddess."
"Call me Aqua-sama, and yes what is it? I don't have much time you know, there are still many dead souls waiting in line!"
My eyebrow twitched.
"Aqua… Can I return back to my world?"
"No, It's against the law. Do you know how many Gods will be angry at me if I do that? Why do you want to return in the first place? It's not like anyone misses you."
This… This bitch.
"Hey!"
Whoops, I said that out loud. But I don't care because I already hate this Goddess.
I made up my mind.
"…You said I could take one item to take with me to the other world right?"
"Oh! Are you-"
I chuckle, "I'll take…" I point my finger at the Goddess. "…You."
"Okay, Please don't move away from the centre of the Magic Circ-"
Aqua suddenly stopped talking.
"Eh?"
And in the next moment-
"I understand. Well then, I will take over Aqua-sama's job from now on."
With a flash of white light, a winged woman appeared out of nowhere. … Simply put, it was a woman who was the epitome of Beauty.
"… Eh?"
Under the feet of Aqua who squealed in surprise, as well as under my feet, a blue magic circle appeared.
Oh, what is this? Am I really going to another world? It wasn't a scam?
"Wait, huh, what is happening? Eh, you can't be serious? No no, hold on, this is too weird! It is cheating to bring a goddess along! No count? This shouldn't count! Wait! Wait okay?" Aqua panicked with tears in her eyes; she was a mess. And I enjoyed it.
"Goodbye, Aqua-sama. Pleases leave the rest to me. We will send envoys to welcome you back right after the Demon Lord is defeated. Before you return, I will handle all your tasks."
"Wait! Wait! As a goddess, I possess healing powers, not combat abilities! It is impossible for me to defeat the Demon Lord!"
The silver-haired Goddess who appeared ignored Aqua, who collapsed on the floor crying, and smiled gently at me.
"Satou Kazuma san. You will be heading to another world now and become one of the candidate heroes to defeat the Demon Lord. You will receive a gift from the gods the moment you defeat the Demon Lord."
"… Gift?"
"That's right, a gift befitting a World Savior… You will be granted a wish, it can be anything you want."
"Oh. "
"Wait! Giving that cool speech is my job!"
Aqua wailed on the floor after the other Goddess took her job. And so, I pointed at Aqua and said;
"How does it feel to be companions with a man you look down on? Hey, you are the 'thing' chosen by me to be brought along. Since you are a goddess, use your godly powers to make my adventure a breeze!"
"NO~! Going to another world with a man like this, no way~!"
I laugh with all my might as I see the pitiful Goddess' face of despair.
"Hero! May you be victorious among the many hero candidates, and become the one to defeat the Demon Lord… Well then, I bid you farewell!"
"NOOOOO! I won't accept this! I'll never go to the other world with this guy! HAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"A-A-Aqua Senpai! What are you-"
"HAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!"
And then, a bright blue light surrounded Aqua and I. Haha! Another world, here I come!
...
...
...
...What the fuck is this place.
I can't breathe, I can't move and most importantly I couldn't yell at Aqua. It's as if I'm completely frozen.
Although it appears that Aqua herself is not. In the corner of my eye, I see her holding her head and shaking her own hair.
"No no no no no I messed up, no no no."
Although I couldn't move a single muscle, I could hear her pathetic words of regret. Let's ignore her for now.
Fortunately enough I could move my eyeballs and the view around me was quite a spectacle. Everywhere I looked, it was a mix of iridescent colours. It was almost as if I was looking through a kaleidoscope. Again, the same question popped up in my head.
What the fuck is this place.
At the very least, I know that I am not in Japan.
"This wasn't supposed to happen... Ahhh, what should I do!"
But first I want Aqua to shut up.
She probably messed up the transportation ritual, she resisted pretty hard after all. What an absolute letdown. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.
It was then, a giant red dragon made its appearance right before us. It was colossal, bigger than any building I've ever seen. It had a large horn on its snout and two sets of wings on its back. If I said it was overwhelming it would be the understatement of the year. It's giant eye looked at Aqua, and then to me.
I notice that Aqua visibly paled.
"A-Ah, Good day to you Great Red-san. N-Nice weather w-we're having."
What kind of dumb name is 'Great Red'? Also, there's no weather you idiot.
The dragon made no reply. Instead, it just kept staring at me with its large golden orbs. I felt a shiver down my spine... This is very uncomfortable, is this what the Kendo girls felt when I looked at them with not-so-good thoughts in my mind? I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologise for my actions... Except for Murayama who beat up my friends all the time. Fuck you Murayama.
That being said, this is hella creepy. The 'Great Red' dragon has been looking at me for a solid minute now and Aqua is still sweating nervously for some reason.
But before I could make another thought, I passed out due to the lack of oxygen.
.
.
.
The next time I opened my eyes I realised I could breathe. Wow, what a reliever. But for some reason, my face hurts... Did Aqua punch me?
I sat up slowly while rubbing my face and checked my surroundings.
One Aqua, one concrete ceiling, three concrete walls and metal bars. Seems normal.
Wait what, no it doesn't.
I stand up abruptly and shook on the bars. They weren't budging an inch... It appears that I am in a jail cell of some sort.
Nani.
I walk over to Aqua who was curled up in a ball in the corner. I was about to yell at her when I noticed a golden letter in her hands, it had a strange golden aura coming off of it. Curiously, I nabbed the piece of paper and read it.
'To Aqua, The Water Goddess,
For breaking the universal law of life #2, We, the council of Kono Gods and the Contractor have decided to punish you. You are hereby forbidden to return to the Kono Realm unless proven worthy and you must be responsible for the Mortal you presented a second life to. In addition, we have halved your powers. However, we will return it after you have fully repented for your actions.
Be thankful that the Contractor did not deliver a harsher punishment.
-Council of the Kono Gods.'
I scrunch up the letter and collect my thoughts.
So basically, this idiot had been stripped of her position of 'Goddess' and I was given a second chance at life. I threw the scrunched up letter at her head with full force.
"Wake up bimbo!" I honestly didn't care what or who the 'Contractor' or 'Kono Gods' were. I just wanted to go home and play games. I bent down so my face was in front of hers. "Where the fuck are we!?"
Aqua twitches and her eyes start to open. For the first ten seconds, she had a confused expression on her face. Following the confusion was the shock. And shortly after, tears welled up in her eyes and she started to cry. For some reason, that pissed me off greatly.
"I didn't ask you to cry! I asked where we are and how we got here!"
That was a lie. I didn't ask the last part. But I shook Aqua by the shoulders and demanded answers anyway.
"Keep quiet!"
I heard an unfamiliar voice. I postponed shaking Aqua and turned around to the metal bars to see a young woman with long, straight black hair. She adjusted her triangular glasses and looked at me as if I was made of filth. I was already used to those eyes back at Kuoh Academy so it didn't affect me what so ever.
"Now that you have woken up, you will follow us into the interrogation room and answer our questions. Is that clear?"
I wasn't even given the time to reply as two heavily armoured guards unlocked the cell door and forcibly dragged me out.
'Follow us into the interrogation room' my ass! I didn't even get a choice! Damn it, where is my lawyer when I need him the most! Not that I know any lawyer but still. Aqua's cries became fainter and fainter as I neared what I presumed would be the 'interrogation room'. There better not be torture tools...
To my surprise, there was only a table, two chairs and a half white half black... bell thing. I was escorted to sit down on one chair and the mean looking, probably single woman sat on the chair opposite to mine. She wore a stern expression on her face as she started to speak.
"My name is Sena, Head of International affairs of Asgard."
"Hi I'm Kazuma."
Did I just instinctively introduce myself again? What's wrong with me?
"You were found unconscious in the private room of Odin-sama's assistant alongside a crying blue-haired woman who proclaimed to be a Goddess."
Oh okay, cool... What.
"Odin?" I uttered those words without even thinking. My brain processed the foreign words at a million miles per hour. The conclusion that my fabulous mind came to was that I might not be in Japan. "Huh?"
"Acting dumb will not help you." Sena readjusted her glasses a third time. It kind of reminds me of Sona. "We have a lie detector right here so there is no use tricking us either." Sena pointed to the half white half black bell thing on the table.
"Uh, okay."
To my casual reply, Sena narrows her eyes and stares- no, glares at me straight in the eye. Heh, the girls back at Kuoh Academy did that as well so I'm not bothered at all... It's the thoughts like these that make me wonder if I'm actually just a loser. Why am I like this? I'll save my existential crisis for another time.
"First question. Who are you and where did you come from? List your age, occupation and affiliation as well."
Is this a job interview?
"I am Kazuma Satou, sixteen and a regular high school student. I lived in Japan and I don't think I'm affiliated with anyone."
"Second question. How did you get here?"
"I don't know."
I literally fainted and then woke up in a cell with no explanation. How would I suppose to know?
"..."
The bell didn't ring for both questions. Sena has an uneasy expression on her face.
"What are your motives for coming to Asgard?"
"What's an Ass guard?"
"..."
Sena now has an irritated expression. There's something interesting about seeing her face morph so quickly. It's like she's doing face yoga at high speed.
"What are your motives for coming to 'Asgard'?"
"I don't and didn't have plans. I actually want to go home right now." I answer honestly. Today has been a long tiring day, I want ice cream too. "Also is this place actually Asgard? From Norse mythology? I really didn't know."
Again, the bell didn't ring, indicating the truth behind my words.
"I see... One final question." Sena's expression tightened and there was a hint of malice behind her eyes. "Are you an enemy to Asgard and its ruler, Odin-sama?"
"Uhh I don't think so. No."
Sena visibly relaxed as the look in eyes softened.
"I see... Then we are finished. I will interrogate your companion next."
"Why didn't you interrogate the first?" I asked.
"We tried Kazuma Satou." Sena sighed, as if remembering a painful memory. "But all she did was cry at every question."
I didn't know whether to laugh or sigh with her. So instead, I corrected her on one thing.
"By the way, she's not my companion."
'RING!~'
The bell made its noise.
"..."
"..."
We walked back to the cell in silence as Sena and the previous two guards escorted me.
But when we got there we saw a rather peculiar sight.
For one, Aqua was out of the cell. For two, she was somehow sobbing and whining at the same time to an... old man? He had long, grey hair and a matching beard. He wore a gold and white monocle over his left eye. But strangely enough, it was without the addition of a chain. He also had an expensive looking robe, which was short and blue with a gold lining on the top and bottom of the collar. Huh, who is this guy?
Sena froze up with her mouth agape.
"O-Odin-sama!?"
Nani.
AN: (Kind of important)
I want to make it clear that Kazuma will be the central character of this fic. This fic IS called 'Kazuma's Bizarre Adventure' after all.
But from time to time, there will be little snippets of Issei and his time but only the JUICIEST parts will be selected.
Anyway, Sena has been introduced and Rossweisse will appear in the next chappie.
Also obligatory JoJo's Bizarre adventure references to come in the future. I have not decided when though.
Cheers. Chomusuke.