Bread of life

Chapter II
'Fit panis hominum'

"Huh? Are you sure you're a witch?" asks Kyouko, raising a brow.

She's leaning forwards, elbows on the table, her head supported by one hand whilst the other pinches a sugar cookie between the thumb and forefinger. It's bad manners to eat with your elbows on the table... but Kyouko doesn't really care. It's worse manners to have your boobs spilling out over the top of your super low-cut dress, too- and if the so-called 'Golden Witch Beatrice' can dress like a Victorian era prostitute then Kyouko can eat with her elbows on the table.

"Of course I'm a witch," says Beatrice, her voice prideful. "Would you like me to prove it? I could turn you into a fly and feed you to a spider, or turn your internal organs into cake~ Doesn't that sound like fun? Gyahaha!~"

Kyouko's lips quirk upwards in a smirk, as she stuffs another cookie into her mouth. Her lips are flaked with crumbs, but she doesn't care.

Kyouko likes people like this. The loud, arrogant types are always the most fun to toy around with... And Kyouko was getting tired of fighting weak witches, anyway. At least this witch appears to possess a little more cunning.

"Ha. Cute. Real cute," says Kyouko. "You're not a very intimidating witch, though, evil laugh aside."

The silver-haired woman besides Beatrice giggles softly at this comment. She has a nice laugh. It's light and airy, and makes Kyouko think of lemon meringue, somehow- only it's not as bitter. Kyouko relates most things to food.

"Shut up, teacher," says Beatrice, giving the silver-haired woman a pointed glare.

"I apologize... Please forgive me. It's just entertaining to see you get taken down a peg or two." The silver-haired woman bows her head. She's still smiling, her eyes half-lidded. It appears as though that smile is frozen on her face- but it suits her.

Not like Kyuubey.

It's never-changing stock cat-smile always gave Kyouko the creeps; mainly because she learnt, after a while, just what was lurking underneath it.

Nothing.

Kyouko shudders and takes another sugar cookie.

She was killed, wasn't she?

Sayaka killed her- or the witch inside Sayaka, at any rate. But Kyuubey pushed her into it. Kyouko's sure that stupid magical fox-dog thing (ahh, why use such 'endearing' terms? 'Monster' will do just fine) was mainpulating her; first withholding information about her her soul (i.e. it kind of sort of got disengaged from her body), and then giving her vague hints that she might be able to save Sayaka.

Of course, that was nonsense- as Kyouko soon learnt. The moment she encountered that mechanical mermaid with its ghostly choir, it became blatantly obvious Sayaka was beyond saving. She wasn't even human anymore- just a train wreck of negative emotion compressed together and given form.

A horrifying form.

Had that monster lurked inside Sayaka's heart the whole time? Had it crept up on her, unawares, when she felt depressed? Had its blade-like fingers skewered her heart in a moment of confusion and pain and misery and refused to let go?

Did all people- not just Puella Magi- have something like that inside them?

Probably.

Kyouko's father did, and she loved him with all her heart.

Being a magical girl merely gave that dark side a physical form; but if everybody owned one, did that not mean the world was inherently rotten?

…Aha, well, that subject matter was a little dark. Kyouko would rather focus her hatred into a fine point on one creature rather than the whole of humanity.

Who was to blame here?

The answer was obvious.

Kyuubey.

Kyuubey had known Sayaka was beyond saving- but that monster had still given Kyouko false hope.

He'd given her just enough hope to keep going; pushed her into playing a role Kyouko had never wanted to take. Kyuubey had twisted her arm- turned her into a big fucking hero, even though 'heroic' Puella Magi were always the ones who charged in blindly and got cut down first. Kyouko knew this, but Kyuubey's cryptic words left her just enough leeway to hope...

And then that hope had been crushed in front of her face.

Kyouko was dead and it was all Kyuubey's fault.

Damn damn damn-

Kyouko bites down on the sugar cookies with vigor, crunching them like thunder between her teeth. She notes, with a dull sense of surprise, that no matter how much she eats the pile of cookies never seems to go down.

Magic.

It must be magic.

Well, she should be dead anyway. Is this also 'magic'? Another part of the Puella Magi deal Kyuubey oh-so-conveniently 'neglected' to tell her? Is she going to spend the rest of her life sat at this table with this blonde-haired 'witch' eating cookies?

Sure.

Why not.

Why the fuck not.

It wouldn't surprise Kyouko.

Nothing would surprise her anymore.

Kyouko speaks through a mouthful of food, "I'm dead, aren't I."

Beatrice nods.

The news should shock Kyouko more.

It doesn't.

"Where am I, then?" asks Kyouko, drumming her fingertips against the table. "Is this some part of being a Puella Magi that hideous little rodent forgot to tell me?"

"Little rodent?"

"Kyuubey. You know Kyuubey, right? He's reaalll popular where I came from."

"I don't know the details of your universe. It doesn't concern me," says Beatrice. She sounds like a petulant child who couldn't be bothered to read anything for a book assignment- 'I don't care about it, it's boring!' Despite her slightly overwhelming appearance, cruel smile and womanly figure, Beatrice seems to be rather childish.

A Puella Magi is a girl doomed to be a witch. They'll never grow up.

...Huh.

Puella Magi or not, it looks like Beatrice the 'Golden Witch' (Kyouko is unable to think of that ridiculously pompous title without sniggering to herself) never grew up, either.

Kyouko's fingertips tap against the tabletop with more urgency. She hates sitting down- she needs to move; to burn off all the calories in those sugar cookies, to get off her ass and hunt down Kyuubey, where's Madoka? what about Homura?, or maybe she just needs to run through some witches with her spear.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Whaddaya mean, 'universe'?" asks Kyouko, narrowing her eyes. "Are you gonna go all sci-fi shit on me now?"

"What coarse language for a lady!" says Beatrice, shaking her head. "Deplorable, just deplorable."

"Hey, look, Goldilocks-"

"Beatrice the Golden Witch. You may call me Beatrice."

"...Whatever. Point is, you seem to be the one who called me here! I'd kinda like an explanation, if it's all the same to you, your Majesty."

Kyouko slams a palm against the table to punctuate her final point of sarcasm. The plate of cookies tremble from the force of her movement. Kyouko's filled with too much energy- she needs to do something. She needs to prove to herself she's not dead. She doesn't feel dead. If she is in a 'separate universe', is it too late to Homura? What about Madoka? Walpurgis Night?

Is it... all over?

Then why is she still here?

"Please calm down," says the mild-mannered, silver-haired witch. "I apologize for Beato's behavior. She's not the most sympathetic of people. Hehe~" She giggles. It's demure and ladylike, incredibly soothing. "Even her own furniture call her thick-headed."

"Hey!" Beatrice pouts, her lower lip sticking out like a ducks' bill. "Maria likes me."

"Perhaps that's because she can sense how childish you are~ You two are very similar."

"T-teacher!" Kyouko is equal parts amused and intrigued to find Beatrice's face flushing light pink. "D-don't talk about me like that in front of that... that..." Beatrice pulls a face. "That little brat!"

"'That little brat' has a name, you know," says Kyouko, folding her arms. "It's Sakura Kyouko. And she would very much like to know what the fuck is going on."

"Certainly," says the silver-haired woman, smiling. "It would perhaps be best if I told you... Beato is a sweet girl, really, but she can be a little bit... Well, you know what I mean."

Kyouko sniggers. She likes this woman- and she especially likes her insane hat. That is one nifty testament to awesome perched on her silver hair; a wide brim with frothy white lace, the top part studded with roses.

"My name is Virgilia," says Hat-Head in her pleasant voice. "I am a witch much like Beato here- but we are not the same witches from your universe. We have never been a part of your universe, and our magic operates under different laws. To put it simply... We were never Puella Magi like you. We were... Hmn~ It's quite complex, but I think it would suffice to say we were born with our powers."

"Born?" asks Kyouko. She scowls. "What a fuckin' cop-out. I had sacrifice my soul for a shitty outfit and a super-powered spear- but you get that all for free?"

"Whaaat?~" asks Beatrice, smirking. "Jealous?~"

"Damn right I'm jealous. You don't know how easy you've got it! Man- this pisses me off!"

And, with a swift, angry motion, Kyouko reaches forwards and snags one, two, three cookies in her hands, and (somehow) manages to fit them all in her mouth. She likes the crunch they make when she bites down; just like breaking bones. If she imagines they're Kyuubey the experience of eating is ten times more enjoyable than usual.

"The world we inhabit doesn't have a name," Virgilia continues. Her voice is musical; the kind of voice that could sing a baby to sleep. "It exists between numerous connected worlds and is inhabited by other witches and various demons. Occasionally we invite an odd human or two here."

"Like me?" asks Kyouko, through a mouthful of cookie-mush (yum, Kyuubey guts. Om nom nom).

"You're a special case," says Virgilia. "You're... not really a human anymore. It's... difficult to explain- but the witches in our world get bored quite a lot. That's we have so many tea parties! But some witches search for enjoyment beyond drinking tea and eating cakes. These witches developed a sort of 'game' to play with each other to pass the time."

"Hopscotch?"

"The idea has honestly never occurred to me," says Virgilia, still smiling.

"Yeah... I guess it would be a liiittle difficult with your impractical dresses and all. But it doesn't hurt to ask."

"Pssh. The dress has nothing to do with it. Teacher's just way to ooolddd to do anything other than sit and drink tea," says Beatrice, smirking to herself like a naughty schoolgirl. "Her knees'd give out on her!"

"I could still defeat you in a fair fight," says Virgilia.

Beatrice sticks out her tongue. "I don't play fair."

"As I'm well aware. But, yes..." Virgilia turns back to Kyouko, adjusting her hat slightly. "The nature of the witches' games are... Well. Some of them are quite cruel. Have you heard of the game chess?"

"Of course. I'm not a total idiot."

"Well, the game we witches like to play above all else resembles chess... Only the pieces are people."

"People?" Kyouko raises a brow. "Doesn't that sound a liiiitle bit twisted?"

"Sometimes it is," says Virgilia gravely. "Witches search for interesting universes that exist beyond our realm. There are hundreds of them- thousands. And they treat them all as potential chessboards, and the people as pieces. When the witches find an interesting universe they like, they use it as a stage for their games and begin to set up pieces."

"Huh... So you're saying... there are lots of worlds with intelligent life out there... You witches have access to all of them... And when you see worlds you like, you take them over and fuck them up to high heaven?" asks Kyouko, tilting her head to one side. "Is that the general gist of it?"

Virgilia nods.

"A few witches in our universe found your world incredibly interesting, Miss Sakura... Or would you prefer Kyouko?"

"Kyouko's cool."

"Well, Miss Kyouko... I'm sorry to tell you this..." Virgilia pauses, adjusts her hat again. Kyouko wonders whether that hat's only there to give Virgilia's hands something to do when she's agitated. Even her slight smile has gone, leaving behind a real kind of empathy that reminds Kyouko strongly of Madoka. An older, more mature Madoka. "These witches begin to fiddle with the mechanics of your world from afar, in an attempt to create an interesting story. Miss Lambdadelta challenged Miss Bernkastel- a fearsome witch- to try and create a happy ending from a world filled with despair. Miss Bernkastel's piece was called Akemi Homura."

Kyouko sits there, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide.

Homura?

Homura was a 'piece' in a witches' game? Did that mean Kyouko, too, had been a 'piece'? What about Madoka? What about Sayaka? Even... Kyuubey?

That gave Kyouko a sick sense of satisfaction. The great, oh-so-powerful Kyuubey had- unwittingly- controlled by another being. A more powerful being. That was... That was kind of hilarious. And Kyuubey thought he knew everything?

Well, he was dead wrong.

Dead fucking wrong.

Kyouko could have argued with Virgilia- but she doesn't see the point. Her whole world was filled with implausibilities; one after the other after the other, until trying to rationalize them would have been incredibly irrational indeed.

Kyouko didn't want to think about it too much. It'd only give her a headache.

"Huh. I always knew there was something weird Akemi Homura," says Kyouko. "Guess that's one mystery solved."

"Ahh... You're taking this remarkably well," says Virgilia, smiling.

Kyouko shrugs. "S'kinda what happens when your world gets turned upside-down by a magical talking fox. You fight some witches with your magical skills, learn you've become a zombie... Then you get killed trying to be a hero and you end up in a magical rose garden discussing the nature of the universe with two witches. Naah." Kyouko grins. "I can deal. This isn't even bordering on disturbing yet."

"You're no fun," says Beatrice sourly. "I like it better when they scream."

"Yeah, well, you're a sadistic bitch," spits back Kyouko.

"Is that any way to speak to your elders? You should be thanking me on bended knee that you're even alive at all!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You want to know what happens to pieces when they're not needed anymore?" asks Beatrice, smirking- coiling a strand of blonde hair round and round her finger. "Wellll~ They get thrown by the wayside, don't they? They're discarded and forgotten about until the next game starts up again."

"S-so when I was drifting..."

"You were a captured piece waiting until Lambdadelta felt like picking you up, dusting you off, and starting all over again," says Beatrice, smirking. There's a cruel, childish kind of pleasure about what she says. Beatrice knows she holds all the answers. Kyouko wants those answers- and Kyouko gets the feeling if Virgilia wasn't there, Beatrice would engage Kyouko in a cruel and sadistic game before she divulged the full truth.

"So, if I've been 'captured' before that means..."

"You've died a bunch of times already in different scenarios," says Beatrice, grinning. "It sucks, huh?~ Then again, most pieces don't realize they arepieces until somebody pulls them off the game board~ They have no knowledge about the prior games they might have taken part in~ Fufufu~"

...Okay.

This is bordering on disturbing now.

Kyouko feels a shiver run up her spine. How many times has she been killed? Does that mean Sayaka has been killed in multiple other gruesome ways as well? What about Madoka? What about Homura?

...No.

The thought of Akemi Homura's dead, empty eyes make Kyouko reconsider.

Homura knew something. She said she'd seen countless Puella Magi die- but she wasn't that much older than Kyouko, and Kyouko had only seen it happen once or twice. Kyouko hadn't even known about the soul gems. Homura had. If Kyuubey hadn't told her, where had she learnt?

"The 'piece' version of you still exists, though," says Virgilia. "Witches can bring fallen pawns into this universe fairly easily with magic, but that creates complications; especially if that fallen pawn might be needed in another game. Miss Lambdadelta and Miss Bernkastel have not yet finished with your universe, and your character is still needed."

Kyouko's face blanches. "More soul-splitting?"

"Something along those lines... To simplify, there are now two Sakura Kyoukos. There is you; the Sakura Kyouko sat at this table eating cookies. There is also the chess piece Sakura Kyouko, who has recently been brought back to the game board of Mitakihara by Lady Lambdadelta, the game master. The chess piece Sakura Kyouko does not possess the knowledge you do, and she is not aware she is being controlled."

"Then, if I go back to Mitakihara and tell her-"

Virgilia shakes her head sadly. There is a somber air about her as she says, "that is not possible."

Kyouko's eyes narrow. "Why not?"

"People who have been introduced into this universe can no longer affect the actions of those in their original worlds. If you tried to return to Mitakihara, the moment your feet touched the sidewalk time would freeze. Everything would turn grey. The world would be put on hold until you left," explains Virgilia, her voice soft. "I apologize- but that's just the way of things. Because you have knowledge you can no longer help. You can only watch."

Kyouko's eyes widen.

It...

It doesn't seem fair. Kyouko was given such a sudden influx of information it hurts her head- but with that information she could return to Mitakihara and stop the cycle of misery occurring! She could reach Sayaka before she traded her soul away on a 'selfless' wish that would never be repaid! Kyouko could tell them all about the soul gems, try to hunt down Kyuubey- and, if it was too late for her and Homura, at least try and last until Walpurgis Night so they could save the city.

Kyouko always hated 'heroes'... but she knows, as these ideas run behind her eyes like electricity, she's a lot more like Sayaka than she would like to think. Despite her jaded view of the world and bitter cynicism, Kyouko still hopes she can save everyone. Kyouko still hopes.

That was why Kyuubey was able to manipulate her so easily.

But, conversely... that was also why Kyouko didn't give in after her father's death. Kyouko never quailed even in the face of the darkest danger because the little light in her heart never went out.

She never stopped hoping.

...Kyouko hopes she's never become a witch in any of the scenarios she might have lived (and died) through. That would just be fucking embarrassing. She'd have no right to chide Sayaka for being such a dummy if that was the case.

Maybe Virgilia knows.

Better yet, maybe she could seek out 'Bernkastel' and 'Lambdadelta' and ask them; maybe knock a few heads together.

But first, Kyouko wants to return to her own world.

She wants to see her friends again.

She wants to help them- she needs to help them!

But she can't.

Because she knows how to help them, she can no longer see them again. Madoka, Sayaka, Homura... They all belong in a different universe that has been closed off to her current 'self'.

She's alone.

But...

That's okay.

Kyouko has been alone before.

She's used to it by now.

And…

And that's fine.

She never wanted to be a hero anyway. Heroes are stupid people like Miki Sayaka that charge in, sword in hand, and trip up under the weight of their righteousness so it chokes them. Being brave makes people stupid.

It's much easier to be alone.

At least, that's what Kyouko tries to tell herself.

Kyouko picks up another cookie and takes a defiant bite, crunching it between her canines.

It doesn't taste as sweet anymore.

a/n: The moment I saw the time-looping thing in Puella I thought 'oh, this is /so/ Higurashi' XD And then Umineko featured the whole 'witches like trollin' each other by recycling time over and over when they play meta chess', and I just thought 'hmn, maybe Homura could be like a piece controlled by Bern who's trying to find a happy ending amongst the misery, as Rika was.' But Homura doesn't /know/ she's being controlled; she can still retain information of her different time loops because she's the one in the game who has the time traveling skills. Kind of like w/ Higurashi. This never became an issue in Umineko because it was meant to be a 'murder mystery' and none of the key characters had magical powers or help from Oyashiro-sama, so they didn't need to actively know time was resetting over and over.
I hope this all makes sense thus far :D
More information coming next chapter... Yaaay XD;
You now know /how/ Kyouko managed to get to the metaworld, but the /why/ will be revealed next chapter :D

~renahhchen xoxoxo