A/N: trigger warnings for anxiety medication and kind of self harm?
Castiel and Anna road home in silence. Castiel could see Anna squirm in her seat occasionally in the corner of his eye. He chose to ignore it. Castiel didn't want her to win; not this time.
Anna always seemed to get people do to what she wants. Hell, she might've been able to convince someone to jump off a bridge. She's always had that gift. Castiel refused to give in.
Once Anna pulled in the driveway, Castiel got out as fast as humanly possible. He didn't want to give Anna a second to change his mind. When Castiel opened the door to their two-story house, he immediately saw his father sitting at the kitchen table with a shot glass and a bottle of whiskey on the table next to the laptop. "Hello, Castiel," his dad mumbled. "Hello." Castiel mumbled back, running up the stairs.
Castiel's family rarely ever talk anymore. They always used to sit down every night and have dinner when his mom was still alive. Him and Anna always grumbled about it to Naomi, but deep down, Castiel loved it. He loved it because no matter what crap was happening in his life, they were a family. Castiel thought that was never going to get taken from him. Now, everyone in the Novak family does everything on their own time. They eat, bathe, sleep and work when they want/need to. Naomi used to have a set time for when everyone would do what they needed to. Ever since she died, Castiel and his family let almost all of her living memories die with her.
"Castiel, wait!" Chuck called after him when he was halfway up the staircase. Castiel stopped walking and turned to look at him. "Yes father?" He asked. "I thought you would want to know that Gabriel and Michael are coming to live with us for awhile." Chuck said, still typing. Castiel thought for a moment. He was actually quite happy he would get to see Gabriel again, but Michael, not so much. "Alright." Castiel said, unsure of what else to stay. He didn't want to argue, He didn't have enough energy to and didn't really see the point in it. His dad had been really stressed out for the last couple of months, the least Castiel could do was not add on to it.
Castiel continued walking and reached the top of his stairs. He turned down the hallway and entered the last room on the left; his room. He set his backpack on his bed and took a deep breath. Castiel looked into his bathroom and looked at the little orange bottle sitting on the sink next to the faucet. He sighed a breath of relief when he saw his prescription anxiety pills. Castiel was grateful his father got up to change his liquor bottles every once in awhile, which is why he found Castiel's note, saying he needed more. Castiel had only gone one day without one and he thought his head was going to explode. He rushed into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle. He opened it and shook one out into his hand. Castiel looked up into the mirror that was placed above the sink. He quickly turned his head and looked at the bathtub on the other side of the bathroom. Castiel couldn't bear to look at himself.
He hated himself for many reasons. He hated what he became after his mom died, he hated he needed pills, he hated he could never get a good night's sleep anymore. Castiel thought the list could go on forever. Castiel opened the drawer on the sink. There in was, glistening from the sunlight pouring through the window in his room like it was an invitation, his razor blade.
A/N: If you have harmed yourself before, remember, you are loved! You need to tell someone you trust about it. I went to my doctor about my own self harm yesterday, and was prescribed anxiety meds and I will be attending counseling soon. I know what you are going through. BE STRONG! (btw updating on Tuesdays isn't anything normal, I'm just at home today with nothing else to do so I thought I would post it. I try to update on weekends.)