Disclaimer: I don't own Kung Fu Panda or the Hangover.

"MANTIS!"

Mantis poked his head out the kitchen door.

"Huh?"

"GET YOU MINIATURE BUTT IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Mantis followed the sound of Crane's furious voice to the insect's own room. Inside the simplistic living quarters, Mantis found Crane, Po and Monkey looking very displeased. For Crane, displeased was an understatement.

"Wassup?" Mantis asked.

"Explain this!"

Crane picked up a box which Mantis had been hiding beneath his bed. Mantis mentally cursed himself for accepting his friends' offer to pack his things for him while he prepared the food for the journey to Gongmen City.

"It's just of box of private stuff!" Mantis said, though with a sinking feeling knew that they already knew what was inside.

"Oh really?" Po asked.

Crane removed the lid to reveal a large pile of small paintings.

"I thought we told you to burn these after we looked at them!" Crane snapped. "This is a total violation of trust!"

Inside the box was a collection of the paintings Feng the palace artist had done to document the foursome's fateful night out.

No wait, fivesome. Tigress had also accompanied them, but had not suffered anywhere near as much as the males. Much to Po's relief she still remembered very little of the incident.

"Oh god, I'm right on top!" Crane moaned as he pulled out a painting of him plucking out his own feathers in front of a disgruntled Mei Ling.

And I'm right beneath you!" Po stared in horror as he pulled out the painting of him and Tigress kissing in his room. It was a mark of how strong their friendship was that the others didn't tease him about that particular painting and risk Tigress getting suspicious. They all knew that if Tigress ever learned of what she and Po had done that night, it could potentially ruin their friendship.

"Mantis, do you realize that if Shifu ever comes across these, our lives won't be worth two yuan?" Monkey glared at the insect.

"Yeah, that's why I hid them under the bed." Said Mantis. "Believe it or not, he never looks under the beds."

"Mantis, the last thing I need is Viper finding out that I plucked out my own feathers!" Crane snapped.

"You don't need to worry about that." Said Mantis. "She interrogated me after the Moon Festival and to avoid the torture I decided to tell her."

"YOU WHAT?" Crane's eyes bulged.

"Hey, she was going to use her version of the Poison Fang Technique on me!"

"Viper's fangs are smaller than her father's, Mantis!" Monkey said.

"Believe it or not, that what made it all the more terrifying. Don't ask why. You don't wanna know."

"Mantis!" Po gritted his teeth. "If Tigress ever finds this painting, she'll never talk to me again!"

"We want you to go straight into the kitchen and burn these paintings while Shifu and the girls and still down in the village!" Monkey said.

Mantis sighed in defeat.

"Fine, I'll get rid of them. Give them here and I'll stuff them in the stove."

Crane replaced the box lid and handed Mantis the box. The insect then left the room and headed for the kitchen.

As soon as he was inside the kitchen, he hid the box of paintings beneath the loose floorboard under the table.

He knew his friends would kill him if they found out he was still in possession of the paintings, but you never know when blackmail is necessary.

"Hey, Crane. Check this out!" Mantis said upon returning to the others. "Remember when you ratted me out to Monkey when I stole some of his almond cookies?" Crane and Monkey both nodded. "I asked Po and he let me get back at you with this! Show him, Po."

Po went into his room, and returned with an object in his hand. He placed it on the bedside table for the others to see.

Crane scowled at the small action figure in his likeness: the head part of it had been painted pink, as if it had been plucked clean of feathers. Po and Monkey burst out laughing as the bird chased Mantis from the room, yelling about revenge.

"No freaking way! Absolutely not!"

"Aw come on, Crane!" Mantis moaned. "It's just one drink at the Fenghuang Tavern! Not a booze fest!"

"I told you NO!" Crane snapped. "Not when we're about to attend the opening of the Gongmen Kung Fu Academy! Besides, I'm still mentally damaged from the last time we went on a night out! As for you, I'm beginning to think you've been mentally damaged all your life!"

"Come on, Crane!" Mantis was practically on his knees on the deck of the boat transporting them to Gongmen City.

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please with a mini dumpling on top?"

"NO!"

"Aw, Crane!"

"Hey, knock it off you two!" Monkey and Po emerged from below deck upon being disturbed by the pair's arguing.

"Monkey, Po, tell Crane that nothing's gonna happen this time!" Mantis pleaded.

"What are you talking about?" Monkey asked.
"Mantis here wants us all to visit the opening of this place called the Fenghuang Tavern when we reach Gongmen City. And I'm telling him no with a capital N." said Crane.

"Is that all?" Po laughed. "If it's just a drink at a tavern, why don't we go?"

Crane stared at him. He couldn't believe that Po of all people would actually agree to this, given that the last time he had gone on a night out had ended with him stuck in a hole in the Training Hall floor for nearly two days with his head covered in sore bumps. But then again he was Po.

"Po's right." Monkey said, again shocking Crane. "Sure last time didn't go as well, but if it's just one drink, what harm can it do?"

"Do you see this cup of tea next to me?" Crane gestured to a cup balanced perfectly on the boat's rail. Po and Monkey blinked when they noticed the white cloth on top. "Do you know why it's got a white napkin on top? I'll tell you why? It's so no-one Psycho Juices me!" Crane glared vehemently at Mantis, who cringed.

While Po and Monkey silently agreed that Crane was being unreasonable, they understood why he was so reluctant. Out of the four of them, Crane had suffered the worst from what they would forever refer to as 'the incident'. While Mantis had gotten engaged to a praying mantis like himself (named Anming, who he was now officially dating after calling the engagement off), and Monkey had gotten hit on the head by a mace during a street riot, and Po had gotten stuck in a hole for two days, Crane ended up losing all of his head feathers after an unfortunate bet with Mantis, and unintentionally let his best friend's infant son get kidnapped by croc bandits. After the whole fiasco, it took two months for his feathers to completely grow back, three for the tail feathers that had been plucked from his butt by a baby elephant.

"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Po asked.

"No, I don't!" Crane retorted.

"Crane, it's just one drink! And Mantis, you promise you won't slip anything into our drinks next time, right?"

"Not even if it's cheap rice wine!" Mantis placed a foreleg over his heart.

"Crane, just give it a second chance." Said Monkey. "Tell you what, I'll ask Viper and Tigress if they want to come along. You know Viper's very observant, she'll notice if Mantis slips us anything."

Po suddenly frowned.

"Wait a sec. Are you sure about Tigress coming along? It's just that she's still hurting from that cut she got from last week's battle."

"She's Tigress. She'll be fine." Monkey said dismissively. "Crane, come on. You can just have one drink if you want."

Crane glared at the three of them for a long while… then sighed in defeat.

"Fine… but ONE drink! ONE drink, and then I'm heading straight back to the Tower of Sacred Flame before anything can happen to me!"

"That's perfectly fine." Said Mantis, ecstatic that Crane had finally agreed.

"Now that that's settled…" Po yawned. "Can we please get back to bed?

Once they had arrived in Gongmen City, Po and the Furious Five found themselves surrounded by citizens eager to once again thank the warriors who had saved their city months before. While the Five humbly accepted the praise and attention, Po blushed from the many compliments and admirations of his single-handed defeat of Shen's entire armada. Shifu, meanwhile, simply nodded to the citizens as he and his students made their way to the rebuilt Tower of Sacred Flame, once again home to the Master's Council.

When they reached the tower, they were greeted warmly by Masters Storming Ox and Croc. The tower itself looked exactly the same as the original tower that had once served as the Peacock Family's home. The warriors were pleased to find that the crater in the courtyard, caused by Shen's original cannon as it obliterated Master Thundering Rhino, had been dug up and replaced with a smooth stone surface, Thundering Rhino's hammer placed in an unspecified location along with several other artifacts from the Master's Council's early days.

In the late afternoon, Monkey, Crane, Po, Tigress and Viper made their way across the courtyard.

"Exactly what is so special about this Fenghuang Tavern?" Po asked as they headed towards the front gates. To his surprise, Mantis blushed.

"Before we left, I told Anming about the opening of the kung fu academy, and she and I made this crazy bet. Basically, if I can attend three openings within two days, Anming will pay for our next five dates."

Po and Crane stared.

"Why would you make a bet like that?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

"Do you know what the third opening's going to be?" Crane asked.

"No, but I'll figure it out after tonight."

As they talked, they exited the palace courtyard and made their way through the winding streets of Gongmen City.

"Master Shifu does know where we're going, right?" Tigress asked.

"It's alright." Mantis looked up from the city map he was holding. "I told him we were going to have a look at this kung fu academy before the opening."

"You lied to him?" Tigress's eyes widened.

"Yeah."

Tigress growled.

"Hey, we're here!" Mantis said quickly.

Indeed, the group was now standing in front of a large building with a signpost in front named 'Fenghuang Tavern.' A large group had formed outside, eager for the opening to commence. Mantis spotted Crane's expression.

"Don't worry, Crane, nothing's going to go wrong. I have made a vow not to poison you guys again, and I intend to keep it."

The sun was low in the reddening sky by the time the opening ceremony began. Once the proprietor of the tavern had cut the ribbon, nearly two-dozen people entered the building, including the six warriors. After a few minutes of squeezing through the crowd, and avoiding those who recognized the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five, the warriors managed to find a single table in one isolated corner of the room. It was quickly agreed that they would all have rice wine (not the cheap kind).

"I'll get the drinks." Mantis hopped from Monkey's shoulder.

"NO!" Crane straightened furiously. His comrades stared.

"I'll get them." Monkey sighed and got up from the table. He returned a few minutes later with a tray carrying six cups and one large bottle.

"Here ya go Crane." Monkey passed Crane his cup first. "One sealed bottle."

"Good." Crane said, but opened the bottle himself and poured the wine, just in case.

This time, the rice wine was delicious.

"Hey Po," Mantis said after taking another sip. "Did you know that you're going to be the guest of honor at the opening ceremony?"

"Really?" his friends looked at him. Po's eyes widened.

"Yeah, I overheard Shifu and Croc talking about it before we left. It's because you were primarily responsible for our victory in the battle against Shen's armada. These citizens owe a lot to you."

"No kidding." Viper said.

"Awesome!" Po waved his fists in the air.

"I actually wrote a speech in your honor." Said Mantis.

"Really? Why would you do that?"

"Because it seemed that nobody else thought to do it." Mantis replied simply. "Do you guys want to hear it now?"

"Sure!"

And so Mantis pulled out several small pieces of paper.

"Hey, everybody. Here's some fun facts. The population of Gongmen City is forty-thousand people. It's twice the size of Anyang. Its chief exports are fireworks, rice and kites. Each year, approximately four hundred people are killed in fireworks accidents in Gongmen City. The climate in Gongmen…"

"Mantis!" Po spoke up quickly. "Why don't you skip to the last paper?"

"Oh, okay then." Mantis put away all the cards but one.

"Not one of you know Po like I do! Not you!" He pointed at a nearby pig. "Not you!" He pointed at the pig's wife. "Not you!" He pointed at the bartender. "Not you!" He pointed at a perplexed looking goose. "Not nobody knows Po like I do! No one! I can't even tell you what we've been through, because we made a pact more important than blood!"

No… the guys thought. He wouldn't…

"What I can tell you is this: Po is not the simple-minded greedy guts you probably think him to be. There was this time last year when I found him in his room with…"

Po bodily launched himself across the table, scattering his friends' cups and sending Mantis flying along with the last paper.

"What was that about?" Tigress asked as Po returned to his seat.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Po blushed furiously.

"How about a toast!" Crane said quickly as a dazed Mantis retrieved the scattered cups and refilled them.

And so the six friends stood up (Viper straightened her long body while Mantis hopped on Monkey's shoulder) and tapped their cups together as the sun disappeared over the horizon and day turned into night.