Chapter 2: Alien versus Heather

Early the next morning, the campers got up and went for breakfast at the craft services tent. Chef served up bacon and scrambled eggs, which may or may not have come from chickens. DJ was first in line, smiling. "More eggs and bacon for me, Chef. Keep 'em comin'." Chef growled at him and he walked away. Duncan got his next. "Forgot how hungry I was last season, eating on Chris's wrecked schedule." "I know", Gwen said, "it got to the point where I'd kill for Chef's disgusting food. No offense, Chef." "None taken", he said. Gwen stepped forward to get her eggs and he dropped them on the ground. "You can have my burnt toast, big mouth", Duncan said. "Really? Judging by that gut, I thought you'd be all over the extra carbs." Duncan chuckled. "Haha, nice." Trent walked up, smiling. "You can have my toast, Gwen." She smirked. "Thanks, but I can't take enemy toast." "Enemies? We're not enemies..." "In this game, we're all enemies", Duncan told him. "Except for me and Gwen. I'll always have her back", Trent said. "No matter what." Gwen smiled. "Right back at ya, babe." Duncan rolled his eyes. "I'll remind you two of that when the money's being divvied up."

Izzy got some pancakes and began coating them in ketchup. "That is so wrong", Lindsay said. Izzy giggled. "In battle we put ketchup on everything. Covers the taste of mortar." Lindsay looked at her hand, then showed it to Eva. "My new nail polish is mortar. Isn't it hot?" "Uh, sure. It's nice and... gray." They got their food, and Owen came up to get his. Chef put a tray on the counter, and Owen came up groaning. "No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this... ugh... nice bowl of prunes." Everyone else gasped and stared at him.

Confession Cam: Owen

"My, uh, plumbing has been clogged ever since I ate all those fake food props. Pressure buildup's killin' me! Come on, colon, don't fail me now!" He farted and smiled. "Oh, I hear bowels!"

Chris walked in during breakfast, wearing a scarf and a beret and carrying a backpack. "Welcome to day two of Total Drama Action!", he said. "Are you gonna do that every time?", Duncan asked. "Yes. Yes I will." Duncan shrugged. "Today's movie genre: aliens! Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?" "You got three basic moves. Aliens wanna take over the world and start making lots of baby aliens. People fight back. Then the military's called." Chef tossed some food at Owen and glared at Chris. "Yo, Chris. Where's my paycheck at?" "It's in the mail!", he replied. Then, he pulled a map out of his backpack. "Today's challenge: find an alien egg and return to home base before mama alien finds you. The first two to arrive get to pick teams this season."

Duncan smirked. "Sorry, losers, but no one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure, the better." Gwen cleared her throat and said "I'm gonna blend up those no-good aliens and have 'em for breakfast!" "Dude, Alien Chunks is my favorite alien movie of all time!" Gwen smiled. "Me too! I've seen it twenty seven times!" "Fifty three." Gwen smirked. "You'll be tough to beat. But, I have my lucky charm."

Confession Cam: Gwen

"I love the scene in Alien Chunks where they turn the aliens into fruity blended drinks. I even have the necklace. It's a good luck charm, too bad I forgot to bring it last season. Maybe I could've won if I had it."

"I like that movie where the aliens take over the government. Take me to your leader!", Trent said. Duncan laughed. "Oh, dude, you are so going down." "It was a good movie! Right? Gwen?" Gwen looked away. "Um, okay, this is kinda awkward." DJ raised his hand and yelled "Yo, Chris! You got some laser shooting monster mama alien?" "Not quite", He said. Then, Chef walked out of the kitchen in a damp green alien costume. "You call that slime? Makeup, more slime over here!", Chris yelled. Someone poured a bucket of green goop on Chef's head. "I hate my life", said Chef. Then, Chris pulled some gadgets out of his backpack and threw them to the teens. "Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot. Find the alien eggs, but be careful, cause today you're all on Chef's menu!" Chef laughed.

After finishing their food, the campers walked to a spaceship set and went in. Izzy ran off, looking around at the walls. "Hey, follow me!", she yelled. "I know aliens. Uh-huh, I've been abducted loads of times. There's a tracking device in my neck, see?" Harold looked at it. "Does it hurt?" "Only when I hiccup." Behind them, Leshawna stopped by a door and shivered. "Can you feel that? It's like there's somethin' in there, cold as ice! With no soul..." From his control booth, Chris turned on a steam vent to blast her. Harold shrieked and jumped into her arms.

Confession Cam: Leshawna

"I've already told that skinny little tadpole that things between us aren't meant to be! Guess he can't get over the lusciousness that is Leshawna."

Confession Cam: Harold

"I'm pretty sure Leshawna secretly likes me. I see the way she looks at me, like she's unpantsing me with her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes... like chocolate almonds..."

The teens kept walking along the corridor with Heather bringing up the rear. "How come we're the only dots on the screen?", she asked. "Where's Chef? Where are the eggs?" Cody shrugged. "Probably to keep us on our toes. Good thing I'm a pro at running from guys who are bigger and tougher than me." Meanwhile, in another corridor, Gwen, Trent, Bridgette and Duncan heard some weird sucking sounds. She turned around and shushed the others. They stood still for a minute. "What is that?", Trent asked. "Must be Chef", Duncan answered. "You guys wanna run, or do you wanna kick some alien butt?" "Let's kick some alien butt!", Gwen yelled. "Ahem?", Trent said. "Oh. Trent, any thoughts?" "Yeah, let's... kick some alien butt!" The teens charged forward and turned a corner, running into Geoff and Izzy making out, with the others behind them. Duncan laughed. "Oh, it's just you guys!" Bridgette sighed. "Come on, you're in the middle of a challenge. Stop locking lips, this is not the right time for it!" "Enough messing around, we've got alien eggs to capture", said Gwen.

Confession Cam: Gwen

"I wasn't worried about Chef, alien costume or not. I mean, I did place second last season. I know exactly what I'm doing."

Gwen pulled out her GPS and checked it. "Good thing we're all lined up in a row..." "Yeah", Trent said, "ready for Chef to pick us off one at a time." "We've really gotta work on our strategizing." Suddenly, a siren went off. DANGER, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER. "Let's get out of here!", Heather yelled. "Which way do we go?", Cody asked. "North is nice, and east is least, so west is best!", Lindsay said. "Can't argue with that logic", Cody said. "Let's go!" They ran off with Leshawna and Eva behind them. "The map says the boiler room is east of here", Gwen said. "Alien eggs are always in the boiler room." "Uh, yeah, totally! East it is", Trent said. They ran off along with Duncan and DJ. Geoff and Izzy went to follow them, but Duncan turned around and asked "Where do you think you're going?" "With you, to the boiler room." Duncan crossed his arms. "Sorry, but you lovebirds are on your own." Izzy shrugged. "Alright then. E-Scope the alien hunter's gonna win this challenge anyway." They ran off up a ramp, and the remaining campers went a fourth way.

"Everyone, snap out of it", Heather said. "If we don't band together, we are gonna lose this challenge. Now who's with me?" "It's hard to say", Owen said. "Does being with you imply some sort of alliance?" "Of course it does! My alliance helped me win last season, remember?" "That's the problem", Bridgette said. "We don't want you to win again. We want US to win. You're on your own." "Okay, okay, forget being with me. Who's willing to walk beside me, in mutual pursuit of our goals with no commitment of any kind?" "I can agree to that." "Count me in", Harold said. Then, Chef dropped down from the ceiling. "Did anyone else here that?"

Confession Cam: Harold

"I may not be the best looking guy, or the best dressed, or the most buff, but I get my butt kicked a lot, so my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something is coming. Nothing gets by me."

Chef tapped Harold's shoulder. "Say hello to eternity", he said. He shot Harold, knocking him to the floor, and Owen ran up to Chef. "It's time... take me out! I beg you! It's an emergency!" Chef shot him, and he ran off to the bathroom. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

Heather and Bridgette were left alone, with Chef laughing and walking toward them. Heather glared at him. "Okay! I put up with your nasty food for eight weeks, and I'm willing to put up with it for a few more! But I am not gonna let you stand between me and my victory!" She charged at Chef and started punching him, then tried to yank his gun away. He shot her shirt. "Hey, watch it! These clothes are expensive!" She kicked him between the legs. "You'd better hope that stain comes out!" Chef fell over, groaning in pain, and Heather and Bridgette ran off. Next, Chef ran into Geoff and Izzy making out. "Oh, this is too easy." "Oh, there you are!", Izzy said. She jumped over Geoff, landed on Chef's head, jumped off again and ran away. "Good luck, Geoffie!"

Meanwhile, Gwen's group found the boiler room. They opened the door, peeked in and saw a tank full of eggs. Elsewhere, Lindsay's group reached a dead end. "Um, how did we get here?", she asked. "If we knew, we wouldn't be lost", Eva said. "Let me take charge, I'll find the stupid eggs." Then, a door closed behind them. "I hate to be the big bad bearer of alien news", Leshawna said, "but I think this may be a trap." Lindsay hugged Cody, and gunk started raining from the ceiling. The teens screamed in horror and groaned with disgust. "Eww, grody!"

Back in the boiler room, Trent picked up one of the eggs. "Wow, they look so real." "Woohoo! We won, yeah!", DJ yelled. "Not so fast, big guy. We still need to get the eggs back to home base", said Duncan. The others got their eggs and then a door opened. Chef walked in, grinning. DJ tried to run, but tripped and crushed his egg. He yelled "Save yourselves!" The others ran off and Chef chased after them out into a cowboy movie set. Chris flew over them in a helicopter. "Hello, civilians! The military is here to protect you now! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs." "But we're supposed to take the alien eggs, that's what you said!", Trent yelled. "Zip it, I'm playing a role here!" Chris hit a button on his control pad and dropped some bombs. The teens and Chef ran for cover and the bombs blew up, coating the area with green goop. Chris laughed. "Whew, glad I don't have to clean that up!"

Duncan walked up to Gwen and Trent, covered in gunk. "Does this mean I'm out?" "Too bad, so sad. More money for me", Gwen said. "Ooh, down for the count!", Duncan said. Gwen laughed. Trent raised an eyebrow and tapped Gwen's shoulder. "Come on, let's get moving." Gwen looked down. "Oh no! Our alien eggs! Where'd they go?" Duncan spotted one. "I'm on it!" "No, I'm on it!" Trent ran to get the egg, and Gwen touched her throat. "My necklace! It's gone!" Trent stopped and looked for it. He saw it falling into a drain, dove for it and snatched it up.

Confession Cam: Gwen

"I know this is gonna sound really girly, but I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg. Most guys would've gone for the win."

"Personally, I would've picked the win", Duncan said. Trent walked up to Gwen and handed her the necklace. "Sorry about losing the egg", he said. "It's okay. Thanks for saving my necklace... I want you to have it. For luck." She put it around his neck. He smiled. "It suits you." Then, Chris jumped out of his copter and parachuted down. "You three gave a valiant effort", he said. "But, you're still losers!" He pointed at them and laughed, but Trent spotted a pair of eggs. "Not so fast, Chris", he said. He ran and brought them over. "Looks like my good luck charm is workin' already." He handed one to Gwen. "Meet you at home base, babe." They ran off, and Chris walked up to Chef. "Can't you do anything right?" Chef glared at him. "Where's my money? Hmm? Give me my money!" Chris ran away and Chef ran after him, demanding his paycheck.

Back at camp, everyone was hanging out by the trailers when Trent and Gwen arrived with their eggs. "We have our two winners!", Chris said. "Our only two winners! As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means they'll be competing against each other this season." Trent's jaw dropped. "Aww, dude, no!" Chris laughed. "Bet you didn't see that one coming! After we vote off a cast member in the first thrilling gilded Chris ceremony of the season, you will be on opposite teams, starting tomorrow."

That evening, the cast members went to the big stadium for the ceremony. Chris walked up to the podium. "It's time to cast your votes", he said. "Under your seats, you'll find your voting devices. Just press the button next to the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking, or your vote doesn't count." The cast members took a few seconds to make their decision. "Okay, the votes have been cast." Chef walked up sulking and in a dress, carrying a tray of tiny statues. The teens laughed. "If you get a gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now. And the gilded Chrises go to... Trent, Gwen, Harold, Duncan, and Izzy..." "E-Scope!" "Fine, E-Scope. Lindsay, Cody and Eva are also safe. So is Owen. Next is DJ, Heather, Bridgette and... Geoff." Leshawna stood up. "What? For real? You guys voted me off?" "I didn't, Leshawna!", Harold said. "I love you!" She rolled her eyes, grumbled and walked off to the lame-ousine. "Well, see y'all later, then. Good luck, Gwen!" Gwen waved. Then, Chris ran up to the camera. "Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their teams? Will Izzy ever answer to her actual name again? Will this be the toughest season ever? Guess we'll all find out tomorrow!"