Kakuzu and Hidan

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the seat in Pein's office, "what?" I barked. The little asshole, sending me on another fucking mission already.

"As you know, a month ago I sent Itachi and Kisame into another world."

"Like I give a fuck," I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms when he gave me a look of disapproval.

"Their mission had to be finished early to due to a glitch with the jutsu. It's been repaired so now it should work fine if you perform the jutsu Kakuzu," Pein continued on, completely ignoring me.

"Alright," I heard my partner say from my left, "where is our destination."

"Since I've received plenty of information on what an 'anime convention' is, you two will tell me what the night life is seeing as it would be more comfortable for the both of you."

I pumped a fist into the air, hell yeah this might actually be fun, "fuck yeah."

"I have a few ground rules however," I sunk back into the chair, annoyed, "no weapons," he looked pointedly at me, "and don't kill anyone. To be honest, I'd rather send in Kakuzu alone but it's best if two at a time go," he said while still looking straight at me.

I flipped him off and I watched as Pein handed Kakuzu a scroll, "it will work right?" Kakuzu asked, I rolled my eyes, he said it should fucking work so why the fuck are you asking if it fucking works you fucking bastard. Stop wasting fucking time I want to start this fucking mission already!

"Yes, when you enter the room, face the right wall. I also suggest you leave your cloaks here to avoid suspicion," with that we were shooed out of the room.

After we dropped our cloaks off and Kakuzu forced me into a shirt, I attempted to grab the scroll from the miser's hands but he stopped me by slapping me in the head, "ow! You fucker what was that for?"

"Don't touch the scroll. Now shut up and let's get this mission over with."

I made a face at him as we entered the designated room. Kakuzu turned to his right and I decided to let him concentrate since mission sort of piqued my interests. If it's a new world, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of hot chick's they have.

Before I knew it the wall was replaced by a black void of, well, empty nothingness, "you first!" as I said that I pushed Kakuzu in who disappeared behind the dark void. Swallowing my sanity, I hopped in after him.

I had this horrible headache when I woke up and I felt something move behind me. Out of instinct I went to punch it but Kakuzu's hand caught my fist just before it came in contact with his face.

"What the fuck?" I said sitting up and rubbing my head. I guess I must've hit something but what the fuck ever, it's time to start this damn mission.

Kakuzu sat up as well, yawning, "let's just get started."

I quickly looked around the room, a normal hotel room, nothing much. With a smirk I flicked Kakuzu in the back of the head and headed out the door. His response to that was throwing something breakable at me, too bad I was already out the door the slow old geezer.

With a laugh I headed down the hall, looking back to see the room number so I wouldn't get lost later.

While he was confused and trying to kill me when I flicked him, I grabbed his wallet. Going into the lobby I found the front door and started walked down the road. Turning back I took a mental note to remember our hotel was a giant black pyramid.

Smirking, I looked around at the casino's. The moon was high in the sky yet it was so bright down here not a single star could be seen.

Right now, I wanted to waste have of that asshole's money on some poker, I looked around and entered a random casino. I found ton's of people around, it was so packed compared to anything I've ever seen. I only looked a moment longer before finding the exchange booth and slammed Kakuzu's wallet onto the counter.

"Give me whatever I can get out of this," the guy behind the counter picked up the wallet but stopped when he opened it.

"Uh sir?"

I made an irritated face, "what?"

"This is Japanese yen, you need American dollars to play," I gave him a confused look, "what the fuck is an American dollar?"

"There's a currency exchange booth behind me you can trade over there and come back," he handed me back the wallet and I snatched it back, pissed.

Looking around the booth, I saw another one, I once again put the wallet on the counter, "exchange it," was I said.

There was a (hot) female standing behind the counter, when she turned around I checked out her ass, damn.

"Here you go sir," she said as she turned around, "you total money is now 537 dollars and twelve cents," she smiled brightly and handed me the wallet back.

As I walked away, I pulled out a bill and examined it, it was really strange compared to our money. 'American' money was really green, getting over that, I got a bag of poker chips in place of the wallet and I headed for the tables.

Thank Jashin for me that poker was the same here. I had realized halfway through this game that if the money was different who knows what else was different as well?
I laid a pair of aces down in a fold, hey, just because I hate the bastard doesn't mean I want to go shit broke in five minutes.

The next round started, some guy with a cigar hanging out of his mouth winning, and this time around I got a luckier draw.

I was one card away from a full house, I just needed a jack. I traded in my card, and I was surprised as hell when I got just the card I needed. I didn't make a face, only continued the smirk I had been wearing when I sat down.

Two guy's folded, another twenty bucks later a third guy did as well, that left me and cigarette over there.

"I raise twenty," he said with his annoying voice.

"I'll call your twenty and raise you fifty," I countered back. The other guys, now interested, leaned in a bit more.

"Hmm, fine then," he put more chips in the center and put his card down on the table, "three of a kind, aces."

Three aces in a row with some other two cards and I smirked at him while laying my card down, "full house," the cigar fell out of his mouth slightly and he made a face before smiling.

"Good job rookie," he pushed the chips towards me and I shoved them in my bag, "'nother round perhaps?"

I shook my head, "nah I wanna see what else there is to do," he smiled a bit before taking out another cigar and lighting it.

"I'll come with if you don't mind," he stood and picked up his bag, "can I buy you a drink stranger."

I couldn't pass up a free drink, "hell yeah."

We went to the bar and he leaned against the wood, "two black velvet's if you will," he said to the bartender. I had no idea what the hell a black velvet was but it sure sounded good, especially if it was some sort of alcohol. I added that to my list of information on the nightlife, different drinks.

A moment later a tall dark glass filled to the top with Jashin knows what was placed in front of me. Cigar took a drink and sighed happily. Without another thought I down the drink as well, it stung my throat but all in all tasted awesome.

I leaned forward into the counter and turned to this stranger, "yo fucker why are you buying me a drink now?"

He took out his cigarette and blew out before saying, "it's been awhile since someone's beaten me at poker and I told myself I'd buy a drink for every person who beats me."

I raised an eyebrow and took another gulp at my drink, "that's an interesting thing to do… I guess. So how many fucking drinks have you bought people?" since I was kind of curious.

"Including you, seven."

I raised an eyebrow, he must be good at poker, "alright then cigar boy, what other fucking things can a guy do around here?"

"You look like the kind of guy who would love a good lap dance," he said with a smirk, which I returned fully.

"You man, are my new best friend," he punched my shoulder and downed the rest of his drink before motioning me to fallow.

"There's this great strip club down the street, if you've got some money you could bring a few of them home. Not to sound gay or anything, but you've got a nice face so it really shouldn't take too much convincing if you know what I mean," he finished with a wink.

I laughed at that and we walked outside down the street, after cashing in of course. He turned abruptly at a street corner and I met the full lights of this place, Jashin damn it was amazing.

"Just a question," I said to him, "where are we?" I definitely wanted to come back here.

He laughed, "forgetting already? Your in Vegas my friend! And what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!"

We walked down the street and he came to a stop at a nightclub or whatever with flashing lights and tinted windows, he smirked and said, "here we are," opening the door, we entered hell.

Or should I say, any mans heaven. I was practically drooling at everything I saw, "oh hell yes," with that, I left cigar's and went to the closest girl I could find.

On the stage, she had such a nice face, I wanted to see that up close, as well as everything else…

Cigar's handed me a drink and all I know is that a whole lot of shit happened that night.

.:!.:!:.!:.

I opened my eyes slowly, the room was still dark and I felt a body next to mine. Freezing slightly, I breathed out slightly remembering I had killed everyone last night.

Wait.

"Oh shit," my eyes flew open and despite my headache I sat up and looked around. Yep, all dead. Cigar's took me to some stripper party in a hotel room but damn, I don't remember much.

The only thing I can remember is the fuzzy image of blood. I must have not only been drunk off-my-rocker but high as fuck from doing my ritual or something. These people were absolutely drained. The floor was painted red.

I absentmindedly stood and went to bathroom, simultaneously relieving myself and looking for some kind of pain killer. I found one and downed it quickly before making my way to the door.

I knew Kakuzu would be furious, not that I was gone, but that I took his wallet. Right now I really didn't want to deal with that shit so I just robbed everyone, they were dead anyway, and made my way back to the hotel.

In the day time, the streets seemed relatively empty around the casino's and strip clubs and regular clubs. Its seemed freakishly barren, most likely because everyone was nursing hangovers.

I found the giant pyramid and went in looking for room whatever it was. Inside the room I was instantly met by Kakuzu's fuming face, "you best have a good reason for taking my money."

I smirked slightly and threw his precious wallet at his chest, "I only doubled it for ya you dumb bitch."

He opened it and immediately starting riffling through the contents, "this isn't my money. What the hell Hidan."

"Hey, it's a thing know as American money. Count it and be happy you fucker, now shut up I'm hungover," I flopped onto the bed before closing my eyes and trying to sleep.

"What's that?" I heard his annoying voice ask.

I groaned, "shut up!"

"Is that blood? You idiot you killed a bunch of people didn't you. After Pein told you not too."

"Fuck you," I groaned again.

Kakuzu growled slightly before saying, "if we get caught I'm blaming you."

I ignored him and went to sleep.

A few hours later I woke up and looked around the dark room. I could see behind the shades it was clearly day time so either I've been asleep for five minutes or I slept through the day and night.

I saw Kakuzu sitting in a chair reading, I threw a pillow at him, "yo fucker, how long have I been asleep?"

"For two whole days. The alcohol must have a different effect then our Sake."

I sighed before falling back onto the bed, "great." I can't believe I had missed two whole days of fucking around the town.

"Oh by the way, the police are after you. Since you decided to be an idiot and kill everyone in that room, their looking for you."

I groaned and sat up, "whatever. What's happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

Kakuzu looked at me over his paper, "where the hell did you learn that?"

"Cigar guy told me last night when I can remember things," standing up I went into the little kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Who's cigar guy," I shrugged.

"I may have killed him last night but he got me a bunch of drinks and took me to the strip club, which was all I needed," I said with a smirk.

Kakuzu paused for a moment before turning to face me, "I'd like to know what impulse made you kill all those people. I have no doubt you'd do that normally but I thought you'd have at least some self control."

"Hey there was a lot of biting ok," I said trying to defend myself, "my Jashinist instincts were telling me to start killing when I got the taste of someone's blood. Besides, ever since I joined the Akatsuki I've had this instinct to kill whoever I have sex with."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and went back to reading, I turned a chair around and sat in front of him, "well what have you been doing these last few nights fucker?"

Without looking up he answered, "I spent half of the first night trying to find you. When that proved fruitless I came back to the hotel and explored a little. I didn't find much, I played a single game of something called slots for informational purposes and I then retired for the night. You came stumbling in a few mornings ago covered in blood and smiling like a still drunk idiot."

"Hey! At least I had some fun, your just a boring stick in the fucking mud."

"Yesterday was nothing interesting either. In the morning I looked around a bit more, not much to see, there's a place called McDonald's that seems to be on every street corner, yesterday night a few drunk women tried to get me as qually drunk as them-"

"Why the fuck didn't you take it?" I said interrupting him.

He sighed, "well for one I'm not you. And two I didn't want to end up drunk as hell to do god knows what and wake up god knows where, plus I didn't want to be asleep for days."

"You wasted a perfectly good chance to get laid you asshole."

Kakuzu looked up from his paper and narrowed his eyes at me, "do you want me to cut your head off."

I frowned and made a face, "No."

"Then shut up."

I was about to retaliate when a loud obnoxious knock rang through the room.

"What?" I yelled through the door.

"Sir we have evidence you were apart of the murder two nights ago, open up."

"Shit."

"I told you," was all Kakuzu said before standing up, "give me five minutes and we'll be back in the base."

The banging grew louder as Kakuzu concentrated and I was trying to shut them up, "hey shut the fuck up out there," I yelled.

"You have the right to remain silent!"

"Fuck that, stop your damn banging,"

"Sir-"

Kakuzu suddenly grabbed me by the back of my shirt and hurled me into the void. I landed on the ground a moment later, coughing and panting slightly.

A few seconds later Kakuzu fell down next to me, breathing just as heavily, "they broke the door just as I left."

"Ah, well damn," turning to him I said, "what fucking happens in Vegas…"

He turned to me and finished the sentence, "stays in Vegas."

Up next:

"Stop talking to me," he said with a slight frown.

Returning his frown I said, "oh come on, Pein said to lighten up a little bit. We're surrounded by art how could this possibly be bad yeah? Besides, that girl is flirting with you so nows the time to get a little action in." I winked in the general direction of said girl

He stared at me with his dull brown eyes, rolling them as he said, "I don't have a heart so how the hell am I supposed to know when somone's flirting with me?"