I think I'll do four consecutive updates. Since I'm in the mood to write.
Chapter 2
Hatake Kakashi
Dear Naruto fanfiction writers,
I found Naruto complaining to me a while ago about some place where Jiraiya pointed him to. As usual, I was too absorbed in reading my Icha Icha book that I only caught the words 'stories', 'perverted', and 'Ero-sennin'. Naturally, I thought that Jiraiya left Naruto a map that would lead him to a place where he could find Jiraiya's works, finished and unfinished. I was always so disappointed that the Icha Icha series would come to an end because of Jiraiya's death. I mean, who would continue his legacy?! I'm not a writer or anything and even though I wanted to, I don't think I'm that of an open pervert. I was categorized as a closet pervert by the expert himself.
So, I had to find out for myself. I had to perform a genjutsu on Naruto to make him reveal the location of this place. To my surprise, it was in a 'computer', a technological device that I only found in the Communications department of Konoha and the Interrogation Unit. Of course, I couldn't use one without the express permission of Tsunade-sama and I don't think she would agree to let me use a 'computer' just so that I can find the last of Jiraiya's work. But I managed to get a hold of one. Although, I was briefly halted on my way there because I had to help a child bring down her cat which was stuck up a tree. Please don't ask me how I infiltrated the Communications department. I might have to kill you.
And there it was, right before me – a paradise of action, romance, humor, and so many more that clutched my heart the same way it did whenever I read the Icha Icha series! What surprised me is that it's written by many authors whose nations of origin I don't even know about! Where is U.K.? Where is U.S.? Are these hidden villages too? If they are, I might have to report this to Tsunade-sama because I have never heard of such places before and if they have remained a secret for such a long time, then we have to get to the bottom of this.
Once I got over my initial surprise and curiosity, I found out that the stories actually used us as characters! Imagine my surprise! It was only typical that I find ones about me (with much difficulty, of course! What are 'filters'?!). There were 19,400 stories about me. It's a great honor! I never knew that I was this popular even with places that I know absolutely nothing about.
I was browsing through the stories and I found some endearing ones about me and my team. I love Team 7, by the way. And I'm quite surprised by the intel you have on me. How did you know that I fight and train with my students while holding an Icha Icha book?! What sort of espionage technique are you using? If for some reason you have acquired the Sharingan or the Byakugan, then you have to answer to the Hokage. (Although I don't think I can reveal to her how I found out about these things because she'd kill me if she found out I snuck into the Communications division just to use a 'computer'.)
And what's up with this Kakashi, O.C. What's an O.C.? When I attempted reading one of the stories, it's about some woman that I don't even know of! Does she exist in real life? If so, I don't really have time to find her. I mean, I could have any woman if I wanted to because Guy always says that I'm popular with girls (but I don't know why and how he said that). I'm just too busy reading about fantasy romance and lust stories that I can't find a decent love life of my own.
And then I found more disturbing stories. Ones about me and Sakura. I nearly blew my cover when I found out that someone has been writing lewd scenes with me and my precious student in it! I'm (about) 30 years old! And she's what, 16? Sure, Sakura's pretty but I'm more interested in women my age. And if Tsunade-sama finds out about this, she'll think that your stories are true (since you did get the fact that I read books always right) and she'll think that I raped her student or something. I'm not like that! Yare, yare. Your intelligence in that field is wrong. I do have a strict moral code even though it can be doubted because of my frequent tardiness and tendency to read sensual books.
And what's up with this fascination about how I look under my mask? It's nothing special, really. I just like wearing a mask. And it's not because I have bad breath or buck-teeth. I just… well, someone once told me that it adds to the mystery of my personality. So, there. That's what I would use as a reason.
As much as I find everything entertaining, I'd have to investigate further on you guys. Even though you often say that 'Naruto isn't mine', (whatever the hell that means), you seem to have a lot of Intel about Naruto (why do you call all of us 'Naruto'? Do we belong in some show or whatever that's called after my student? If yes, then how did that happen?)
- Hatake Kakashi
Take note that this is not all. I can make a Hatake Kakashi part II or something. He's investigating, remember? XD Wait til he finds all the yaoi stories about him. He'll die!
Cheers!