Restrained by a Near Stroke
Chapter 2
Kara relaxed contentedly in her lounge chair, sipping her ice cold Mr. Pibb and bopping her head to the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack while an obviously irritated Jason had plugged cotton in his ears to drown out the noisy 70s music when Slade barged in
"Danvers! We need to talk about this silly restraining order! Can't you see how this is affecting my reputation? I've even been booted out of the Secret Society because of this! Well, to be fair, the Secret Society weren't that very kosher to begin with, they were all pretty much assholes" Slade remarked before several well-dressed men blocked the humiliated mercenary's view of his obsessed target
"per paragraph XVIII of this restraining order, you are no longer allowed to fraternize, talk, or brutally assault our client. Likewise, the next paragraph says you may not come within 1,500 feet of Ms. Danvers or her family at ALL TIMES. Any disobedience of this rule will result in being revoked of your supervillain status, your weapons and armor being returned to Mr. Sionis and you will serve serious hard-core jail time" the head lawyer spoke in a posh British accent while his cohorts marked the 1,500 yard line with a white piece of chalk
"pardon me boys, but, um… does this chalk wash off? Cause, well, the missus asked me to clean today and, uh… you do NOT want my wife to be angry with you guys, or ANYONE in particular" Roman added
"yes sir. This is disappearing-reappearing chalk" the second attorney exclaimed
"wait a second… did you rip that off of Roger Rabbit?" Robin asked suspiciously, the lawyers' faces turning white as snow as they dashed out of the house in an instant
"…well, THAT was a quick visit" Slade said casually, just as Kara glared at him with a look that said if he doesn't leave in five seconds, Kara will smack him way off into next Wednesday
*guess what happens*
"Look! Up in the sky" a passerby shouted
"is it a bird?" one idiotic townsperson asked
"is it a house that's being flown by balloons, a nerdy boy scout and a curmudgeonly old man who looks like Ed Asner?" Ambush Bug chimed
"NO YOU IDIOTS, it's DEATHSTROKE" Slade yelled at the top of his lungs, landing in the Metropolis Thorn Garden
"…is there a shaving cream for that?" Jimmy asked his boyfriend Winn.
"uh…I'm not sure. Ooh-hoo-hoo! There goes that guy from How I met Your Mother. Come on, I wanna touch him again" Winn giggled in a flamboyant lisp, him and Jimmy skipping hand in hand, with everyone watching in disgust
"HEY! QUIT DOIN THAT, YOU CRAZY FROOT LOOPS! YOURE SCARIN DA KIDS" Bibbo hollered, shaking his fist while a few mortified and very innocent schoolchildren looked at the… creepy couple
…
"Booster, why are we here? Didn't I say we were supposed to go to Gorilla Grodd's lab and not this tavern?" John asked in annoyance while Booster daydreamed at a slender woman's lemons. Booster sighed in utter bliss, unaware that the item of his affection didn't have a care nor any sympathy for the brainless drooling imbecile staring at her like she was the last woman on Earth
*Remember that episode from Gotham Girls where all the men vanished and only all the women remained? Yeah. That could've been a BRILLIANT series. But NOOOO, you had to make it a one-shot. COME OOONNNN DC, GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR TRUNKS, WILL YA? Sheesh*
"hey you" the bartender barked, John looking at her
"um, I do have a name. but, uh, what can I do you for?" John said, the woman's light face now showing a reddish look of outrage and offense
"…that came out wrong didn't it?" John meekly said. Seconds before he could finish, the bouncer had grabbed both men by their shirt collars, then with a mighty throw that could have been used in this year's Rio Olympics, tossed them out of the bar and sent em careening into a pile of trash cans
"AND STAY OUT" the bouncer hollered, growling deeply as he slammed the door
"Ooga booga" John mocked, scratching his armpits before leaving, dragging a blubbering Booster behind him