TITLE: What about us?

AUTHOR: Too_beauty.

CHARACTER: Alexander, Hephaestion (implied)

RATING: PG

CATEGORY: Alternative Universe.

DISCLAMER: I do not know the people involved; they belong to History and to themselves but I would not mind sharing my life with Phai! *sighs*

WARNING: Angst and more angst. It was supposed to be a fix-it songfic but my muse decided anhother thing ...

NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.

Author's note: The words in bold belong to the lyrics "What about us" sung by the wonderful voice of John Barrowman (My Captain Jack).

This is a sequel to "I know him so well", both belong to the series "You- Me- Us".

Everyone had seen the signs of the break-up, except the two parts involved; they were so immersed in their problems that their "time together" had become their time to exchange reproaches, past mistakes and present failures. Long and lost were the times when both lovers shared kisses, hugs and tender moments ...

Alexander knew that something was bothering Hephaestion but the General had been too closed-lipped these last days to reveal what it was. However, the king had an idea; the last time that something similar happened it was caused by Alexander himself, when he took Hephaestion for granted.

It took the king almost to die to recover his lover and now he had done it again. Hephaestion was disappearing once more because he felt he "was not enough".

Wise Ptolemy had warned him about this imminent peril but Alexander had not taken his warning seriously. So here was the King of the known world – a week after the chaos started – speaking his heart out in a similar balcony to the one his distressed former lover had pronounced those fatal words.

How did the King know? LadyLight had listened to his friend's last words and had run the whole palace, looking for Alexander to tell him about it.

"Guess we've been talking too long and for the first time we couldn't make ends meet, we know what we need separately and that is so wrong. You say the honeymoon's over I know this can be true but we can still try. I don't wanna push you and go on asking but what about us? Is still there an us? Because I do want to have a second chance.

Alexander sat on the love seat in the balcony and letting his two-coloured eyes wander beyond the palace gates, he murmured painfully:all you said that night but it's not what you say, It's what you haven't said what worries me because I could clearly read it in your eyes."

- "It's ringing in my head

Bagoas entered the chamber carrying a tray with some wine and food but Alexander sent him away, without looking at him once. The Persian boy knew immediately who his King was suffering for and it saddened him because both lovers were so much in pain.

As he was closing the heavy wood door, he listened to his King's lament:

" So What about us? We are meant to be together since the beginning, what about love? Isn't it anymore in your heart for me?. What about saying that we'll never give up? After all that we had to tolerate to be together!
Don't wanna blame ya, I would never do that but we're in danger and I feel afraid of losing you; so what about us? Is still there an us to save? "

Alexander felt so restless that he stood up and started to pace along the balcony; some of his companions saw their friend walking and even though they wanted to help him, well, them, they didn't know how.

The royal steps were accompanied by sadder words:

" Guess we've been trying too hard for so long to be together that now that we got it, we could lose it; we misunderstood what's good for us because we are always on the move, in fact I asm the one pushing you always further. I'm tired emotionally inside and I don't know what to feel anymore. Night after night, we fight till we cry and then one of us leave the other alone, hurting in the dark.I can't see it anymore. Is every word you say what's really on your mind? Because if that is the truth, I don't want to listen to it."

I don't know what's wrong or right,

With these last words, the young King hit the marble wall, making his knuckles bleed. Feeeling the tiny red drops run down his fingers, he opened his heart and poured it out:

" When we love,we lie because we don't feel free to voice it out anymore; when we talk,we hide things so we don't hurt the other more. Maybe I'm searching blind trying to find a way out of this mess that hurts us so much. I'm worn out, confused and that unables me to think right. So I have to ask you what are we to you? Are we just Alexander and Hephaestion separately? What are we doin'? What are we doin'? please tell me we are not definitely falling apart..."

Alexander finally headed to his writing desk, sat on the chair and taking a new scroll, he wrote his deepest sorrow:

- " So what about us? My soul mate, my better half; what about love? I love you just as the first day; that's the one thing we never discuss because we took our love for granted and it is not anymore!
Don't wanna blame ya but you have been so quiet since my marriage to Roaxane and you should know that that means nothing to me; but we're in danger and I am terrified; I don't want to live a day apart from you again.
What about us? MyPhai, we promised each other many things ...

Let's talk about us and solve this situation that is breaking my heart and tearing us apart.

When he finished writing, Alexander stood up, washed his face, changed his blood-stained chiton and walked out of his chamber, decided to take their future tight between his hands.