Chapter 2

I get off the bus in Ann Arbor Michigan. Seems like a good place to start over. The city will be flooded with new University of Michigan students and I can easily pass for a college student. The plan is to slip on to the campus and maybe hide out in the library or bathrooms until i can find a place to sleep. I don't want to go through my cash too quickly, I'll need to find work too.

For someone who has always told that they were stupid, I feel pretty proud of myself for planning this out. The new semester starts this week, so no one will think it strange that a teenager is on her own in a new town. I walk to the main campus and pretend I belong. It's interesting to see all the different type of people in the same boat... starting a new journey, a lot like me. Everywhere i look there are kids a little older than me with their parents. Parents?! Loving parents that are happily seeing their kids off to join the world on their own. If I ever have kids I will love them like these parents love their kids. I don't want them to be like me. I want them to be smart and beautiful and loved.

I spot a girl with long blonde hair tied in a pony tail. She looks as young as me but that must just be because she is so petite. An older woman, I assume her mother, is engulfing her in a seemingly endless hug. "You sure you'll be ok here Sarah? Home is only half an hour away. I wish you would stay home with us at least your first year." I overhear the mother.

"Mom, I told you to stop worrying so much. I will miss you and Dad but I have to do this. It's part of growing up, right? Besides I'll coming home every weekend. I still need my mom's amazing cooking and to my laundry cleaned." They both start laughing and hug again.

Maybe that's how all mother daughter relationships are, mine certainly wasn't. As I'm watching the loving exchange, I decide that this Sarah might be a good friend for me to make. If she goes home every weekend that means there will be an empty bed every weekend too.

Sarah is waving goodbye to her mother and heading my way. Time to cry just enough to get her attention. Yes! She notices me and approaches me. "Are you ok? No one should be crying on the first day of college... that's reserved for the first exams." She says in a warm comforting way as she hands me a handkerchief. I look up at her with a slightly questionably look.

"A lady always carries a handkerchief. My mom grew up in Atlanta and had a very proper southern upbringing. A real Scarlett O'Hara type. Well more Melanie Wilkes actually. I just always loved Scarlett more don't you. I mean come on she was a woman in the 1860s and she went out and did things her way, the world be damned." What is she going on about? I have no idea who these people she's talking about are. She completely lost me and it must be all over my face because she answers me unspoken question. "Sorry, I'm majoring in Literature. Gone with the Wind is by far my favorite book. I've read it at least 20 times, I could talk about it for hours."

"Oh a book! I don't read many books for fun so I didn't get your reference. Thanks for the handkerchief." I give her a shy smile and wipe my eyes.

"It's ok. Not many people read for fun. I'm Sarah Jane, by the way." She gives me the warmest smile I've ever seen. Makes me slightly feel guilty that I'm going to use her for a place to sleep. "Can I ask why you're cry?"

Here it goes. I hope this works. "They lost my application for student housing. I have no where to stay." I let out a little sob and cover my eyes with my hand. "But at least all my stuff that I had shipped didn't make it here, so I guess I don't have to worry about a place to store all of it."

Sarah suddenly embraces me in a big hug and starts to rub my back. "It's ok. Everything will work out. What's your name honey?"

Honey? Is this girl really this sweet and caring. This has to be the first real hug I've ever gotten in my life. I think I might actually like this Sarah. I pull out of her hug and smile at her. "I'm Ella. Ella Fl..Flanigan." Better change my last name now. I never want to use or see the name Fletcher ever again.

"Well Ella Flanigan. You are going to stay with me in my dorm room. It might be cramped but it's a place to stay." Jackpot! But I already feel rotten for lying to her. "I think we are the same size, so you can share my clothes until the rest of your things come in. I'm just super excited not to be the only dainty lady here." She takes my arm in hers and starts to walk us to her dorm. "Two beautiful Scarletts with 18 inch waists. This could be trouble!" She turns her face to wink at me.

A week goes by and I manage pretty well. Classes haven't really started so Sarah is around a lot. She tells me about her family and friends and of course her favorite book Gone with the Wind. Which I now know is a novel and not a book. "Books are just sentences put together. A novel is a perfect work of art. You won't call the Mona Lisa a 'picture' so don't call a novel a 'book'". Who knew there was a difference.

I had to increase my lying to Sarah even though it started to hurt more and more to do so. I choose a biology major, since I figured there would be less of a chance for us have classes together, even though I'm not taking any classes. I later learned that the buildings that hold the bio labs and lit classes were on opposite sides of the campus. Which was perfect for me. I could go hide out or look for a job and never fear running into Sarah.

I told Sarah about my mother. Well I told her about the mother that dreamed I had. I was truthful when I told her about my mother's past as a beauty queen in Ohio. "So that's why you are so gorgeous." She said to me. I blushed about I think she was being nice. I know I'm not pretty like my mother is. Like it or not we were becoming friends.

During that first weekend after Sarah's classes started, as she promised her mom she went home. She tried to convince me to go with her, but i told her I had to try to sort out my housing issue and find a job. That wasn't a lie. I really did start to look at apartments. When I realized I would need more than the $400 I had left for a security deposit, I had to find a job. I lied about my age and got a job as a waitress at a local bar. It's a pretty seedy bar and they pay under the table which is perfect for me. It's not much money but the owner said, "A sweet young thing like you will get lots of tips if you know how to work it."

After my first weekend waiting on drunks all night, I knew this wasn't for me but I needed he money. The drunks reminded me so much of George. It just made me sick to think these men went home and beat their kids just like I was. I knew I had to keep my mouth shut and head down with men like that. That was one lesson George taught me the proved useful. None of my customers were heavy tippers. I wasn't taking home much but I wasn't spending any of it until I had enough for my crappy apartment.

It's been about a month now and I have just enough to get a place of my own and off Sarah's floor. When I told her I was moving out she almost cried. She said I could stay there forever but I knew I couldn't keep lying to her. She has insisted that she come with me to get settled.

The place is a studio and has one of those beds that fold into the wall. "Ella, honey, you can not stay here. It is no place for a lady." Sarah says as she looks into the bathroom which should be completely soaked in bleach to get through the several layers of grime.

"Sarah, its ok. A little elbow grease and this place will be great." I give her the biggest smile I can muster. I know this place is a dump but its all I can afford right now.

"There is no way these curtains will ever be a gown, honey."

"Is that another Scarlett quote? One day I'll have to read that boo... booautiful novel" Sarah glared at me with a look but we both ended up laughing at my quick word play. How am I ever going to leave this friend behind when the time comes. Its going to hurt like hell.