Author's Note: This chapter has spoilers from Trigun Maximum: mostly from volume 1.

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun [Maximum], or Vash, or any of the other characters in that manga or anime. They all belong to Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

.

.

Unknown

Year 110, month 11 day 22

.

One of my worst fears has become a reality. It is a nightmare that does not leave upon waking.

There must have been some manner of confrontation between the two, again. Nothing else could explain the phenomenon that occurred last month.

The last time they faced each other, a city was decimated and very few survived. This time, the top of Juneora rock was sheared off, and there is a huge crater in the fifth moon.

Worst of all, Vash has gone missing.

It has been 5 years since my father died. I've been living with my uncle, and helping out around the hospital on and off for something to do when I'm not working with the engineers and mechanics on some intricate technical matter. I still visit the message center regularly, hoping for news and running the occasional errand.

I've also found myself attending some of the council meetings with my uncle. I begin to suspect that he is training me, in his quiet way, to take his place when he grows so old that he must retire. I have no objection to that. If that happens, I will do my best to fill his place as he would have done.

It gives me something useful to do, a place where I can pour my feelings for Vash. Instead of showing my love to him, I can show my love for him by helping to take care of those he loves most... everyone in my home village.

Since I'd been staying close to my uncle, and had shown myself restless in recent weeks, it did not surprise him, much, when I wandered into the room where he was standing lost in thought. I'd found him in one of the hospital's laboratories. He was staring at the sample freezer there, with a thoughtful frown on his face.

We have all been terribly worried since the new, huge crater appeared in the fifth moon last month. I've cried myself to sleep every night, worrying and praying for him. I drive myself hard when I'm awake, trying to keep myself too busy to think or feel.

So I understood the concerned expression on my uncle's face. What I didn't understand, at first, was the reason why he was staring so thoughtfully toward the sample freezer.

I walked over to him, got on my knees (Uncle is very short), and I hugged him from behind.

He leaned back against me, accepting my hug. Then he sighed, and resumed staring at the sample freezer.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was trying to decide what we should do with his samples, if Vash doesn't come back," he said. "It would be such a tragedy if nothing of him were to remain, yet I wonder if he'd want us to... I just don't know." My uncle shook his head, sadly. "I pray he's alive, and well, and just temporarily unable or unwilling to contact us."

"I pray that, too," I said. Yet it was past the time when Vash usually sent word. No letter, no radio message, and no appearance were not good signs. If, as seemed likely, there had been a confrontation, the lack of word was even more alarming. "If there's something I can do, please tell me," I added. "You know I'd do anything for him."

"I don't know," Uncle said. He frowned more deeply in thought, still looking at the sample freezer.

Suddenly an assortment of dots connected in my mind. All manner of samples were kept in that freezer. Tissue samples, blood, preserved organs... and human seed.

I grabbed my uncle's arm. "His samples, you said," I gasped, barely above a whisper. "Does that mean... do we have some of his seed?"

Uncle's eyes flicked toward me, and, for a moment, he was perfectly still. Then, very slowly, he nodded his head.

My grip on his arm tightened as my heart skipped a beat. I wasn't surprised that Uncle had not mentioned this sooner. As long as Vash was known to be alive and well, there would be no ethical reason to consider what I now hoped.

"Please," I whispered. "I'm old enough. I know that, even if he returns, nothing can change between us. But in case he doesn't... something from him should survive. Please."

"It would need to be discussed with the council," he said slowly.

"Even if his child's lifespan is more like his than ours," I said softly, "it's normal for a child to outlive their parent. It won't cause his child any extra grief to live longer than I do. Please, let me do this. I know that I will love any child of his, with my whole heart."

"There are more questions than that, dear heart," he said gently. "Not only whether to attempt it, but also what to do if Vash returns. He may not be pleased to learn he has a child that was made without his involvement or consent."

"If he is hiding to elude pursuit, his child could become a target," I whispered, "if his enemies knew that he had one. Wouldn't it be best if nobody knows, outside of the council, except for the few needed to make it happen?"

"This is a close-knit village," Uncle said speculatively. "It wouldn't be easy to conceal such an unusual child." He looked at me in a way that suggested he had several ideas about how to proceed, but he wanted to know if I was using my intelligence wisely enough to invent some workable solutions myself.

I thought about it, and then shared my ideas. "If the council approves, I should go away to one of our outposts," I said. "That way, nobody will see anything unusual about the pregnancy, or the child's first year. Hopefully, by then, we will know something of what is happening in Vash's life. When we have more information, we can do a better job of deciding what else to do."

"And if Vash returns?" Uncle prompted.

"Perhaps he shouldn't be told, at least not immediately," I said softly. "Didn't he say that Knives can sense his emotions, when they're strong, from any distance? He would naturally feel very strongly about his own child. It might be safest for both Vash and his child if he remains unaware, at least until Knives is defeated."

"I see that you are trying to think, and not just feel," Uncle said approvingly. "You are young, and healthy, and as likely a candidate as any other. The council already knows you, and likes you reasonably well. I will speak with them, though I expect you already understand why you cannot attend those sessions."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Don't thank me yet," he said amiably. "We don't yet know their decision. Even if they approve, this will be very difficult for you."

"I know," I said softly. "However, in some ways, it will also make my life easier. I've not yet learned how to love him any less, Uncle. I can't marry anyone else, while still loving him this much. If I am permitted to bear and raise this child, at least that would allow me to express some of the love to his child that I cannot share directly with him. I promise: I won't resent him, if he never learns that he's become a father. Nor will I ever speak ill of him to his child."

I felt heat in my face. It was difficult for me to speak of these feelings, which ran so deep inside of me, so openly. I had been learning to bury them, so that Vash would never detect them. I would leave them buried, deep within myself, for the rest of my life... if necessary.

Now I had a new hope, though it was both slim and faint, that I might have an opportunity to openly love someone who came from him. I was convinced that his child, whether son or daughter, would have to be nearly as wonderful as he is. I found myself impatient to meet this new person, and see what he or she would be like.

"Stay away from the freezer," Uncle said as he turned and began walking toward the door.

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "I will," I promised.

"Thanks," he called over his shoulder as he left the room.

.

Year 110 month 12 day 28

The council approved making the attempt, and the general outline of the plan I had suggested to my uncle.

.

Year 111 month 2 day 16

It took four tries, two weeks apart, before a pregnancy test turned up positive. I was glad, partly because it was extremely uncomfortable to have that syringe's long needle go deep into my abdomen. I was also glad because it had worked - until it did, none of us had known if it could.

.

Year 111 month 2 day 23

A week later, Uncle had Brad take me to an outpost where an older woman was already stationed. Brad only knew that I had been assigned to go there, and that he was chosen to escort me partly because of his size and training as one of our city defenders. The likelihood was that if anyone had an impulse to cause trouble, they would be less inclined to tangle with someone who looked as large and capable as Brad.

He spent most of the trip grumbling about being away from Jessica, poor fellow. I knew how he felt. I also cared deeply for someone who did not understand how much I loved him. Brad was luckier than I, though. The one he loved could be told, and there was a possibility that she might one day return his love.

Jessica just needed to get over her infatuation with Vash. She wanted Vash to stay with her, without realizing that Vash couldn't stay anywhere as long as Knives remained both free and genocidal. She could be sweet at times, but she also ran impatient. I knew she would grow weary of being alone, and when that happened Brad would have his chance.

I tried to tell him that, as gently as I could. He sounded skeptical. I suppose his current level of attachment to her prevented him from seeing how shallow and fickle she is, when she fails to get what she wants. Hopefully, after she turns her attention to him, Jessica will remain loyal. She'd really have no reason not to be, since Brad would be staying with her from that hour onward.

I just hope Brad won't be too disappointed, when he learns that the girl he loves has less depth as a person than he does.

We arrived safely at the outpost, and I bid him farewell. The most difficult part was ahead of me.

.

Year 111 month 4 day 18

Yvonne, the older woman already at that outpost, proved to be a kind and patient soul. Uncle had chosen well. She seemed surprised when she learned I was expecting. She had been a mother, and was now a grandmother. She seemed pleased to help me through my first pregnancy. It was awkward when she asked about the child's father, though.

"I'm surprised," she said, after two months had passed and my belly was beginning to distend, "that you are content to be here instead of back home with your family. I'm even more surprised that the child's father isn't visiting. Is everything ok between you two?"

I managed a smile. "We didn't want a family line to die out," I said. "With council permission, I am pregnant by way of a frozen sample taken from someone who is... gone." My voice nearly broke with the last word. I hoped and prayed that his being "gone" was only a temporary situation. But I didn't know, and that "not knowing" was hurting me both night and day.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry," she said softly.

Thankfully, she asked no further questions.

Like everyone else from our village, she was concerned about Vash's continued absence and silence. We prayed together for his health and safety, every night.

.

Year 111 month 8 day 17

Thankfully, I wasn't too badly ill as the months progressed.

Since Yvonne didn't know for how long I'd been pregnant when I arrived, she thought nothing of the rapidity with which I came to term six months later.

It seems that hybrid human-Plant children have a shorter gestation period than normal humans. I knew this child would be likely to grow very quickly during the first year, based on what Vash had told the various medical professionals at our village. The plan was to send Yvonne home a week after I gave birth, to conceal the child's rapid growth.

The doctors informed me that the process of my child's birth was completely normal. It hurt, but I had known that was likely. After several hours of labor, when my daughter was finally born, I was thoroughly exhausted.

They washed her and placed her in my arms, and I saw her for the first time. What little hair she has is blonde, like her father's. She has my dark eyes. Her face is long and narrow; there's no telling which of us is responsible for that, since it's a trait we both share.

"Lumia," I named her, as I held her and kissed her tiny face.

.

Year 112 month 8 day 20

A year later, we returned to our home village. During that year, Lumia had grown to appear like a human child of 10 or 11 years. I had to explain to her about the need to conceal her true heritage.

We are compelled to lie. It must appear as if the child I gave birth to had died, and that I chose to adopt an older child so that neither of us would hurt for lack of family. Nobody liked this deception, but none in the council, nor my uncle, nor myself could think of a better solution. Lumia could think of no better solution, either.

I love her more each day. Not only because of who her father is, but also because of who she is. I was correct in my anticipation that any child of Vash's would be remarkable. Lumia is more than I had ever dreamed. I thank God each day that I am permitted to know her. She is a treasure, and will surely become a blessing to the whole village.

If Uncle is trying to prepare me to earn a membership in the Council, then perhaps one day Vash's daughter will also become a Councilwoman. That seems even more appropriate than for me to become a member. If I find myself on the Council, I shall consider that place held only in stewardship until she is ready to take that place.

.

Year 113 month 1 day 29

Six months after Lumia and I returned to our village, the long hoped-for message came.

Vash made contact, and arranged to meet Uncle and Brad in another town. He would not come to the village at this time, because those who pursued him were extraordinarily dangerous and he wished to protect us by staying away.

I ran home to Lumia, and hugged her. "He's alive, dear heart," I told her. "One day you should be able to meet your father, as we've hoped and prayed. He's alive!"

She hugged me, and we both laughed and cried in our delight over the news.