2 months later

I've been dreaming a lot lately…ever since the incident….. All I ever see is my team dying. When I wake up from the coma I was supposedly in, and go to ask for my family, they say they have no idea who I'm talking about. I just can't believe that they're actually gone.

1 month later

When they finally let me out of the hospital, I am so in denial that I go back to the B.A.U, just to see them again. But when I arrive the desks of my team members are empty. I ask them what happened to all of the others and they tell me that there was a terrible explosion and that the former agents have been replaced. That confirmed it…..my life is over. So I got down to the lake to clear my head.

As I look over the lake I see all the faces of those I cared for; Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss. I still can't bring myself to believe what happened that one day… my birthday. I wonder why I didn't just take the day off like Gideon had ordered me to. Well now you know why I'm standing here looking blankly over the lake. And then you'll be gone, the caring gone, and I'll be all alone.

I realize something I hadn't noticed before though, there's something in my pocket…when I pull it out I start to cry, reliving the day that JJ gave me that locket, with a note inside that read

Hey Spence,
I know you're probably mad about your mother's face being cut out of the picture on your desk, it was the only one I could find for the locket. I really hope you like it, happy birthday I hope it's the best.
Love you Spence Hugs from JJ

I wish I had opened the locket that day so I could tell her that she was like my sister, that I'd do anything to protect her. Maybe I could've protected her that day.

So I am going to a bar to drown out my troubles. I don't know why, it just makes me relive it. But I sit there and I order a shot of vodka and tequila mix and I just keep ordering them. One turns into ten, and ten to fifteen, then on the radio I hear the song "Me and my Gang" by rascal flats come on, and all the feelings that were inside of me explode. I yell at a man who didn't even know me…..and I get thrown out of the bar by the big shots. They tell me to wobble my way home before I get crushed by anyone bigger than me. Everyone is bigger than me…..I bet a kid could take me down.

When I get home I just lay there in denial thinking of the "what ifs". I'd heard that wasn't good for you but who really cares at this point.

A few weeks later

For the next few weeks I practically mope around my tiny apartment. There is no point in living without my family. My mother has left me messages but do I answer her? Not really.

One day I turn on the T.V. to see what who's been killed lately…..and if the new guys are already cleaning it all up. Then I see a missing person report that seems awfully familiar. I can't place where I've seen this person on the T.V. , but then I hear them say the name Spencer Reid. I finally realize who they are referring to. They say that Gideon, Hotch, Garcia, Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan have all sent out a search for me!...
But…..they can't…because they're dead. Everyone said that they're dead!

Then I hear my front door bust down and a familiar voice yell, "F.B.I!" The next thing I know is I am seeing darkness….I'm afraid of the dark. I'm not dead…..I feel like I'm in a car and we keep hitting potholes, and now I just hear laughing. I'm blacking out…I am slipping into a deep most welcomed unconsciousness (considering I haven't been able to sleep in the past 48 hours).

Feeling dazed as I wake, still in darkness I hear voices saying it will all be over soon, and I can only think to myself, "Well Reid you're going to die and no one will ever care because you're a nobody!"…..my thoughts are interrupted by the vehicle coming to a stop. I'm being moved, and I smell a familiar perfume. It smells like JJ's.

" I must be dead." I think drearily. I am hearing Garcia's voice faintly.

"Damnit Reid snap out of it, wakeup!" She yells. "Hotch! I think you killed Reid!" Now I am hearing Hotch's voice.

"How is this my fault?!" He asks In his usual drill sergeant tone of voice. Then I hear JJ and Morgan. My big brother and sister for all intents and purposes.

"You were supposed to unzip the body bag so he could breathe a little better!" They both cry in unison. Then I snap to my senses and realize That there is no way I can be dead. And…wait!

"YOU PUT ME IN A BODY BAG… WAS IT USED!?" I yell at all my team members as I realize what has been said. They all sigh in relief and Morgan starts to laugh.

"How did you know, was it the smell." He asks, still laughing.

I gasp and say, "Please no!"

Morgan just laughs and says, "I was only joking kid! We just wanted to surprise you is all. Heard you went off the deep end for awhile so…surprise! We're all reinstated at the BAU!" I want to kill him sometimes. But then again I am happy in the moment, knowing that things are going back to normal. My family isn't dead, we all have our jobs back, and now we can catch those sick Pyro Maniacs once and for all