A/N: Holy shit, I was not expecting this to get such a response. Now I know I'm going to disappoint everyone, awesome. But oh well, that's what I'm here for. Many thanks to all of you who have reviewed, subscribed, and followed, I appreciate that shit, for real. Anyhoo, hope y'all like gobs and gobs of dialogue, slow-ass pacing, and a terribly infrequent update schedule! Seriously though, when I say "Nasty M-Rated shit ain't happening for a long while.", I mean it ain't happening for a loooooong while, so I hope that's not all you're here for. Also, I'm probably drunk, if you couldn't tell by my disjointed train of thought. And now that I've chased away everyone who was previously reading this, it's time for me to shut up. Enjoy!
"Are you sure you've got everything you need, sweetie?"
I tried to hide my exasperation as I nodded yes to answer mom's question for probably the fifth time.
"Yes ma, I have everything. All of my socks and unmentionables are accounted for, don't worry."
I shook my head and groaned as mom continued to fuss and fret regardless. My family surrounded me as Fifi and I stood outside our house, waiting for Uncle Bob to show up at any minute, everyone taking turns saying their goodbyes to me before I left.
"Well bro, just remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do, ya hear?" Flint said, grinning in that stupid, vacuous way he was so good at.
"The whole point of me going there is to learn though, Flint." I said dryly, letting him grumble for a moment before I smirked back to let him know I was just shitting with him. "But hey, make sure you keep me updated on your league challenge, alright? The Teddies sure ain't gonna do anything this year, so I need something to get excited about."
Flint's grin returned, all the more smug. "Oh, no worries on that, little bro. Everyone is going to know when I get to the Pokémon League Championships, trust me. And I'll be totally loaded by that point, so I'll spring for airplane tickets for you and the missus."
"Gee, thanks." I said, rolling my eyes and turning to Jade. "Well, looks like you have the house all to yourself now, Jade. All I ask is that you lock my door before you throw any wild, drunken house parties."
"Oh, mine too." Flint added. "I would just die if anyone were to touch my toenail collection. Oh, and my autographed Stad Mauto guitar. But mainly the toenails. Those things ain't replaceable, after all."
"Pfft, don't worry." Jade said, scoffing and shaking her head. "The last thing I'd want my friends to see is how big of doofuses my brothers are, you couldn't pay me to let them into either of your rooms." Mom quickly cleared her throat as she and dad began to give Jade the hairy eyeball. "I-I mean, in theory, of course. I would never throw any parties or have anyone over at all without your guys' permission. I mean, what do you take me for, Flint or Stone?"
Mom let out a disgruntled sigh, shaking her head at our japery. "When it comes to mischief, not one of you is any better than the other two. But don't worry, sweetie. You won't have time to get into any trouble anyway, we have a full itinerary planned out for you here, so that you won't feel left out while your brothers are away."
"…Oh… That's… Great news, mom. Thanks." Jade replied woodenly, her smile anything but genuine. I couldn't blame her lack of enthusiasm, since mom and dad's idea of a good time was… Well, it was great when we were little kids. Now that we were teenagers, not so much. I gave her a look of sympathy as she turned back to me. "Well, at least you'll probably have a better time than I will, Stone… Try not to let him embarrass himself too much, okay, Fifi?"
"Well, that's kind of an impossible request, but I'll do my best." Fifi said, snickering.
"Really though, I hope everything goes well for you, bro." Jade added, coming over to give me a hug. "Promise you'll keep in contact more than Flint does?"
"Thanks, sis. And no worries, that won't be hard at all." I said, smirking at Flint. "I'm sure LeMasters gets better reception than the wilderness that Flint has to, ahem, 'rough' it in on a daily basis."
"Hey, you guys don't know what it's like out there on the road." Flint said defensively. "Nothin' but trees and mountains as far as the eye can see, not a powerline in sight. And besides that, what, do you guys expect me to waste my phone's precious battery life calling y'all every day?"
"Oh, please." Jade countered, rolling her eyes heavily. "You have an Ampharos, you don't have to worry about your phone ever dying. Also every Pokécenter in the world has phones you can use, that you don't, because you're lazy."
Seeing the look of annoyance on Flint's face, I quickly stepped in between my siblings before another passive aggressive family bitchfest could begin. "What Jade's trying to say is just, try to at least keep us updated so that we don't think you've been devoured by an Aggron or something similar, alright, bro?"
"Yeah, alright, I suppose when you put it that way…" Flint said begrudgingly, his voice trailing off into mumbles. I let out a sigh, relieved that my siblings weren't in more antagonistic moods. I didn't know of any other family besides my own that enjoyed arguing so much, especially over such mundane things as someone being too lazy to call home. And of course, this was the pot calling the kettle black, but I at least had realized how pointless and time wasting arguing over everything was long ago, and I seem to have somehow become the family mediator somewhere along the line in the process. I mean, it's not that anyone ever actually got angry or anything, just… Combative. I suppose my competitive gene is just highly recessive compared to theirs… But man, I sure wouldn't miss this aspect of my family life at LeMasters, that's for sure.
Before my siblings could find something else to bicker over and before my parents could embarrass me with any further talk of my undergarments, a sudden rumbling began to sound from the distance, signaling that Uncle Bob was near. Sure enough, as the rumbling grew into a fierce growl, Uncle Bob's '78 Moltres muscle car came roaring into view, its aggressively patriotic paint scheme gleaming proudly under the bright morning sun as it zoomed down the street at what would be a pants-shittingly frightening speed for those who weren't aware of the car's driver. As it were, however, we were well accustomed to Unc's driving tendencies, and merely covered our ears until he pulled up in front of us, rolling to a stop smoothly in our driveway.
"Well, if it ain't my favorite family of minerals." he said with a grin, as he got out to greet us. "How's everyone been? It feels like forever since I last saw you guys! I mean, sheesh, I'm pretty sure Stone and Jade were still in diapers the last time I was here, ahahahaha!"
"Oh, stop it, Robby, it hasn't been that long." Mom replied with a small laugh, going over to give Uncle Bob a hug. "It was only four years ago, but my, that's still too long of a time to go without seeing you. You should know the kids have missed you terribly, and so have I."
'Aw, don't guilt trip me like that, sis, you know how tough it is for me to make time to come home anymore." said Uncle Bob, running his fingers through his short, spiky blonde hair and giving mom an apologetic look that completely belied his tough appearance. "You know how strict the rules are with Gym Leaders and their responsibilities, especially over there in Japan, and that's not even taking into account my military commitments on top of that. I'm damn lucky to have been able to get this weekend off as it is, you know. I think I had to put in for time off about a half year in advance, and I'm sure they're gonna give me all kinds of grief once I get back about shirking in my duties as a leader… I mean, not as if they ever seemed to give a damn about that scumbag Giovanni disappearing to run his little 'business' whenever he so pleased, but eh, whatever. It ain't the same league as it was when I first signed up, that's for sure… But hey, I'm sure you guys don't wanna hear me whining anymore."
"Aw, don't worry about it Robby, everyone needs to vent every now and then." Mom said with an understanding smile, to which we all nodded in agreement. "What's important is that you're here."
"Yeah, you don't know how much this means to me and Fifi, Uncle Bob." I said. "I don't know how I'll ever be able to properly thank you for this."
"Aw, no need to thank me, kiddo. That's what family's for, after all!" Uncle Bob replied, shrugging and grinning. "Just do your best and make us all proud, like I know you can. To see you carry on the Surge family tradition of kickin' ass and takin' names like your brother and ma and me is all the thanks I need."
Mom let out a small groan at Uncle Bob's choice of words, but knew better than to ask him to clean it up around us. Alongside the ass kickin' and name takin', probably the most prevalent (though certainly not the proudest) tradition that has been passed down on mom's side of the family is the propensity to use language that would make a sailor blush. And as hard as mom tried to contain it, she most definitely was just as guilty as the rest of us, if not more so, letting loose streams of profanity that were long enough to stretch from Unova to Orre whenever she got really mad. Safe to say, me and my siblings all learned at very early ages not to do anything to really piss mom off.
"Really though Bob, we can't thank you enough for doing this for Flint and Stone, and Jade too when she's old enough." Dad said, bowing his head slightly in gratitude, though his face carried a twinge of shame as well. "Though, hopefully we'll be able to provide it for Jade ourselves once that time comes…"
"Don't sweat it, Slate." Uncle Bob said simply. "Like I just told Stone, we're family. Family is supposed to help each other out when they're down, and that's all I'm doing. You guys don't have to worry about repaying me in any way, alright? I'm a damn Gym Leader, I have more money than I know what to do with. If I can't use it to help my loved ones out, then what the hell good is it in the first place?"
Dad, never a man who was good with words, nodded back. "…Well, thanks all the same, bud."
"Heh, man, you sure are different in person than you are in public, Unc." Flint stated with a laugh. "There were some kids from Kanto and Johto at LeMasters when I was there, and whenever the topic turned to Gym Leaders, they would shudder, talking about how mean and scary you were, and how much of a harda-, e-er, that is, how menacing you were. Shoot, the way they talked about you, you'd think you were like, eight feet tall or somethin'."
Uncle Bob let out a chuckle. "Yeah, well, you can thank the Pokémon League for that. They wanted me to play up my military background, so over there, I'm the 'Lightning American'. I mean, in truth, I kinda am a bit of a hardass, since that's how I had to be as a CO, but around you guys, I don't have to act all tough and shit, I can just be me. And it's nice to be able to flip that persona off every once in a while and be able to act like a normal person, y'know?"
Right… Because nothing says 'normal' quite like barreling down quiet city streets like a stuntman on a movie set in a twelve-hundred horsepower mobile American flag.
Yeah, Uncle Bob is pretty fucking rad.
"But heck, it's probably about time for us to get this show on the road, eh, Stoney?" Uncle Bob exclaimed, flipping his shades back down and motioning me and Fifi towards the car. "You and Fifi got everything you need, right?"
I nodded, as did Fifi beside me. "Yup, all my crap's in my bag except my computer, and Fifi's got her collapsible stool, so we're ready to roll whenever you are, Unc."
"Great!" Uncle Bob said with a boisterous laugh, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. "Go ahead and chuck that in the backseat there, and hop in!" Turning back towards the rest of the family, Uncle Bob continued, "Don't worry, I'll be back to visit with the rest of y'all longer once I get these two dropped off and settled in at LeMasters."
"Ah, R-Robbie, before you go, could Slate and I have a quick word with you?" Mom abruptly asked. I held in my groan as I got my stuff settled into the backseat next to Fifi, as I had a pretty clear idea of what it was she wanted to talk to Uncle Bob about.
"Eh? Yeah, alright. What's up?" Uncle Bob cocked his head for a moment, then shrugged as he followed my parents into the house, leaving me to amble around awkwardly with my siblings as Fifi settled into the backseat of Uncle Bob's car.
"Man, mom and dad sure have been acting twitchy today…" Flint murmured. "What the hell'd you do, Stone?"
"What? I haven't done anything!" I shot back.
"Then what's the deal with these private talks of theirs?" Jade asked. "First you, now Uncle Bob… They weren't all tweaked out like this when Flint left."
"That's only because they had spent the entire month leading up to his leaving to completely lose their shit over it." I claimed. "They knew what to expect this time, so they had time to prepare. They're probably just having last minute jitters about me being gone for half a year, that's all."
"I dunno, bro…" Flint said, unconvinced. "Wasn't their talk with you earlier something to do with your rooming sitch? They didn't seem to really give a crap about that either way when I went. Or… Does this have something to do with your girlfriend?"
I let out an exasperated groan at Flint's continued jackassery. "For fuck's sake, bro, would you please cut that girlfriend shit out already? It's crap like that that probably got mom and dad all up in arms about this garbage in the first place."
"Oho, so this does have something to do with her then!" Flint exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.
"W-Wait, no, I didn't say anything like that!" I said in a panic, glancing over at Fifi, who thankfully was still preoccupied with trying to get our belongings safely fastened down beside her in the car.
"Jeez, just give it up already, Stone." Jade said in half amusement, half pity. "Your attention just shot over to her to make sure she wasn't listening, this obviously has something to do with her."
"Yeah, so come on already, spill it, bro. What's the dealio here?" Flint said, continuing to prod in his obnoxious Flinty manner. "Man, don't tell me, you aren't still letting her sleep with you, are ya?"
"Fuck you Flint, you've slept with your precious little Flaafykins your whole damn life." I countered, shaking my head vigorously as I felt my face begin to redden.
"Dude, that's because she was like, covered in the most amazingly soft wool you could ever imagine, at least, until she evolved, that is." Flint said.
"That hasn't stopped you from sleeping with her since then." I immediately retorted.
"Only because she's so used to it by now!" said Flint defensively. "And besides, she don't talk and act like she's my damn girlfriend like yours does. So it's not anywhere near as weird."
"Hey, hey, no, that's not even…" I began, stumbling over every other word as my mind raced in an attempt to subvert Flint's claims. "…No, listen, Flint. The only reason I still let Fifi sleep in my bed with me is for the same exact reason that you just said, because she's just so used to it by now. She is not my damn girlfriend, not anymore than Flaafykins is yours. You and mom and dad all have the most laughably wrong idea imaginable. I am not 'too close' to her, any other talking Pokémon would act the same exact way she does, alright? There's nothing weird about our relationship at all, so just… Stop calling her my girlfriend and drilling it into mom and dad's heads that there is something weird going on between us. Because there isn't. Got it?"
Flint's grin slowly faded from his face as he backed away from me and my, admittedly, slightly unhinged display. "…Ooooookay then, whatever you say, bro. My bad. You know I'm just fucking around, right? I'm totes sorry if I ended up causing you any trouble with mom and dad, alright?"
"…Yeah, I know." I said after a moment, letting out a sigh. "I didn't mean to flip out on you like that, sorry. It's just… Ugh, I don't even know. Mom and dad don't want me to bring Fifi along with me for whatever reason, because they've got it in their heads that we're 'too close', and that she shouldn't be acting like a human and needs to start acting like my Pokémon. They expect her to change by the time we get back, or else… Man, I dunno. Probably nothing good."
"Yikes…" Jade exclaimed, casting me a sympathetic glance, then directing it towards Fifi, who was still having a terrible time trying to get her tail and the seatbelt to coexist. "…And I take it you haven't told her about this whole business yet?"
"Of course not." I said immediately. "And I'm not going to, either. I'm not going to make her stop acting the way she wants to, that would be just awful, not the least because knowing her, she would probably go through with it if it meant making mom and dad happy with her… I know to you guys, she's just a Pokémon, but… As pathetic as it probably makes me sound to you, she really is my best friend, and I'm not about to lose her just because mom and dad think I need 'real' friends."
"Jeez, that sucks, bro." Flint said, casting aside his usual obnoxiousness for once and speaking to me sincerely, something that almost never happened. "I know I razz you about it all the time, but I don't want yours and Fifi's relationship to get fucked up like that. Shoot, it's not like me or Jade can say our best friends aren't our Pokémon too. I mean, I know I got my bros and all, but Flaafykins is always going to be the ho that comes before the bros… Er, shit, I mean, I didn't just call my Pokémon a ho, okay? D-Don't tell her I said that, Jesus Christ…"
Jade merely shook her head in disbelief as she stared in amusement at Flint. "Uh, yeah, I think what Flint was trying to say is… You don't have to feel embarrassed to call Fifi your best friend, I think most people's true best friend is their Pokémon, like Flint with Flaafykins and me with Teddy. I'm sure mom and dad had similar relationships with their Pokémon growing up as well, they were both highly accomplished trainers in their youth, after all."
"Yeah…" I muttered. "…How bad is it that I hardly ever think of her as my Pokémon, though? I'm so used to her acting like a person, that it's really hard for me to see her as a Braixen anymore. Like, I know she's obviously not a human, either, but she's just… Fifi. It's… Hard for me to even explain."
"Don't worry, we understand." Jade said with a small laugh. "Remember, we've been around her all this time too."
"Yeah, I mean, that's kind of why I mess with you so much about her being your girlfriend." added Flint. "I get that it's just because she's your Pokémon and she's ridiculously loyal to you and all that, but if someone heard her talking to you without seeing where the voice was coming from, no way they would think she was anything but your girlfriend. And yeah, yeah, I realize Flaafykins would probably talk to me the same way if she could, so don't bother trying to turn that back around on me, I don't mean it as an insult or anything."
"I-I know…" I said in slight embarrassment. "…She doesn't mean anything by those things she says, though. I don't think she fully understands the differences between romantic love and platonic love very well, since she spent so much time watching all those awful chick flicks when she was learning how to speak English…"
"Maybe that's all you really need to do, then." Jade said thoughtfully. "Just gently explain to her that there are differences, and that she's not really conveying herself in the way she means to. I'm sure as long as you can get her to start talking to you more normally, mom and dad will be understanding about it… Assuming you're right about that in the first place…"
I blinked in confusion at Jade's muttered final sentence. "…Huh? What do you mean…?"
Jade looked away from me for a moment, casting an awkward, sideways glance at Fifi before speaking. "…Well… It's just that… She really does seem awfully smitten by you, Stone. I'm not so sure she's really that confused at all about how she expresses her feelings towards you…"
I grimaced, and quickly shook my head. "Augh, no, don't say that, Jade. Look, she just doesn't know any better, end of story. She may act like a totally normal 'person' in most regards, but there are still some aspects of human life that she doesn't fully grasp, okay? I should know, since I'm the one that's constantly having to correct her about things."
"And how many times have you 'corrected' her about the way she acts towards you, and why does she still persist on acting that way, then?"
I screwed up my face, unable to come up with a good answer for Jade's question, then shot her an accusatory look. "...Man, I thought you were on my side, sis…"
"I am, Stone, geez." Jade responded, folding her arms and sighing. "But if mom and dad really did give you such an awful ultimatum, then you really need to start thinking about these things, and figure out how you're going to deal with them before it's too late."
I let my shoulders slump as Jade's words hit me. "…I know… Look, I know, alright? I've been trying to figure things out this whole time since they dropped this on me. It's just… Really complicated. This is going to take some time to straighten out. And I'll have a whole half year, so I should be fine… Hopefully…"
Before the conversation could get any more awkward, my parents and Uncle Bob mercifully stepped back out from within the house.
"Ready to jet, bucko?" Uncle Bob asked with a grin as he made his way back over to his car.
"Yeah…" I said, much less enthusiastically than the first time.
"Hmm? Everything okay, buddy?" Uncle Bob asked, frowning at my sudden change in demeanor. I quickly shook myself out of my funk and put another smile on.
"Oh, yeah, totally." I said, with much more vigor. Glancing at my siblings, they both smiled back and gave me little nods of acknowledgement, letting me know that they wouldn't tell mom and dad about our conversation. As I took one more lap around to give everyone one last hug before I left, Jade took the time to whisper something in my ear before she let me go.
"Don't let things get out of hand, bro. I'll do my best to keep mom and dad in high spirits about you, but just make sure you know what you're doing before you say or do anything that you can't take back…"
"So, Stone, how've you been lately, buddy? Everything alright with you and Fifi?"
I glanced over at my uncle and nodded absentmindedly. Soaring down the highway with the wind in my hair and one classic 80's rock tune after the next blaring out of the Moltres' speakers, I had started to zone out, my mind flooded with nothing but troublesome thoughts.
"Oh, y-yeah, everything's fine, Unc." I stated, without much conviction.
"You sure? You've seemed kinda down ever since we left." Uncle Bob exclaimed, before letting out a chuckle and continuing, "You ain't getting homesick already, are ya?"
"No, not at all." I said, shaking my head, but not wanting to really elaborate any further.
"What's eating you, then?" Uncle Bob asked, frowning. "You were all pumped up when I first arrived, but after I got back from talking with your parents, you've been all down in the dumps. Did something happen in that time? Your brother fucking with you again?"
"No, no, nothing like that, Unc." I replied. "I'm fine, really."
"…Oh." Uncle Bob said after a moment. "I gotcha. This has to do with that crap your mom and dad were talking to me about, right?"
"Huh?" Fifi said in confusion from the backseat. "Y-You mean… They were talking to you about that? W-What in the world business is that to you, though, sir? You're not going to be one of Stone's roommates, are you…?"
"U-Uh, n-no, Fifi, I don't think they were talking to him about th-that…" I quickly interjected, laughing nervously.
"…Right. My mistake." Uncle Bob said, giving me a quick, knowing nod. "But you guys are doing okay, right?"
"Yeah, me and Fifi have been doing great, Unc." I said, doing my best to smile.
"You wouldn't believe how excited Stone's been about this, sir." Fifi added, giggling. "It's all he's talked about since he found out about it."
''Oh yeah?" Uncle Bob replied, letting out a laugh of his own. "That bored of suburban life already, eh kid?"
"Not exactly." I responded. "It's just that, I've never had this kind of an opportunity before, Unc. I mean, I've hardly had many opportunities at all, what with the whole 'living in poverty' thing that I grew up being used to, so it's just… It feels kind of surreal to have a chance to go somewhere so famous and high class. Have I told you thank you enough yet, by the way?"
"Plenty enough." Uncle Bob said amiably. "But I'm happy for you, Stone. You're a good kid, and you deserve to be able do something you can enjoy for once. I tell you, it's not like it was in the old days, when parents just sent their kids out into the wilderness on nothing but a wing and a prayer. Everything's 'too dangerous' for kids these days, you can't go out on a journey to become a Pokémon Master without getting a trainer's license first, it's totally ridiculous. Ain't no rules about that over in Japan, of course, but good lord, the rules and regulations they've been adopting in this great country of ours regarding Pokémon as of late are getting out of hand. How the hell's a kid supposed to have any fun these days if they can't make that classic rite of passage of the Pokémon Journey? Things ain't anymore dangerous than they ever were, but don't tell the fucking Pokémon League that… Augh, I'm just sorry you and Fifi weren't able to go out on your journey years ago like you should've been able to. Hopefully once you graduate from LeMasters and get your license, you can make the pilgrimage like your brother has, even if it is a few years late and a few rules stiffer."
"It's fine, Unc." I said, shaking my head. "I've always been too preoccupied by my delusional baseball dreams to really focus on becoming a trainer until just recently anyways."
"That's only because you never got a chance to have any other dreams, Stone. And hell, it's not like you ever really got a chance to bring those baseball dreams to fruition, either. I'll never understand why your dad was so fucking stubborn as to never accept my help until he absolutely had to. He's a good man, don't get me wrong, but he really fucked you guys over growing up thanks to that."
I frowned, letting out a sharp sigh. "I know… I love him to bits, but he's always hated having to accept help from someone, rather than being the one doing the helping. I don't think he ever meant to fuck us over or anything like that, he just… Didn't want to have to rely on you and feel useless or whatever. He's always been so hard on himself about everything, which, well, you can tell who that got passed down to… So, I can kinda understand why he never wanted to accept yours or anyone else's help, but I don't at all agree with it. But hey, what's passed is in the past. Chances are, if we would've been living a 'good' life, I never would have found Fifi, and I'd much rather have her by my side than be playing baseball or anything else, so I've come to accept my life for what it is. Blessed in some ways, cursed in others. Mostly cursed, but eh. I'm a Teddies fan, so I'm used to everything going wrong every step of the way. I don't really have any right to complain."
"Aw, Stone…" I could hear Fifi murmuring.
"Well, I gotta say, Stone, if nothing else, you've got a good head on your shoulders, and a good heart underneath." Uncle Bob exclaimed, despite my head shakes to the contrary. "Which is exactly why I'm so glad to be able to do this for you, kid. And not just for you, but for Fifi, too. She seems to have the same qualities as you, which only goes to prove my point about you more."
"Eh, I don't think I really did anything for Fifi besides teach her how to cuss and how to pray, and one of those was on accident and the other on request." I said, scratching my head. "She picked up on most things all on her own."
"Well, you know what they say about Pokémon resembling their Trainers, right?" Uncle Bob quipped back. "That doesn't mean in a physical sense, you know. I think Fifi's had a pretty good role model to emulate, the cussing part non-withstanding."
"That's what I've been trying to tell him for ages, but you know how much he hates anything resembling praise." Fifi said, and I could just feel her rolling her eyes at the back of my head.
"I don't hate praise, I just… Don't want to get a big head." I countered, folding my arms and craning my neck around to stick my tongue out at Fifi, which she was only too eager to return with gusto. "And besides, I just don't think I'm deserving of much of it, that's all."
"Yeesh. And I'm the one with the Modest nature?" Fifi scoffed.
"I don't think anyone would confuse me for being that, Fi. I'm just as full of myself as my brother, I just don't advertise it like he does."
"Do you see what I have to put up with every day, sir?" Fifi said to Uncle Bob in mock distress. "Are you sure you don't want to take my place as his roommate?"
Uncle Bob shook his head and smirked. "Nah, I think you two are perfect for each other. I don't think I've ever seen a bond between a Trainer and Pokémon like your guys' before, but then again, I ain't sure you should really count as a Pokémon, Fifi, haha… Nah, for real, though, from what Flint told me, you two are a pretty damn formidable duo, at least around your hometown."
"Well, I mean, it's not as if I've had much of a shortage on mentors in that regard." I said with a shrug. "Growing up in a family of trainers in a community obsessed with battling, it's probably only natural for me to have picked up on it myself, if only a little bit. Everyone knows Fifi's the one doing all the hard work anyways."
"Ooh, don't you start that crap again, Stone." Fifi said in irritation, kicking the back of my seat.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, neither of us can do it without the other." I muttered back, rolling my eyes out of her view.
"Man, stop shitting on yourself so much, Stone." Uncle Bob piped in, repeating a phrase I had heard all too often throughout my life. "Think of it like this; you're the coach, and Fifi's your superstar player. She may be the one swinging the bat, sure, but you're the one pulling the strings, coming up with just the right strategies, letting her know when to bunt and when to swing for the fences. It was the same when I was in the military. Sure, every single one of the men, women, and Pokémon under my command were bonafide heroes, ready and willing to risk their bodies and their lives for their countries and their fellow men and Pokémon. But without a commander, they would've been collectively useless; unorganized, scared shitless, and easy targets. But with the proper strategies and planning, they marched ahead with confidence and showed our enemy just what happens when you try and fuck with the free world. But on the other end of that spectrum, a commander is similarly useless without a charge to lead. And that's exactly what being a Pokémon Trainer is, just on a smaller scale, syncing with your Pokémon and overcoming your individual hurdles, to form one larger, stronger, cohesive unit. To be a good trainer, you and your Pokémon have to have respect and love for one another, and the deeper the spiritual and emotional bond, the better."
Uncle Bob shifted slightly in his seat, patting the lone Pokéball on the side of his waist gently.
"Take me and Rai, for example. When I was off in the war, I wasn't the only one who had to deal with its horrors. Rai was right there beside me the whole time, and he saved my ass more times than I can count. Every single thing that transpired, all the pain and anguish we suffered and witnessed, we were in it together. I trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his. He's the one I can count on above all others, the one that I know always has my back. And it's obvious you and Fifi have that same kind of connection. You guys rely and depend on each other for everything, and as far as I can remember, you have ever since you met. Shit, you guys literally kept each other from getting killed when you first met, for Christ's sake. And that's why I think, no, why I know your potential as a duo is limitless. That kind of a bond is something special. And it's that kind of synergy that separates the trainers from the champions. Of course, if you want to take it that far, you're probably going to have to have more than just Fifi by your side, but even alone, I don't see any reason why you guys can't go far."
"See, Stone?" Fifi said matter-of-factly once Uncle Bob had finished his rousing speech. "We're only as good as we are because we're a team. So stop saying you're worthless, because nothing could be further from the truth, especially to me. Now, you better stop acting so lame before we get to LeMasters, because all I plan on doing is telling everyone how awesome you are, and I'm going to be so mad if you make me out to look like a liar, you hear me, master?"
"Yes, master." I replied, directing Fifi's mocking tone back at her, before turning to Uncle Bob and nodding. "…But alright, I hear what you guys are saying, loud and clear. I'll try to pretend to be competent and not act like such a self-loathing dweeb at LeMasters, if only for you, my dear Fifi."
"That's more like it." Fifi said, snickering.
I stared ahead in silence for a good couple minutes, letting the music mingle with my thoughts as Uncle Bob's speech continued to process in my mind. "…Do you really think we can become champions, Uncle Bob?"
Uncle Bob nodded firmly. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it, Stone. The confidence you need to believe in that yourself will come with time. For now, the best and easiest thing for both of you to do is just to remember to relax and have fun when you battle. There's a time and place for seriousness in battle, but ninety-nine percent of the time, you're doing it just for fun. And if you and Fifi ain't having fun when you battle, then you probably shouldn't be getting into Pokémon Training in the first place."
"Huh… I never really thought about it like that…" I stated, taking a moment to mull over Uncle Bob's words. "You know, I wouldn't have expected to hear someone like you say that, Uncle Bob. I thought Gym Leaders were all about treating battles as if they were super serious and important."
"Eh, most people do, and I may be wrong in giving you this advice." Uncle Bob replied. "But you know, I've had to deal with so much shit in my time… I know what it's like to battle in an actual life or death situation. It's fucking awful, kid. It's not any fun at all, for you or your Pokémon. Once you go through something like that, civilized, sanctioned Pokémon battles feel like nothing more than a game. Which, technically, is all they really are anyways, as far as sanctioned battling goes. I know I'm supposed to treat my Gym Challenges as extremely serious affairs, and don't get me wrong, I still put all my effort into my battles, I'm still trying to win, of course. But in the end, winning and losing doesn't really matter, the only thing that can really get bruised are you and your Pokémon's egos. So I guess what I mean to say is, always try your best and give your full effort, but just remember, it's only a contest, and there's always next time. Heh, I'm sure that's something you're pretty sick of hearing by now, huh?"
"Nah, that's pretty much the Teddies' official motto anymore." I replied with a wry laugh. "But, um… Thanks, Uncle Bob. I'm so used to the ultra competitive mindset of everyone back in town, it's kind of refreshing to hear someone with a different take on battles… Especially someone as experienced as you."
"It's always been just a leisurely activity for me, Stone." Fifi chimed in. "It's good exercise, in any case. And like I said before, it helps me get stronger so I can keep you safe, so I'm only too glad to do it."
"As long as you don't hurt yourself in the process, Feefs…"
Fifi let out an overly exasperated sigh. "Stone, we've been over this a million times. I'm a Pokémon. I can take a sharpened, electrified blade to the face and come out none the worse for wear other than a few scrapes and bruises, and there's so much technology and medicine that can cure that kind of damage instantly. It's you that needs someone to look after you, especially with how hopelessly clumsy you are…"
"Hey, I can't help it that I was born with a terminal case of the 'Dropsies'…" I grumbled. "But fine, forget I ever said anything. Sorry for showing concern for your physical well being, I won't let it happen ever again."
"God, you guys bicker like an old married couple." Uncle Bob interjected, snorting out a laugh. "But that's good! That kind of genuine care and concern for one another is the key to success. Everything else should just come naturally from that. Trust me Stone, you and Fifi are going to do just fine…"
The rest of the car trip seemed to fly by, my mood having been lifted considerably by Uncle Bob's motivational efforts. Fifi seemed to be enjoying herself too, as she quickly joined in with me and Uncle Bob as we absolutely mangled every song that came out of the radio, something I was only too happy to see and hear, as it always seemed so difficult for her to open up and show the 'real' her around anyone besides me.
During the commercial breaks, Uncle Bob regaled us with all kinds of stories about his work as a Gym Leader, and the ridiculous shit he had to put up with on a daily basis from the Pokémon League and even his fellow Gym Leaders. It sure didn't make me want to follow in his footsteps, that's for sure. Though, knowing him, that was probably his intention in the first place. To tell the truth, I started to feel a little bad for him, actually, since he had made it perfectly clear that it was not the same job it was when he had first signed up for it. Not in the slightest…
Regardless of that, however, the trip was a nice bonding experience, as I had always been happy to spend time with Uncle Bob, and it was always so rare to be able to hang out with him without my siblings. Plus, with his penchant for speed, we made great time, pulling off the highway and onto the turnoff for LeMasters before the sun had even begun to set. As we turned onto the long, expansive private road that led up to the school gates, I marveled in silence the whole way. The school grounds, as well as the school itself, appeared to be even bigger than it looked on the website and brochures, which simply boggled my mind. It almost felt like I was pulling into some sort of real life Hogwarts or something…
I mean, assuming all those rampant internet rumors aren't true and there isn't actually a real life Hogwarts… But I digress.
Even though we had gotten there hella quickly, we hadn't exactly arrived early by any means, as the grounds were already swarming with students and their Pokémon as we drew close, flitting to and fro as they got out of cars and began to mingle amongst themselves in excitement and awe. Of course, as soon as Uncle Bob's car came into view and earshot, every single eye and ear around seemed to turn towards us.
"Helluva way to make an entrance, wouldn't you say?" Uncle Bob exclaimed, seeming to relish all of the sudden attention. I, on the other hand, was less than enthused to have so many eyes on me at once, and knowing Fifi, she was feeling similarly uncomfortable.
"Yeah, I'll say…" I murmured back, sinking down lower into my seat in a subconscious effort to avoid everyone's stares.
Uncle Bob, rather than show me any sympathy, let out a loud, raucous laugh, "Ahahahahaha! There ain't no need to be so self-conscious, boy! In fact, you should be getting ready to accustom yourself to this kind of attention anyways, if you plan on bringing Fifi with you anywhere."
I let out a grumble of acknowledgement. True, I was expecting a lot of unnecessary attention once Fifi and I arrived here, but I wasn't really planning on making such an entrance on top of that. That's just what I needed, was for everyone to think I was some kind of attention whore right from the get go… Thankfully, most of everyone's attention faded back to their own devices fairly quickly, so hopefully Uncle Bob hadn't made too much of a spectacle of us.
As we pulled up to the very front of the school, Uncle Bob slowed to a halt, though with his engine still purring and his radio still blasting, that really only made us stick out like even more of a sore thumb within the posh, regal school grounds.
"Well, you guys ready?"
I shook my head yes as confidently as I could as I unbuckled myself. "As I'll ever be, Unc. How 'bout you, Fifi?"
Fifi merely looked back at me and nodded timidly. She was still uncomfortable around strangers, and doubly so amongst crowds of them, so chances are I was going to have her as a leg ornament for a while. Besides for my own selfish reasons, I had also hoped that coming here and being around so many new people would be able to help Fifi overcome a bit of that timidness of hers. I wasn't expecting much, since she had a pretty valid reason for that timidity in the first place and I didn't blame her for it at all, but if I could help her even a little bit in being able to come out of that shell and to start acting more like her natural self around others, I knew she would appreciate it. Because, as loath as I was to admit it, my parents were right about one thing, at least; she really did need to learn how to survive without me being by her side 24/7. I wouldn't always be able to bring her with me everywhere, so the sooner she got used to being comfortable by herself around people besides me, the better.
Uncle Bob gave me a short salute as I got out and headed around to help Fifi unload my crap. "Alright then, you guys get your stuff and mosey on inside, I'm gonna go find a place to park, then I'll meet back up with you to get you settled in and deal with all your admission details."
"Yessir." I said, saluting him back once we had finished unloading. Once we had backed up a bit, Uncle Bob once again roared his engine, popping everyone within a ten mile radius' eardrums, then peeled off down a side path that had a parking sign pointing down it. Soon enough, Fifi and I were left standing alone, more eyes turning towards us to give us looks of annoyance and scorn for Uncle Bob's display of horsepower. Fifi wasted no time in clinging to my side like glue, grasping onto my hand with a near death grip and forcing me to shift my laptop awkwardly under my arm.
"Fi, chill out, there's no reason for you to be so anxious." I said with a small chuckle. "I'm right here, you don't have anything to worry about."
"Ah, I-I know…" Fifi stuttered, her eyes darting from one person to the next as she buried herself even further into my side. "…B-But just, until Uncle Bob gets back, at least…"
"Alright, fine." I conceded. "But you gotta start getting over this, okay? You can't be a fridge magnet the whole time we're here, y'know."
"…Y-Yes, I know…" Fifi said, whimpering faintly as she made an effort to remove herself from me, if only slightly. "I j-just… It's b-been a while since I've had to be around s-so many people…"
"There's nothing to be afraid of, though." I said reassuringly. "No one's going to try to hurt either of us, Fifi. All these people and their Pokémon? They're just like us, Fi, a bunch of kids and Pokémon with hopes and dreams of becoming something. Nothing more than that, and definitely nothing sinister. We'll both be fine, don't stress out so badly. I know, that's not really fair for me to say, since I never had to go through what you did, but like I said, I'm right here beside you, and you know I won't let anything happen to you. I mean, heck, I shouldn't really have to worry about that in the first place anymore, you're MY protector now, remember? You're not a helpless little Fennekin anymore, you're an ass kicker and a name taker, just like Uncle Bob said, and you're only gonna get stronger from here on out. So please, try not to worry so much, alright?"
Fifi looked up at me, and after a moment, finally nodded, returning my smile warmly as she pulled herself away from me almost entirely, through she still kept her hand firmly clutched in mine.
"…Okay. You're right, Stone. I need to stop letting my past haunt me so badly. Nothing like that has happened since you came into my life, so… I shouldn't worry about it. And I really don't want to embarrass you, so I have to get over this stupid, irrational fear of strangers… Sure, I can say that, but it's so hard… B-But… As long as you're here to help me, I'm sure I can do it…"
"That's right." I said. "When have I ever let you down before, Fi?"
Fifi shook her head. "Never…"
"And I never will, either." I replied, grinning. "If I tell you things will be alright, then damn it, I will make things be alright if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that you're happy and comfortable, Fifi. So whatever it takes to help you get over this, I'll be happy to help with, too. And if that means having to walk around with you as a conjoined twin for a while, then so be it. So long as you make an effort to improve, I'm fine with that."
"…S-Stone…" Fifi's face began to flush as she let out a sniffle. "…Thank you. I, um… I can't ever tell you just how much I love you… And… I'm not going to let you down, either. I'm going to get over this, and I'm going to help you become the very best, like no one ever was! I mean, you already are to me, but to the rest of the world, too, teehee…"
"Um, th-thanks, Fi…" I said, trying my best to shift the conversation back away from her goopyness as she stared up at me with that doe-eyed look, no doubt drawing strange glances from those around us. Thankfully, they all seemed to be too preoccupied in their own conversations to notice that Fifi was speaking to me, but I wasn't wanting to take any chances. "B-But hey, why don't we go look around for a bit until Uncle Bob calls? Try to get our bearings in order and all that, since we're probably going to be coming and going from this building like crazy for the next few months."
"Alrighty!" Fifi agreed, nodding happily. "Lead the way, master!"
I instinctively groaned at Fifi's choice of words. "Gah, c-come on, Fifi, don't call me that unironically, you know how much I hate that…"
"Oh, right, whoops." Fifi said, putting her hand to her mouth and giggling. "Sorry, it just slipped through. You have to admit, I'm getting way better at calling you by your name, though!"
"Yeah, and thank God for that, too." I replied.
"Geez, you're so weird sometimes, Stone." Fifi said bemusedly as we made our way towards the school's main entrance. "I can't help it that my instincts drive me to call you that. And it's really a term of endearment, you know, like how you call your family members mom and dad and bro and sis and all that. I just don't see what you find so weird about it, but whatever."
"It doesn't really come off the same way as those other words though, Feef." I replied. "Especially not with the way you talk to me."
"Of course…" Fifi muttered, her ears drooping as she shook her head in annoyance. "Heaven forbid I call my trainer by his proper title in public, people might think I'm too obedient."
"Damn it, Fifi, that's not what I meant, and you know it." I scowled back, eliciting a snigger from her. I let out a disgruntled sigh, realizing how useless continuing this conversation would be. I took solace in the fact that, if nothing else, Fifi seemed to be loosening up a little. Even if it was at my expense. "Man, just forget it, Fi. Call me whatever you want. Let's just focus on the task at hand."
Fifi nodded, letting out another giggle as we made our way up the steps of the main building. Once we had reached the entryway doors, I took a moment to look back at the courtyard, as I hadn't really had much of a chance to do so. The long, tree-lined road that we had taken to get here stretched out far into the distance, the faint outline of a small city just visible over the horizon from where I stood. As the road got closer to the school, it split off into two, a long, narrow fountain pool laying in between them, sparkling under the midday sun. At the end of the pool, a grand, ornamental fountain towered, and the road made a roundabout around it, two smaller, dirt paths shooting off on either side and winding around to the backside of the school. Most of the students and Pokémon that were milling about outside were crowded around the fountain, many of them looking as if they were itching to start battles with one another already. The main school building itself was every bit as fancy and high-class looking up close as it was in pictures, and I couldn't help but feel a bit out of place. Of course, the majority of the other students that I could see didn't seem to be all that fitting for such a place either, most of them looking just as ordinary and 'lowborn' as I was, so perhaps this place wasn't as exclusive as I first thought. Regardless, I must have started to zone out, as I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard a sudden commotion from behind me as the entryway doors burst open in a flourish.
"Holy shit, is that a MEW?!"
"Oh my God, no fucking way!"
As I whipped around to see the source of the uproar, it was clear that I wasn't the only one who had heard the incredulous cry, as me and Fifi were nearly trampled as a small horde of students and their Pokémon ran towards the clamoring as soon as they heard the word 'Mew'.
"Hey kid, where the hell'd you get that thing?!"
"Man, no way that thing is real, it's gotta be a fucking Ditto or something!"
"Come on, let's do a trade! I have this really great Rattata that I just know you'd love! Really top percentage!"
"Fuck off, a fucking Rattata? Get that bullshit outta here, I've got a shiny Bidoof with your name all over it, kid!"
I exchanged a wary glance with Fifi, as more and more people began to rush towards the suddenly massive crowd that had formed at the entryway. I decided it'd be best to move before we really did get trampled, so I quickly led her through the entrance before it became impassable.
"Looks like we won't have to worry about being the centers of attention after all…" I murmured to Fifi, as I pushed our way through the crowd to the other side, my own curiosity beginning to get the better of me at this point.
"You say that now, but…" Fifi began, quickly trailing off as she and I got our first glimpse at the cause of the pandemonium.
"Come on, kid, what are you, mute? Tell us how you caught that thing already, and tell us what it'll take to trade for it!"
"If nothing else, let's battle! I've never had the chance to battle a real life legendary before, and that thing doesn't even look that tough, so I bet I can kick your ass!"
Amongst all of the loud and obnoxious caterwauling, there stood a boy that looked to be around my age, with short, messy blue hair and glasses, though his stature left even more to be desired than my own. Perched atop his head was a small pink cat that I had never thought in a million years I would ever see in real life, its long, slender tail wrapped loosely around the boy's neck almost like a scarf, and the curious, whimsical expression displayed on its face was at complete odds with the look of abject horror that showed on the boy's face. Backed up against a wall, it appeared as if he had been well and truly trapped there against his will by the throngs of students that were clamoring to get a look at his Pokémon.
"I-I-I-I-I d-d-don't w-wanna…" he stuttered, somehow finding a way to sound even meeker than he looked as he shook his head vehemently, jostling the Mew back and forth atop it, who seemed to take it as some sort of game.
"Aw, come on, kid!" shouted the self-assured ass-kicker. "Don't be a pussy! Why the fuck did you even come here if you don't wanna battle? Don't tell me you're one of those little Ranger bitches!"
"N-N-N-No, I-I j-just don't wanna…" the kid replied, drawing a look of disgust from the other guy.
"How the hell did a loser like you get a Pokémon like that? You don't deserve to have a legendary, you pussy!"
The kid, rather than defend himself, merely continued to shake his head, shutting his eyes tightly as he tried to avoid all of the judging gazes that surrounded him.
"Hey, Mew, you don't wanna have a useless piece of shit like that for a trainer, do you?" said Asskick. "Come on, come join my team, we're strong as hell, way stronger than that loser!"
"Screw you, if anyone should have that Mew, it should be me!" came the voice of the Bidoof Boy from earlier, getting up in Mr. Asskick's face.
"Like hell!" Asskick Johnson responded, pushing Bidoof Boy away.
"Y'all BOTH need to step back and know your roles, I'M the only trainer worthy of a Mew around here!" interjected Rattata Lad, pushing his way forward towards the other two idiots to make the shoving match a three-way affair.
"You wanna fight over it, bitches?!" Asskick McGoo shouted, reaching towards his waist for a Pokéball and yanking it off his belt violently. "'Cause let me tell you now, ain't neither of you want a piece of me and my team!"
"You're all a bunch of morons, you know that?"
The three stooges all stopped their bickering instantly to turn towards the source of the last voice, as did everyone else. I, on the other hand, merely looked down at her with a look of disbelief.
"Shit, Fifi, now is not the time!" I hissed through clenched teeth, which she promptly ignored.
"Who the hell said that?" Asskick Jones ejaculated, looking around the crowd in a fury at every single girl, obviously oblivious to the fact that it was a Pokémon that had just insulted him. "I don't even care if you're a girl, your ass is fucking grass! Now fess up, bitch!"
"Fifi, I swear to God, if you say one more word…" I whispered, trying my damndest not to let anyone else hear me.
"You got something to say, faggot?" Asskick Smith sneered, coming up to me and getting right up in my face.
I really needed to learn how to whisper quieter.
I shook my head, before quickly gagging and jerking my face away from his. "G-Gah, yeah, you really need to brush your teeth, dude. Christ almighty, you smell like you've been eating a lot more ass than you've been kicking…"
I also really needed to learn to listen to my own advice.
"The fuck you just say, you little cocksucker?!" Assmunch Brown said, grabbing me by the collar before I could really react in any way, still overpowered by his noxious breath. While most everyone instinctively backed away from us, Fifi, of course, did the exact opposite.
"Let go of my trainer, you jerk!" she shouted, pushing herself between us and causing Assy to release me immediately, as he stared in dumbfounded silence back at her, along with everyone else in the crowd.
"…Did… Did you just…" he stuttered, looking from Fifi to me in shock.
"Yeah, that's right." Fifi exclaimed, all semblances of that timidness from earlier gone as she stood defiantly in front of me, her seldom used stick at the ready, pointed straight at Assy's face. "Touch my trainer again, and your breath isn't the only thing you'll have to worry about smelling rancid. And while you're at it, leave that other guy alone, too, all of you! We won't stand for any bullying!"
"…Holy shit." Assy uttered, causing the entire crowd to begin its clamoring once more.
"A talking Pokémon?! Dude, you've GOTTA trade me that thing!"
"NO, I NEED IT!"
"NO, ME!"
Fifi impulsively backed back up towards me, reclaiming my hand with her free one.
"Sh-Shut up, all of you!" she cried. "I already have a trainer, and he's NOT trading me for anything! …R-Right, Stone…?"
"Of course not." I said emphatically. "Don't even bother asking, because the answer is going to be the same as it always has been, a big fat no. I mean, Jesus Christ, do you guys even HEAR yourselves? If it was one of you with the talking Pokémon or the Mew or whatever, do you think you would ever even consider doing something so idiotic? Get real!"
"Wow, why is it always fucking losers that get the good Pokémon?" Assy exclaimed, quickly shaking his head in disgust at me and Fifi. "But eh, you two can fuck off, a talking Pokémon is one thing, but I don't think I'd want one that's so annoying anyways. This ain't even about you dweebs, though, this is about that pussy over there and how big of a little BITCH he is!"
"I-I'm not a…" the boy whimpered, seemingly too ashamed to repeat the last word.
"If you ain't a bitch, then man the fuck up and battle!" Assy shouted, Rattata Lad and Bidoof Boy clamoring in agreement behind him as they both reached for their Pokéballs as well. As the boy continued to shake his head in defiance, Assy marched up to him and looked ready to assault him in much the same way he planned to do to me, but as he reached forward to grab a piece of him, he was blocked as a translucent, pale blue bubble formed around the kid, pushing Assy back into the other two goons. The Mew, even with its playful expression, seemed to have an air of perception about it, as it had been studying Assy the entire time.
"Aw, isn't that cute!" Assy said after a moment, holding his hands at his face mockingly. "You're just like that other faggot over there, you both have to let your Pokémon fight your battles for you!"
I exchanged a dumbfounded gaze with Fifi. "…Uh, sorry to interrupt, but we're all Pokémon Trainers, aren't we? Isn't letting our Pokémon fight our battles for us, uh, you know, kinda sorta what we do?"
"You again?" Assy said in annoyance, whipping his head back around towards me. "You and that bitch of a Pokémon of yours don't know when to shut up and mind your own business, do you?"
I narrowed my gaze at the jackass, setting my computer down beside my suitcase and Fifi's stool, my own temper beginning to flare up at this point. "Okay, it's one thing for you to call me and that poor kid names like a twelve year old on DevBox Live, but I really don't appreciate you calling my Pokémon by such an awful name. Grow the fuck up and leave that dude alone already, he already told you and those other two dumbasses that he didn't want to battle or trade. Why don't you all learn how to listen and let him get on with his day?"
Rather than respond like a normal, civilized person, Assy let out a laugh more obnoxious than Flint's and flipped me the bird. "And just what the hell are you going to do to make me do that, faggot? You and your little bitch there think you can beat me and my team in a battle? I'll bet you don't even have any other Pokémon besides that cunt, do you? God, and that fucking hat, you're a Teddiursas fan? Holy fucking shit, you are the biggest fucking loser I've seen since… Well, that big fucking loser over there!"
In all my haste, I hadn't even noticed the Talonflames shirt Assy was wearing. I should've known by his limited vocabulary that there was a good reason for his awfulness, but now I knew it was just genetic.
Now, I had no qualms about returning his vitriol in stride.
"Okay, listen here, Assy, I'll make you a deal." I began, making my way over to the blue haired boy's side with Fifi beside me, before Assy had a chance to try and escalate things even further. "Me and Fifi will battle with you, and when we win, you and those other two shitstains behind you will make like a Suicune, Entei, and Raikou, and fuck off, or else I'll have Fifi set that shitty, sweat-stained, Dorito bib of yours on fire like she wanted to earlier."
"And why the fuck would I want to do that for, faggot? What do I get if I win?"
"Well…" I began, shifting my gaze to the side, not actually know what to say as my mouth had spoken without my brain's permission. "…Uh… I mean…"
"If you win, you can have me."
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head at the sound of Fifi's voice.
"Fifi, w-what the fuck?!" I sputtered, shaking my head rapidly at her.
"Ohohoho, is that so?" Assy exclaimed, suddenly in a much more cooperative mood. "Alright then, you've got yourself a deal! And I'm about to have me a talking fucking Pokémon, bwahahahahahaha!"
"Don't worry, Stone." Fifi said, giving me a look of utmost confidence. "There's no way a loudmouthed prick like this guy can beat us. He's obviously all bark and no bite."
My words got caught in my throat, as all I could manage to do was continue to shake my head madly back at her. As the crowd around us began to form a circle, Assy threw down his Pokéball, and shouted something I absolutely did not want to hear.
"Go, Garchomp!"
Fifi's look of confidence quickly drained from her face, as this was not the unevolved little shit that she had been expecting. It also was certainly not the type of Pokémon I would have ever expected someone from a shithole like Ordurave Town to have access to… Once again, I had let my big fucking mouth talk me into an absolutely Godawful situation... All in all, I was pretty sure Fifi and I both had the same exact thought going through our minds at that point.
…Ffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
A/N: Well, hopefully it won't take me quite so long to get the next chapter up, but honestly, I don't think anyone's really going to give much of a shit either way. If anyone is still reading at this point and does care for whatever reason, then yeah, I'll try to get the next chapter up quicker, my bad. I just got lots of shit to do and not much time to write is all. But yeah, have a good one, all.