A/N: Hey, Thanks for all of your reviews, I wasn't going to continue with this story, but now I am going to see it through!! Thanks for all of the nice comments, I hope I don't disappoint
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight :(
Edward's POV
I had broken things off with Bella, and the sad part was that I couldn't follow through. I knew I was doing it for her, no matter how much it hurt me, I had to. I had to keep her safe, at all costs, even if it killed me. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I were to kill her by accident. If I even lost control for one moment she would be dead, without question. I couldn't stay with her and keep her safe so I did the only thing that I thought I could do, I ended it.
Ever since that moment in the forest, my life has been at a record low. I was an absolute wreck. And what's worse, is that I couldn't even follow through with my plan. You see, I never truly left. I couldn't. Believe me, I tried. It's been a never ending struggle. But, I couldn't leave her. Not with Victoria still out there, plotting her next move.
It killed me to see her in the untimely state she was in after I left. I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms and promise her that everything would be alright. Unfortunately, I would never be able to make that particular promise, for it would cause me to break another one. I had promised her that night in the forest that she would never have to see me again. I said that so she would have the opportunity to move on with her life. Her human life. But just because I promised she would never have to see me again, didn't mean that I couldn't watch over her.
I allowed myself to check on her almost every night, but I never stayed for long. One night I broke and stayed all night. It ripped me apart. She cried and screamed and I was ashamed with myself for letting her hurt this way. I actually don't even think ashamed covers it, I was disgusted with myself. I knew that this wouldn't last for long, at least that's what I told myself. I knew that eventually, she would get over me and find someone new, someone whole. She had to. So I continued to stay hidden, no matter how much it killed me. When she started spending time with Jacob Black it was almost a relief for me. This was what I wanted so badly, for her to go through her life as a human, right?
I started using Jacob's thoughts as my medium to Bella. When they had started seeing each other more and more, she was all he thought about. It was killing me. Hearing Jacob think about Bella the way he did almost caused me to come unglued, but I knew it was for the best. I attempted to leave again, this time for good, because she was obviously starting to move on. But, I was still drawn to her, and that caused me to yet again fail at attempting to leave. I stayed within a few miles radius of Jacob so that his thought would always be there when I needed them.
I stopped listening to Jacob's thoughts so much because of how badly it hurt. I essentially skimmed over them every once in a while just to make sure she was ok. I did go to see Bella on occasion. I didn't stay all night like I did that one time, I just popped my head in and out of her window and I was gone.
I was walking on the outskirts of the reservation checking up on Jacob's thoughts. Bella had been staying at the reservation quite frequently because of Victoria…safety measures. Before today Jacob was constantly thinking about how cool it was that he and Bella had ridden motorcycles together. Did this kid honestly not realize how much of a klutz Bella was, and she could kill herself just trying to get on one of those things? Every day since then I prayed to whatever god would listen that Bella would return to her home safe, and unharmed. So far they were answering my prayers. Jacob felt bad about leaving Bella alone apparently he had found her wandering around on the beach on several occasions after coming back from trying to track down Victoria. I already knew this. There really wasn't anything new going on in his mind today...so I decided to go for a swim. This wasn't the first time I had gone to watch Bella walking along the beach. I just couldn't help myself, I missed her so much. It was the only thing that kept me going, seeing her only for a few seconds helped me. It helped me not to curl up in a ball and go insane. Just seeing her beautiful face for the tiniest moment was the closest thing to heaven that I would ever know.
Suddenly, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that something was going to happen. And not something good. I searched the land for Bella and was surprised to find her taking a different route along the sandy beach. All I could think was 'Bella, please don't do something stupid'. I skimmed over the land one more time, and I froze. She had made it to the top of a cliff. 'Bella' was all I could think. 'Don't do this' I didn't know what the hell she was doing, but it didn't look good. All I could think to do now was beg…Please, please, please. But then she did it, 'NO BELLA'. I saw her flying through the air, plummeting to the rocky waters below, and I heard her screaming. She landed with a splash, and I didn't see her come up.
I swam as fast as I possibly could. I had been careful not to go onto the reservation because I didn't want to cause any trouble, but those things just seemed so trivial to me now. I kept replaying what I had seen in my head over and over again, torturing myself. Her scream was still ringing in my ears as I made my mad dash to the bottom of the cliff. All I could think was 'keep swimming!' and for her to keep fighting. 'Damn it, Bella keep fighting.' Why did she jump? What could have possibly possessed her to do that? This was the thought that tore at my insides. Could I have caused that?
I reached the bottom of the cliff, and I couldn't see her anywhere. Was I too late? I started searching frantically in the water, looking at all of the unforgiving rocks that could have ended her precious life, when I finally saw her. She was fighting the currents, but I could see her giving up. NO BELLA DON'T GIVE UP was all I could think. There was a look of calm and contentment on her face as her hair swirled around her. Without even thinking twice I grabbed her, not bothering to think about how much force I was using. I dragged her to the surface and laid her down on the soft beach.
I was starting to go into hysterics. I started pounding on her back, trying to get the wretched water out of her. I didn't know what I would do if I lost her.
"Breathe, Bella, please!"
Then, all of the sudden she was rubbing at her eyes, the first movement she had made besides coughing up water as I pounded on her back. Then she started going limp in my arms, but I swear before she closed her eyes, I heard her whisper "Edward".
A/N: Hang in there guys...The good stuff is coming up!!:) Review PLEASE!!