"GHYAAAAAAAAA!"

Naruto sure makes a good alarm clock. You can't help but wake to his scream of terror.

I fell to the floor when Naruto (my sweet, innocent *coughprankstercough* Naruto) jumped up.

"Oh my god! Nami-chan! Are you okay?"

I rubbed my sleepy eyes. "Just sleepy... I fell asleep around five-thirty in the morning..."

"But-but why were you sleeping on... top of me...?" Naruto asked and blushed deeply.

"You wouldn't let go of my arm after I covered you with the blanket," I said as I stood up. I yawned. "I'm going back to sleep. Try not to blow up my kitchen," I said before sluggishly walking to my room. I fell to my bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Luckily I had only my nightgown on so that my clothes weren't very uncomfortable...

I was woken up by a loud explosion. Jumping out of the bed I rushed to the kitchen. The air was full of black smoke and the smell was horrible.

"NARUTO! WHAT DID YOU DO?" I shouted and stumbled to the window and opened it. Slowly the smoke begun to fade.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto defended himself.

"What *cough* were you trying to do?" I asked between coughing. I HATE smoke...

"N-nothing!" he said a little too fast for my likening. I also saw him blushing through the smoke.

I went to the stow and looked to the pan that was there. No, it wasn't that that blew up... The only other thing I could come up with was the micro. So I went to it.

What I saw certainly didn't make me happy.

It was totally blown up. I knew I shouldn't have jinxed it….

The food that had been inside was scattered all over my kitchen. It was red, that was all I could see but I couldn't determine anything else from its looks.

"What were you trying to heat in the micro?" I asked in deadly calm voice.

"I...uh... I was t-trying to-to h-heat... uh... heated tomatoes!" (you know those grilled tomatoes I personally don't like them but they sound like something Hanami would like...)

I blinked stupidly. "Excuse me?"

"I wanted to surprise you..." he mumbled.

"You certainly did surprise me but probably in a fashion you didn't mean," I thought aloud, my anger vanishing with the smoke and turning to amusement. I begun to chuckle lightly. Soon it turned to full blown laughter and Naruto joined me. We laughed a good while for the comical situation he had caused. Well, I was laughing at it but Naruto probably was laughing just for laughter's sake.

"So, what are we going do today?" I finally asked after calming down.

"Uh... don't we have to take our ID photos today?" Naruto asked and rubbed his head.

Oh yeah, them... I glanced at the clock... half past eleven... OH MY GOD! WE WERE LATE ALREADY!

"Naruto! We were supposed to be at Hokage tower half an hour ago! We're so late! Get dressed in proper clothing meaning NO orange or any make-up!" I shouted as I ran to my room to get ready for the most important photos of my life.

I put on my bra and panties before throwing on a fishnet shirt, dark blue skirt (and shorts of the same shade), bandages for my kunai holder, and a lighter blue vest (very different to the chuunin vest...). I tied my hita-ite on my forehead and headed out of my room to "Naruto's room"... I wonder why he just didn't officially live here as I certainly did have enough space... "Naruto! You ready?"

"Just a moment Nami-chan!" came the muffled answer. Soon (about two minutes later) Naruto stumbled out of the room dressed in black. He didn't look so bad... not bad at all! (of course he looked YOUNG for me but hey, I'm thirty five...)

I grabbed his hand and began to drag him behind me to the Hokage tower where we took our ID pictures. We were sitting in Hokage's office when the door flew open and a little brat fell down. It looked like that kid, Konohamaru that had taken to following Naruto around.

The kid got up and I saw that she was a girl in this dimension. She had dark brown long hair done in a ponytail, the red scarf was still there but this time more fashionably around her waist and had a kunai pouch sewed on it. She had a deep orange long sleeved shirt (the sleeves were slit so that they were hanging) with Konoha symbol on the back, dark green pants and black sandals.

She pointed at Naruto and I and began shouting about how we had set a trap for her in the room. Then apparently her sensei entered and told her that there was no trap in the room and for some reason called her honorable granddaughter instead of her name. Naruto and I decided to sneak away as we were done there anyway before the brat decided to follow us.

"So, what are we going to do today?" Naruto asked as we exited the tower.

"Hmm... we could go back to my apartment and clean the mess..." Naruto groaned, "OR we could go train somewhere. I need to practice some jutsus."

"Training! Training! Training!" Naruto voted excitedly. Then he lowered his voice. "Is a square shaped rock following us?"

I glanced behind and there certainly was one with legs following us. "Either both of us are under a genjutsu or there really is a square rock following us. As the possibility of genjutsu is highly unlikely, I'd say that logically there is a square rock following us."

As the brat didn't understand our subtle hinting we turned around and glared at the square "rock".

"Why are you following us, huh?" Naruto yelled.

"We've know all the time that you've been following us! Leave us alone and go play with your friends!" I growled.

The girl stood up and the box was set aside. "Heh, you two are worth your reputation, I see. It's impressive you could see through my cover," the girl said with a smirk.

I crossed my arms and Naruto put his to his pockets. "So what do you want?"

"Train me!" she yelled.

I quirked an eyebrow at Naruto who looked just as confused. "Why would we do that?" he asked. "We have our own training to do!"

"Please oyabun!" the girl cried.

"Oyabun?"

"Please oyabun! Please hime-sama!" the girl cried.

I glanced at Naruto. I can't help but feel drawn to her. From what I know she's orphan and alone just like me and Naruto. And I could only benefit for having a "little sister"...

"Okay, okay!" I finally gave in. "What's your name, kid?"

The girl's eyes brightened up by the question. "It's Konohimeru!"

"Well, Konohimeru, follow us and we'll go to some training ground and start your training..." Naruto said a bit reluctantly and led us to the training ground that had a vend machine there.

"Show us what you can do, Konohimeru-chan," Naruto told the girl. I sat down to the shade of a tree to watch them.

The girl scratched the back of her head and gave an embarrassed grin. "I can do the kawamiri and the bunshin but my henge is horrible and my taijutsu is the basic academy one."

Both Naruto and I got a sweat drop on the back of our heads.

"So you basically can't do anything... Alright! I'm going to teach you the kage killer!" Naruto informed Konohimeru. Her face light up and Naruto grinned and opened his mouth.

I got a bad feeling of this...

"Oiroke no jutsu!" he shouted and was evolved in a puff of smoke. When the smoke faded, it revealed an older girl with curves almost any girl would die for and long blond hair done on two ponytails. The girl winked at Konohimeru and was enveloped in a puff of smoke again. A grinning Naruto was revealed from the smoke.

I got a tick mark on my forehead. He hadn't done anything different to the other time line but this time I'm a girl and he just insulted my gender. "Naruto, if you use that jutsu once more, I'm going to start using an improved version of it."

Naruto glanced at me and grinned. "Oh? Nami-chan, I didn't know you'd do "useless" jutsus like these?" he mocked playfully. He turned back to Konohimeru. "Oiroke no jutsu is a modified version of henge and it's easier to learn. It's base is to know what males want to see in females like big boobs, slim waist and large hips. Try it Konohimeru-chan!"

Konohimeru nodded and formed the ram seal. "Oiroke no jutsu!" she cried and was enveloped in a puff of smoke. When it faded it revealed a fat girl in bikini. She looked a bit like an Akimichi…

"My eyes!" Naruto shouted and covered them. Konohimeru transformed back and looked beaten.

I laughed slightly from the shadow. When the two looked at me I giggled some more.

"What?" Naruto finally cracked.

"Oh, it's just that that it might be hard for Konohimeru-chan to learn it in girl version as she is a girl," I explained. Naruto and Konohimeru looked at each other.

"What do you mean, Nami-chan?"

"That that it might be easier for her to learn this first," I said. I got up, brushed the dirt of off my clothes and formed the ram seal. "Oiroke no jutsu: male version!" I was enveloped in a cloud of smoke and when it vanished, it revealed an older (healthy) and naked Sasuke. I gave a warm smile and waved at Konohimeru who blushed and got a nose bleed. I transformed back and laughed (hard) at Naruto's gob smacked expression. It soon turned to a horrified one.

"Nami-chan! How could you?" he shouted.

I stopped my laughing instantly and looked at him. "Could what?"

"How could you mock my jutsu like that?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

I pouted. "I'm not mocking it; I improved it to fit for girls too."

Naruto pouted and we girls laughed at him.

"Ne, ´Himeru-chan, the jutsu is easy. Just imagine what you'd like to see in a boy and henge into that imagine. So, if you like, let's say, blond hair, then the henge will probably have blond hair. And guess what the best part of the technique is? You can name the henge!" I informed the two. "Naruto-kun has named his henge as Naru-chan and I've named mine as Sasuke."

"Sasuke and Naru..." Konohimeru said slowly. Then her face brightened up. "I think I get it now, Hanami-hime! Oiroke no jutsu: male version!" She was enveloped in a puff of smoke (again) and when it disappeared, in her place stood a very handsome black haired man with lavender eyes. For me he looked a bit like Neji from the other timeline but this one didn't have the cage bird seal or Neji's arrogant look.

I clapped my hands with a proud smile on my face. "Very good `Himeru-chan! Now that you know what you have to look like to attract a female, you have to learn to attract males too. What kind of women attracts attention on streets?"

"Hey! I'm supposed to teach her that!" Naruto shouted.

I lifted an eyebrow at him. "And what do you expect in women, oh all knowing Naruto-sama?" I asked sarcastically.

He blushed. "I'm not old enough yet to think those things!"

"And you created such a jutsu without knowing what you were actually doing?"

"Well... no... I saw a pervert peeking on women's bath and asked him what he was doing and he explained IT to me and then he explained other things too, like how he was the "SUPERPERVERT" and the legendary toad sage Jiraya..." Naruto explained with an embarrassed look on his face.

I narrowed my eyes. "And what were you doing at the women's bath, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto almost began panicking as he saw my expression. "I-it's surrounded by the tallest trees there is in Konoha a-and I was training the tree climbing exercise!"

My mood swings are weird... I wonder what's happening? It's never happened before... So, I smiled and forgave him... scary... and it seemed like Naruto silently agreed with me... I turned back to Konohimeru. "'Himeru-chan, try the original again."

She gave me a bright smile and formed the ram seal again. This time when the smoke cleared there was a very good looking brunet and Naruto clapped his hands in glee.

"Oy, 'Himeru-chan, why did you want us to train you anyway?" Naruto asked.

Konohimeru's face fell a little. "Well, you see, I want to be Hokage and get everyone's recognition. My grandpa gave me the name Konohimeru after the village and even thought everyone knows it, I know they know it, no-one ever calls me that... I'm always "the honorable granddaughter" or "young mistress"... and I don't have any friends as I'm being "home schooled" by Ebisu-sensei..." explained Konohimeru quietly.

Identity problems, much? Yeah...

"Konohimeru, you know, I have the same problem. I'm the last Uchiha and everyone awaits great things from me, things I'm not sure I can ever do, so I rebel against them," I told the younger girl, hinting to my friendship with Naruto.

"People hate me for some reason, they call me a demon and a monster and I've decided to prove them wrong," Naruto continued after me. "So someday we might have to battle for the title of Hokage."

Konohimeru looked up to us and gave a slight smile before nodding.

Our moment of harmony was interrupted by the closet pervert, Ebisu.

"Honorable granddaughter! Get away from that boy!"

I glared at him and was about to open my mouth when Naruto interrupted me.

"It's Konohimeru."

"What?"

"Her name is Konohimeru, use it."

Wow! I looked at him with new respect. I now can see why he became the Rokudaime Hokage.

The special jonin just glared at him and pushed his sunglasses back making them flash in the sun. Behind the glasses his eyes flashed too but with hatred. I really hate it when people does that to him… not acknowledge him.

"Oy! Baka-sensei!" I shouted. "Stop glaring at Naruto-kun like that!"

Naruto gave me a brief, thankful smile and Ebisu seemed surprised that I was even there.

"This doesn't concern you Uchiha-san! Now honorable granddaughter, IF YOU HANG OUT WITH THAT" Ebisu pointed at Naruto, "THING, IT'LL MAKE YOU STUPID! STUPIDITY SPREADS LIKE A DESACE AND I DON'T WANT YOU INFECTED!"

Konohimeru glared at her teacher and made the ram seal. "Oiroke no jutsu!"

In her stead there stood an older version of Konohimeru who winked suggestively at Ebisu who had frozen and dropped his jaw.

Konohimeru changed back and pouted. "Why didn't it work?"

Ebisu recovered from his shock very quickly and grabbed Konohimeru's scarf. He began to pull her away but she fought it with all she had.

"I'm a gentleman! That kind of stupid techniques won't work on me!" Ebisu declared.

Uh-huh… now he's done it. No-one can call Naruto's techniques stupid without getting punished for it. I learned the hard way…

Flashback:

I stared at the neon orange "paint" on my apartment's walls.

I had gone shopping for half an hour and left Naruto to my apartment after he had showed me his Oiroke no jutsu for the first time. I had called it stupid then.

I dropped my bags and ran to the kitchen where I found Naruto calmly sipping tea. When he saw me he grinned widely. "So, what do you think? Gives you a headache pretty soon, eh? I call it the Migraine no jutsu!"

I covered my eyes from the burning orange. "Naruto, please, take it off! I think my eyes are burning out!"

"Nu-huh!" he answered. "No way! Not before you say my Oiroke no jutsu isn't stupid!"

"YOUR OIROKE NO JUTSU ISN'T STUPID! NOW PLEASE TAKE IT OFF!" I yelled with my eyes still covered.

End flashback:

After that I could never look at my apartment the same way again. And I would always see an orange shade in the white walls… but in the end, Naruto had canceled the jutsu and apologized for traumatizing me.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand… Naruto glared at Ebisu and formed a cross seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" he called out and the whole clearing was full of Narutoes.

Ebisu Hmm'ed. "You might have won that pathetic Mizuki, who was only a chuunin, with that technique but I'm an elite tutor! You're not going to win!"

"Henge!" was called out and each and every clone henged into Naru and making suggestive motions. Some were even strangling Ebisu who had freezed before a massive nosebleed blew him away.

The clones puffed away and a grinning Naruto was revealed from the smoke.

"I call that Harem no jutsu!" he announced proudly.

I slapped my forehead with my hand. I should have known! Another almost useless technique!

"Cool!" Konohimeru cheered. "But…" her voice flattened, "I couldn't even beat sensei… If I can't beat even him, then how am I supposed to be Hokage?"

"Himeru-chan," I began, "what ever you do you have to remember that there are no shortcuts to that kind of things. You can only speed up the process."

"Yeah, we've worked hard for what we can do. It takes time," Naruto said.

Konohimeru pouted. "You're no longer fir to be my oyabun and hime-sama!" she declared. "From now on you're my rivals for the title of Hokage!"

Naruto and I grinned at her and took off waiving.

Once we were out of the hearing range I turned to Naruto. "What was that clone? Yesterday you couldn't make even one."

Naruto suddenly became nervous. "Heh, well… you see… Mizuki… uh…

!"

"Oh?"

"Yeah…"

"Tell me about this jutsu."

"Well, it creates a solid body…"

"So basically, it could do work?"

"Uh… yeah?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE? MY APARTMENT COULD BE CLEAN ALREADY!" I grabbed him by his ear and began to drag him behind me to my apartment.

A/N:

Sorry for the long (or not so long by my standards…) wait!

Thanks for Chibi-Chaaan, Firebullet19 and naturokurosaki for reviewing! ^.^