Authors Note: Let it be known this chapter will not contain the smut you were just fanning yourself over. We know Damon and Elena spent hours in that hayloft but they didn't just keep having sex. They had moments that would always lead up to it. I wanted to give you the readers those moments, moments that I feel Damon and Elena fans deserved, now on with the show...

They had fallen into a comfortable silence after Elena had swatted his chest saying he was insatiable they both shared a laugh before relishing in the simplicity of the moment. Damon once again getting lost in the sound of Elena's heart beat deeming it to be music to his ears.

While Damon was appreciating the sound of his girl's heart beat Elena was appreciating the fact that she was in the arms of the man she loves so dearly. The last time she had remembered Damon was when she had lost him the night he had died. The night her entire world shifted and had taken a turn for the worst, because Damon hadn't kept his promise to her, he hadn't come back. Since her memories had returned she hadn't allowed herself to go down that dark road, but now as she remained content in his hold she was finally feeling the pain and heartache from that night causing her to sniffle as she tried to hold back tears.

The sound of sniffling going heard by Damon but he figured with her now being human it was allergies since they literally were surrounded by hay. That assumption however wrong as his chest suddenly felt wet "Elena" he whispers drawing back so that he can look at her and immediately feeling a sense of worry wash over him as he catches sight of tears in her eyes "hey" framing her face in his hands as his steely blues meet her saddened brown orbs "what's wrong?"

Damon's simple action, his gentle action and the concern in his voice enough to make her shatter completely as more tears continue to run down her face. Tears of happiness that he had come back from the dead, tears of joy because he was no longer a stranger to her, tears of hope for the future they were about to embark on together. Through the happy tears were also the ones of deep regret because she had been foolish enough in thinking that compelling him away was the right choice. "Yo-you lied to me" and it's as if suddenly she's back in that crypt again reliving that night. Seeing Damon's brows draw together in confusion "you promised me that you'd come back….bu-but you didn't."

The light-bulb suddenly going off in his head now understanding exactly what she's speaking about causing a look of guilt to suddenly showcase on his dark features "baby I didn't have a choice….more than anything I wanted to stay with you and if I have been given that chance believe me I would have taken it." Seeing Elena breaking down this way in front of him causing his heart to clench wanting to take away this pain "I was there with you Elena I watched as your world shattered, because I was sharing that exact feeling with you. I heard every word that you said, but unfortunately you didn't hear what I said." Even with so much time going by he had recalled what he said word for word, and seeing that his angel was breaking in front of him he only found it right to let her see straight into his heart. "You are by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my hundred and seventy three years on this earth. That fact that I was able to die knowing that I was loved not just by anyone, but by you Elena Gilbert is the epitome of a fulfilled life" taking his hand "since unfortunately I was a ghost you weren't able to feel my touch but I did this." Taking his hand and gliding the pad of his thumb along her cheek "I told you how it was never going to get any better than this" a smile gracing his features. "I told how I peeked and that I love you" tweaking the speech "and I do Elena more than anything in this world some might say that considering you to be my life is my weakness but I see it as my greatest strength, because loving you, being loved by you is the reason why I am who I am today."

Listening to Damon's speech had been her undoing because she had heard the devotion and love in his tone and like a selfish coward her way of showcasing that love had been begging Alaric to make Damon forgotten. Tears now turning to desperate cries as she sobbed against his chest "I'm sorry Damon" she mumbles against his chest.

"Sorry" he repeats "I thought I was supposed to be the one saying sorry" he teases hoping to add some lightness to this sudden dark and gloomy moment. Pressing a soothing kiss atop her head and then moving running his fingers through her soft and straightened tresses.

Honestly she's not sure how long she remains buried into his chest, but finally she forces herself to draw back, lifting her head so that she can look at him "I'm sorry about compelling you away."

Ah so now they had moved onto another sore subject yeah that certainly wasn't a joy to come back to. Time in the prison world had been hell, having to spend day in and day out living the same day with Bonnie had been a pain in the ass, but his definition of hell was being away from Elena. Each new or rather old day that passed only confirming that he wasn't going to make it back causing him to lose more and more hope, but when Bonnie had presented to him the chance of getting out hope had been restored. Elena had been the reason he had kept fighting, and had kept hope alive because as soon as he'd return home all would be well again. The door would swing open and silence would fall over them, each of them taking the other in before crashing together in the best way they know how. The reality of the situation had been half right, because the door had opened but Elena had never fallen into his arms, because in her eyes he had only been a stranger, and it had killed.

I'm going to tell Elena that I love her

The past promise he had made about what he'd do the second he returned home not ending the way he had wanted it to. Taking his left hand he moves it up to the small of her bare back "shh" he soothes rubbing invisible circles along it "it's okay Elena" yup he had felt betrayed by the action, but he had no right to judge because he hadn't been put in that position. "It's forgotten" he whispers "the past is in the past and it can't hurt us anymore, we're here now that's what matters."

Of course Damon would be willing to put the past in the past, but she knew him well and even with his forgiving nature she could tell he had been hurt by what she had done. "I know that the past can't hurt us anymore" she begins reaching out so that she can rest her hand on his cheek "but I need you to know that it wasn't easy letting you go. I need you to know that it was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life." Seeing Damon start to protest she places her finger against his lips "please Damon" she half begs wanting to get her side of the story out.

There was no point in arguing with her on this, because she was stubborn and when she was set on something she'd do it. Nodding his head before puckering his lips and pressing a sweet kiss to her finger.

With Damon giving her the go ahead and the affection kiss to her finger she lets a soft smile grace her features before sucking in a nervous breath knowing this next part was going to be difficult. "I hate saying this but it's the truth I know loss well, it's something that always travels with me from my parents, Isobel, John, Jenna, Ric and Jeremy" the names along causing a deep ache in her heart. "I've experienced it head on, but through all of that somehow I was able to make it through. When I lost my parents I pushed on because my brother needed me, but then you entered my life Damon and each time something tragic happened you were there. You became my rock, you became my shoulder to cry on and even in my darkest of moments you still had the ability to shed light. I was always to move on with my life because of you, but when I lost you" her lips trembling "when I lost you Damon I lost myself." Please get through this without crying "I wanted to grieve for you the proper way just as I had done with everyone else, but that's the thing you weren't just everyone else you were" licking her lips "you were you….I felt as if my entire world had been ripped away from me, and I couldn't breathe."

How had they gone from playful, flirty banter resulting in rolling in the hay to the heavy stuff? All he wanted to do was steer away from this subject because he could see and hear how hard this had been for Elena. Was it wrong of him that he was feeling a sense of relief because she had been a mess with his absence? When he had returned he hadn't been given much insight on how Elena had acted after his death only that she had chosen to forget him, but now he was being given an inside look on how she had coped.

"The point is I wasn't getting any better, if anything I was becoming worse because each new day lived was another day without you. People say time heals all wounds, but it didn't in my case because months, years or centuries could have gone by and my love for you still would have been constant as ever, and the absence of you still would have been fresh. Luke ended up seeing that I was suffering and he had been feeling guilty that he was the responsible one for you remaining stuck so he had offered me these witch herbs explain that they might help." Seeing his brow cock perfectly to the side, his way of silently telling her to go on "it brought you back to me….it made me hallucinate you only it didn't feel like a hallucination it felt real. I was able to talk to you, laugh with you, be kissed by you….touch you….it might not have been real, but to me it was the most real thing, because at least in some way I had you."

"So" licking his lips trying to figure out what to say next "you ended up taking some witch-ju-ju so that you were able to see me only it wasn't me" he finishes giving a cliff notes version.

"When you came back you ended up seeing Ric what did he tell you about how I was handling things?"

"Not much" recalling how irritated he had been that his best friend hadn't even helped him "pretty much kept me in the dark told me you were in a bad state, but it wasn't his story to tell."

"Bad isn't the half of it" he says with a shake of her head as a soft sigh escapes her "since in a way they were drugs I ended up becoming addicted and like any druggie I developed cravings." Watching realization suddenly mirror in his eyes "blood" her eyes remaining trained on him as she takes in his reaction "not just wanting it, but needing it, desperately." Feeling shame course through her remembering her darkest of hours "I was out of my mind, I attacked people and I had almost killed a girl, but luckily Caroline had caught me before it happened, and my careless mistake had almost cost us having someone find out who we were."

Thanks to Damon he had seen Elena in a dangerous state when he like an idiot had told her to turn off her emotions when Jeremy died, but what she was telling him now made this version of Elena worse than the last. Sitting here he found it hard to wrap his head around that Elena had chosen to go down such an ugly path. "I'm guessing that when Caroline had finally caught you in the act the this is wrong switch finally flicked on and that's when you came to the conclusion that" swallowing hard "the best way for you to not live life dangerously was to forget about me."

"Do you remember when you told me that you love me and I shot back at you well maybe that's the problem" from the way she felt his body flinch her answer had been given. "Well in the case of your death Damon my love for you was the problem, because I loved you so much that being without you had made me lose myself completely….so yes I ended up turning to Ric, begging him to make me forget, but it wasn't because I didn't love you enough, it was because I loved you too much."

"So" lips pursed together deep in thought before speaking up again "you end up going to Alaric telling him compel you so you could forget….and adios that was that?"

"It was actually a more difficult process than that. Alaric had to rewire my mind, tweaking past memories of us, but in order for it to work he needed to know the exact moment when I had fallen in love with you."

"Oh" a brief pause before curiosity gets the better of him "and when was that?"

"During a time when I was still with Stefan" she answers not once removing her gaze from him as she gauges his reaction.

That had actually surprised him because he had figured it had been during the whole sire bond mishap. "I see" nodding his head, wanting to know more, but also knowing this was her business and he didn't have a right to go through it "you don't need to say anymore Elena."

"I want to though it's the least I can do for what I put you through."

"You don't owe me anything" he whispers leaning down and pressing a lingering kiss to her lips.

Smiling against his lips before breaking the kiss so that she can once again look at him "I know, but I want to, because I want you to know, and because you deserve to know."

Pushing back a stray piece of hair away from her face and behind her ear "alright" offering her a smile "so tell me when was the moment you fell for this dashing face?"

How was she going to go about starting this? Just rip the band aid off her inner voice suggests "my birthday."

Elena's birthday? Damon's brows pulling in confusion, because never once had he ever assumed it had been during that time frame considering she was hell bent on finding Stefan. Not for a second had Damon thought she had loved him in that moment, and yet she was saying it. I asked her the moment she fell in love with me she said her birthday, but why he can't help but wonder as he listens intently, waiting for her to continue.

With Damon's silence she took it as a sign to go on because she still had some explaining to do "you're supposed to be happy on your birthday that's why they call it happy birthday" she says with a slight laugh trying to hide her nervousness. "I was absolutely miserable though, because in my eyes there was nothing to celebrate about, I was still getting over loss….and then there was the fact that months searching and we still weren't any closer to finding Stefan. The point is I didn't want to celebrate, and yet Caroline had insisted on throwing a party because it was the distraction that I needed, and with Caroline being Caroline" rolling her eyes "she went all out, and I didn't have the heart to tell her no. So I sucked it up, but that night as I stood in Stefan's room I realized suddenly I wanted to be selfish and I had every intention of not going down, but then you came into the room. You found me" adoration is reflecting in her warm brown eyes "just as you always do."

Remaining eerily silent as he listens to the story and even with years passed he still recalls that night vividly, remembering how he had wanted to practically throw Blondie and the rest of the idiots out of his house, because he knew Elena hadn't wanted it.

This isn't what she wanted, because it was too much, and these people? Did she even give a rat's ass about them? Damon's guess would be no, because they were your regular run of the mill high school idiots who had no idea who Elena really was and what she had to go through day in and day out. If it had been up to Damon he would have had an intimate gathering with her loved ones. Either he would have made food or ordered pizza, broken out the alcohol and let them do whatever figuring now was a good time for this because she needed it. Instead though Blondie Forbes had taken over suggesting that this huge ass birthday bash have anyone and everyone in town, because this is what Elena wanted, but Damon knew better. As much as he wanted to refuse Caroline he eventually couldn't fight her nagging anymore and gave in which also included his house for the night since it was the perfect place to host a party.

Now here he stood leaning in the doorway of his brother's bedroom, and yes it had been the first place he allowed his feet to carry him, because he knew she would be here 'always Stefan' he reminds himself. That familiar ache rising in his chest knowing that since Elena had yet to grace the party she was up here longing for her beloved who unfortunately wasn't him. During the summer ever since Stefan had been Team Klaus joining the Big Bad Wolf, Elena and him had grown closer, they had become each other's support and each other's rocks, and because of it Damon had fallen even deeper in love with her which he didn't think was possible. 'Enough with the pity party tonight isn't about you it's about her' he thinks. Damon's gaze trained on the angel standing a few feet away from him, and with the white lace dress it added more to the angelic appeal. With his reflection now in the mirror he silently announced himself as Elena met his gaze in the mirror.

"Don't worry I'm not going to lose it, at least not before the cake."

Here it was her birthday, her party and she was holding it together because she didn't want to let Caroline down 'she's amazing' snapping himself from his love sick daze offering a shrug of his shoulders "it's your party you can cry it you want to."

"I was trying to do what I'm usually known for doing putting on a brave face, and to anyone else I would have fooled them, but to you….you saw right through it. You ended up pulling out a box and when you opened it you revealed my necklace, the one that Stefan had given to me. There I was in his room, missing him and you had returned a part of him to me." Even now she could tell talking about Stefan was still a sore subject for Damon, but she appreciated that he was actually sitting through this. "It had meant everything to me because that necklace had stood for hope and been a symbol of mine and Stefan's love….you could have tossed it away, kept it hidden, but instead you gave it back to me, because you knew how much it meant to me." God, thinking back to it now why had she been such a fool to compel memories such as this away, because this had been the type of gesture that women dreamed of. A man who went above and beyond for them, who loved so deeply that he'd put her first before himself. "Even after what you felt for me you still gave me that necklace and it was by far the most selfless thing anyone has ever done, and in that moment I had fallen in love with you."

Hope had been restored he saw it instantly reflecting in her warm brown eyes as she caught his gaze for a moment before looking at the necklace in disbelief. "I thought I'd never see it again" watching as she reaches into the box and gently takes it out so she can hold it. Damon continuing to watch the look of content fill her and he figures she's most likely thinking back to the time Stefan had first given it to her. "Alaric found it in his loft and figured you'd be happy to get it back" he says nonchalantly, and yes it had been found in Alaric's loft, but Alaric hadn't been the one to find it, hell like he'd be able to find anything. It had been Damon who had searched high and low, and he hadn't gotten lucky with Alaric's apartment right of the bat. Countless other places had been searched and Alaric's loft had been the last place, and after an annoying game hide and seek he had finally found it.

"I am happy, thank you."

Of course she was happy; fate had finally greeted her, giving her a sign that Stefan would eventually find his way back to her and all would be right in the universe again "you're welcome."

"Can you?"

"Oh absolutely" he'd do anything for this girl, travel to hell and back for her if needed, and right now she wanted this necklace around her neck. This necklace more than a necklace because it was a symbol of his brother and Elena's love, and as much as it killed him he knew she needed this. Each time she'd look at this necklace she'd be reminded of her love for Stefan and how she needed to be strong and keep fighting for him, because eventually she'd find herself in his arms again. Damon would make sure of that no matter 'how badly it kills me' their gazes meeting in the mirror as he carefully clasps the necklace into place.

"Your birthday" he repeats, disbelief clear in his tone having trouble accepting that she had loved him so early on. Elena had been absolutely destroyed over Stefan's absence and it killed Damon each time he saw her break, and yet each time she broke he had been there. Did it kill him to hear her continuously speak of her longing for his brother? Hell yes, but he sat through it, offering his shoulder and works of reassurance and comfort each time. "I would have done anything for you Elena" he speaks with conviction "if I had been able to switch places so that Stefan could have come back to you I would have without question. Would it have hurt to be away from you? Yes, but I would have done it anyways, because I will always choose you." It was still hard for Damon to process that in that moment she had loved him. A shadow of a smile showing itself as he now views that memory in an entirely different new light.

"I know you would have" placing her hand on his chest taking her finger and drawing invisible shapes along it "the thing is Damon" hesitating with this next sentence "even then if it had been you I don't think I would have been able to survive without you." Watching the surprise reflect in Damon's eyes at her admission "I once even humored the thought of how it would have been if it had been you instead of Stefan….as much as I loved Stefan I was able to get past his absence because I had you to lean on, you've always been my rock Damon, and if it had been you….if I had lost you Stefan wouldn't have been enough to help me heal, because I never would have been able to move on from you, and I would have lived the rest of my life playing the what if game."

Holy shit everything she was revealing to him he was trying to wrap his head around, now playing any past moment between them in his head and wondering if that moment would have played out differently in her head. "The night of the Michelson ball" he trails off now wanting to hear her side of the story and curious to know if it might have changed things.

"Your love was not the problem" she passionately states remembering how defeated he had looked after she had given that blow to his heart. "I was the problem, because I was this scared, selfish little girl who couldn't admit what I wanted and what I felt….here you were passionately telling me that you love me, and instead of saying what I wanted to say to you I took the easy way out by hurting you."

"So you loved me at that point in time?"

"Yes" moving so that she can press a kiss against his chest, right where soon enough his human heart would be beating. "That trip to Denver that we took was suggested by Stefan to sort out if I had feelings for you, but I was more than aware of what I felt….and that kiss" heat running through her cheeks remembering the all too consuming kiss or rather make out session they had shared. "That wasn't just lust taking over, that was the longing that I held for you taking over….I had been holding everything that I felt for you inside, and I couldn't take it any longer so I kissed you."

"More so you threw yourself at me" he cheekily adds offering her a sly smirk before interlacing his fingers with hers.

"Fine" shaking her head "I threw myself at you; I just want you to know though that in the moments I pushed you away deep down I wanted to hold onto you for dear life and never let you go."

In some way this was helping to heal past wounds, moments that he had seen himself as nothing he was now starting to realize he had been something. A small smile gracing his lips as he gives her hand a short squeeze "well I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

Lifting their interlocked hands to her lips, keeping her eyes trained on him as she presses her lips tenderly across his knuckles "neither am I."

"Good"

"Good"

Blue meeting brown once again, their gazes locked on each other, and it seemed just as always no words were needed as their eyes and lips communicated with each other, not knowing who had made the move first as their lips connect with one another.

Kissing her deeply putting his heart and soul into the kiss and putting past kisses that should have been onto her lips, hands cupping her face as his lips detach from the kiss so that he can trail them gently kissing each side of her cheek, her jaw, and her slender neck. Damon's movements not rushed wanting to take his time and revel in this moment of tenderness between them. The truth had finally come out, and he loved her for it. Gingerly he lays her back down onto the makeshift bed, lips meeting hers once again in a slow and sensual kiss.

A soft purr escaping her throat as she feels his skilled lips get to work. Kissing her skin, lips touching against different spots on her as time seemed to slow, and once again they were drawing back into their own little world where only they existed I like this world. Elena's eyes fluttered closed for a moment as Damon lays her back down onto the blanket that covered the hay, hands reaching up to touch his face as their lips moved against each other.

Adjusting himself so his body now lay perfectly between her inviting legs, taking her arms and lifting them above their head. Damon's hand interlocking with her own perfect fit something he will never tire of, alluring blue eyes training themselves solely on her hazel orbs as he kisses her with all the love he can give. Lips remaining connected as Damon aligns his cock into her entrance and then with one push he pushes himself into her welcoming heated passage.

Already growing with anticipation her fingers lacing with his own as she allows him to draw her arms up, Elena's gaze dancing with his own as they eyes remain connected. Lips moving and working together in a way that sends a shudder down her back, because no one has ever kissed her the way Damon has. A moan of appreciation slipping past her as she feels him push into her.

Since she was now human his movements still weren't rushed, waiting for her to adjust and be ready. Taking her moan as a sign to continue he starts to rock his hips slowly against hers as they match each other in perfect sync, and in perfect harmony.

Elena's back arching up, chest brushing into his own as his hips rolled deliciously against hers, giving his hand a small squeeze, legs wrapping around his waist to draw them closer together as his name was moaned into the kiss "Damon."

Their kisses displaying passion but above all love, a low moan sounding from his lips at the feeling of her tight walls squeezing around his thick length "Elena" filling Elena completely as he continues to rock his lips in a steady motion. Their bodies moving together perfectly, kissing her lips lovingly wanting to silently tell her that there's no place he'd rather be than here, with her.

Elena just as always when it comes to Damon growing lost in him, in the kiss that they share. Every nerve in her petite frame surging with pleasure and desire from this kiss alone, add in their bodies moving together and she was feeling the definition of bliss. Feeling every inch of him move inside of her, moaning at the feeling of his hips rocking into hers, matching him thrust for thrust as her legs wrap around his waist a little more, wanting as little distance between their frames as possible.

Their panting becoming heavy as Damon continues to give his eager attention to her lips, feeling Elena's inner walls clenching more firmly against his member, knowing that she was close.

Heavy breaths breaking from her, lips continuing to move with his own as their bodies did, muscles flexing around his invading length as her body starts to tense and the pressure starts to build signaling that she's growing closer. Finally breaking their lip lock but keeping her forehead pressed into his, moaning his name as her body shudders with pure and heavy pleasure.

Elena's cries bouncing off the hayloft walls as she rides out her orgasm, and it doesn't take long for Damon to catch up, following shortly after as he recites her name over and over again between rises as he releases himself inside of her.

Kissing Damon's lips repeatedly as that buzz shot through her at hearing him say her name over and over again, enjoying the sounds that they were always able to produce from one another.

Both of them slowly returning from their high as Damon rests his body against her petite frame, still keeping himself buried inside of her not wanting to leave just yet.

More than content with the position they were in as she tries to catch her breath, her fingers now running through Damon's hair "Damon?"

Raising his head so that he can look at her "hm?"

"When was the moment that you fell in love with me?"

End Part 2