It's a little late for I love you, Dean.
Dean stood stiffly, stumbling into a few people as he made his way out into the cold night air, the bite making him shiver. He fumbled for his keys and unlocked the door to his Baby... His Impala. He slipped behind the wheel, shutting out the cold and resting his head against the steering wheel in front of him, fighting back tears that burned his eyes and threatened to spill over.
"Damn it." He breathed, voice rougher than usual. It'd been almost a year ago since that one goodbye... Why was it so hard for him to get over it now? It didn't make any sense to him that it was harder than the death of his own dad. Maybe it was the fact it felt like a piece of him was missing every second of every single day... Or the fact that every time he prayed to Castiel, there was no response, and he prayed more than once every single day hoping for a different outcome. Was Cas dead?
"Please don't be dead." He whispered, allowing tears to flow freely down his cheeks. He slammed his hands against the steering wheel and let out a choked sob. "FUCK!" He screamed, laying across the front seat and curling up into a tight ball, just crying... Most nights ended in such a way, if not all of them. It was pitiful that Dean Winchester spent the better part of every day drowning in alcohol to soothe the ache of a lost friend.
I love you, Cas... Please.
That was when he heard a familiar shuffle of feathers, the move of upholstery under slacks... And that voice.
"Dean... It is a little late for 'I love you'," Castiel murmured from the back seat. Dean shot upright, his heart now beating faster and harder than he thought was humanly possible without having a heart attack.
"C-Cas!" He cried out, fighting the urge not to launch himself at the angel. Castiel tilted his head some to look at Dean, one side of his face visible in the dim moon light at that angle. He looked a lot better than Dean did, that was for sure. He still had that same face and those stunning blue eyes. He hadn't changed in the slightest unlike Dean with his slightly sunken cheeks, deep, almost purple bags under his eyes, and severe drinking problem. His hopes didn't stay elevated for very long. Castiel didn't speak, he just stared at Dean. His heart sank and he swallowed thickly.
"Cas, I'm so sorry..." He whispered, voice rough with the threat of another sob rising in his throat. "I should have said something to you before I said goodbye... I should have said something but I chickened out because I don't say that. You know I don't..."
"You just seem desperate for some form of attention Dean... Ever since Sam died, you've had no one... I can tell that because I've been watching you. I told you to take care of yourself, and instead you destroy your body? This isn't what I wanted for you..."
"What did you want then?" He sniffled.
"I wanted you to be happy and forget about me... Didn't Sam tell you to go to Lisa? He wanted you to be out of this life, to live one that is more normal than angels and demons,"
"I don't want to be normal, Cas, I want to be with you," he pleaded.
"No, you don't want to be with me..."
"Yes, I do...!"
"Prove it," Castiel said finally, eyes narrowed.
Dean stiffened some again, looking at him wide eyed. The way the moon lit Castiel's face made his pants a bit tight in the front, the blush on his cheeks receding so blood could rush elsewhere. He swallowed thickly, looking at him with a slightly darkened expression. He wanted to ask how, but he knew exactly what Castiel meant...
The first time he and Dean had intercourse, Dean was hammered that he could barely walk straight. Castiel had tricked himself into believing that it was a one time thing and Dean didn't really mean it at all, just like he didn't believe that Dean meant what he said now... He just couldn't get his hopes up like that again, the thought of that scared him so much he almost wanted to vomit.
"Before you ask that question, get back here and find out." He whispered, his voice much lower and sultry than before and it got Dean completely riled up. He pushed down the urge to climb into the back seat and turned over the engine before he drove them to a bit more secluded back road. After that he tossed the keys into the glove box and slipped out of the car to where Castiel waited. He was pretty damn eager to make up for lost time with his angel. His angel. His hands were shaking at the thought of how hot and fogged the Impala's windows would be if Cas was serious about him proving that he loved him.